im-so-tiredlol

[im-so-tiredlol]

Hi I'm back, I actually wasn't counting calories for awhile and I was for sure I was gaining weight but I guess I was too happy w friends to care. Until I finally weighed myself, I've been avoiding weighing myself because I just can't look at the number going up. I finally weighed myself and I actually dropped 9 POUNDS I was 144 before and now I'm 135! I've never been so shocked.

I've noticed I've been getting skinnier cause of my mom's comments and body checking. I guess I just couldn't believe it. But I'm back to restricting food, losing almost 10 pounds gave me so much motivation.

[im-so-tiredlol]

I went to megacon today I got a fuck ton of steps so that was amazing and I only had a smoothie

Anyway I want to get to atleast 130 before my birthday so I'm getting back on the grind

[im-so-tiredlol]

My gf bought me a pastry and I had to eat it 😭

What of waste of 320cals

[im-so-tiredlol]

Did good today, almost failed at lunch cause I was with friends and didn't want to seem suspicious and be the only one not eating but I ate only a lil

I didn't know how much I should log for that but it was around 200cals

I'm gonna start not eating lunch tho

[im-so-tiredlol]

The left is my current measurements and the right was last years measurements when I first started

It sucks how I lost so much but ended up right where I started

[im-so-tiredlol]

Guys I'm starting over, I was at 117lbs. Literally 17 pounds to my goal weight but I fucked it up and gained everything back this year. Now I'm gonna get myself back down there to 110 before I start college

[im-so-tiredlol]

I've been doing so good lately. Was up till 5am and still didn't binge, almost made a sandwich but I had enough willpower to close the fridge and have coffee instead

I'm so proud of myself

[im-so-tiredlol]

I'm losing so much hair and it's freaking me out

The point of all this is to be beautiful so if I'm losing hair then what's the point. If it's not one thing its another

I found 2 bald spots

I put some hair growth oil to maybe help out of panic but like wtf

[im-so-tiredlol]

Finished my first 24 hour fast!

I should eat smth but ima wait till dinner

[im-so-tiredlol]

Is it bad that I love the attention when my friends keep telling me I should eat

I feel powerful

[im-so-tiredlol]

Homecoming is today so I can't eat real food all day

Beauty is pain

[im-so-tiredlol]

i wanna burn a cigarette on him.

[im-so-tiredlol]

Bruh I'm so high rn at work and I'm STRUGGLING to take orders, why did I get zoomed in the bathroom lol

[im-so-tiredlol]

Omg 2 million iq over here, I just ran out of school money. If I don't tell my mom then I'm forced to not eat lunch no matter what even if I wanted to binge. This is perfect

[im-so-tiredlol]

Omg I just had a medium coffee with some milk and now I need to shit all the time

Idk if this is a good thing lol, at least I'm losing some weight ig

Why do I keep forgetting I'm lactose intolerant

[im-so-tiredlol]

Okay I'm done healing and shit

Back to the grind

[im-so-tiredlol]

Bruh I'm so proud of myself, they served sloppy Joe's at lunch and I fucking love sloppy Joe's but I still didn't eat anything. I'm happy lol