iloveyoublue

[iloveyoublue]

i was thinking about writing a rosestarkillerchaser fic about reg getting pregnant but not knowing if james barty or evan was the father

should i do it

y e s you absolutely should

give me all the angst i beg, i want him refusing to tell any of them while trying desperately to hide all the signs (obviously failing miserably) and them slowwwly finding out and all of that cute fluffy hurt/comfort yesyesyes

pregnancy fics aren’t usually my vibe but i think ur onto something anon, if u tag me afterwards or send me the link or something i will literally love you forever

(honestly this goes for anyone writing rosestarkillerchaser, send me all the good fics i need them injected into my veins)

[iloveyoublue]

im just saying that barty crouch jr covered in an alarming amount of blood and smoking a cigarette would solve a lot of problems

[iloveyoublue]

okay more headcannons

evan’s is on his hipbone where it’s nice and hidden (and perpetually covered in hickeys), barty is a fucking maniac who got his right on his neck

barty will forever be using ‘let me see your tattoo rosie?’ as an excuse to get on his knees without being obviously desperate

evan subtly bares his teeth at anyone who comes too close to barty, daring them to make the connection to the mark on barty’s neck even when evan is the other side of the room

the alleged reason barty got his tattoo on his neck is because he likes to show off evan’s claim on him, but they both know it’s the same reason barty nicknamed evan ‘little vampire’; because it’s evan’s favourite place to bite

they did it themselves, stick and poke style, and barty wanted to immediately bite down and stick the needle in (WHICH: BAD!!!! DONT DELIBERATELY BREAK SKIN NEAR HUMAN MOUTH GERMS!!!!!!) but little dissection freak evan rosier had enough sense to know that was a stupid idea and so (although he really wanted to just say fuck it) they cleaned the mark with antiseptic wipes and used a pen to draw in the lines first

evan still def got off on the whole sterilisation process tho, barty’s all wriggling and squirming, trying to buck his hips up into the air while evan’s pinning him down, needle in hand, all clinically detached even tho he’s hard in his jeans

barty and evan have eachothers bite marks tattooed on their bodies

[iloveyoublue]

barty and evan have eachothers bite marks tattooed on their bodies

[iloveyoublue]

it gets to the point that regulus is very seriously considering training an owl to peck barty off his bed all the way in the Crouch abode because you just k n o w that he got cocky as fuck in his letters over summer without Reg or Evan to put him back in his place

as a firm regulus/barty/evan being hogwarts roommates believer, if you don’t think regulus had a little sign with the amount of times barty got pushed off the beds for being a little shit ur so wrong

[iloveyoublue]

where the actual FUCK Is my barty crouch jr?

[iloveyoublue]

thinking about how any animal doing something vaguely weird or annoying or just plain stupid that evan comes across gets nicknamed ‘barty’, like a raccoon going through hogwarts bins or a bird that accidentally flies into a window

and barty goes to a pet shop place to find some disgusting creature as payback but while he’s there this little blonde kitten takes a liking to him and ends up falling asleep on his thigh, and bartemius simp crouch jr literally can’t help himself

and that’s the story of how barty brings home evan the kitten who quickly ends up ruling the roost in the slytherin dorms, which evan the human h a t e s, especially when it decides to sleep curled up on his pillow every night

barty will whine for hoursss if evan tries to move the cat, which was originally meant as a joke but when a sleep deprived evan stormed into barty’s bed because he refused to share with ‘that mangy cat’, barty quickly ups the ante and they end up sharing most nights just to stop the headache evan gets from bartys screeching

(regulus caught barty moving the cat from curled in the common room back up to evan’s bed once, and hasn’t had to do a single piece of transfiguration homework for the entire term in exchange for keeping the secret)

[iloveyoublue]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you 💖

i love this ask!! as always, i’m incapable of shutting up so welcome to a rambly look inside my brain <3

1. glittery eyeshadow (im a sucker for anything that sparkles, i spend way too much money on shiny jewellery honestly)

2. the sound that wax seal stamps make when you take them off the paper

3. the bluebell woods by my house at the very start of spring (my fav flower + my fav season combined)

4. physically making something with my hands (whether that’s beading jewellery or baking cookies or making paper, there’s something about physically creating a tangible item that makes my little lizard brain go screeeeee)

5. having hours of made up conversations with fictional characters in my head (i swear if i could plug a memory stick into my head and transcribe my daydreams i’d be the most productive author ever but i keep forgetting to write it downnn)

[iloveyoublue]

at least there's gay people

[iloveyoublue]

barty has a tongue piercing and evan has a dick piercing, in case you were wondering

[iloveyoublue]

headcannon in a universe where hozier and jegulus exist simultaneously, regulus fully fixes his sleep schedule simply because he knows if he’s awake past 3am on a night he’s spent in James’ bed he’ll get loudly serenaded with the lyrics to ‘too sweet’ with an extra comma after ‘my coffee’

[iloveyoublue]

barty crouch’s favourite ice cream is secretly plain chocolate but whenever him and evan go out he makes a point to order the most disgustingly sweet bubblegum or candy floss or birthday cake flavour. and it’s absolutely because he's a simp who likes listening to evan get so passionate in his rant about artificial chemicals and how he’s rotting his body and going to end up dead before 25, except it’s so sickly he can’t even finish it and he has to surreptitiously shake the cone and hope it falls off without evan noticing (it never works)

they always end up sharing evan’s salted caramel instead

(regulus black likes pistachio ice cream and blood orange sorbet and barty will never ever shut up about it)

[iloveyoublue]

regulus has a couple slutty little lace thongs that he wears occasionally under high waisted slacks and tucked in shirts so they can never be seen

barty steals them after they start dating and wears them visibly poking over the top of his baggy jeans

[iloveyoublue]

knife kink evan 🤝 gun kink barty

[iloveyoublue]

that sign had at least four extendable charms added to it as the number got bigger and bigger over the school year, i accept no criticism

as a firm regulus/barty/evan being hogwarts roommates believer, if you don’t think regulus had a little sign with the amount of times barty got pushed off the beds for being a little shit ur so wrong

[iloveyoublue]

as a firm regulus/barty/evan being hogwarts roommates believer, if you don’t think regulus had a little sign with the amount of times barty got pushed off the beds for being a little shit ur so wrong

[iloveyoublue]

sorry for being unstable and anxious im possessed by demons do you still find me sexy