ilikeoldmentoomuch

[ilikeoldmentoomuch]

This is my guilty pleasure.

no tricks on April Fools, i'm going to come right out and make it weird without misdirection. anyway, hold this, doofuses

Heimerdinger/f!Reader 749 Words - NSFW Oral Sex f!Receiving, Overstimulation

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“Isn’t this a bit… fast, Professor?”

“My dear, if you’re hesitant, I’ll not force you. That’s not what this is about, what we agreed upon.”

Heimerdinger, always thoughtful in ways that never quite made sense to you until situations had come to pass. Situations like this, where you’re in his lavish quarters and seated at the edge of his bed - the perfect height, he’d told you when he could see up your skirt before. His wording had startled you, until he’d made his desire known. 

You hadn’t known how to take it, especially when Yordles aren’t quite equipped to lay with a human, but the look in his eye as they’d flicked to the slip of your underwear between your thighs had been telling. Heimerdinger’s not looking for physical activity - he’s looking for a meal. 

That’s how you end up with your skirt rucked up and his fingers tugging at your underwear until they’re to your ankles. His fur is devastatingly soft against your inner thighs as he leans in, pausing only at your question about the speed at which things are moving. He has a point, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t already wet from the implications that he was only interested in gaining pleasure through your own. 

“You do look rather excited though. Wouldn’t you rather I take care of this for you?”

You absolutely would, and instead of objecting to him, you lean back on one hand and bury your fingers in the thick hair on the top of his head. What shampoo does he use, you wonder? Does he condition it? Perhaps blow dries-

Meandering thoughts are helpless in the wake of his tongue diving right in, dragging from hole to clit in one smooth, practiced motion - over three-hundred years old, he must have gathered some experience in that time. It’s not the motion that gets you though, it’s the texture of his tongue that drags a whining sound from you. A bit rough, but not uncomfortably so, and the dexterity of it when he pushes it inside you has your eyes rolling straight to the back of your head. 

“Gods, Professor, you feel amazing,” You breathe between the embarrassingly rough sounds of your pleasure. Heimerdinger can’t answer, not with his mouth full of your cunt, but his hands squeeze the bottoms of your thighs in a silent answer. He knows. 

When did he get so smug, you wonder? Likely between all the people he’s somehow lain with to get this good at eating women out. His eyes flick up to you, looking through the roughened fur that serves as his eyebrows, and you’re startled with the blown-out pupils, the half-lidded gaze of unfettered lust that’s being directed solely in your direction. 

On reflex, when his tongue curls inside you to hit your g-spot and his fingers circle wetly around your clit, you tighten your grip on his fur. Heimerdinger moans against you, doubling down on his efforts and sending the clear message that he’d liked that very much. So you tug on his hair and rock against his face, chasing your pleasure against his tongue and the wetness of his nose that could just as easily be dampened from your arousal instead of its natural state. 

“That’s it, my dear, take what you need from me,” Heimerdinger gasps quickly, only pulling away long enough to encourage you before going back in for more, intent on bringing you to that peak he’s been desiring from you. You’re more than happy to oblige, his fingers and tongue working ridiculous miracles that you’ve never felt before. 

You don’t last much longer, your release coating Heimerdinger’s facial fur as he backs away to breathe. You flop back on the bed, boneless and sated, but Heimerdinger is not. You get only a few beats of your heart to rest before he pushes his way back between your thighs and it all starts over again. 

Heimerdinger doesn’t stop until you’re sobbing, your thighs clamped together to prevent him from going back in for the sixth time. And he has the audacity to tut his tongue and wipe his face with a nearby towel - had he planned this, with how coincidental its placement was? You don’t want to think about it for too long, not when you’re buzzing from too many orgasms. 

“Wonderful job, that’s better than even I expected, and I always carry such high hopes for you. Do you need a drink before we go again?”

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*whispering* smash...

ARCANE | Heimerdinger Displate Posters

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Real

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This is only incorrect because Sullivan would not have been confused. Love it though

Sullivan: Poro...

Poro: Oh no, you're saying "Poro" in B-flat, inflected, diminuendo, low timbre...

Poro: Hmmm...

Poro: Lemme guess, you're very disappointed?

Sullivan: I was. Now I'm just confused, though.

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*Mr. Krabs SFX*

A lil’ drawing I made for @hidheim, I just had to draw Pulcinella walking like this 🐓

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“Why so restless, My Dear Mayor?”

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Fatui Harbinger Shitting Headcanons because I was stuck in the bathroom shitting while writing this

Pierro

- Would wonder if the curse of Khanreiah was finally ending him

- Start praying to the Tsaritsa in Khanreiahn

Dottore

- A regular Wednesday due to him experimenting and using his own experiments

Columbina

- Somehow never gets a bad poop...

Arlecchino

- When it gets bad the curse on her hand spreads

Pulcinella

- Grabbing the walls

- Trying not to cry

- Eventually gets through it

- Takes note to eat more fiber/make his diet healthier to not go through that again

Scaramouche

- Do puppets even?

- Starts remembering his betrayals

Sandrone

- makes her robots give her toilet paper if she’s out

Pantalone

- regretor

- Uses scents in the bathroom so that it doesn’t stink when he shits

Signora

- screams

Capitano

- Silent but crying inside

Childe

- Grabbing the walls

- Trying not to cry

- Cries

- Always out of toilet paper

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THANK YOU FOR TAGGING MEE :33

I joined Tumblr on my original account to gain more art followers.

Now in this account, I joined Tumblr to simp for old men 😈😈😈 And just do what I want honestly

Have some Pierronella ☺️☺️☺️

@snippychicke @dandelion-blues @stuffymcstuffsworld @shentheauthor :333

i wanna start a tag game >:3

why did you decide to join tumblr?

i’ll start!!^^

i wanted to join so i could post x reader fics cause fanfiction.net would get upsetti spaghetti when i tried to post them there :D

tagging: @hotelcaliforniaenbydancer @nothingtoseehere1-2-3 @rosalinastan1 @ayunakatsukiwolfhashira @pinkwisteria @kimetsu-chan @shycroissanti @slayfics @night-mince10000000000000000001 @zenitsustherapist @frostburn-shoto @floofgryph @aceofstars0 @pulim-v @muichirolover14 @muichirosboba @kiyokatokito

[ilikeoldmentoomuch]

i play both with Pulcinella canon

Fatui Harbingers as Streamers headcanons because i got inspired by koomaxx's video and now i cant get the idea out of my head

Pierro: Im not sure if there's a genre for this type of thing but i imagine Pierro hosting some kind of history lesson on stream. He'd yap about the destruction of khaenri'ah and answer chat's questions. Watch that mf assign you homework for next stream

Capitano: That one streamer who wears a skull mask, has the gates of hell as his background and plays some of the sickest heavy metal songs. Contrary to popular belief, he's actually really chill and nice. He probably spends half of his stream looking at cute animal videos (the guy's name is Grym btw, go check out his channel ^^)

Dottore: Streams his escapades to the dark web in search of organs to buy. Has probably cooked crack or crystal meth on stream before. Gives detailed instructions on how to surgically remove someone's liver. How is he not banned yet

Columbina: One of those cutesy vtubers who play horror or multiplayer first-person shooter games. One moment she's thanking a chatter for the gifted subs, the other she's cursing someone out in voicechat with slurs that haven't been uttered since 1997. Kyoresu/Riro Ron anyone??

Arlecchino: Tries to blow off some steam by grinding on games like Doom or Castlevania but ends up getting more pissed off in the process. She always ends up beating them but not without almost breaking the controller beforehand. Bonus points if her fans refer to her as Father

Pulcinella: I don't see Pulcinella having much of an online presence but regardless, i have two ideas for him; One, he plays those cozy farming games like Stardew Valley or Farmville. Two, he crochets by the fireplace with classical music playing in the background. Unironically, his streams would be the most popular ones out of everyone else's

Scaramouche: He has dedicated himself to breaking every game out there. He will glitch through invisible walls and clip through the map just so he can prove that he can fight the final boss with a level 1 character (who's somehow stuck t-posing for the entirety of the stream)

Sandrone: She's all about that indie horror rabbit hole. She'll play the most unnerving rpgs in absolute silence or somehow manage to obtain a copy of a horrid lost video game that got banned in 43 countries. Completely immune to jumpscares and disturbing imagery

La Signora: Spends most of her streams doing her makeup, chatting with her viewers or dropping some of the most juicy gossip about her fellow harbingers. Deadass becomes involved in some kind of catastrophically nuclear drama that gets her cancelled on twitter but she aint going anywhere

Pantalone: I hate myself for conceiving this idea but Mr Pants over here would be one of those thirst-bait boyfriend-type vtubers. He has the charm, he has the voice and whispering "good girl" into the mic pays MONEY BABY. Unless he spends his streams trying to convince you to invest in bitcoin. Honestly, i dont know which is worse :,)

Tartaglia: Probably the most energetic gamer here. His streams are extremely hype and his chat is absolute chaos. He most likely plays edgy mainstream stuff but don't be surprised if you spot a VOD titled "Playing Dress to Impress until i SLAY" (mf is basically Kenji and Kubz Scouts combined lmao)

@ilikeoldmentoomuch, I gave your boy Pulcinella extra attention in this one. Come get your food

Really proud of how this one turned out

[ilikeoldmentoomuch]

Mrs. Tansu my beloved and Mr. Tansu ig

[ilikeoldmentoomuch]

I wanna see what Nana Shimura would look like as an old woman ngl haha. I imagine she and Torino would be chaotic old people.

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Pulcinella and Childe are so Father Son Duo 🥹🥹🥹

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HEHEHE GET READY OLD MEN OCS

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smash

pulcinella - sketch & doodle

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What if Sullivan actually kicks the bucket? I actually wonder what would happen.

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I love Denken and Senshi too much but Senshi’s a Tumblr sexyman and I must abide by Tumblr rules.

Also, I don’t think either of them would care about this post, and would only care if you took care of yourself (This is what I’m telling myself cuz I feel like I betrayed Denken. MY LOVE, I AM SORRY BUT I MET SENSHI FIRST BUT I LOVE YOU BOTH EQUALLY).

So all of you reading, take care of yourselves for Denken and Meshi. Do it for them.

[ilikeoldmentoomuch]

Fooled around with, Senshi hehe. (take me now and feed me pls ily)