ikigainn
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24 posts
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ikigainn · 2 years ago
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A Delicate Touch | Dazai Osamu
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dazai x reader
warnings: obsession with dazai’s hands, slight mention of suicidal tendencies. i’m sorry this might be so bad.
We’re in a theater watching a play for our undercover mission today. An actor has been getting threats, and it was our job to investigate. Is it hot because of my nervousness about this mission? Or is it him?
It’s the proximity of our hands that's doing this to me. There’s no way that I would be affected by Dazai Osamu. His beautiful, delicate hands were adorned by silver rings around each thin, long finger. He left the bandages and his usual attire today, opting for a formal black suit (that still covered all of him) and slicked-back hair. We were pretending to be a couple in order to avoid any suspicion. His nails were trimmed clean, and the veins—it’s definitely the veins’ fault. I’m letting my hormones control me. Maybe I am starved by a touch (or maybe I’m only starved by his). His fingers are moving in a slow circle on his left knee, the tips of his fingers touching my knee, exposed by my dress. It’s just a slight touch; I doubt he’s even noticing what he’s doing (or maybe he is; he is a wicked devil after all). But every contact makes me feel like my skin is on fire. I try resting my hands on my lap to steer him away. It doesn’t work. Then I exhaled a deep breath, trying to stay away from him. He noticed the sudden distance and looked up at me questioningly, raising a brow. Why does he have to look so dazzling? I turn my head, trying to ignore his annoying presence. Suddenly I feel warm fingers, joined by the coldness of cool metal slowly enclosing my right hand that rests on my lap. I know that it’s him; no one could make me feel on fire like he does. His fingers slid forward between the valleys of my fingers. It’s getting harder to breathe. Suddenly, his thumb brushed over my wrist, feeling my heartbeat.
"Are you doing well, darling?", he asked, smiling that beautiful crooked smile. He leaned in, lips brushing over my ear, whispering, "I’m here for you; it’s always me and you, y/n." What could he possibly mean by that? Why is he driving me crazy? He still didn’t let go of my hand. 
Instead, he started softly sliding the top of his knuckles over my palm and then horizontally across my heart line. The touch of the sudden cool metal created goosebumps (or maybe it’s just his touch?). My hands started sweating. It’s only him who does this to me. Still.. he’s not letting go. I can feel his brown eyes lazily staring at me. I glanced at him briefly, catching his curious gaze. He’s testing me. Inspecting me. Trying to see my reaction and how much he’s affecting me. I’m definitely not affected whatsoever by Dazai Osamu. Men like him don’t belong with me. He’s broken, questionable, and he possibly cannot be staring at someone with that much lo— I mean admiration—in his eyes. He looks at me like I’m the death he so longs for. Maybe he’s just doing this for our undercover act. But why does it feel so real? I could feel his other hand gently sliding beneath mine to trap it. He doesn’t want me to let go. Then his forefinger starts drawing a circle on my palm. Such a simple touch, but my heart is on the verge of exploding. His middle finger joins his forefinger, still drawing a circle. Then his fingers enclose my wrist, and his thumb starts stroking my wrist up and down. What the hell is he doing? He returns his forefinger and middle finger and changes the pattern.. to lines? He lets me go, yet I still feel the fire of his touch on my hand. I realize that the play has ended, and there aren’t any signs of an enemy. "It was such a great play, am I right darling?" He smirked at me. He did this on purpose, utilizing the mission.. and our proximity.. Why though? .. Little did I realize later, the lines he wrote on my hand represented the kanji symbol of love..
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ikigainn · 3 years ago
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arabic poetry is so beautifully yet painfully romantic, i mean “they asked “do you love her to death?” i said “speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life" and “because my love for you is higher than words, i've decided to fall silent" and "it is not enough to say love in Arabic, you must say 'be the thing that buries me'" could have got jane austen crying and shaking
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ikigainn · 3 years ago
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something about you | dazai x reader
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dazai x reader (from dazai’s pov)
warnings: none except that it’s poorly written? and maybe too short
this was heavily inspired by a scene from sjtr series, and i wanted to write it with dazai cause the characters are just too similar
It was a beautiful night out today, the ADA celebrated yet another one of their tough but successful missions together. It was today that you decided to drink a bit more than you could handle, and with the enticing way you’re looking at me now, I think I could barely handle how intoxicating you are to me.
“Osamu”, you whispered softly, looking up at me with your hazy eyes, your hands slowly trailing on my chest. I held my breath, afraid that you would be able to feel how strong my heart was beating for you, how you’re the only one who can do this to me.
“I kept my promise to only dance with you under the moonlight, let’s do it love”, your arms wrapped around me, your chest touched mine and I could feel your warm breath against my neck. Your hands traced circles on my back.
“You smell so good, for once”, you chuckled as you placed a small kiss on my covered neck. I could still feel the heat through my bandages, through my clothes, through everything. You’re burning me. Rousing me with your love.
I chuckled breathlessly.
“I only smell good for you my love”, I could barely speak and choose my words when you looked up at me again, your eyes fixated on my lips this time.
“Why don’t we go inside my love? You’re tired and it’s cold out here” I suggested. This is too much, how do I deserve someone like you?
“No it’s warm here, I’m okay because I’m with you”, you whispered distractingly, your eyes still focusing on my lips, the desire in them making me almost lose my restraint.
“I’m always okay when I’m with you Osamu”. Your warm breaths got closer and your lips almost touched mine, my mind went blank but I smelled the alcohol, I want you to remember this, so instead I kissed your cheek and pulled you closer to me, swaying us both slowly under the moonlight.
I realize I could do anything to be by your side, to feel your warmth that’s burning my heart and making me feel emotions that I never thought I could feel. How can I feel your love with unspoken words?
‘How can I make you feel mine?’ I thought as I wrapped you in my arms, hoping you could love me as much as I love you.
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ikigainn · 3 years ago
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This is the only day you can RT this
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ikigainn · 4 years ago
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i dont know how im supposed to interpret the fact that when pandora opened the box all of the monsters were released unto humanity except for hope, which stayed behind, but every time i think about it i go crazy
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ikigainn · 4 years ago
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israel has been bombing residential towers, refugee camps, media offices and now there are reports that it plans to bomb two UN run schools in palestine. reminder that many ppl who have been rendered homeless by these bombings have found shelter in these schools. palestine's hospitals are overflowing, their top doctors are being killed in these bombings, and the pandemic is still raging while israel is blocking humanitarian aid as well. these are war crimes. this is a genocide.
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ikigainn · 4 years ago
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On “Crime and Punishment”, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, and Bungou Stray Dogs
ft. Nikolai Gogol. LONG POST! Also spoilers for the novel/manga if you haven’t read it already/haven’t caught up yet.
Here are some thoughts I have on certain parallels between Crime and Punishment and Fyodor Dostoyevsky in real life and as portrayed in BSD, also some speculations as to how this book and the real Dostoyevsky might have inspired his BSD version.
Keep reading
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ikigainn · 4 years ago
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“I am crime. I am punishment. Did you know? Crime and punishment are close friends.”
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ikigainn · 4 years ago
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“I’d prefer you don’t go..”
Man BSD Wan hurt. Have some fanart
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ikigainn · 4 years ago
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Huge thank you to @wells-enthusiast (*´∀`*)
You can check the ability singularity analysis here
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ikigainn · 4 years ago
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Streaming Service Rant
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ikigainn · 4 years ago
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“Mine has been a life of much shame. I can’t even guess myself what it must be to live the life of a human being.”
Dazai Osamu, No Longer Human (pg. 21)
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ikigainn · 4 years ago
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reblog if it’s okay to become internet friends
I’ve always wanted internet friends but have never actually had the courage to ask. so this is me asking I guess. I hope this isn’t an inconvenience. if you’d like a good friend to love and support you, I’m here. even if you want to send memes back and forth that’s fine.
we can talk about a show, a movie, your favorite character. we can talk about your day, your favorite music. anything and everything.
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ikigainn · 4 years ago
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You bored, or feeling artsy but don’t have any inspiration...!?
Do you need to distract yourself? Or are you simply bored? 
Well, let’s fix that shit right now~
Here are some great websites to make the time pass.
First off, here are some 100% free art programs!; 
Photoshop CS2 - (Windows, not sure about Mac.)
FireAlpaca - (Windows and Mac)
Medibang Paint Pro- (windows and Mac)
Sketchbook Copic Edition - (Windows and Mac)
GIMP - (Windows) (Mac)
Pain Tool Sai Cracked - (Windows and mac)
Paint tool SAI 2 beta - (tumblr post on said program)
iPaint - (Mac)
Paintbrush - (Mac)
Pencil - (Windows, Mac)
Paint.NET - (Windows)
Seashore [still in development, ver 0.5] - (Mac)
ChocoFlop - (Mac)
Inkscape - (Mac and Windows)
ArtRage [Demo] - (Mac and Windows)
Autodesk Sketchbook 
SumoPaint
OpenCanvas 1.1[must pay for 2.0] - (Windows, not sure about Mac.)
MyPaint - (Windows)
Krita - (Windows)
Vectorian [Supports Animation] - (Windows)
Pixia[Japanese, some English versions] - (Windows)
Asperite - (Windows)
Chasys Draw IES - (Windows)
SmoothDraw - (Windows)
TwistedBrush Open Studio - (Windows)
BOUNS - CTRL+Paint [Great for teaching all kinds of stuff, like how to use digital programs.]
Alrighty, but maybe you don’t want to download software to draw, free or not. That’s just too much time, and let’s face it, you’re already bored. Well, I’ve got you covered peoples, here are some free browser paint/drawing programs!;
Pixlr.com-a browser photoeditor, and can be used for drawing!
Psykopaint
QueekyPaint
PaintOnline- ((also has some random free browser games on site too!))
Sooo, maybe You just don’t feel like drawing…understandable, you beasts-here’s a BUNCH of other websites to calm and/or stretch those brain muscles!;
create pixel art
Awesome photo editor and art program, all free…!
Totally free transparent textures
make a cute chibi
draw some cool generative art
be a graffiti creator
create a picassohead (you don’t need to be a picasso to do so)
paint online
another awsome site to create pixel art on
and another one
create your own mandala
or color one
create an avatar
or you can try creating your own superhero
here you can interact with organisms in different environments to see how to music changes
here’s a website that translates the time into hexidecimal colours,
Here is a website where you can travel along a 3D line into the infinite unkown
here is a website where you can listen to rain with or without music
Need a model in a certain pose for drawing? here
Want to build your own planet
here is a website where you can create your own galaxies
make your own pattern (very useful if you need a new background)
create next hit comic
make a city which looks like something from 90′s games
draw a mandala like design
jig saw puzzles
more jig saw puzzles to solve
create a stunning HTML5 animation - no coding!
make a movie
create and dress up dolls
play a piano
you can also play a guitar
create sounds
another sound creator
create a logo
design your dream home
sketch rooms
explore fashion trends and create your own sets
build a website
try this app for building a website
Or maybe start learning how to code!
design your own t-shirt or a beanie or sweatpants and order them
design your own phone case
pretend to be a graphic designer with this cool online tool
Make your own Glitch art
Here’s another glitch art maker
And another!
Holy hell, here’s a third!
make an image look like it was created by a commodore 64
freaking cool text generator!
Easy to use word processor
Make up really cool patterns or run your photos through it :)
Write an essay on anything with no hassle
Wanna see how something you write would look like if it was on JacksFilms YGS((Your Grammar Sucks videos on YouTube))?
Make pictures out of text
ASCII word generator
Need an idea for some fanart-here :D
mario
cubefield
sleep calculator essay typer
rice questions
maths 
artsy-fartsy pretty thing
quotes
survive nature
rain
tumblr music
calming rain
themes
backgrounds [x] 
loads of references
Still haven’t found something that would float your  proverbial boat? 
Then try these out!:
watch a documentary
learn to code
do something yourself
workout with the help of this great youtube channels
learn things
play pokemon or zelda or other awesome old school games
waste your time on miniclip
play games at additing games
or try games at agame
calm your thoughts
the quiet place
it will be okay
vent or listen to someone
pour out your soul
explore the sky
look at art from around the world
virtually visit museum of iraq
explore world with arounder
create a music playlist
list through rare books
scroll useful science website
create sand art
brain games
try out tastekid and discover new favorite band or movie or book
interactive 3D anatomy
random street view
post a secret
create a family tree
find our what’s the difference between x and y
help scientists and become volunteer researcher
create your own font
read a classic short story
In the mood to read, but not sure exactly what book to go for?
scribble on maps
listen to letters
play with acrobots
listen to podcasts
make a bucket list
Ever want to see the most truly useless websites in creation?
Prank a friend with this blue screen of death!
Zone out watching the colors drip down
Sprite generator!
Face Generator/Creator!
Awesome anime style icon maker
COLOR STUFFS:
Color scheme designer
Find or create Color Pallets here~
Even More stuffs;
Wanna make a custom minecraft skin?
Well then these’ll work!
This one too~
Wanna make a custom error pop up?
Or a custom blue screen? 
WELP, what about making some ASCII art?
Here ya go!
And another one~
WAIT-last one…
OH, and here’s a HTML to image converter!..You’re gonna need that!
How about a pixel text bubble generator
Here’s a photoediting website that’s free and pretty awesome to mess with!
Ok, maybe none of these peeked your interest. 
Maybe you’ve been wanting to create an o.c, but never really knew how to start, or you just enjoy making O.C’s.
This  part of this list is specifically for OCs and Oc building. It can also apply to developing RP characters~
Gemsona stuffs;
Just a straight up character gemsona creator
Here’s another
Not sure what gem to go with, or where? 
OR maybe your unsure about more than just that?
Credit to http://spacetravels.tumblr.com/post/78602010683/so-you-want-to-make-an-oc-a-masterpost-of-ways For the majority of links here!
 ((I added a couple of links! In the appearance, details, and the whole of item names section, and the Gemsona area-((above))! 
As well as the couple of Transformers/Southpark character builder links, and Undertale/TMNT below..
Basically every link I made bold I added, because I am complete fandom trash…
..Seriously, Go check her wonderful blog out~!!!
How to Write Better OCs:
basic tips on how to make your oc even better
tragic backstory? learn how to write one/make yours great
writing specific characters
a wordier, great guide on how to develop your character
kick out those vague descriptions and make them AWESOME
Character Development:
how to actually make an OC
Q&A (to develop characters)
more Q&As
giving your character a backstory
how to write an attractive character
Need an Appearance idea?
Humanoid generator? check
Here’s another one
and maybe if you didn’t like those this’ll work
Need Monsterpeople?
Well, then here ya’ go
Maybe you need Cats?
Diversity;
adding more racial diversity
avoiding tokenism, AKA, how to add diversity to your cast not just because you “need” it
writing sexuality and gender expression(doesnt include non binary, if you have a good ref to that, please add on!)
masterpost on writing more diversity into your story
cultures of the world
guides to drawing different ethnicities(not just a great art reference, but also really helpful in appearance descriptions!)
Mary Sue/Gary Stu;
Test to see if your character is a Sue
Explains subdivisions of Sues/Stus
Powerful Characters Don’t Have to Be Sues
Villains;
villain generator
need an evil sounding name for your evil character? bam
villain archetypes
what’s your villain’s motive for being a villain?
Relationships;
character perceptions(What your character thinks of themselves and what others think of them)
how to write strong relationships between two characters
8 ways to write better characters and develop their relationships with others
OCxLove Interest Handbook
develop your couple with good ol’ Q&A!
how to write realistic relationships
how to write relatives for your characters(this is more OC related to a canon character, but will help in writing family members in general)
ARCHETYPES;
12 common archetypes
8 archetypes for male/female characters
female archetypes (goes pretty indepth from two main categories)
a list of archetypes
NAMES;
how to name your character
random name generator
most common surnames
surnames by ethnicity
APPEARANCE;
tips for better design
basic appearance generator
pinterest board for character design (includes NSFW and images of skeletons/exposed muscle (?) so tread carefully!)
clothing ref masterpost
Clothing generator
Another clothing generator
More clothing generator
Aaaand even more
Steam punk clothing
Char Style preference
Dress Generator
OTHER DETAILS;
give your character better powers
a list of professions
proactive vs reactive characters
positive and negative traits
interest generator
skills generator
motivation generator
123 ideas for character flaws
list of phobias
Oh shit someone died
Backgrounds and stuff? yep
Quirks
Personality. you need that shit
Need something fandom related?
City generator hell yeah
location? got ya
World-building?
make your own god damn laws
Landscape.
Need Item names?;
Fantasy/sci-fi/etc. medicine names
Stuff to make things more interesting.Weapons, clothes, treasures… whatever your characters need.
Item & Artifact Generators
Other story/writing stuffs!
Genre, Plot, & Story Prompt Generators
How did your characters meet?
Fanfic plots. you bet your ass!
WAIT!…if none of that worked, then maybe you want to make a SouthPark style character?
Here!
Well, this one’s nice too~
And another..
Aaaand another!
What about Transformers Characters?;
Here’s a Transformers name generator~
And a Character builder!
UNDERTALE STUFFS GUYS;
Undertale character speech box creator!
^That link may not work, so here’s one for DeltaRune AND Undertale. Actually, it’s super customizable..So go nuts with the AUs~!
Want inspiration for an Undertale Oc?
OR a super Edgy Undertale Theory generator?
Maybe you just want to read some funny Sans Puns!
TMNT STUFFS;
How about a TMNT creator?
Or a TMNT meme generator..
If any of the links have any issues for whatever reason, HERE’S THE LINK TO THE SAME LIST I COPIED TO MY DA ACCOUNT JUST IN CASE;
http://ladyevel.deviantart.com/journal/Mega-List-for-Boredom-and-Inspiration-577571203
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ikigainn · 4 years ago
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BUNGOU STRAY DOGS WAN!
Episode 1
Chapter 23: Bungou Stray Dogs Real
Chapter 5: What’s Inside the Locker?
Chapter 4: An Unfruitful Exchange
Episode 2
Chapter 7: Let’s Go Flower Gazing! 
Chapter 8: To the Baths!
Episode 3
Chapter 13: Operation Errand Run (this or this)
Chapter 17: Finder Kyouka’s
Chapter 32: Ranpo-san’s Day Well Spent
Chapter 4
Chapter 39: Akutagawa-kun’s Errands
Chapter 62: The Mafia Member Who Doesn’t Kill
Chapter 80: Forming a Duo With Him
Episode 5
Chapter 83: Dazai and Chuuya, Pretentious Fourteen-Year-Olds
Chapter 20: A Day in Yokohama
Chapter 65: The Boy and the Puppy
Episode 6
Chapter 53: Dazai-san’s Nail Biter
Chapter 27: If Only I Could Express My Hundred Thoughts
Chapter 25: Please Share! Armed Detective Agency!
Episode 7 (Pre-school episode)
Chapter 15
Chapter 51
Chapter 89
Episode 8
Chapter 91: Hang in There Higuchi-san!
Chapter 22: And the Tracks Go On and On
Chapter 49: Operation Body Double Nom Nom
Episode 9
Chapter 48: Dr. Yosano’s Whoopsies! Forgetfulness
Chapter 43: Miscellany On Shrimp Tails
Chapter 28: Me Drawing You Drawing Me
Episode 10
Chapter 3: Oden with the White Tiger
Chapter 102: Elevator Panic
Chapter 57: The Armed Detective Agency Beats the Heat
Episode 11 (Dark Era Episode)
Chapter 36
Chapter 97
Chapter 64
Episode 12
Chapter 71: Swap Theater
Chapter 40: My Treasure
Chapter 21: Nakajima Atsushi’s Plan
for more bsd wan’s chapters you can go here or here! also for raws, you can go here and don’t forget to click the thumbs up button when you scroll down!
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love yall
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ikigainn · 4 years ago
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here is a twitter thread and constantly updating, currently active google doc that contains the gofundmes, paypals, cashapps, etc of victims of anti-asian hate crimes, asian-owned small businesses, and asians who need financial aid. please consider donating & boosting and adding more donation links if you have them.
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ikigainn · 4 years ago
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Last Thought
Dazai x Reader / Fluff and bad writing
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It was a usual day for you and Dazai, watching the red sunset on the rooftop of the agency building. Yokohama’s lights were slowly starting to turn on, creating a beautiful sight to the eyes.
‘What a beautiful imperfect world we live in, am I right Dazai?’, you smiled softly as you watched the haunting red of the sun disappear slowly.
‘How can you find this dark world so beautiful love? I will never get you’, you heard Dazai’s soft voice from beside you.
‘It is beautiful, but beauty doesn’t mean perfection. As much as how beautiful this world is, it is also the ugliest. As long as humans exist, there won’t be a thing such as perfection Dazai’. Philosophical and deep conversations were a normal thing between you and Dazai, you loved hearing about everything from everyone, specially from Dazai’s perspective.
‘Then why do we exist my love? What’s the value of life?’ He had a distanced look in his eyes. It was rare to see Dazai like this, lost and empty. He always covered the emptiness with that mask of his. Perhaps you were the only one who thought about how awful he is in covering the deep emptiness inside him with a cheerful facade.
‘If life didn’t have any value, we wouldn’t exist in the first place Dazai. There’s a reason we exist in this awful world. The reason is simple.’ You now turned to look at him, staring into his hollow eyes.
‘And that is?’ He turned to face you as well, eyes caught with yours. The sunset makes him even prettier.
‘It is to simply live Dazai. Live through the ups and downs, and finding who we truly are. Meeting our enemies and loved ones. Trying to make beautiful memories and forget about the bad ones, so that when we leave this world, we leave without any regrets’. You brought your hand to his bandaged one and held it softly like fragile glass. He may not understand what you mean now, but you’re just happy to be here in this moment with him.
‘You’ll probably not understand what I mean, nor I’ll be able to save you from the dark holes in your mind. But know that as long as I’m here, I’ll be here for you. And I’m sure that when I leave this world, you’ll be the last thought of mine, and I’ll never regret loving the broken pieces of you’. You were always the one who’s more open with words, you wanted to make him feel the unexplainable emotions that you felt.
Dazai got closer to you, his eyes now shining with life perhaps? He didn’t show his emotions often, but you felt them with every single touch of his. He wrapped his arms around your waist, igniting sparkles to your heart. ‘When I die, you’ll be the last thought on my mind as well’, he smiled softly with those lips of his, and brought them to your forehead, lips pressing affectionately and firmly. As he brought your head to his chest, you heard the comforting heartbeats of his, indicating that he’s still here with you.
‘You make my world more beautiful my love’, he whispered in your ear.
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