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A thing I enjoy about Edwin is that he's an arrogant little shit, but he's especially an arrogant little shit to people who could break him in half.

Empathy and kind words aren't his strongest suit, but with people who seem vulnerable or who need his help he makes an effort. People who are throwing their weight around with him, on the other hand, seem to get him at his most supercilious. He responds to the Cat King trapping him in Port Townsend by telling him his punishment is "unacceptable" and loftily instructing him to "kindly remove it" like he's a misbehaving child playing with magic handcuffs. The Night Nurse tells the Principal that he and Charles are due for an extreme reality adjustment, and he snippily points out that he doesn't think she's in charge here.

I don't know if that tendency to bite back at people who try to talk down to him predates his death (in which case I can't imagine it did him any favours at school) or whether it's something he picked up after spending 70 years in hell on a technicality. Certainly knowing that you were unjustly sent to hell and the proper authorities are okay with it because the right paperwork was filled out would be enough to burn out any latent respect for authority in most people.

But I love his refusal to play nice with people who think they're in charge. Charles may look more like a teenage rebel and Edwin like a teacher's pet, but appearances can be deceiving. Edwin's got a mutinous streak a mile wide. They're better matched than they seem.

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After scrolling through a bajillion pages of the current fad for greige 10 mohairs held together plain sweaters, I have finally found a designer worth buying patterns from! If only they had this scale pattern on a sweater!

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My Case for Why Only Romantic Payneland Would Feel Truly Satisfying

Last night, I made a poll about whether people would be satisfied with QPR Payneland. I was curious where we stood on this as a fandom, and it's cool that it's about 50/50 between "either would be okay" and "I want them romantic."

Preface: I'm a monogamous biromantic asexual. If you were wondering. I have been in both a queerplatonic relationship (where I had a one-sided romantic crush on my QPP) and a few romantic relationships with both men and women.

Preface II: This post is not at all intended to be judgmental of any type of relationship. Poly people are awesome; aro/ace people in QPRs rock. This is specifically examining what is right for Charles and Edwin.

Preface III: I think that Edwin and Charles have definitely been in an unlabeled QPR since the beginning. They don't have the word for it, but it definitely is a QPR. They aren't romantically involved, but they make major decisions surrounding the other one and feel like they would wither up and die if they had to live in separate places.

This was great up until now, I think. A QPR is very valuable, very special, and very beautiful. It's meaningful and has served them wonderfully up until this point.

But it isn't sustainable for these specific characters.

The Need for Exclusivity in Both a QPR and a Romantic Relationship

I think that with no other external factors impacting my media needs, I would be okay with an exclusive QPR Payneland.

@tumblerislovetumblerislife astutely said:

I do not think that there is any world where they're suited for polyamory - this is honestly my biggest nope-out of fics and I deeply, deeply hate it for them.

This is because:

They already feel like a Pair Set to me that cannot be separated or infringed on by anyone else, and

In the end, it would never be fair to a romantic (or other platonic) partner because they would unplug anyone else's life support to charge the other's phone. No one else would ever be the priority over the other, and if they did, that would be OOC.

Even if they decided to date someone else now in the short-term, like Crystal or the Cat King, it's necessarily temporary. It's to Figure Things Out. There is an expiration date. And whether that's due to a romantic or a platonic bond between Edwin and Charles, their bond being stronger than any other is the reason for that expiration date.

So polyamory feels extremely disingenuous to their characters to me and is imo extremely OOC.

Authenticity to the Story

Edwin is currently, in the explicit canon, essentially Charles's QPP who has a one-sided crush on him. That is the explicit canon. It's not a fun place to be, no matter how much your QPP loves you - I have Been There.

Edwin is not unhappy or dissatisfied with the current situation, and he knows Charles loves him. But it still is kind of a sucky place to sit.

Luckily, the love does not actually feel one-sided! Charles reads as a character that has always been romantically in love with Edwin, probably long before Edwin fell romantically in love with Charles, but he neither has the self-awareness nor the words to describe it.

Charles touching his heart at the end of episode 8 makes it clear that he is beginning to have his Big Epiphany. I wish the show wasn't canceled because, uh, I want it.

This obvious two-sided romantic love makes a future QPR feel inauthentic to me. I think both characters would feel like it was the wrong shape for the relationship after they both had their epiphanies.

Other Media Considerations

I understand that a lot of people, it's important to have an explicitly-labeled QPR in a show. I do not disagree with this! I think we need WAY more QPRs in media that are explicitly labeled as such and treated as valid. I just don't think that it's right for Charles and Edwin.

I've explained why this is true from a character perspective; but let me also talk about how relationships like theirs are treated.

I'm personally sick of the "bond-beyond-bonds relationship that remains purely platonic." We saw it with Destiel onscreen because of the rancid queerbaiting in Supernatural; we saw it in Johnlock as a direct result of similar, albeit less magnified, queerbaiting.

This is, to me, the exact type of relationship that a QPR between Edwin and Charles would be.

It would be different. I know this. There is no world where DBDA is queerbaiting us; we have a gay MC and tons of queer side characters.

But to me, platonic Payneland being endgame would still feel like a betrayal because that endgame would feel like something adjacent to the endings of other shows that have queerbaited in the past. I feel like a huge appeal of DBDA is that it's beginning to right those wrongs and heal those wounds, and I firmly believe that's one intention of the show. It would feel unkind to the bulk of viewers for them not to end up together.

I think that the show ultimately was going to make them romantic endgame. It just didn't have the time to before getting the axe, which SUCKS.

So yeah. These are my personal thoughts. I hope I've articulated some of the things that a lot of you think.

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"We have literally forever to figure out what the rest means"

Charles has ADHD. He's time-blind. Being a ghost makes it worse. 2 weeks will feel like forever for him.

I'm just saying !!

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Okay fanfic writers, your mission, should you chose to accept it, is a filthy 100 word drabble, for any pairing, to be posted on Thursday, in time for American Thanksgiving.

Ready, set, write!

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I love seeing a meme and being like oh, tumblrs going to love this one

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cracking myself up thinking about the movement towards simplified forms in cave paintings

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my kid has started to write stories and like, no lies, they’re funny as fuck

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"What am I? The answers are Endless, Edwin Payne. Pretty name. 'Payne.'" "I am… Why are you here?" "You're here. I'm everywhere. You're in my realm now, where I see it all. But you only get to leave through the door you came in by."

Donna Preston as Despair of the Endless and George Rexstrew as Edwin Payne in Dead Boy Detectives (2024-), 1x07 - "The Case of the Very Long Stairway"

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having such a normal time about how edwin and charles’ most unimaginable thing is the other one hurting. it’s an expression of deep and abiding love that they would want to prevent the other’s hurt at all costs and that the other’s pain hurts them almost seemingly worse even than their own. it’s such a show of unconditional devotion to a loved one, that i think is rarely shown to such a visceral degree.

and in particular it really gets to me the depth of love that edwin has for charles.

i always come back to the scene on the clifftop. (GIFs by the lovely @mellxncollie ❤️)

edwin looks so pained here, and it looks as if for edwin it’s not even so much pain because charles is saying something that hurts him, it’s that charles is so clearly hurting in even saying this, and it hurts edwin in turn that he can’t help that. that charles should ever have to hurt at all.

and in a moment, he will approach charles with total compassion, crouch down to his level in a parallel to the attic acene and i shan’t hurt you.

edwin has been uncomfortable with displays of emotion before in a “this amount of emotion makes ME uncomfortable, please put it away” way and this is not that. this is “this emotion makes me uncomfortable because the world shouldn’t hurt you like this” and in a way that is about him only to the extent that edwin is probably wishing he could make it so no one had ever hurt charles ever and charles never felt an ounce of pain. and it raises up this massive helplessness that comes up when the world is unfair to your beloved, because there is simply a wrongness to it.

(thinking also about how upset and angry edwin is at the injustice of their deaths, but specifically about charles’s as well, in the butcher shop scene, how insistent he is that the injustice has to matter somehow, otherwise it’s senseless and awful and he can’t bear knowing that not only he himself, but especially charles, was hurt the way he was. and the love in having someone be angry for you, someone fight for you to be important, the fact that maybe no one before edwin had ever been mad on charles’ behalf like that before, the thought of charles suffering hadn’t been something for others to hurt over. but now it is because edwin takes on the role of making sure charles knows he matters.)

the sadness in edwin’s face, in his eyes — heartbreak that he cannot unmake the source of charles’ pain. that charles doesn’t see how unaccountably good he is and how separate he is from his father’s view of him, how he will never be like that man. he’s looking at charles and he just sees this beautiful, brave, resilient, incandescently vibrant, deeply loving person who has been lighting up every day of edwin’s afterlife, despite everything. despite all the things edwin likely perceives as making him intolerable and difficult — edwin’s stiffness, his obstinacy, his melancholy, his prickly and strange demeanor, his million idiosyncrasies and foibles which charles accepts and celebrates as part of him. and the idea that charles should be sad or hurt and edwin not have the capacity to ease it, to assuage it, is unthinkably awful.

and that is so specific to loving someone without condition or end or limitation, in selflessness. and so specific to like. exactly a type of love charles (as an inveterate smoother-over, people pleaser, worrier over other people’s comfort and emotions) needs in order to feel actually loved. edwin doesn’t need him to change his emotion or put it away or temper it (or anything about himself).

edwin just loves charles unconditionally, compassionately, intensely, entirely and i think it’s so beautiful.

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I've seen a number of people worried and concerned about this language on Ao3s current "agree to these terms of service" page. The short version is:

Don't worry. This isn't anything bad. Checking that box just means you forgive them for being US American.

Long version: This text makes perfect sense if you're familiar with the issues around GDPR and in particular the uncertainty about Privacy Shield and SCCs after Schrems II. But I suspect most people aren't, so let's get into it, with the caveat that this is a Eurocentric (and in particular EU centric) view of this.

The basic outline is that Europeans in the EU have a right to privacy under the EU's General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), an EU directive (let's simplify things and call it an EU law) that regulates how various entities, including companies and the government, may acquire, store and process data about you.

The list of what counts as data about you is enormous. It includes things like your name and birthday, but also your email address, your computers IP address, user names, whatever. If an advertiser could want it, it's on the list.

The general rule is that they can't, unless you give explicit permission, or it's for one of a number of enumerated reasons (not all of which are as clear as would be desirable, but that's another topic). You have a right to request a copy of the data, you have a right to force them to delete their data and so on. It's not quite on the level of constitutional rights, but it is a pretty big deal.

In contrast, the US, home of most of the world's internet companies, has no such right at a federal level. If someone has your data, it is fundamentally theirs. American police, FBI, CIA and so on also have far more rights to request your data than the ones in Europe.

So how can an American website provide services to persons in the EU? Well… Honestly, there's an argument to be made that they can't.

US websites can promise in their terms and conditions that they will keep your data as safe as a European site would. In fact, they have to, unless they start specifically excluding Europeans. The EU even provides Standard Contract Clauses (SCCs) that they can use for this.

However, e.g. Facebook's T&Cs can't bind the US government. Facebook can't promise that it'll keep your data as secure as it is in the EU even if they wanted to (which they absolutely don't), because the US government can get to it easily, and EU citizens can't even sue the US government over it.

Despite the importance that US companies have in Europe, this is not a theoretical concern at all. There have been two successive international agreements between the US and the EU about this, and both were struck down by the EU court as being in violation of EU law, in the Schrems I and Schrems II decisions (named after Max Schrems, an Austrian privacy activist who sued in both cases).

A third international agreement is currently being prepared, and in the meantime the previous agreement (known as "Privacy Shield") remains tentatively in place. The problem is that the US government does not want to offer EU citizens equivalent protection as they have under EU law; they don't even want to offer US citizens these protections. They just love spying on foreigners too much. The previous agreements tried to hide that under flowery language, but couldn't actually solve it. It's unclear and in my opinion unlikely that they'll manage to get a version that survives judicial review this time. Max Schrems is waiting.

So what is a site like Ao3 to do? They're arguably not part of the problem, Max Schrems keeps suing Meta, not the OTW, but they are subject to the rules because they process stuff like your email address.

Their solution is this checkbox. You agree that they can process your data even though they're in the US, and they can't guarantee you that the US government won't spy on you in ways that would be illegal for the government of e.g. Belgium. Is that legal under EU law? …probably as legal as fan fiction in general, I suppose, which is to say let's hope nobody sues to try and find out.

But what's important is that nothing changed, just the language. Ao3 has always stored your user name and email address on servers in the US, subject to whatever the FBI, CIA, NSA and FRA may want to do it. They're just making it more clear now.

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edwin payne being a sassy edwardian ghost for one minute straight:

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Ska 101 for DBD fans

Do you wanna add more songs to your Charles playlist that aren't Ghost Town by the Specials? Do you wanna talk about ska bands in your fics but don't know what to use?

Well, listen close motherfuckers.

Source: my Rude Girl mother and British alt upbringing

Jamaican Ska

Ska was actually first invented in the late 50s as an offshoot of R&B mixed with Jamaican calypso and was first adopted by mods and skinheads in the UK. Jamaican ska evolved into rocksteady and reggae by the late 60s

3 Notable bands: The Skatalites, Byron Lee & the Dragonaires, The Wailers

2 tone

Ska hit a revival in the late 70s with the 2 tone movement which fused classic ska with the more punk rock sound that was popular in the UK. This is the movement that Charles is a part of, with both his 2 tone patch and the rasta pin showing the more political part of his interests.

Rude boys are also a mod evolution, hence the jacket, polo, smart shoes and tight trousers. This isn't really surprising as 2 tone hit its peak when racial tensions were super high in the UK and, despite the movement being more black and white focused, it resonated with a lot of the Indian immigrants in the UK at the time.

3 Notable bands: The Specials, Madness, The Selecter

3 Suggested songs for Charles: Tears of a Clown by The (English) Beat, Much Too Young by The Specials, On My Radio by The Selecter

"Oh but Jack, what about-"

Ska Punk

Third wave ska started the year Charles died as ska hit America and this is where ska punk was officially dubbed. While 2 tone did combine rock with ska, third wave added more heavy guitar riffs and cleaner brass sections to make its own sound. This is when ska became more world wide in general with Germany, Australia, Russia, Japan and Latin America all developing their own ska scenes

3 Notable bands (english speaking): Reel Big Fish, No Doubt, the Mighty Mighty Bosstones

3 Suggested songs for Charles: Here in Your Bedroom by Goldfinger, The Science of Selling Yourself Short by Less the Jake, Anger Management by Random Hand

New Tone

We're currently in the 4th wave (also dubbed New Tone). It hard to tell what defines it at the moment as New Tone is currently used to describe any ska sound post 3rd wave (which ended in the early 00s).

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me, vibrating out of my skin : hey can I talk to you about this piece of media real quick? I pinky promise I'll be So Normal about it, like there's no reason to be concerned that this will turn into a three hour long monologue. Like I Prommy that I'm not gonna be a freak about it.

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A continuation on my post about unloved foods, specifically this is my in-depth defense of root beer.

Root Beer isn't inherently gross, it's just one of those weird local flavors that's off-putting to people who didn't grow up with it. We all like different things and also we all tend to like flavors that are similar to what we grew up with. That's okay! But honestly root beer is pretty unique and, in my opinion, delicious.

One of the main complaints against root beer is that it tastes like medicine. Funnily enough, it was originally marketed as medicinal! This is true for most OG sodas actually. Pretty much as soon as carbonated water was invented, people were drinking it to soothe various ailments. A lot of the original soft drinks were actually invented by pharmacists. I just think that root beer is especially cool because the main flavor came from the root bark of sassafras, a common North American shrub. Because it's so widespread and aromatic, all parts of the sassafras plant have been used in food and medicine by many different Native American tribes throughout history and was subsequently picked up and used by European colonists. In the 1960s, some studies indicated that that safrole oil, which is produced by the plant, can cause liver damage. Whether or not this would actually remain true after it had been boiled and added to root beer is unclear, but it was really easy to replicate the flavor, so the sassafras in commercial root beer these days is artificial. Another fun fact about safrole is that it's a precursor in the synthesis of MDMA. None of this information has stopped my childhood habit of eating sassfras leaves right off the shrub whenever I walk past it on a hike. I'm like 85% sure it's safe and also mmmm yummy leafs go crunch.

Another root beer complaint is that it tastes like toothpaste. I think this is probably because another key flavor in most root beer recipes is wintergreen. I'm assuming that the people who think this are the same people who think mint chocolate chip ice cream tastes like toothpaste. I can understand and even respect that some people don't like mint and associate it only with brushing their teeth, but like. Mint is a pretty common flavor. I mean I think it's safe to say that humans have been eating mint flavored stuff for longer than toothpaste has existed... anyway!

Other common flavors in root beer (real or artificial) are caramel, vanilla, black cherry bark, sarsaparilla root, ginger, and many more! There's not one official recipe, and root beer enthusiasts often have strong opinions about different brands. Some root beer is sharper, with more strong aromatic flavors, and others are mild and creamier.

Another thing I think is cool about root beer is that it's foamier than most sodas. This was originally because sassafras is a natural surfactant (and why sassafras is also a common thickening agent in Louisiana Creole cooking.) These days, other plant starches or similar ingredients are added to keep the distinctive foam. Root beer foam > all other soft drink foams. That's why root beer floats kick more ass than like, coke floats.

If you've never had root beer before, imagine if a sweetened herbal tea was turned into a soda, because that's basically what it is. If your first response to that is a cringe, fair enough. That's why lots of people don't like it. If your first response to that is "interesting... I might actually like it, though" then I encourage you to track down a can of root beer today, hard as that might be outside the US and Canada. Next time you see an "ew, root beer tastes like medicine/tooth paste" take, know that there's a reason for that, but also the same could be said for literally any herbal or minty food/drink.

My final take on root beer is that it would be the soda of choice for gnomes. Thank you and good night.