icryatthestartofeverymovie

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great news everyone!! (/heavy sarcasm)

according to my 60 year old mother who knows everything about the world because shes older than me, every single trans woman ever is just a predatory man who’s sick in the head and trying to invade women’s spaces‼️ theyre offensive stereotypes of “rEaL wOMeN”‼️

THIS APPARENTLY INCLUDES TWO OF MY VERY CLOSE PERSONAL IRL FRIENDS.

you heard it here first guys. “any self-respecting feminist” hates trans women

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i will literally never see myself as hot and its literally fine. I'm mid and that's that on that

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Alive(?)

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I think it would really advance society if we admitted that mothers can be just as toxic and abusive if not more than dads and stopped dismissing it as “they gave birth to you”

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"Hold me like water or, Christ, hold me like a knife.” Okay. What if I threw up. what if i bit my arm off. what if i died

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Being mentally ill jn your 20s is not the same as being mentally ill as a teenager. It’s just embarrassing. Everyone got better and I’m still stuck in my mind. Nothing improved, nothing changed.

Why can’t I move on and just be better?

~M 10.10.2022 22:33

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.

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The fact that Everything Everywhere All at Once has the main character see that if she hadn’t gone to America with the man that would be her husband she would’ve lived a glamorous life of fame and fortune and her husband would’ve gone off and gotten very rich on his own rather than living together in an apartment over a laundromat struggling with finances every day and where so many movies would’ve framed that choice to go off together as a mistake, shown their alternative lives as some sort of “see? It wasn’t worth it” and had them “escape” to that “better” universe in the end, it instead all culminates in the line “Just so you know, in another life, I would’ve been really glad to just do laundry and taxes with you” changed my wholeass life

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and now here i am spreading my delusions to the world

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i call this one “nobody likes you when youre 23”

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when I found out my friends have no siblings I always ask isn’t that kind of lonely??? And they are always like idk not really and yeah u can’t miss what you’ve never known I guess but some nights me and my little sister will stay up late even though we both have class tomorrow and we will listen to fast car by Tracy chapman on repeat no talking just us quietly listening and I think that even if I never knew my sister I would still miss her somehow

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Everything Everywhere All At Once is impossible to condense but. your mom loves you. your mom would do anything for you. she is incapable of expressing these things to you in a way that you can truly understand. she doesn’t understand you because she can’t. you can’t understand her either. you know that she would die for you but she can never give you a goddamn compliment or an apology or acknowledgement that maybe you were right all along. you know that she loves you but you don’t trust her not to hurt you if you share all the things you are and want to be and could be. she has always taught you that family is the most important thing, that when everything and everyone else fades, family is all you will have left. nothing feels safer than garlic and choi sum and tomatoes and eggs. you still haven’t told her your new name. the first coming out was awful, you never want to do that again. she drove for five hours to drop off groceries because she knows you have papers due and might not have time to shop. she is finally proud of you after all the stupid shit you did and said when you didn’t think you would live till 20. you know that she blames herself. you don’t think she could’ve done any better but fuck how is anyone is supposed to parent when she did most everything right and still you came oh so close to never seeing a brighter future. she drives you home and as you chat you realize that a few years ago you two could never have had a civil conversation that didn’t devolve into shouting. you realize that there are some things that you will never talk about with her because you don’t want to risk that again. 

you know that she loves you. god, if only she would understand. 

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reading a poem a recipe author wrote about her mother who passed and tearing up………. thank you bread recipe for the small dose of heart and tenderness 🥺💖

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And I didn’t talk to him ever again

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Ahmet Güntan, from “Rome and Romeo,” featured in Eda: An Anthology of Contemporary Turkish Poetry

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—mothers

ijeoma umebinyuo // hyatt moore // class of 2013 by mitski // i, tonya (2017) // ? // gustav klimt // ? // lady bird (2017) // i remain in darkness by annie ernaux