icebot360

[icebot360]

Vasher: Physics teacher

absolutely hates his job, but it pays so he does it anyway , and some how is the best physics teacher you’ll ever have

Vasher: Why the hell am I still doing this? I should be retired, I shouldn’t have to listen to all you idiots. Can any of tell why I‘m doing this? student: Because it pays well?

Vasher: You make an excellent point, so last we left off I had to explain to you idiots why you can‘t just make metal sentient

Cosmere Characters as Teachers

As requested by @little-cute-pink-horrible-being :)

If Cosmere characters were teachers, what would they teach & what would it be like?

1. Jasnah: History teacher

Let's just say that she has, uh, high expectations of her students.

Jasnah: Anyone can memorize facts and dates. Jasnah: You all will do that, of course, but you will also learn to draw conclusions from those facts, track historical trends, and maybe, if you work hard, you can come up with a theory of your very own. Bravest student: Uh, miss? We are seven. Jasnah: I do not tolerate excuses.

2. Hammond: Philosophy Professor

He has a hardcore group of students who are huge fans of his.

Student 1: Hey, you're in Professor Hammond's class? Student 2: Yeah. Student 1: Isn't he the guy who wrote that book So What if the Poor are Genetically Destined to be Poor? Revolution is Still the Answer? Student 2: That's him. Student 1: And that's why your an anarchist now, huh? Student 2: Listen, he's pretty persuasive.

3. Elend: Political Science Professor

Elend, a Political Science professor at a university, is the sort of teacher who assigns a LOT of reading.

Elend: Remember: politics is for people. Even when the people you serve suck. A lot. Student: You...sound like you're talking from experience? Elend: You have no idea.

4. Shallan: Art Professor

She mainly teaches drawing and painting classes.

Shallan: You all need to decide what your art means to you. Shallan: Whether it be capturing a moment or representing a person's essence or seeing into realms not normally discernable to human eyes--as long as it's art from your soul, it will be right. Student: What, uh, was that last part? Shallan: Art should be from your soul? Student: N-No, the part before that? Shallan: Anyway, everyone start drawing!

5. Painter: Also an Art Professor

I mean, it's literally his name.

Painter: The key to art is repetition. Painter: When a Nightmare is staring down at you, you don't want to be hesitating over what to draw! Student: Professor Nikaro, please, we've been drawing bamboo for a week! Painter: ...I'm not sure what the issue is?

6. Sigzil: Science teacher

Sigzil is one of those general science teachers you get in middle school.

Sigzil: Remember: the key to science is...? Students, as a chorus: Writing things down! Sigzil: That's right! Sigzil: Now let's see what's the heaviest thing we can stick to the wall using glue--last year we managed to stick me to the wall for a couple seconds! Students: [cheering] Sigzil: ...I'm better at this than I would have expected.

7. Wayne: Theater Teacher

Wayne teaches theatre at a high school.

Wayne: Acting is all about not acting. Wayne: You gotta just be the person. Wayne: Understand their past, embody their present... Student: ...wear their hat? Wayne: Exactly!

8. Kaladin: Also a Theatre Teacher

Look me in the eyes and tell me that Kaladin doesn't understand drama.

Kaladin: [talking to an school administrator off to the side while the class watches] And you can tell the school board that the next time they want to cut funding to the arts, I will be there. Kaladin: I will be there at every meeting where even a word of funding reduction is breathed. Kaladin: I will haunt those meetings, carrying pictures of my kids doing their plays and being happy. Kaladin: And I will make them look me in the eyes if they dare to vote to take that away! New student, hesitantly: Performance art? Student: Nah, he always talks that way.

9. Sarene: English teacher

If only because I don't think they have dedicated fencing professors at most places.

Sarene: English is not simply about reading books--it is about learning to think and interpret information. Sarene: You can take the skills you learn in this class and apply them very widely: to understand the news, to read between the lines of what a person says to you, to craft effective rhetoric to get your own way. Sarene: Read everything. Sarene: Remember: you cannot defeat an enemy unless you understand your enemy. Student: ...enemy? Sarene: Don't worry: you'll have enemies when you're older. Student: Yay?

10. Navani: Engineering

Navani would be an engineering professor at a college.

Navani: Your job, students, is to get this ball through that window high up on the wall. You can do it any way you want. Student: I'm immediately seeing: trebuchet. Navani [nodding sagely]: Go with your heart.

11. Pattern: Math teacher

...Listen, I'm not saying he's a good math teacher.

Student: [staring gloomily at their test] Friend: That bad, huh? Student: Mr. Pattern wrote "Mmmm delicious lies" all over it! Friend: So...you failed? Student: Yeah...

12. Raboniel: Chemistry Teacher

She may seem strict, but she actually quite likes kids.

Raboniel: ...And that, students, is how you build a very effective chemical bomb. Students: ... Raboniel: Any questions? Bravest student: Uh, miss? We are seven. Raboniel: So...basically adults, right? Wait, how fast do humans age again? Teacher's aide: [whispering frantically] Raboniel: ...I may have made an error.

[icebot360]

Happiness Will Come To You.

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i hauve a cold

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Girl Tintin

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Stormlight always has a certain kind of epigraph that can only be described as a group chat of the gods'. Every new excerpt there's always some fucking drama going on. Predominantly Hoid begging everyone to help him stop the God of Hatred from killing everyone, and everyone else telling him

"Why should I help you? He's under house arrest, and besides, everyone he killed deserved it anyway."

Meanwhile, Sazed is the new guy in the chat when he replaced two of the previous members following their horrific divorce and is the only one who genuinely wants to help Hoid out (first-hand experience facing an omnicidal god), but unfortunately, he hasn't quite figured out how to turn off the parental controls on his system despite arguably having the best set up and Bavadin keeps trying to hack it through her bazillion proxies.

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Der Prinz aus "Drei Nüsse für Aschenbrödel" ist bi und Aschenbrödel ist nichtbinär. And I will die on that hill

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The 13th century Swedish peasant boy who's crashing on my couch keeps eating my leftover General Tso's. I always tell him he can order his own but he's all "oh no, just wonton soup is fine with me, it reminds me of winters at home by the fire" but when I open the fridge the next day, what do I see? Not my leftovers! I don't even think they had wontons in medieval Sweden.

[icebot360]

what, you’re telling tumblr there is a transgirl lesbian milf in mtg and didn’t expect her to win this? Honestly embarrassing

We Have A Winner!

Congratulations to Alesha, Who Smiles at Death! You are officially tumblr's favorite Magic: The Gathering card!

[icebot360]

neh was ist diese scheiße den aber wirklich, wer kam auf den blödsinn?

[icebot360]

ehhhh Entschuldigung? Was für Scheiße ist das denn?? Wie kann jemand so hoch den eigenen Arsch hoch gekrochen sein, dass er glaubt so etwas sagen zu können?

fellow germans, i don't know what to say anymore, was ist denn hier los

[icebot360]

/gen I would have to get a frame but if I had one then yes absolutely

trans

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honestly this was life changing, beautiful mastery of the written word, and great use of negative space. I might just print it out and frame it

trans

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not my circus, not my monkeys

while in college you had a lab accident that put you in a month long coma, After waking you realize you had some sort of clairvoyance. You can see ages, ailments, mental states and races of other people. Everything was fine until you came across a girl whose race said elf and was 573 years old

[icebot360]

Things we can ascertain from this as being absolutely and totally canon:

Teysa Karlov collects paintings of other pale black-haired women (Cunt Knows Cunt)

Her collection likely focuses on women from other planes, likely even before planeswalkers became common knowledge.

There is/was a thriving interplanar art trade that we never heard about.

Liliana, Death's Majesty, was an in-universe painting that Liliana sat for.

Since they didn't really have time for that in the original story, it must have been on a previous visit (likely to confirm Amonkhet was Razaketh's home plane)

This means that Teysa Karlov had a painting of Liliana Vess in her collection at the time of War of the Spark.

Upon realizing she had a painting of Nicol Bolas's top general, she moved it to a place of prominence on the grand stair because that's a real fucking power move.

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just to clarify. because this is the piss on the poor website who needs nuance spelled out for them like babies and ive gotten more than one pissy anon about it. my commentary on this post is not the most well thought out and edited and re-written opinion nor am i saying that Mangione is completely innocent and is being falsely accused/framed by the NYPD.

my main points were that a) people need to read media publications about this case critically (which is true of all media, not just this case), b) to not immediately martyr him as the shooter until he's had a fair trial, and c) that the nypd sucks and is corrupt as hell and i would not be surprised if they planted evidence, regardless of mangione's actual innocence or guilt.

yes, he very well could be guilty. that would not shock me based on what i've seen. however. he deserves a fair and unbiased trial regardless. stop jumping down my throat about me being a crazy conspiracy theorist about his innocence.

[icebot360]

thank you! This please, I am christian and do you want to know why? Because its CORE tenants are mutual aid and acceptance! This sht isn’t christianity, hatred isn’t christianity, bigotry isn’t christianity!

guys dont hate christians for this they aint christians they're nazis

[icebot360]

I was going to do a Lancer one, but this is pretty much spot on what I was going to say

Armored Core: you're a cog in the death machine of capitalism and freedom lies in the hands of those strong enough jam the gears and break the apparatus. you should def use the Baby Flayer 9000 to achieve that goal btw

Gundam: war is fucked man, so much senselss death and killing all in the name of lofty ideals. anyway we'll be rolling out the orphan thresher as soon as next quarter