icarus-e4e5nf3 - Tumblr blog

icarus-e4e5nf3 · 19 days ago

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Little white rabbit for my friend @bbeiex!!

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icarus-e4e5nf3 · 22 days ago

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Can you find a way to help him kill himself?

No idea who you refering to but old age, on a bed, next to someone he loves.

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icarus-e4e5nf3 · 22 days ago

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#prince of blood

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icarus-e4e5nf3 · 22 days ago

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Drown in that reflection

#homestuck #dirk strider #dave strider #stridercest #dirkdave

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icarus-e4e5nf3 · 22 days ago

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#homestuck #dave strider

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icarus-e4e5nf3 · 22 days ago

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what motivates you? typical question i know but. im struggling alot man.

i looked up to you for nearly a decade your work always amazed me and, as i grew up i felt like i really want to be an amazing artist like that. i feel like with mental illness really taking over my life i dont know if im as capable as i expected myself to be for all those years. i dont have the motivation i used to..

its honestly a kind of personal question so you dont got to answer it if you dont want to, but is there anything in particular motivating you or giving you the drive to draw? for your life, for yourself, what makes it important to you?

euhhhhhh ah fuck well thank you im very flattered and im sorry that youre going thru it and also for my answer in advance i dont want to disappoint i want to give this a solid going over but im not a good source of advice on this as firsly i also have not improved at a rate commensurate with work done or time passed and secondly following the completion of perhaps my most agitated commission evar i currently have no motivation or it seems ability to draw at all!!!! and thirdly i dont think ill be able to properly express my pointz. anyway see motivations below

maybe this isnt a good demonstration as they cant be so easily separated sometimes one leads to another and or they overlap but yeah. actual enjoyment plays a bigger role in the process overall but when it comes to sitting down at the computer im not normally thinking 'oo yippee what fun ill have doing a piccie today!' its like a byproduct of the other shit

i feel U though i dont think ive made overall meaningful progress since high school LOOOOLLLL i just make the same mistakes in like a more elaborate way now i think

as for the mental health thing am.also right there with you but its like at thispoint im too old to kill myself i know im going to be a sadcunt for the rest of my life as its my nature👍 i can and do wallow but i also have to try make some shit i am proud of. and have a life that is manageable. PLUS its plenty of cunts out there doing shit work and getting mad congratulations for it i may as well try be one of those cunts. why would i think im above that!? maybe i was running off spite originally but now i realise we're all just ankle deep in the shit making nothing but detritus....together </3 <3 and tbh im still kind of running off spite ROFL

again disclaimer not a good source here but i think beyond breaking down why you want to make art you have two options

if youre not getting paid (michael jordan voice) stop it. feels weird if youve made being a artist part of your identity or whatever but its fine you can always come back to it when inspo strikes. or dont! who gives a fuck....like not even in a negative way. no one in thewhole world gives as much of a fuck about what you make as you do. have a break

switch up the medium.....get into a different practice...as opposed to drawing fanart, characters etc....like... sew a garment style a wig make a shitty air dry clay sculpture. make a wooden box. get into soldering. do some découpage, shit of this nature. maybe not even art just do some shit thats completely pointless and you dont show anyone do you get me. this is refreshing. AND/OR get into some shit that has a discrete solution/end point like electronics or programming. this is satisfying. and again you can come back to whatever you were doing in the first place, perhaps with some different knowledge or skillz this time. or, again, dont!

theres no simple answer! idk what youre dealing with but for me its like ok youre gonna have a shit time either way dont worry about productivity unless its affecting your income go for a walk fill the hole(s) in your life with some new obsession draw that 1million times and dont post it clean your room live in filth for months re-learn blender for like the 6th time dont draw for weeks draw nothing but crap for weeks do an O.K. job of a cosplay go insane from being unemployed go insane from being employed get really stressed out on holiday do some stupid shit to your shoes again stop drinking start drinking get sick move house the art will be made when it wants to be (i know this is a lame way to look at it, such is life etc) and sometimes its shit sometimes it isnt sometimes its fun sometimes its not. its whatever. theres always time to make something that doesnt suck but then again theres not! you might die tomorrow! its very fraught but you also have to laugh. there's still so many points to be expressed!!!! if only you could execute them properly. ah well. youll get around to it. or you wont. who cares :P

whatever youre going thru i know its lame of me to say and i know sometimes its tempting but you mustnt lose contact with your friends and family

art often not real (in a way that matters)

unrealised potential not real (nothing counts til you make it)

time wasted not real (until themoment b4 your death and then it doesnt matter)

i dont mean to be dismissive im trying to like honestly express my shit and i hope it helps even if by reading you realise you like just completely disagree with this perspective and reckon im a dumbcunt for it i wish you the best of luck! keep up the good work! or the bad work! or dont keep up the work! its all G. unforch you do have to keep going though. have a good one brother

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icarus-e4e5nf3 · 23 days ago

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You can't win without sacrifices