i-needserotonin

[i-needserotonin]

But this is the way they've always treated Brazilian art, and especially Brazilian music. Good to prop them up, good to be sampled and imitated by their artists, good to import innovation and experimentation so they can come up with a thousand more accolades to give their own - but none of that ever means respect or acknowledgement. None of that ever means a seat at the table. Brazilian art goes in and out through the backdoor.

[i-needserotonin]

please i need more cute domestic (but still toxic) evervale in an au where they stayed together I'm begging you

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Victor wouldn't realize he had feelings for Eli because what he considers romantic would be Angie, and Eli wouldn't realize because he's, well, Eli

[i-needserotonin]

victor looks like eli's mother - but not in the obvious ways. they don't share hair or eye colour and if somebody put their pictures next to each other, they probably wouldn't be able to notice any similarities. but eli does notice them. in fact eli sees far too many.

both victor and eli's mom have moles in the same places. both of them get dimples when they smile, and both have thin lips. thier brows furrow in the same way, and both of them have long eyelashes. both have high cheekbones, and the shapes of their jaws and noses are almost identical. both have long necks. thier nails have the same shape.

and it drives eliot insane, how victor and his mother can look so similar, only for victor to be able to see the devil inside him just as easily as his father once could.

[i-needserotonin]

just some eli ever rant

what’s so depressing and fucked up about Eli is that his abuser (his father) won

his father spent years abusing an innocent child by calling him a monster, and Eli spent the rest of his life desperately trying to prove he wasn't one. he lived by those words, shaped by them, warped by them his entire life

then finally, after all that, he finds his first real connection, his only ''friend'', and that friend calls him a monster too?? (even before he really did monstruous deeds)

and we're all supposed to be mad he went on a killing spree? nah. good for him jfc, his ''best friend'' just turned into someone he didn't recognize anymore and killed his girlfriend, so why wouldn't he think he is 'special' since his powers cannot hurt anyone but can serve to get rid of those who could potentially harm others (I DONT CONDONE HIS ACTIONS, but i can see from where he's coming from, especially given his religious trauma and abusive childhood) HIS BEST FRIEND JUST HURT HIM LIKE HIS FATHER DID TOO

the more I reread some parts, the more I realize Vic never cared about Eli the way Eli cared about him

to Eli, Vic was his first and only friend, the first person who really mattered but to Vic? Eli was just someone he wanted to beat. a rival he needed to conquer to prove he was better

idk but it makes me so sad and unlike Victor, he had no one by his side. EVER. everyone he cared about died or betrayed him (ahem Vic, bc in reality, who really betrayed who huh my dearest unreliable narrator Victor Vale) like, also, why no one talks about the fact that Serena sexually abused him by forcing him into being intimate with her through her powers?? i won't even go into details that Haverty (or what's the name of that dipshit) did to him bc that part was too triggering for me to even read lol anyway justice for Eli Ever he just wanted to be saved

[i-needserotonin]

my personal headcanon is that eli is OBSESSED with superhero comics. and not in the "he just follows few series really closely" way.

but in a "he knows the relase date of every comic he ever read or wants to read" way. in a "he knows the biography of every author that has ever worked on superman" way. in a "knows the birthday of every mother of every artist that has ever worked on spiderman" way.

he's totally crazy about it. he hides it from everyone.

[i-needserotonin]

sorry i said gay when you and your buddy had a massive falling out and tried to kill each other. it just kinda looked like that.

[i-needserotonin]

happy villains series publication day to those who celebrate! 🎉

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you would expect a guy who was sent to hell to get better and learn his lesson, unfortunately it won't work with Eli Ever, he's probably in some void and will wake up and be even worse

[i-needserotonin]

have you read Babel by RF Kuang?

No, but I really want to read it! it's been on my list for a while 😭

[i-needserotonin]

Eli Ever. They could never make me hate you.

[i-needserotonin]

Was Eli in love with Serena, or was it indeed her ability that made it so?

He acknowledges several times that Serena is appealing and, at one point, even compares his feelings for her to those he felt for Angie while he was dating her, but he keeps backtracking as well. He does conclude he should be trying to and wanting to kill her, but also finds her ability useful in his endeavours.

Is he trying to convince himself he doesn't like her because of his beliefs regarding EOs, although he truly does somewhat?

Otherwise, I'm not sure what to believe regarding the implications of their very first encounter. He never mentions it after the fact, either, and he does do things willingly for her before and after.

If she does elicit sentiments from people after all, wouldn't that mean she never interacted with anybody after her near death? Every single interaction she had after the experience was certainly not real, and everything people did concerning her was against their will?

Frankly, I'm not sure what anybody would've or should've done in her situation.

I would really appreciate hearing some viewpoints on this particular topic.

[i-needserotonin]

Angie deserved better than both of them

[i-needserotonin]

Was Eli in love with Serena, or was it indeed her ability that made it so?

He acknowledges several times that Serena is appealing and, at one point, even compares his feelings for her to those he felt for Angie while he was dating her, but he keeps backtracking as well. He does conclude he should be trying to and wanting to kill her, but also finds her ability useful in his endeavours.

Is he trying to convince himself he doesn't like her because of his beliefs regarding EOs, although he truly does somewhat?

Otherwise, I'm not sure what to believe regarding the implications of their very first encounter. He never mentions it after the fact, either, and he does do things willingly for her before and after.

If she does elicit sentiments from people after all, wouldn't that mean she never interacted with anybody after her near death? Every single interaction she had after the experience was certainly not real, and everything people did concerning her was against their will?

Frankly, I'm not sure what anybody would've or should've done in her situation.

I would really appreciate hearing some viewpoints on this particular topic.

[i-needserotonin]

Was Eli in love with Serena, or was it indeed her ability that made it so?

He acknowledges several times that Serena is appealing and, at one point, even compares his feelings for her to those he felt for Angie while he was dating her, but he keeps backtracking as well. He does conclude he should be trying to and wanting to kill her, but also finds her ability useful in his endeavours.

Is he trying to convince himself he doesn't like her because of his beliefs regarding EOs, although he truly does somewhat?

Otherwise, I'm not sure what to believe regarding the implications of their very first encounter. He never mentions it after the fact, either, and he does do things willingly for her before and after.

If she does elicit sentiments from people after all, wouldn't that mean she never interacted with anybody after her near death? Every single interaction she had after the experience was certainly not real, and everything people did concerning her was against their will?

Frankly, I'm not sure what anybody would've or should've done in her situation.

I would really appreciate hearing some viewpoints on this particular topic.

[i-needserotonin]

Oh yes! my HC or interpretation of Eli, includes him being in some way neurodivergent, I think it's an interesting way to analyze his behavior especially in how he seems to describe a lack of emotional connection in most of his life which could be aggravated by the abuse he suffered in childhood, and how the religious aspect of his life, also affects his worldview and behavior, as well as morals, etc.

and also not saying that the fact that he is neurodivergent is what made him a serial killer, but I would say that it could be counted as one of the factors that led to what he became.

Yall might have to bare with me on this one I'm not great at articulating my thoughts and although I'm neurodivergent I really don't have the proper terms to explain myself here

But like

Okay so it's very obvious that Eli is not neurotypical. I don't want to really get into specific diagnoses because I very much do not want to fall into the serial killer = mental disorder trope. It's a shitty trope and very harmful when handled poorly, especially with Cluster B personalities. Under no circumstances am I saying that Eli's mental condition is the cause of him being a serial killer. I am in fact trying to say the opposite.

TW for discussion of abuse and ableism

Basically, the crux of my argument lies with Eli's flashbacks in Vengeful, specifically when it comes to his father.

Eli mentions that the abuse started when he was around 9 years old because his father saw "the devil" in his eyes.

Eli's age at the time is very important. 9 years old. A literal child. Eli has done nothing wrong at this point aside from exist, and yet his father sees something wrong with him. It's possible that it was intended for Eli to have truly had some "evil" inside of him from the beginning, but it is far far more likely that Eli's father saw some kind of behavior out of the norm (we see that Eli was not a very expressive child. He had to learn all of those behaviors later on) and concluded that it hinted at some "hidden evil". We see those ideas reflected in our own society all the time, with apathy or lack of expression in face or vocal tone can be misconstrued or depicted as evil or heartless.

Eli was never evil or a bad kid. He was 9 years old. There was no devil in his eyes, he simply expressed himself in a way that was considered abnormal.

There's more I could say on this but I've run out of brain power. If anyone has any insight or ways they relate to Eli that they're comfortable talking about or even criticisms, I'm very open to discussion.

[i-needserotonin]

"you can't ship those characters they tried to kill each other!" sounds like someone can't appreciate the inherent eroticism of violence 🙄