honestlyjasmineblog-blog

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Broken but bright

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I’ll get there.

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Let your demons flow.

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““One day, she realized that life was too short to worry about what might happen, so she decided to live in the moment and follow her heart as best as she could.””

— Ann Taylor (via naturaekos)

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Yosemite Firefall [1280x1919] [OC] - real_arnog

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Creating space for emotion to flow.

I’d been fighting this feeling for a while now. I knew it was there, but I hadn’t taken some real time to sit with it and listen to what it was telling me.

I’d read something the other month about “If you still talk about it, you still care about it” and that really spoke to me. It made me realise what I still needed to heal.

The past few weeks this particular thing has been bubbling away. It’s been hot topic of my conversations and at the forefront of my mind in terms of thoughts.

I thought I was in control of it (well, I knew I wasn’t, and that’s what some of my conversations had been about) but I hadn’t allowed it to truly speak to me.

When we distract our minds with other things - people, tv, phones, social media, work, whatever it is we use to take us away from the depths of our mind, we are not allowing our true soul to speak. We’re telling it to be quiet and lock itself away in a room.

This way, it gets angry, and aggressive. And it comes back stronger. And then we have to find more strength to put it back in that room. Each time, it wears us out that little bit more. Over, and over, again.

All the while thinking we have control over it. When we really do not.

Tonight, I started to let it speak. I began looking into tantra healing online, I listened to people speak. Something sparked. 

This started a chain of events which led me to sitting down and letting my true thoughts flow. I sat with the deep stuff and allowed it to venture out of my throat.

I began talking. Just thoughts, and feelings, coming out of my mouth as they arose. Some may think it’s silly. For me it’s therapy.

As I talked, I cried, as I cried, my fists curled, as my fists curled, I breathed, as I breathed, I moved, as I moved, I cried. 

It’s so important to embrace this ALL. The upset, the anger, the memories, the pain, the confusion, all of it. Let it flow out of your body and throat and you will shift that energy.

I needed tonight. I needed to give my emotion a chance to speak to me. I was holding it in my body and it was showing up in different ways. But every time I let it speak with utter truth, I allow some of the energy held around this subject shift. 

A portion of the problem leaves, it dissolves, it flies away. And I feel lighter.

That’s taking control. It’s having the courage to listen to your deepest darkest thoughts, verbally and physically releasing them. Listening to them and working out what you need to do with them from here.

I finished my healing session with a 3 set card pull.

Happiness - this emotion is here to let us know we’re on track. When you’re not feeling it, in a particular area of your life, there’s work to be done. This was my current phase - tick, correct. 

Then came freedom - the fact that we have complete control over creating our reality. And that I should not be making decisions based on anyone else's expectations. Something which is extremely prominent in the subject I was healing from. Doing things for other people. Only. Not honoring myself with what I want, but doing things based on what other people expect from me. Being passive, confused, pressured, ignored, used. This card came to me to highlight that I need to stand my ground with the decisions I make, because they determine my reality. And if I’m sat here wanting to manifest a different reality than my past, I must base my decisions on that - not the needs of others.

And then I pulled patience. Having the awareness that I need not rush. That will only lead me to the wrong thing. Without allowing myself to fully heal, I will never be able to find what I am truly looking for. I will simply repeat old patterns.

Tonight I became a little more concious yet again.

Always awakening. 

I urge you to find that courage and allow your demons to speak. It’s scary but you feel a whole lot lighter and you’re one step closer to emotional freedom.

<3