home-and-fertile-land

[home-and-fertile-land]

Ok, “it’s ok if your kink isn’t my kink” or however that fandom saying my mom likes goes, but Tumblr. I thought you were a Gilead-based site. Why are you showing me that bonkers slide from a sex ed class, but with a couple discussing drug-assisted kink in the reblogs? 

[home-and-fertile-land]

Huh, okay. 6/10, it’s still not Canada.

North American countries, rated totally unbiasedly

Canada: Ok, I guess. I like the snow and the flag and the being where I was born and all. Unfortunately, we’re all going to slowly die out because we’re too pearl-clutchy to let teenagers be surrogates. 7/10.

Gilead: I… guess these guys aren’t going to die out any time soon? Good job on that. Lots of points taken off for the coup and the bombing Cascadia and that creepy Handmaid shit. 2/10.

Deseret: Okay, I suppose. If I lived here I’d probably be engaged already and on my way to getting married and having babies, which is better than my current state of being. Unfortunately I’m an atheist, so I’m not super into that Mormonism thing. 5/10.

Mexico: Man, I get it, humans are in a population downspiral, but no abortion? Even in the case of “the baby is Literally not going to live to breathe”? That’s just cruel. Also you’re in the hottest ass-parts of the continent, so points off for that. 4/10.

Cascadia: If I lived here I could be having a baby already and be setting myself up for free college, but I don’t. The country’s a pretty sweet deal for teenagers all around, really. 11/10, totally not biased, see post title.

[home-and-fertile-land]

Wow, what the fuck. Last time I checked the age of consent in my province was 16, and therefore minors could legally fuck. I could fuck! If I had a boyfriend. Unfortunately all my male classmates are idiots and my parents barely want me dating yet. 

oh hey look what i found, it’s the presentation from health class last year

“ah yes, minors. we all know that minors never have sex. particularly not with each other. truly, telling minors that they can’t consent will cause them to take the rest of what we say seriously.”

[home-and-fertile-land]

North American countries, rated totally unbiasedly

Canada: Ok, I guess. I like the snow and the flag and the being where I was born and all. Unfortunately, we’re all going to slowly die out because we’re too pearl-clutchy to let teenagers be surrogates. 7/10.

Gilead: I... guess these guys aren’t going to die out any time soon? Good job on that. Lots of points taken off for the coup and the bombing Cascadia and that creepy Handmaid shit. 2/10.

Deseret: Okay, I suppose. If I lived here I’d probably be engaged already and on my way to getting married and having babies, which is better than my current state of being. Unfortunately I’m an atheist, so I’m not super into that Mormonism thing. 5/10.

Mexico: Man, I get it, humans are in a population downspiral, but no abortion? Even in the case of “the baby is Literally not going to live to breathe”? That’s just cruel. Also you’re in the hottest ass-parts of the continent, so points off for that. 4/10.

Cascadia: If I lived here I could be having a baby already and be setting myself up for free college, but I don’t. The country’s a pretty sweet deal for teenagers all around, really. 11/10, totally not biased, see post title.