hogwashatthedisco

[hogwashatthedisco]

“if they wanted to they would” has been helping me get over my attachment issues because it turns out no one actually wants to

[hogwashatthedisco]

My mind simply can't process that someone could love me for just existing without providing some sort of use

[hogwashatthedisco]

physically sick over the fact that. In the game’s canon Viktor is doing whatever he can to get rid of his emotions and humanity. and it’s what him and Jayce clash over most. its the center of their entire conflict

but in arcane it’s torn away from him against his will because of Jayce. Because Jayce didn’t care what Viktor became as long as he got his partner back. Hello. Can anyone hear me

[hogwashatthedisco]

Please, spread this for those who might need it right now

U.S. suicide hotline: call or text 988 (available 24 hours)

U.S. trans lifeline: (877) 565-8860 (when you call, you’ll speak to a trans/nonbinary peer operator. full anonymity and confidentiality)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – provides 24/7 confidential support and referrals for individuals and families facing mental health and substance use disorders, including panic attacks and anxiety.

LGBT National Help Center: (888) 843-4564

Trevor Project: Call (866) 488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat online.

Take care of yourself and each other. Please stay safe ♡

[hogwashatthedisco]

normalize saying thank you to the people that help you even in the smallest matter.

[hogwashatthedisco]

[hogwashatthedisco]

find someone who makes “being known” less of a mortifying ordeal and instead part of the reward of being loved

[hogwashatthedisco]

me doing normal human activities: is this allowed? is this allowed? am i allowed to do this? is this allowed? i don’t want to get in trouble can i do this is this allowed?

[hogwashatthedisco]

Cillian Murphy | *thud*

[hogwashatthedisco]

[hogwashatthedisco]

For several years, Viktor’s leg caught my eye—specifically, I was searching for an official diagnosis and struggling to find something that fit him. After years of speculating, I believe I've found his condition's proper diagnosis and name.

Viktor has a rare and severe case of femoral anteversion in his right leg.

What exactly is femoral anteversion? It is a condition in which the femur rotates, causing the knees and feet to face inward rather than forward. This can impact one or both legs. This condition usually resolves on its own, but more severe cases require medical intervention such as leg braces, therapy, and surgery in more extreme instances—however, this condition is treatable.

This condition impacts children, typically the result of trauma, fetal development, or genetics. Viktor was likely born with this, which would propose that he’s either genetically predisposed to it or the result of a tough pregnancy.

This small scene is an excellent example. It’s only several seconds long, but here we can see that his leg is rotated inward, and he corrects it to face forward—which pains him as he visibly winces—all while Jayce speaks.

It’s noticeable when he’s a kid. You can see how his leg twists and faces inward and how his foot catches on the heel of his other foot, which causes him to trip. In episode 8, while he runs on the dock, he almost trips from this issue again before catching himself and sprinting. Viktor also has an in-toe gait; his step curves as he walks, while his other leg does not.

His leg brace, which we see in Act 2, serves one primary purpose: to force the leg to rotate and face the proper direction. However, at this stage, his condition has been left untreated for so long that it is progressing and showing a drastic impact on his entire body that the leg brace will not fix. It also makes mobility even more challenging for him, with difficulty bending and extending his leg.

This condition can throw the entire body out of whack if left untreated. It can cause pelvic issues, osteoarthritis, spinal decompensation, labral and chondral damage, hamstring-originated tendinopathy, and even weakening of the abdominal muscles, as well as a wide range of spinal problems. The feet, hips, and back are significant body parts that work together; if one is bad, the rest will suffer.

Viktor would require a femoral derotation osteotomy; however, given the severity of his condition and how other parts of his body are now significantly impacted--such as his pelvis and spine, we now have more complications on our hands and that's not even touching on his unnamed lung disease.

There's still so much I could discuss here, and perhaps later, after work; I have a handful of notes I've taken about this and how it all just ties together for Viktor, and honestly, it has been really fun to look at and analyze.

[hogwashatthedisco]

tma’s a horror podcast but sometimes it’s just like: but don’t you ever want to just throw yourself out the window to feel yourself fall? don’t you want to bury yourself in the earth and feel the weight of everything pressing down on you? dont you want to just disappear mysteriously and never speak to anyone again? don’t you want to run fast through the night with sharp teeth, to just lose control? don’t you just want to lose yourself? don’t you want to shed your skin, your name, don’t you want to remake your body into something unrecognizable? don’t you hate the sun? don’t you want to know everything? don’t you want to burn? to know and be known? to be fully consumed by what loves you? and i’m like 🤔

[hogwashatthedisco]

Northern downpour called. yeah. uh huh. it sends its love. not that you'd care

[hogwashatthedisco]

- cherry wine is about domestic abuse. it’s now called a cute proposal song.

- too sweet is about seizing the day and ignoring healthy habits in favor of having more fun with unhealthy ones. he’s actively critical of himself in the song. it’s now called a song about thinking you’re superior for drinking black coffee.

- take me to church is about worship as a metaphor for sex. it’s called a religious song.

- eat your young is a song about war and political greed. it’s called a song about sex.

- now, the strongly political message of nobody’s soldier is being ignored in favor of calling it a metaphor for hozier’s relationship with his fans.

when are we going to stop simplifying hozier’s music down to cute little cottagecore bogman forest music? maybe you dont want to hear this but i don’t care. quit listening to hozier for the aesthetic. there’s a reason why empire now, foreigner’s god, butchered tongue, etc. songs with unignorable political messages are among his least popular songs.

[hogwashatthedisco]

[hogwashatthedisco]

I wanna be nestled into someone and sleepily cuddling them so bad u don’t even know

[hogwashatthedisco]

what part of “do not spend money” do i not understand