hippypieceofshit

[hippypieceofshit]

[hippypieceofshit]

My Debit Card: Wilful ignorance is not a valid strategy for financial management.

Me: shush capitalism plastic your job is to cause bread not get ideas above your station

[hippypieceofshit]

Anubis & Horus spotted having tea in Cairo, 2006.

[hippypieceofshit]

[Scene: a nervous-looking older man meets with a millennial in a darkened alley.]

Millennial: what's the target?

Man: I don't know if I want to do this.

Millennial: people don't come to us until they've made up their minds.

Man: Alright. Styrofoam cups.

Millennial: Six months and they're gone.

Man: Can millennials really kill styrofoam cups?

Millennial: we can kill anything, but not cheaply.

Man: I can pay. I work for a plasti-

Millennial: I don't need to know and frankly I don't care. One of us will deliver a routing number to a Zurich account. Two billion euros, then we start.

Man: Al..alright.

Millennial: It will be your last chance to reconsider. Once the money is processed you'll have no contact with us again.

Man: I understand. It has to be done.

Millennial: then it's sealed. The cups will join chain restaurants and diamonds in the void.

Man: Thank..thank you.

Millennial: We don't require thanks. Participation is its own trophy.

[hippypieceofshit]

[hippypieceofshit]

A healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows open. Plenty of air is circulating and no one feels trapped. Relationships thrive in this environment. Keep your doors and windows open. If this person is meant to be in your life, all the open doors and windows in the world won’t make them leave.

[hippypieceofshit]

me: [vibrating slightly because I had too much caffeine] everything in the world is my fault

[hippypieceofshit]

Me in 5th grade:I will never smoke or drink or do any drugs ever

Me now: I probably wouldn't do meth

[hippypieceofshit]

Me: why am I so tired and weak all the time?

Me: *eats nothing of nutritional value*

Me: *has crazy irregular sleep schedule*

Me: *never exercises ever*

Me: I just don't get it

[hippypieceofshit]

Cute and buff and will probably fight you🌸💪🏻

[hippypieceofshit]

[hippypieceofshit]

touché rednecks

[hippypieceofshit]

The term “Hooked Up” is so broad, like did you kiss or did you do anal?

[hippypieceofshit]

it is

I wonder if fashion is just a practical joke by designers to see what ridiculous stuff rich people will buy to seem “trendy”

[hippypieceofshit]

Men cause so much pain, so much fucking pain to their mothers to their sisters to their children to their wives and they’re oblivious, they’re absoutely oblivious to how much they have negatively impacted and ruined each woman’s life individually in the household.

[hippypieceofshit]

It is the heat rather than the humidity.

Buzzfeed is the latest national news site to report on what residents of Arizona cannot avoid — a hellscape second in the Inner Solar System only to the surface of Venus in parched, inhospitable real estate.

It’s all literally just melting.

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Phroyd