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It may be a side effect of having worked in a workshop but I think an appliance like a washing machine should come with a bright red e-stop button

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I do think it's really funny that Sam has this reputation for being a madman who tortures and humiliates his friends for fun and profit but then when you look deeper and remember that these are all comedians it becomes abundantly clear that every single person on that stage is a massive masochistic freak and the dynamic is more that post about BDSM that's like

Sub: Can you drug me and then tie me up naked and throw me in the back of your truck and drive me to an abandoned warehouse where you do fucked up science experiments on me?

Dom, notebook in hand: I don't know, that's scary.

Like that's the real Game Changer cast vs host energy it's not Sam being an insane god of chaos and pain torturing his friends who are semi-unwilling and scared it's Sam offering his comedian friends a space of unlimited possibility and watching them immediately go off the deep end and suggest making an episode based on Slender where they have one hour in a park at night to find 6 pages while Brennan—who is high on shrooms, blindfolded, and holding a broadsword—hunts them for sport. It's not Sam's fault all of his friends are dangerously insane, he's just trying to offer them enough enrichment that they don't start trying to eat each other. In one of the latest episodes the contestants essentially torture themselves for fun and one tries to give a kid a beer while the others cheer him on, trust me the contestants are SCPs and Sam is their handler. This is containment, not torture.

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thinking david corenswet is hot is the most embarrassing reputation ruining annoying thing I could have done tbh like ohhh my god really? tall big muscles dark hair and blue eyes kind man is hot? god fucking really. are you fucking stupid I hate myself. oh you think superman is hot? fucking superman? groundbreaking type shit going on here oh my god he’s tall should we tell everyone he’s tall and his jaw is nice wow she thinks the attractive man is attractive. you and everyone else. is pizza your favorite food too. fuck you. everyone look at her she thinks SUPERMAN is hot boundaries are really being pushed over here should we get her a medal because she thinks Mr Smile is easy on the eyes. “hear me out” and it’s a fucking marching band. should we call people magazine. vanilla. I DISGUST myself. summer blockbuster. I should be killed

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Underage Drinking (2005) | Overage Drinking (2025)

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vampire hunter? no i said vampire HAUNTER. this jerk sucked all my blood out so now i spend my afterlife knocking over shelves and scaring off potential victims and just making the castle generally pretty cold

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Instead of working on an extremely important scholarship project, I spent the majority of last week needle felting a life-sized American Woodcock.

His name is Tim. Tim B. Doodle!

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well the eagle eats my liver every day around 3pm, but otherwise i can meet when it best suits your schedule!

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you ever go to someone's blog to block them but instead end up scrolling a mile down their blog in morbid fascination totally gobsmacked the whole time like damn girl you live like this???

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eventually one has to come to terms with the fact that "conceive of myself as a person capable of tackling difficult things" is an achievable goal toward which one can take concrete steps whereas "have things be easy" is Not

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Where would you put a city on this map?

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Literally everybody does have that friend named Polonius that hides behind their tapestries

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If I stay in my home I will go insane but if I ever leave I will also do that

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naruto! youre scaring the hoes!

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I am going to kill [remembers suicide jokes are bad] a healthcare executive [remembers the fbi exists] haha just kidding [remembers that tumblr hates posers] but maybe I’m not [remembers The Alamo] The Alamo

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bring on the august poems tumblrinas