heshield

[heshield]

like him stroking your jaw while you’re lying there dazed from blood loss…. “you did so well for me”……………….. i have to be euthanized

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i'm thinking some not very coherent thoughts rn .

[heshield]

the   stench   of   blood   turns   his   stomach,   but   he   does   not   shy   away   from   it.      no,   not   even   when   it   coats   his   skin   and   stains   his   clothes.      because   this   is   a   test.      one   that   he   must   pass   in   order   to   become   one   of   them.      aro   had   insisted   that   bellamy   be   present   during   a   feed,   and   while   bellamy   had   assumed   that   it   would   be   messy…      he   had   not   quite   envisioned   this.      he's   shaking,   slightly.      a   wave   of   nausea   gripping   his   stomach.      when   demetri   appears   at   his   side,   though,   he   does   not   startle.      he's   gotten   used   to   their   movements.      where   the   cullen's   had   tried   to   appear   human,   the   volturi   did   not   make   such   attempts.      even   with   him.      

@guarrds : “We   just   need   to   get   the   blood   off   you.”   

he   nods,   slowly.      he's   scared   to   speak,   worried   that   if   he   did   that   he'd   lose   the   contents   of   his   stomach.      he   rises   from   the   chair   they'd   instructed   him   to   sit   in,   and   turns   towards   demetri.      swallowing,   he   tries   to   stop   the   wave   of   nausea   from   showing   on   his   face   but   he   knows   that   it's   impossible.      he   doesn't   speak   until   they're   far,   far   away   from   the   throne   room.         ❝         is   it   always   that   bloody   ?         ❞         he   really   had   thought   that   vampires   as   old   as   them   would   have   more   class   whilst   eating.      but…      apparently   not.   

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i'm really just flyin through this blog thing without tags y'all

[heshield]

plot w/ me while i'm in this exam review ?

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❝         oh   ,   come   on   ,   demetri   …      don't   be   a   spoil   sport.         ❞         he   says   it   and   then   he's   gasping   -   the   sudden   change   in   scenery   enough   to   send   his   heart   racing.   hands   drop   the   flowers   he'd   been   gripping,   instead   he   reaches   for   demetri.      hoping   to   catch   hold   of   something   -   anything   -   to   protect   himself   from   the   sudden   change.      he   presses   his   fists   against   demetri's   chest,   trying   to   push   him   back.      not   that   it   does   much   good.      demetri   was   taller   and   much   stronger   than   him.      any   fight   that   he   had   quickly   dies   when   demetri   laughs.      he   can't   help   but   think   that   it   might   be   the   prettiest   sound   he's   ever   heard.         ❝         you're   an   ass   !         ❞         he   exclaims,   wiggling   in   demetri's   hold   a   little.   

While he was staring at the little wildflower he held , another one was placed behind his ear . the little human was definitely entertaining himself with his reaction to being offered flowers '' one more flower and all I'll be giving you to eat is wildflowers . '' a forceful grin appears on his lips as he picks the flower behind his ear . in just a second he has grabbed bellamy and pressed him against the garden walls , his feet not touching the ground '' get yourself out of this now . you're IN MY MERCY NOW . '' he could not help but laugh playfully . he didn't get to be silly like that for decades - no ! centuries . that was the beauty of humanity ( all the little moments like that ) . / @heshield

[heshield]

hi my loves. i have to go to the nursing home today but as soon as i get home i'm gonna write at least one (1) thing ! i swear it.

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i planned on being here tn but i'm so fuckin tired i'll be here tomorrow for sure tho !

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ok send memes so i can write pls <3

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🐝  *  ―  𝑬𝑴𝑶𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑳𝒀 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑮𝑬𝑫 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  why did you have to leave me?  ❜ ❛  how could you do this to me?  ❜ ❛  i trusted you!  ❜ ❛  i'm sorry, but i can't do this anymore.  ❜ ❛  do you even care how much you hurt me?  ❜ ❛  i'll never stop fighting for us, no matter what.  ❜ ❛  i don't know if i can forgive you.  ❜ ❛  i never thought i'd feel so alone, even when you're right here.  ❜ ❛  please don't go, i can't handle losing you too.  ❜ ❛  you were the one person i thought i could always count on. why did you have to let me down?  ❜ ❛  did you ever even care about us? about me?  ❜ ❛  i wish i could hate you for what you've done, but i can't.  ❜ ❛  why do you always have to play games with my feelings?  ❜ ❛  i never thought saying goodbye would hurt this much.  ❜ ❛  every time i close my eyes, all i see is the pain you've caused.  ❜ ❛  why do you insist on tearing us apart when we could be so happy together?  ❜ ❛  i'm tired of pretending everything's okay when it's clearly not.  ❜ ❛  i don't even know who you are anymore.  ❜ ❛  i need you to understand how much you mean to me.  ❜ ❛  i'm scared of losing you, but i'm even more scared of losing myself.  ❜ ❛  why won't you let me in? what are you so afraid of?  ❜ ❛  you were my world, and now everything is falling apart.  ❜ ❛  how am i supposed to trust anyone after what you've done?  ❜ ❛  i can't go through this heartache again.  ❜ ❛  why did you leave without saying goodbye?  ❜ ❛  how could you say something like that to me?  ❜ ❛  you've always had a way of making me feel worthless.  ❜ ❛  don't you dare walk away from me when i'm talking to you.  ❜ ❛  please, just tell me the truth, even if it hurts. i can handle it.  ❜ ❛  i don't know how to fix what's broken between us anymore.  ❜ ❛  you're not the person i fell in love with anymore.  ❜ ❛  just hold me and tell me everything will be okay, even if it's a lie.  ❜ ❛  i trusted you, and you betrayed me.  ❜ ❛  i never meant to hurt you, it was never my intention.  ❜ ❛  i've given you everything, and it's still not enough.  ❜ ❛  why do you always have to make everything about you?  ❜ ❛  why did you do it? why did you betray me like that?  ❜ ❛  i miss you ... more than words can say.  ❜ ❛  you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and i'm scared of losing you.  ❜ ❛  i'll always be here for you, no matter what. just please don't shut me out.  ❜

[heshield]

RP Starters: Vampire

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[ heshield ] an independent , mutually exclusive & private portrayal of BELLAMY SWAN. an original interpretation of ISABELLA SWAN from THE TWILIGHT SAGA. anti smeyer. as read by elliott.

heavily affiliated with : guarrds ,

[heshield]

no one follows this blog yet ( because i haven't launched it ) ... but i'm torn between having my volturi verse be my main or maybe just coming up w/ something new altogether... hm.