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hertestimony · 5 years

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My first 1.5 months as a school counselor

Wow, what an amazing first several weeks it's been.

But before I get into it…

I received my NYS school counselor certification in May 2017. In March, I compiled an extensive list of over a hundred schools. I started to cold call them, briefly introducing myself, and asking if they had or were expecting any vacancies for a school counseling position. I knew that the NYC DOE (Department of Education) was not hiring school counselors due to a hiring freeze, but I still went for it. And as expected, I heard barely anything back except from a couple principals who let me know they would keep my resumé on file.

I continued this for the next couple years. I cold called, I found out which DOE schools had vacancies from current employees, emailed schools my resumé and cover letters, which, by the way, took a long time to tailor to each school's job requirements and mission/vision, and applied to all charter, private, and independent schools as vacancies opened up (which were not many). During this time, I worked on and off as a private tutor, Registered Behavior Technician (RBT), after school teacher, and a HR/CSR Representative at a homecare agency.

In August of 2019, I interviewed with an insurance company. I went through three 1-hour interviews that all went well, and I had a feeling that I would be offered a position.

At the same time, I had an interview with a public specialized high school in the city for a school counselor position. At the interview, the assistant principal repeatedly told me how much their school needed someone like me, and how despite the hiring freeze, she will try to figure out how to find a spot for me there. Wait. Did I just get an informal offer??

I received a call from the insurance company, and was offered a job, and about 15k more than my position at the homecare agency (my latest salary position). It was a big improvement in salary, the work would teach me some "real world" professional business things, and the team supervisor seemed to be an understanding and kind person. But, I wanted the school counselor position. It had been two weeks, however, and I had not heard back from the school. The insurance company gave me a couple days as a deadline to accept or decline, and I felt extremely stressed out.

Do I accept the insurance job, tell them I can start in two weeks, and wait for the school's response? Will the insurance company give me two weeks before I start? What if I start, and the school asks me to come in again for a 2nd round interview? How can I take time off when I've just started working? Do I decline the offer, and risk not getting the school position either?

So many thoughts and options flooded my mind, and I felt overwhelmed.

As I knelt down and prayed, I simply kept telling God I wanted to fully trust in Him and believe that He will provide the perfect job for me. I admitted that I had no idea what to do. During these few hard days, a good friend reminded me not to settle for less when God is capable of giving me the best.

On the day of the deadline, as I prayed about what I should do, I felt strongly that God was telling me to decline the offer, and I sobbed because I was afraid. But, at the same time, I felt peace in my heart. I emailed a declination letter, thanking them for offering such an amazing opportunity.

The next day, I received an email from the high school.

She wrote that I interviewed well, but would not be offering a second interview.

My heart sank.

I sat in the car with the same friend who had encouraged me not to settle. As I told him the news, I cried. I went home that night, and cried some more as I prayed.

The next day, my heart was filled with peace. I knew that I had made the right choice.

10 days later, I had a phone interview with an elementary school in the South Bronx. The interview went really well, but I didn’t think much of it because of all the past rejections and also because I wasn’t all that excited to work in the Bronx.

Soon after, I was invited to an on-site interview where I would have to deliver a demo lesson. I adapted a lesson plan I had already created for a prior interview, and didn’t even take time to test out my demo.

On the morning of the interview, I complained to my mom that I didn’t want to go, and debated whether I should turn down the interview last minute.

On the train, I realized I hadn’t prepared one of the materials for the lesson plan. I took out a big pair of scissors and started to cut away, shoving paper scraps into my bag.

After I got off the train, I rushed because I was going to make it just on time, and not the recommended 15 minutes earlier. When I made it to the door, the security guard asked me to wait because they were having a fire drill. As I waited for about five minutes, I was able to catch my breath and observe the school students and staff as they filed past me.

As I sat inside, waiting for my interviewers, I realized I had not prepared any end of the interview questions. Wow, I was not prepared for this interview - my heart wasn’t fully in it.

Perhaps because I wasn’t so nervous, I was able to be myself during the demo lesson despite there being a student on the spectrum who refused to follow directions and do my lesson plan activity. I handled the situation as best as I can (good thing I have experience as an RBT!). I passed the demo lesson with flying colors. The three interviewers took turns praising me for what I did well, and not one said anything negative. I was smiling from ear to ear, and just kept saying “Aww, thank you so much.” After answering a bunch of questions, I was given papers to fill out. Then, the HR director told me that the principal wanted to meet me. I was taken aback at how quickly this seemed to be progressing.

As I left the principal’s office, she suddenly stopped me and asked me to go with her to another office, where she introduced me to a few people.

I left thinking that I might have a really good shot this time.

Two days later, after two and a half years of rejections and tears (and a lot of growth, too!), I finally heard the words I’d been dreaming of.

I texted every family member and friend who had supported, encouraged, and motivated me during this time. How grateful I was to God not only for the job, but also because I had so many people to share my joy with.

The job that I have right now was prepared for me well in advance, before I even got certified. God spent more than two and a half years molding me and disciplining me to fit right in and serve where God has been working. After six full weeks. I have not a single negative thing to say about my job. I love my students. I love the staff members I work with. I love the 4 hour round trip commute. I am also great at what I do not because of anything I can do or who I am, but because God has been preparing me all these years to know what words to use, how to react to certain things, how to work with certain students and parents, how to deal with students with disabilities, etc. (I worked as a private tutor, Sunday School teacher, summer school teacher, after school teacher, day care teacher, RBT, etc. for 10 plus years.)

There is simply so much grace poured upon me in every single counseling session, every situation that I’m involved in at work, and meetings with parents. For example, one student who has not opened up to any adult in the building can’t stop talking when he’s with me, and he even frolics into my office to say hi. Another example is that the students who staff members have much difficulty handling (and have to call in the parents) do an exceptional job when they’re in my counseling groups. Every single parent who I have called so far in order to get consent for me to see their child (due to at-risk behaviors or simply needing a little extra support) has given me permission despite some of them not having given permission in the past to other counselors.

This is amazing grace.

This is my faithful and good good God pouring His love onto me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, God!!!

And this is just the beginning. I’m so excited for the things to come - to continue to see what God is doing in my life, and in the lives of those around me.

#school counselor #christian #christian blogging #educational resources #God's grace #grace upon grace #KoreanAmerican #blessed #thankful #i got a job #career search #interview #discipline #God is good #Jesus loves you #lifestyle blog #testimony #real life #long reads

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hertestimony · 5 years

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Luke 18:9-14

The Pharisee and the Tax Collector 9 He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: 10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed[a] thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ 13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Vulnerability: the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally. (Oxford definition)⁣ ⁣ Being vulnerable is really difficult whether it is with family, with friends, or with coworkers. It's showing people my weaknesses and flaws despite knowing that I may be judged for them. But, when I admit these flaws and exemplify God's grace pouring through me, empowering and motivating me to work on improving myself, I believe that God is glorified.⁣ ⁣ Although vulnerability is encouraged, we have to use discernment because sometimes our vulnerability can cause others to stumble.⁣ ⁣ Cited from Peter Scazzero's "The Emotionally Healthy Leader":⁣ If our desire is to lead and serve others, we have to come to grips with this plain, hard fact: the degree to which we ignore sinful, ugly parts of ourselves is the degree to which our ability to love and lead others is limited and impaired.⁣

#vulnerability #testimony #christian #jesuschrist #jesuslovesyou #bibleverse #holyscripture #church

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hertestimony · 5 years

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Psalm 42:8 ESV May songs of praise to our Heavenly Father pour out from us all throughout the day and night. God of my life ❤ God of your life ❤

God is so good❣

After I started my renewed walk with God in the summer of 2018, I started to do daily devotionals and pray every night. It started with 5-10 minutes, and within a couple weeks, I was praying for an hour to two hours each night. I would sing worship songs, as well. They intertwined with my words and I was lifting up melodious prayers to God.

As I started to get deeper into prayer every night, I started to ask God for the gift of tongues. Although I wasn’t entirely sure what tongues was, I knew that I could communicate with God in a much more intimate way. One night as I prayed, I noticed that my tongue kept twisting. I would stop for a brief moment, and continue. This happened for the next couple of nights until my mom told me that I should let go, and allow the Holy Spirit to take control.

That’s when I surrendered to God by acknowledging my whole being as His, my voice, my mouth, my tongue, my breath, They were all His. When the tongues came, I just sobbed as I uttered words my brain did not understand. That night, I decided to give up vaping. Prior to that I had failed a countless number of times to quit smoking cigarettes, and somehow had transitioned to vaping. More than a year later, I have not put a vape mod close to my lips, let alone have I had a single urge.

I continued to do my daily devotionals and pray deeply for the next several weeks, until I started to become overwhelmed by the realities of certain things happening around me. Among other things, a childhood friend who was in her early 20’s passed away unexpectedly. For about a week, I just couldn’t bring myself to pray or sing praises to God. I admitted to God that I simply couldn’t understand why my friend had to die, especially when she had lived such a rough life. I could not praise my God for being faithful, good, and loving because at that moment, I didn’t believe it.

As I struggled with this, I had a dream that I was praising God in tongues. I woke up feeling light in my chest - I can praise Him again because somehow I now believed that God is good. God, knowing that my human logic and feeble heart were keeping me from having faith in God, and honoring Him, made me worship Him in my dream. He revealed Himself to me that night that He is worthy of my praises no matter what.

*Image was created by me using phone app, “WordSwag”. *Devotional Book I used: “The Message: Solo: An Uncommon Devotional (2007) by Katie Peckham, J.R. Briggs, & 2 more

#christian #christianblog #jesuschrist #jesuslovesyou #devotional #holyscripture #bibleverse #bible #vulnerability #church #surrender #testimony #life blogging #Holy Spirit

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hertestimony · 5 years

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Intro

Korean.

Christian.

Counselor.

These are the three things that define me. I would list Christian first, but I ordered them in such a way because my work as a counselor is much more intertwined with my being a Christian. I’m a Korean, as well as a Christian counselor.

I came to the states when I was about a year old from Seoul, South Korea. After a year or so, I went back to Korea with my mom, stayed there for a few years, and came back to the states for good in 1996. I didn’t have any formal education until I started first grade in April with not even two months left of the school year. I didn’t speak a word of English, but now at the age of 30, people are pretty impressed that I speak and write both English and Korean fluently.

When I was 10, I was crossing the street at an intersection with four stop signs, and a really really old man didn’t see me. I underwent bilateral arthroscopic procedures on the knees and went to receive physical therapy for a couple months. I just remember that I dreaded going to the therapy office. Shortly after, within a year, I was running around as if the car accident had never happened.

I studied like I’ve never studied before for two months, and was accepted into Stuyvesant High School, a highly prestigious high school in the city with escalators. I definitely have to mention that because that’s of the things that made me feel that I had to get accepted. I knew nothing else about the school to be honest except that it was considered a top notch school, if not the best, in NY. I went through all four years getting average scores and hanging out with the good apples. All I ever did was go to school, participate in clubs and other extracurricular activities, go home, and repeat.

I was accepted to the William E. Macaulay Honors College at Queens College, where I received free tuition for all four years, and my very own macbook, which I bought for a $1 in my junior year. I also used part of a $7,000 stipend to study abroad during the Winter of 2010 in Japan. College was a joke compared to my time at Stuyvesant.

In my senior year of college, I met an older boy who exposed me to cutting school, sex, cigarettes, weed, and drinking. I spent the next three years experimenting with things in life that I had looked down upon up until then. During these years, I held menial job positions as a dental assistant, but also made some cash working as a private tutor. I always had my own spending money - as long as my parents provided a roof over my head, I was able to take care of the rest, so much so that I even lent the boyfriend a few thousand dollars, which he never repaid. Also during these years, as time passed, I started to skip church service more and more often.

When life seemed to not be progressing the way I hoped, and the boyfriend was just as unmotivated about life as he was when I met him, I just happened to meet a new person. 5 years younger, attractive (very popular with the girls), and vivacious, he was eager to impress me even though I kept my distance from him since I am a loyal and faithful person. But, after about six months had passed of knowing this younger guy and things didn’t look promising with the boyfriend, I made a very difficult decision to change gears.

The new boyfriend brought me happiness and motivation. I was at my most prime physically, and started to take classes at a community college to pursue a nursing degree. It wasn’t long (in fact, only about a month in) when our relationship started to not look right. He was quick to tell me that he wanted to break up, I was jealous and worried that he might look at other girls (since he was so popular, and he was also overly friendly and helpful, especially with the ladies), and worst of all, he and I just didn’t see eye to eye. From the get-go, our communication was not fluid, and this continued for the next 5 years. The relationship quickly grew toxic - I became more submissive and docile while he grew more and more aggressive and abusive.

In 2015, I started grad school to become a school counselor. There were many obstacles along the way such as having to prolong my studies a whole year because of issues at my internship site. Mentally and emotionally, I always felt drained because my relationship with the boyfriend was growing more and more toxic, and I didn’t feel happy with the counseling program.

At the fifth year of my relationship with the boyfriend, my sister and her boyfriend became engaged and soon after, she was busy working full time (in a director position) and planning on a wedding. Being that in the Korean culture, the older siblings are supposed to get married first, pressure was put on me, not necessarily by my family, but by older adults and even strangers. I didn’t care much, but I think I was more envious of the fact that her life was moving the way I wanted mine to go.

I was 28 years old. No job. A toxic relationship. People all around me getting married and even having kids. My dream as a child was always to get married early (at 21 years of age!) and have children with the man I loved. I was pretty much a miserable wreck by this time. Oh, and I was hit by a car again. Another old old man who didn't see my huge northface jacket as I crossed the street. I was dealing with some serious back and knee pain, and unlike when I was 10 years old, the healing process was taking a lot longer.

One summer night in 2018, as I followed my usual routine, playing PC games and/or browsing the web, and listening to Christian music (that’s right. I didn’t listen to anything else, but Christian music), suddenly the lyrics to the song that was playing hit me hard. I can’t remember for sure what song it was, but for some reason I feel like it could have been “Reckless Love” by Cory Asbury. I just started to weep uncontrollably and praise God.

My life changed after that night.

About a year after that night, here I am writing my first blog post.

This blog will be dedicated to my detailed life stories, and Bible passages/messages I want to share. Every single one of my posts will have an underlying or very evident Christian theme because before I am anything else, my identity is in Jesus Christ alone.

I pray that my blogs will glorify God alone, that you will leave deeply reflecting on what God’s love and grace looks like in your life, and that my true life stories will encourage you to love Him more and praise Him for who He is.

#christian #testimony #jesuslovesyou #autobiography #lifestyle blog #girls blog #schoolcounseling #koreanamerican #stuyvesant #vulnerability #christianblog #counselingblog #HolySpirit #holy scripture

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