hemlockthicketnaturepreserve

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PSA

Please be aware of the risk that you put yourself in, when you vlog at the preserve. Any footage or images found on your person in the time of your demise, we will use for advertising.

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Do not attempt to play catch with the swillers. They cannot see, they will only keep chomping and following you. - Staff

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One of our more confusing creatures at the preserve is a wonky fella we call Peaches. Peaches appears to be a distant cousin of the Leer, though we cannot fully verify as there is only one creature we have seen like this. Peaches is relatively safe to be around; they just like to watch people. It is sometimes seen spending time with a strange stray cat named Beans. They can sometimes be seen attempting to open the Hatch... which is OFF LIMITS.

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Amanita infants are the offspring of Amanita domina. After sprouting from the carcasses in which they're implanted- the offspring are abandoned in the early stages of life. Their solitary upbringing is spent surviving off of small bugs and rodents that close enough; until they grow all of their legs and can finally hunt.

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Please dispose of any of any old [REDACTED] flyers you may see littering the trails or around the visitor center. They are outdated and belong in the trash.

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Our trail cameras allow us to keep an eye on certain spots of the preserve. This helps us to spot Leer and other dangerous wildlife- without having to leave the safety of the visitor center.

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Meat grubs are nasty little bugs. They have gnarly teeth and like to bite and tear flesh. They can be lured by the smell of waste- animal or human. So if you're going to hike, be wary if you squat in the woods- or at least be quick about it.

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Musheaters are dumb, abominations of animals. They are a cruel joke from mother nature herself. This timid herbivore mostly feeds off of the bases of trees and undergrowth around the thicket with its neck-mouth. Musheaters are the main prey for Amanita domina. They are usually too fast for Swillers to chase but due to their incredible lack of awareness- Musheaters eventually end up trapping or killing themselves somehow- making it easy for a swiller to catch up.

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The Swiller is a relentless glutton. They start out as small as a golf ball and can grow to be as large as 7ft tall. The more they eat, the more they grow to be able to eat larger prey. They have poor eyesight so Swillers will follow whatever is in front them and chomp until nothing is left. When the Swiller isn't eating- it's sleeping and waiting for a victim to mistake it for a boulder.

*please do not take infant Swillers home as pets*

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The Leer is an enigmatic being. It stands as tall as the tallest tree in the forest; it will see you before you can see it. We are uncertain about how many there are. The best way to survive a Leer attack, is to back away towards the nearest trail while looking at the ground. Do not acknowledge the Leer and do not perceive the Leer.

It doesn't seem to bother hikers on the actual trails; yet there have been reports of hikers feeling nauseous and sluggish in times when the Leer has been close by- so we encourage that you not stray too far into the trees...and try not to look up. -HTNP Staff

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Spring-Fall are prime seasons for Amanita domina activity. She primarily feeds on Musheaters but she has no problem eating hikers who wander too far from the trails. Due to a drop in enrollment- during spring and summer, there are no staff members at the preserve. This means that from April to September all hikers are adventuring at their own risk. Nobody is coming for you. Stay safe out there folks.

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We at the preserve would like to inform new guests who decide to hike our trails that the Hatch is off limits to the public. You may walk the trails around the hatch; but you MAY NOT open the hatch. Thank you!

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The Leer removes its protective exoskeleton to air out it's fleshy and vulnerable face.

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We at the preserve ask that you refrain from littering on our trails. Garbage can disrupt the environment and have negative effects on our inhabitants. Thank you.

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Valentine's Day Event at the Preserve!

Got a shitty ex that still won't let you move on? Well don't let the opportunity pass you by. Bring them to the preserve for a romantic picnic on Valentine's Day, and we'll feed them to a Swiller!

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Welcome to Hemlock Thicket Nature Preserve. We hope you enjoy taking in the sites and aromas of our forest.

Quick PSA: please refrain from feeding the wildlife, it could lure more away from their habitats. Thank you!