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[heleneinterpersonalcomm-blog]

#9 group solving problem and term conclusion

Dear Diary,

Here we are: week 10! The last week of classes, and finals. I am delighted to have had this experience: to spend a term at a partner university of my French school. Although it has not been easy every day... now I can not wait to get home, find my family, my boyfriend, my friends and my habits. Because I know, after this experience, that I could never live in the United States, and that I love France and the culture that we have in France to live elsewhere. Sometimes it is good to travel to love even more where we come from, our origins. This trip has me more than ever confirmed.

Last week, during interpersonal communication, we played group games. It was fun even if I had not done this for years since in Master 2, in France, they unfortunately do not let us have fun like that in class... In this kind of small group games, we can analyze our peers and discover personalities. Some are very competitive, others are shy, and some disinterested... it's interesting to discover the different reactions of different people. I regret, however, that the language barrier did not allow me to play all games. Like the baby food game, I would have penalized my team by playing, since I am unable to give all the names of fruits and vegetables in English. Also, the test of drawing was very hard for me because I do not master all the vocabulary of the drawings: I did not know how to say "a fish scale", for example... So many barriers that are sometimes complicated and that make me feel behind other people. This is also often the feeling I had in class here in the United States. Often, international students are considered at the same level as American students. This can have advantages: no differences, learning by oneself... But it also has many disadvantages on the personal level. I often felt excluded, and terribly alone. In all my classes, in general.

It's often what I said to myself: these exercises, the classes I had here, the exams and oral presentations that I had... all of this would have been very easy in my mother language. However, in English, the difficulty is doubled. I am therefore disappointed that the internationals are not considered as more « different ». Because in my opinion, the courses here are very accessible for American students. So it's disappointing to have bad grades and to fail because professors do not take into account the fact that we are international students, and for us everything is much more complex... But that's the adventure of an international student, and now that I know it, I am happy with myself and proud to have managed to give the best of myself without ever giving up. While sometimes, I really had only one desire: give up and go home, study in France, and spend my last year of study in an environment where I felt more in my place and understood. But this experience in the United States will have strengthened my character even more. And also, I learned to relativize and take on myself.

To return to the group problem solving, I was also surprised by the exercise that was given to us on Thursday. I have never been taught to work like this. In France, we are not taught to divide notes unequally. We are always taught to work in groups, to reward all members of the group equally, and not to value one person only. I think it's because the United States is renowned for being an individualistic country. Here, people think a lot for themselves, and everyone loves to talk about their privacy in front of everyone. In France, it's different. We like to work in a group equitably, and all earn a reward in a fair way. Also, we are more modest about our private lives. Reason why I do not like to give private examples in class. This scoring exercise destabilized me. I do not like working in extra credits, and conflicts to claim points. So I decided, from the first minute of the meeting to take the 0. Because it does not matter to me and does not reflect the real professional life that I have discovered in multipes long internships. I prefer to keep a good memory of Tuesday's activities, rather than fighting for a note on the following Thursday.

So I draw from this exercise a positive conclusion: I had fun on Tuesday and I liked to discover my peers in a world of competition. But for me, when we work in a group, we form a team. But no one in the group wins alone. It is the principle of a group, it is like sport: a group is a unit, we lose or we win together.

[heleneinterpersonalcomm-blog]

#8 Interpersonal communication in close relationships

Dear Diary,

I do not realize that classes are already almost finished. We are already week 9 and I still see myself on the first day of classes. It happened very quickly. And at the same time, it sometimes seemed very long. It's a funny feeling. Last week, in interpersonal communication class, we talked about Interpersonal communication in close relationships. I was happy to talk about this because I suspected we were going to talk about love, friendship and family ties. So many topics that affect me right now, because I can not wait to find my life in France, my friends, my family and my boyfriend, never to leave them so long!

The intimacy I share with each of them is different, but by traveling far away from them, I realized how precious my relationship with them was. I do not want to go away alone anymore. It was a good experience, but I feel too good in France, with my culture and habits, to jeopardize the intimacy I have with my loved ones by going back so long. Traveling in the United States made me realize that I really love my home country, my language, and my life there with our culture.

In my family, I would say that we operate with the pluralistic families system. Indeed, my sister and I are very close to our parents. We talk a lot with them, and we talk about everything. Nothing is taboo, not even our private lives. We spend a lot of time together, and our parents encourage us to experience life on our own. By learning from our mistakes, and by forging our own personality. So we are a family with a high conversation orientation, and a low conformity orientation. And I like that a lot. I feel free and close to talking to my parents about everything, it is fulfilling and it has allowed me many things in life. I am extremely grateful for the education they gave me.

As for my friendly relations, I would tend to say that they are all very different from each other. I have my childhood friends, who are considered members of my family in their own right. Our relationship is therefore long term and low disclosure. My parents consider them as if they were their children. We talk about absolutely everything with them, and our families are very close. We celebrate Christmas together, we go on vacation together... A real family, and I love it more than anything! I can not do without them.

And then there are my school friends. With them it's different, I think that from the beginning I left them less space in my life because I was already satisfied with my childhood friends and my family. But we still have a beautiful friendship. I would say she is more low-contact, and more relationship-oriented. But I like them a lot, and I'm very lucky to have them. My five years of study have been wonderful thanks in part to them.

Finally, romantic relationships. Finally, the relationship I have with Alex, my boyfriend for 1 year and a half. It's the healthiest relationship I've ever known. I am fulfilled and fulfilled since I am with him. My life has changed in the sense that we are doing projects together. We took the time to get to know each other, and now we are going to move together in a few months: I am graduating from my Master's degree, and he is already employed in a communication agency. We share the same passions and the same field of work... It's a real plus for us. We share many things together: sports, travels, passions... it's the most beautiful thing that has happened to me. Our relationship, I characterize consummate love because we share the three necessary points: commitment, since we have many common projects and two families who support us to achieve them, intimacy and passion...

That's it for this week! I do not like to talk much about my private life usually, it's something we keep a lot for us in France... But as I'm in the United States, and I see that many Americans like to share their personal experiences in class: so I'm ready to play this game again for two weeks!

[heleneinterpersonalcomm-blog]

#7 Communication & relational dynamics

Dear Diary,

A new emotional week has just ended. After having waited so long for my family and my boyfriend came to visit me, they are already on their way back... direction France! These days with them passed very quickly. Too fast. It was intense: 125km of walking over 8 days. We visited New York City then Chicago. Now back to reality: school, homework, and campus life!

Their visit is a real boost for me, I feel energized to finish the last three weeks I have to go to North Central College. Even if saying goodbye was a very difficult time. I had the feeling of reliving our homecoming at the airport of Paris on August 30th. Not easy...

This introduction to my blog article of the week fits perfectly with the chapter studied in class last week. You spoke in chapter nine of "communication and relational dynamics". I was educated in a family where it is easy to show social support to the people we value. When my sister, mother, father or other family member has a problem, I easily tend to bear it without shame.

In my romantic relationship, it is true that bonding is obvious. Like all couples, we hold hands and have tender gestures towards each other. I think in 95% of relationships we do that. It's funny because we love our friends, but we do not hold their hand in the street. I really like to see that romantic relationships are very powerful and have almost international codes. Across all countries and cultures, all lovers will hold hands in the street.

So when we talk about experimenting, that's exactly what I did when I came here to the United States. I spoke to many different people: different cultures, different nationalities, girls, boys... etc. My goal was to find common ground with other people to create friendly affinities. At first, it was hard. I could not find anyone who shared the same passions as me. But after all, it seems that the opposites are attracting. So I did not panic too much. Then it became heavy, I felt very lonely in the end since I was surrounded by people with whom I did not share anything. And then I met three girls: sports like me, and very very funny... The contact went very well, I knew that these three girls would become very good friends. And that's the case. Today, thanks to her, I feel better at North Central College. I feel listened, supported, and they make me laugh a lot. It's important to have good friendships. Without friends, everyday life seems harder. Especially since I am very close to my friends in France. I've always needed someone to talk to, and to share things I love: sports, walks, and so much more!

Often, when I feel good with people, I naturally practice relational maintenance. I do not like arguing with my friends. Conflicts with friends are often hard to handle. And then, in my opinion, friends are made for the good side of life: having fun, laughing, dancing... etc. Not to argue. So I always avoid conflicts with my friends, and I try to make everyone happy in the group! However, when they are people I esteem less, I confess to make less effort to avoid conflicts...

Depending on the type of relationship: family, friends, lovers, we always act differently. But in general, I like to preserve my relationship with the people I love. And I like these people to be happy and fulfilled. This week with my loved ones and my boyfriend made me realize how much friendship and friendship are important to feeling good and being fulfilled.

Looking forward to the next adventures... and see what this last straight line to the winter break holds me here at North Central College!

[heleneinterpersonalcomm-blog]

#6 language and non verbal communication

The long awaited moment has finally arrived: Saturday I will be with my family and my boyfriend! This is the reason why I write this blog article as much in advance... We will finally all meet after having left on August 30, 2018 at Paris airport. I feel it was an eternity ago. And at the same time, I feel that time has passed very quickly since I arrived here... funny feeling! I know that this reunion will be extraordinary, I can not wait. Especially since we all meet in New York City. It's my boyfriend's and sister's dream to visit this city... I'm so happy that they can finally visit New York City.

I did not see this week go by... As soon as I got back from Syracuse on Monday night, I had some homework to catch up with. I also spent a lot of time doing my homeworks in advance, so I did not miss too many classes next week.

This week, in the class of interpersonal communication, we talked about language. Barriers and bridges that language could build. When we came to the subject of "We language", I immediately recognized myself. When I was in high school, my friends and I often tended to speak for all of us, and always present ourselves as a group, more than individuals. It was our way of differentiating ourselves, of showing to others our strong friendship, and also of not feeling alone when we were doing silly things... it is always easier to make many to a punishment, that to be alone involved in a stupidity.

And now that I'm in a relationship, we tend to do the same thing: talk for two. "We are not available this weekend," "we loved this movie"... etc. It's funny how we like being bonded and forming one with the person we love.

We also talked about non-verbal communication. Nonverbal communication is a big part of how we communicate. As we said in class, "one can not not communicate". Even without words, we constantly express something with our gestures, our facial expressions... etc. In French culture, non-verbal communication is a big part of our communication. We illustrate our remarks by making gestures with our hands, showing on our face our expressions: if we are astonished, happy, surprised, or worried... etc. One can easily read what the other person thinks just by looking at him. I think it's very close to the American culture, I noticed that here too people show their expressions easily. I also think that depending on the context and the relationship we have with a person, we control more or less our non-verbal messages. For example, when I am at a job interview for an internship, I always try to appear smiling, to control my actions, and not to show my stress (which is not always easy by the way).

All these principles of communication are interesting because I can easily illustrate them with specific cases of my personal life. This is probably the reason why I always liked to study communication, in France as in the United States.

I remember that in second year of license, in France, we had studied space furnaces zones. The teacher had illustrated them with cases of our personal lives: the distance we have with our friends, the distance we have with our boyfriend, or the distance we have between our colleagues and us at work. It is interesting to note that we have never been taught to maintain these distances, but naturally and instinctively we know with what person we can be physically close, and with what other people we can not. This is also a question of culture I think.

By the way, talking about culture, I really liked when we talked about how people can manage their time. I think France is a Monochronic country. Maybe not as much as the Germans, but we have a little the same functioning. Punctuality is well seen, and tasks are often handled one by one. That's what I understood when I traveled to Morocco and Greece. There, schedules are not really important. People have a more relaxed way of life. It's funny that people who live in the sun have this way of being more relaxed.

[heleneinterpersonalcomm-blog]

#5 listening

Dear Diary,

Last week, I had my first written exam. A first on tuesday in my interpersonal communication class, then a second one on thursday in my mass media & society class. I have been very stressed for these two written exams, because I still do not perfectly master the English language. But I reassured myself by saying that I gave the best of myself, and that as long as I was studying, I could not be disappointed. In any case: I learn something. And this is the most important.

At the moment, the weather changes a lot and my emotions change too. With the change of weather, which slowly but surely switches from summer to autumn, my emotions change a lot. I had the moral flat last week: change of time, my family that I really miss a lot, and always this difficulty to adapt to the American culture. I love discovering this new culture, but sometimes I'm sad not to succeed to flourish as much as I would have liked to before arriving in North Central College.

I'm really happy to be traveling from Friday, October 12 to Monday, October 15 at the American family who welcomed me 6 years ago. They live in Syracuse. Spending a weekend with them 6 years later teaches me a lot about myself. I learn that I have changed a lot, I grew up. Even they are amazed to see me now, when they knew me when I was only 16 years old. But I also know that they are very proud that I come to share a new experience in their country. They are very proud of the United States, very proud to be American. I get along very well with them. I am delighted that we have kept in touch all this time: thank you social networks!

In class, we talked about different ways to listen. At first, it may seem obvious, but eventually I discovered a lot of notions. Concepts I already knew, because I apply them on a daily basis. But I did not know they had a name. First of all, when we talked about selective listening, I laughed a lot because I immediately thought of my father. My mother often tends to tell him that he only retains what suits him. It's a phrase I heard a lot at home. And then I grew up, I now have my life as a couple, and I often find myself repeating this same sentence to my boyfriend. It's funny how we can imitate the way our parents act unconsciously.

In the end, I think that I too tend to use the method of selective listening. I really like hearing what I want to hear. This is my side a bit stubborn!

Speaking of listening, and types of answers ... I also think of the time I had my first heartache. I was still a teenager, and I thought the world around me was falling apart. Nothing could reassure me. And then, my best friend knew how to adopt the right words, the good reactions. She did not do as everyone, she did not want to complain or just give me a hug to tell me that everything was going well. She asked me a lot of questions, she tried to understand my pain. She put herself in my place somehow. And it was largely thanks to her that I quickly recovered. I think questioning someone with sincere questions is the best way to put oneself in someone else's shoes and comfort them.

Finally, week 5 is over: half of the term is over! Everything is moving very fast, and I can not wait to find my family, very soon in New York ... then in a short time I will be back in France, with lots of memories in mind!

[heleneinterpersonalcomm-blog]

#4 communication climate and conflicts

Dear Diary,

The fourth week of classes has just ended... and yes, already! The time passes to an incredible speed. In interpersonal communication, we talked about two major topics this week: improving the communication climate and managing interpersonal conflict.

These themes are really interesting for all of us, those are the real situations of everyday life. I recognized myself in several notions that we could study in class.

First, when we talked about impervious response, I immediately thought of the behavior that I have when my best friend calls me on Messenger. I love her a lot, and I love being with her. We even did a backpacking trip in Costa Rica together last summer. But I like it more when we are face to face than on the phone. The problem is that she tends to be always over excited and therefore to speak very loudly. At one point she often interrupt others, and even me. When we are face to face, I do not have a problem because I can stop her. When we are on the phone it's different. I do not have time to speak in my turn. She tells me about her life, everything that happens to her without giving me a lot of time to express myself... So rather than being frustrated by these calls that make me more upset than anything else, I have adopted the impervious response mode with her. And, I no longer answer her calls intentionally. Then, I pretend not to be available because I'm doing my workout, or because I'm in class, or just that with jet lag she does not realize that I can not be available when she is. I know this is not a good way to go, but I have not had the courage to discuss it with her. And I should, because as we saw in Thursday class, it could lead to conflict. Or that I become in the state of "crazy-making" because I get angry alone without telling her how I feel. And by keeping everything for me, I understood that it would end up badly...

Speaking of conflict, I discovered that I acted completely differently depending on the person I was talking to. Indeed, when I have a conflict with my family, I will tend to be competing. Hold my way until I get what I want. My mother always says that she gave birth to two true capricious girl, and I think she is right. Sometimes I'd better make a little more compromise with my parents. But be assured, it's never anything very bad. I love my parents, and I am very grateful for everything they do for my sister and me. If I am here in the United States today to study, it is thanks to them.

Another person who motivates me a lot, and who supports me enormously in this adventure, is also my boyfriend. With him, conflicts are really different. Since the beginning of our relationship we want to discuss and communicate. We do our best to always find common ground when there is a conflict. I deduce that I have a more collaborative mode with him. Surely because this relationship is very close to my heart and I want to preserve it. On the other hand, we have always tried to avoid compromises. The goal is that we are just all the time fully satisfied without ever sacrificing anything. It's not an easy task every day, but it's a real day-to-day exercise that teaches us a lot about ourselves. In fact, it was my first year psychology teacher in Master who taught me that the compromises were not necessarily good. According to him, it is necessary to satisfy the needs of each one without trying to sacrifice anything. Starting from his example, I try to apply it to my life. I do not take it 100% to heart, but I think that in his way of demonstrating it to us, he was right a few times, on certain points.

In short, the conflicts and behaviors we adopt have a real impact on our lives. And I can check it in absolutely every relationship I have with different people. I am the same person with each of my acquaintances: friends, boyfriend, family, colleagues... and yet I adopt a completely different reaction when I have a conflict with one of them. It's human nature! And what a pleasure to discover about yourself and the world around us a little more each day.

[heleneinterpersonalcomm-blog]

#3 perception and emotions

Dear Diary,

Last week we talked about the big topics of perception and emotions in interpersonal communication. Topics that we all think more or less master. But I learned a lot more from concrete examples of my life. When in class we settled in groups to apply the concepts of courses to cases of our personal lives, I knew how to analyze and understand the subject of study more quickly. I will use the example I used in class.

Last Tuesday, after my oral presentation with my interpersonal communication group, I received a call from my mother. My parents, my sister and my boyfriend join me in the United States at the end of October. She called me to warn me that the travel agency had some difficulties in finalizing the order of airline tickets following a flight error. I could not keep calm, and I immediately started to panic. Physically, you could see my panic, I began to crack my fingers and shake my legs. I must say that I am a very emotional person and I often have a hard time hiding my feelings. I have always had a personality trying to hide my real emotions, probably because of modesty or pride... but when it comes to my family, I have a hard time hiding my real emotions. Also, I felt my mother anxious, that is also the reason why I was quickly anxious: "emotional contagion".

From a cultural point of view, we French are rather spontaneous and we have not been educated to hide our emotions, we are quite free to express them, that we are sad, angry, anxious... etc. However, in this case, I think it's more my environment that has favored my distress: end of my first oral presentation in the United States, my family that I miss a lot, blues to be far from them, and also the difficulties that I have to adapt to life on a campus, to share a room with a roommate that is very different from me... etc. All these elements have certainly favored my reaction too spontaneous. With the retreat, I would surely have to keep calm and help solve the problem. Indeed, getting upset and dramatizing has never helped any situation to resolve itself. And finally, all is well who finished well: my relatives will be well on American soil from October 20... and I can not wait to finally find them to discover New York, Naperville and Chicago...!

Speaking of life on campus and roommate, we must know that in France we have no campus. We all live in apartments: in shared apartments, alone, or at our parents' home if our universities are not too far from their home. This is the first time I live on campus. I discover the operation. Still a culture shock. Here I discover a life much more monotonous than the one I live in France. Here I am 24/7 on campus. In France, I spend my week in my apartment in Lille, the weekend at my parents and Saturday in the clothing store in which I work. So I have a hard time adapting to such a monotonous life here... And then the roommate with whom I share the room is very different from me. The first impression I got was probably blocking me. But I tried to go beyond all the same. I did not want to ruin my adventure in the United States because of bad judgment or a bad first impression. However, I think that's what happened anyway... And living with a person with whom we do not get along: for reasons of education, culture, or even organization... it's not easy every day. Especially when you live far from home, and you do not usually share your room. I would like to put words on what I sometimes feel here, but it is very complicated because English is not my mother tongue. I can say exactly what I feel in French, but unfortunately my emotional vocabulary is too weak for me to express it in English... I am not used to keeping for myself what I feel. I always talk to my boyfriend, my parents, or my sister. But here, since I do not have a large enough emotional vocabulary, I can not express to someone face-to-face what I really feel. But sometimes it would do me a lot of good.

To summarize this blog article of the week, my emotions and my perception of life around me, during my exchange student experience, are very diverse. Indeed, I learn and I discover every day a little more. And then everything goes very fast. Already a month since I arrived at North Central College. And even if it's not easy every day, I can not wait to live the rest of the adventure.

[heleneinterpersonalcomm-blog]

#2 Communication and Identity: presenting the self

Dear Diary,

The second week of classes has just finished. I thought, as I had written the week before, learned a lot about myself. But it was only the beginning. During the previous interpersonal communication class, we brought back a portrait of us. We had to write what best represents us, whether it is our positive or negative thoughts about ourselves. So I brought a picture of me with all around words that represent me: "smiling", "enthusiastic", "competitive", but also wishes "I would like to be more shaped", "I would like to be less emotional "," I would like to be less procrastinating ", or fears" I'm afraid of not making myself understood when I speak English "," I sometimes feel lost in my homework in English "... etc.

All these statements and observations about myself are personal. And I had some fears of sharing them with classmates I do not know yet. However, after having recovered my sheet filled with small annotations of all my classmates, I was surprised and reassured. Each of them had left a little positive word. I realized that I was not alone and that many people were in the same situation as me: sometimes not comfortable with the English language, sometimes not comfortable with their physique... etc. And also encouraging words: "You have a nice accent! "You have a very sporty physique ! ". All these words represent a real encouragement and it encourages self-esteem. Which is very important when we are still young and student, still looking for who we really are.

What is funny and controversial at the same time, is that we are almost all anxious about what others may think of us. But in this kind of exercise, we are also very curious about their thinking. Especially if it is positive. These thoughts become encouragement. For example, my complex not being able to speak fluent English almost resolved itself by discovering that some found that I was doing well. So it's funny to see that even if the eyes of others scare us, and we always say that we should not listen to what others say, actually the fact to know different opinions is sometimes positive on the personal level and for self-esteem.

I never really trusted myself. And knowing what others can think of me scares me. Yet, thanks to this « Who am I ? » exercise, I managed to understand that many were in the same situation as me. On many portraits I saw "lack of self-confidence", or "I'm afraid of others' thoughts". Why are we all so hard on ourselves?

Doing this exercise was also a way of letting go, and going towards others, almost without a filter. It's almost a challenge when you do not trust yourself. Also, the concept of self-esteem is very important in the kind of experience I am experiencing. As a French student, if I do not trust myself, and I do not show a positive image, I would not behave well and therefore I would never attract good people. It is therefore important that I work on myself again and again to open up new opportunities!

In my opinion, playing sports is also important for learning to love and trust each other. It makes me feel stronger, more competitive and more motivated to succeed in what I am doing. Here at North Central College, I discovered a softer sport: yoga. It has become a new way to feel good in my mind. I feel relaxed, soothed, and ready to start new adventures. Yoga also allows me to take time to reflect on my days, meetings and experiences here as a student at North Central College. This is a good way to let go and take a step back on situations that sometimes first seem complicated.

The self-concept continues to evolve, I can only affirm it. In three weeks away from my family, my home and my habits, I can already say that I have a new image of myself, and that I have changed a lot. In particular, grown up. I feel that I have learned a lot about who I am, and what I like or what I do not like. Living on campus is a first for me, and although it's not that easy every day, I can now say I know if I like it or not. So all these little experiences have come to know me better, but also to learn how to get to know the people around me better, and to understand why they behave this way, depending on where they come from, their culture, but also their education ... etc.

Traveling and studying in the United States is a great opportunity in my life as a student, and it prepares me for my future life.

[heleneinterpersonalcomm-blog]

#1 A first look at interpersonal communication

Dear Diary, 

The first week of classes is done: it was for me the last “back to school” time of my life! And what a new school year, I get back to school in the United States, in Naperville, near Chicago, at North Central College. It’s been 15 days since I arrived here to complete a term. In France, I am in the second year of my Master’s degree, my last year of studies so. Finishing my studies in the United States is a real opportunity. 

Even though these first 15 days have not always been that easy. I have already learned a lot about myself and others. To begin, this is the first time in my life that I live on campus and share my room... and it's not always easy! The adaptation is still difficult. Firstly because there is a cultural shock : my roommate and I do not have the same habits of life. But also, because of the language barrier. Indeed, even if I learn English for many years, and I really like this language, it's very tiring to concentrate all day to understand and respond. Especially because I do think that Americans speak very quickly and with a vocabulary very different from the one we learn in English classes in France. 

I will focus on my first day of classes for this blog post. So I started classes on Tuesday, September 11, 2018 at 8am. My first class was interpersonal communication, rather funny because it is the course for which I write this blog. This morning, I get up early, I took time to prepare myself, but I do not have breakfast because I'm not hungry. The stress surely. Once out of my residence, I head for Goldspohn Hall, accompanied by a student I met the day before attending the same class as me. I feel reassured not to be alone, I am less lost. 

The lesson begins, the environment is quiet, and yet I feel deconcentrated as if there was a lot of noise around me. The instructions are quickly announced, and I already feel lost hearing the amount of work requested. A little panic, then I pulled myself together. I do not want to show that I am destabilized, but these first courses in a language that is not mine are very hard. I feel lonely because I see all the other students understand right away what to do. I concentrate, I finally manage to decode the messages sent by the teacher.It is thought that a calm environment is more advantageous to work, but for this first course, this calm annoyed me and made me feel very alone. Also, I was destabilized by the individual tables. In France, we do not have that.Intercultural communication skills takes a lot of effort. It is a real challenge to go to others when we are not sure of being able to make ourselves understood. I still decided to go introduce myself to each of my teachers at the end of each of my first courses.

« While increasing cognitive complexity and empathy helps you better understand others, self-monitoring is one way to better understand yourself. » In this first interpersonal communication class, we had an imposed group, with people we do not know. Once again, it took me out of my comfort zone and pushed me to communicate with new people. Being in a group of American girls with no other international students was challenging. I was afraid of feeling excluded and to make them waste their time because of my difficulties in understanding everything as quickly as they do. But, using this self-monitoring technique allows me to analyze the situation and better understand my group.

Finally : « commitment ». Even if, as an international student, it is not always easy, I am very committed and motivated to give the best of myself. So it's a form of communication to worry about your workgroup, and to want to give the best you can give.

In summary, my first steps at North Central College are rich in emotion. I learn every day. I discover every day. This experience takes me out of my day-to-day comfort zone and pushes me towards others. Communicating is essential in this kind of trip. It is by communicating and opening myself to others that I will feel more comfortable and move forward. If, in a school exchange, we do not communicate, I think that we can quickly lock in on ourselves, and live the experience badly. While this kind of experience has a lot to offer us. I can not wait to discover more about myself, the United States and this culture which is really different from my French culture.