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helbramstrauma-main · 2 years ago

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Feitan x Reader: Soft spot

Okay guys, hear me out 😫. I found this Hunter x Hunter fic I wrote a while back (because I'm obsessed with Feitan as he reminds me a bit of Levi 🥲 don't know why), and I felt too ashamed to upload it, BUT I'm going to get out of my comfort zone and upload it anyway. I'm currently writing your requests, but I thought it would be nice to upload this anyway.

I mean, it's a ✨ spicy ✨ story, angsty at the beginning and noncon touching at first, but it has a happy ending 🤍✨

Word count: 5783

‘Why do you always follow his orders like a little puppy?’, you sighed, arm covering your eyes.

You were lying in the garden, a soft blanket underneath you, as to separate you from the soft grass underneath you. Eyes fixated on the clouds that floated by. You’d spent the whole morning looking at the white, fluffy clouds that kept floating by, letting your imagination run loose.

‘Ugh’, you looked at Feitan with one pitted eye, trying to catch a glimpse of your ‘bodyguard’ – as Chrollo called him. ‘Well, this is nice’, you chuckled, covering your eyes again, ‘Of course, that asshole leaves me with you’.

Feitan was sitting on one of the luxurious lounge chairs behind you, staring into nothing with an emotionless expression.

‘Talk about him like that one more time, and I’ll lock you up in the basement’. ‘You really are a dog’, you whispered, slowly sitting up straight, ‘Protecting your owner like the good, little pup you are’.

You knew you shouldn’t have said that, you knew what the consequences could be. Feitan had shown you multiple times already that he didn’t tolerate disobedience, and what could happen if you decided to do so.

‘What?’, you looked up at Feitan who was suddenly towering over you, cold eyes meeting yours. ‘I know you can’t hurt me anymore, heard that creep talk to you before he left again. Seems like burning my thighs wasn’t such a good idea, little Feitan’.

You tried not to sound intimidated, but your heart was racing with fear at the memory. You could still remember the look in his eyes, the pleasure when he heard you scream out in pain once the hot metal melted away the thin layer of skin.

‘Fine’, he replied coldly while grabbing a phone from his pocket, ‘I’ll call him, tell him what a brat you’re being. I’m sure he’ll treat you nice once he’s ba-‘, ‘N-no!’, you placed a hand around Feitan’s ankle, ‘Please, don’t call him’.

Feitan lowered the phone again, his cold eyes never leaving your pleading ones.

‘Be grateful I let you outside, Y/N. I’ve been very reasonable with you today because I thought that by now you would’ve learned your lesson’, he kicked your hand nonchalantly away before turning his back towards you, ‘Let’s go, the sun’s been annoying me for the last hour’. ‘C-can we please stay outside for a little longer?’, your voice was shaking, ‘I-I’ve been inside for months now, I’ve missed –‘.

You quickly stopped talking once you could see Feitan turning his head over his shoulder. He didn’t have to say anything, didn’t have to threaten you. His gaze said it all, fingers softly tapping his pocket. Maybe he couldn’t hurt you anymore, but he knew what Chrollo would do to you. He heard your cries for help, the fear in your voice. He heard how you’d begged Chrollo to stop, telling him you’d rather be dead than live through another night with him.

‘Hm, coming’, you lowered your eyes before picking up the blanket you were laying on.

---

‘Feitan?’, you softly asked while playing with your food, ‘What?’.

You could hear he was annoyed with how much you talked to him, and it’s not that you liked talking to him, but he was the only one you could talk to. You’d only met the other members very swiftly. Chrollo didn’t appreciate their prying eyes, nor the way they let their eyes linger a little too long over your body. Feitan was the only one that watched over you in Chrollo’s mansion when he was gone. Apparently, Feitan was the only one he could trust with you.

‘C-could we maybe-‘, you closed your eyes, heart beating out of your chest, ‘Talk’, Feitan ordered you, ‘Don’t have the patience for this’. ‘Would you like to take a walk through the garden before locking me up in my room?’.

You’d tried to be defiant before, to run… But a couple of nights in a basement with Feitan had knocked that right out of you. Feitan was a cruel man. It often felt like he got off on your screams and tears. Even now that he physically couldn’t hurt you anymore, he did so mentally. Every so often tapping his thigh, letting you know he could call Chrollo and tell him how you misbehaved, knowing that his boss would punish you in ways Feitan only could dream of.

‘No’, his answer was short and clear, leaving no room for doubt. ‘P-please, I’ll do anything. I can’t take it anymore… Being locked up inside these walls’.

Tears started streaming down your cheeks, while a soft whimper escaped from your mouth now and then. You were so scared, so lonely. Memories of your old life already started to fade.

God, Feitan loved seeing you like this. If you were his, he would have you crying every second of the day. You looked so pretty with your red-stained eyes, tears rolling over the sides of your lips… Feitan needed to use every ounce of self-control not to taste your tears with his tongue. He could only imagine how sweet your lips must taste mixed with the salt of your tears. If he ever lost self-control and let the tip of his tongue graze your soft cheek, he knew he’d be hooked immediately.

His boss had exquisite taste, that much was clear. You were beautiful, mesmerizing even. Before Chrollo (and partially Feitan), had his way with you, you were smart, calculated. But Chrollo needed you to be obedient, so he made sure you got your punishment when needed, reminding you of your place; below him, under his command.

‘H-how can you smile, Feitan? How can you smile at my pain’, you looked at the man across the table, eyes filled with disgust. ‘How would you like to be robbed away from your life? Your family, friends? How would you like to be locked up inside a fucking prison for the rest of your life?’.

It was quiet for a moment. You could see Feitan was enjoying seeing you like this. You wanted to hurt him, to make him feel like you did.

‘Family? Friends?’, the dark-haired man repeated your words, eyes never leaving yours. ‘Sorry, I forgot you’re a monster’, you chuckled, throwing your plate on the ground, ‘You know what? I pity you. You’ll never know what it’s like to be loved or cared for’.

Feitan followed your every move, but he didn’t reply. He enjoyed seeing you like this, all worked up in that short, black satin nightgown Chrollo forced you to wear.

‘Fuck you, Feitan’, every lack of response driving you further away from your sanity. You waited for his fingers to tap on his thigh again, but he just stared at you, looking at you as if you were the crazy one. ‘Say something!’, you cried out, picking up your glass of wine before throwing it at him.

‘Come now, darling, you know you need to behave’.

You widened your eyes when you could feel his hand around your wrist. His frail appearance made you forget how fast and strong he was. ‘Y-you can’t hurt me, so let go’, your eyes were locked on the broken plate you’d thrown onto the ground. ‘Clean up the mess you’ve made. Now’, Feitan whispered in your ear, nails digging in your skin. ‘N-no’, you pressed your lips together, ‘I’m done being a slave’, you pulled away from his grip, forcing yourself to look at him.

*Tap, tap*

You could feel his nose brushing against your cheek when you heard the soft taps on his pants, ‘Don’t make me call him. I know you would rather be tortured by me than spend a night with him’. ‘I-I’ll call him myself, I don’t care anymore!’, you held out your hand, taking a step back. ‘If you don’t call him, I’ll break your leg, and don’t worry darling. I’ll just tell him you tried to escape and tripped over something’.

You swallowed, heart beating faster at his threat.

‘Give me the phone’, you said firmly, trying to sound unbothered.

Feitan grabbed your other wrist before harshly smacking the phone in your tiny hand.

‘I’ve already dialed his number’, he smirked at you, seeing right through your act.

‘Yes?’. You could feel your body freeze when you heard your kidnapper’s voice on the other side, ‘Feitan?’.

‘I-It’s me’, you softly replied, the reality of the situation now washing over you.

Why were you like this? Why did you need to get yourself into trouble like this? You’d gain some privileges, like a bed, a blanket, some books… Why did you need to do this to yourself?

‘Y/N?’.

You thought he would be surprised, but his voice sounded steady as ever.

‘Y-yes’, you looked into Feitan’s eyes, who were sparkling with joy. ‘Why are you calling me? Where’s Feitan?’, Chrollo began to sound impatient. You had to come up with something, you couldn’t handle another punishment. ‘Ch-chrollo’, you sobbed through the phone, looking at Feitan who, for the first time, seemed confused. ‘Why are you crying?’, ‘H-he… Feitan-‘, ‘I’m getting impatient, what happened Y/N?’.

You smirked at the dark-haired man in front of you, knowing you would try to get him into trouble.

‘He touched me in places I didn’t want to, Chrollo. He forced himself onto me a-and when I told him I’m yours he said that he didn’t care’.

The only thing you could hear over the phone was a sigh, as if you were wasting his time.

‘Hand over the phone, now’, a hint of anger could be detected in Chrollo’s voice. You quickly held out the phone so Feitan could take over.

‘Of course, boss’, ‘Yes’, ‘That’s right’, ‘Okay, I’ll take care of it’.

You frowned at Feitan’s responses, didn’t Chrollo believe you? He was always so protective, and now when you told him that his second man –

‘You really thought he was going to fall for that?’, Feitan looked at the ceiling, ‘You’re so pathetic. Honestly, it isn’t even funny anymore’.

Feitan roughly grabbed your arm, pulling you behind him, moving towards your room while ignoring your cries for him to stop.

‘You brought this on yourself’, he smirked while throwing you on your bed, locking the door behind him. ‘You want to know what he told me?’, Feitan stood over your trembling body, enjoying the view. ‘What?’, you snapped back, tears streaming down your cheek. ‘Do with her whatever you want, use her if you want to, just make sure she doesn’t disrespect me like that again’. ‘D-disrespect?’, you whispered while shuffling away from the edge. ‘Boss said you must think he’s stupid if you thought he was going to fall for that’, Feitan grabbed your ankle, pulling you closer to the edge again. ‘D-don’t touch me’, you said softly, looking at the white sheets underneath you.

‘Take off your nightgown’.

Your eyes immediately shot at the man standing before you, hands shaking.

‘W-what?’, you barely managed to get out as fear took over your lungs, leaving no room for air. ‘Take off your nightgown’, Feitan replied coldly while grabbing your wrist, pulling you closer to him. ‘N-no’, you tried to pull away, but your frail body was no match against his strength. ‘I’ll be gentle if you cooperate’, he let his eyes wander over your body.

Feitan dreamt about this moment. Often daydreaming about your soft skin under his rough digits, how your hair would stick to the side of your head, eyes closed underneath him, soft whimpers leaving your mouth, tears streaming down your cheeks...

‘No’, you started kicking and screaming, giving Feitan even more pleasure. ‘Last chance’, he replied while crawling on the bed, easily pinning you down underneath him.

You closed your eyes, head turned to the side. Should you cooperate? Hoping he kept his word? You didn’t want this, but for some reason, you could feel a small and short-lived flutter in your stomach. Something you’d never experienced underneath Chrollo.

‘O-okay’, you said softly while tensing your entire body, nails digging in the palms of your hands above your head. ‘Good’, Feitan let go of your wrists, pulling away from your body.

You could see him standing in front of the edge again, pulling his shirt over his head. You couldn’t help but stare. His body was toned, not as muscular as Chrollo, but you liked Feitan’s body more. It was completely covered in bruises and scars, but for some reason, it suited him.

You closed your eyes, hating yourself for thinking he looked good. ‘If you don’t remove your clothing now, our deal’s off’, he said threateningly.

You tried to stop your hands from shaking, but it was impossible. Tears started rolling down your cheeks at the thought of him seeing you so vulnerable, but you didn’t have a choice. Maybe he wouldn’t carve the edge of a knife in your skin if you cooperated, maybe he wouldn’t hurt you at all.

‘P-please be gentle’, you whispered while shyly pulling off your nightgown, arm covering your breasts.

Feitan couldn’t help but let out a soft hum when he could see your body. You looked perfect to him, more than perfect even. Yes, his boss surely had good taste. He adored the way your head was turned towards the side, looking at the sheets in shame, cheeks blushing; the way you had your legs firmly pressed together, your hand lingering over your left breast while your arm covered up the other.

‘Fuck’, Feitan groaned while he slowly crawled onto the bed. You whimpered in fear when you could feel his digits running over the crook of your neck before he gently placed your hair on your other shoulder.

Chrollo was never like this. He never took the time to let his fingers wander over your soft skin.

‘If he didn’t take you with him that day, I would’ve’, he whispered in your ear.

He let his lips hover over your neck before moving to your bare shoulder, softly placing a kiss on it.

‘You like that?’, he looked at you from the corner of his eyes, his hand resting on your shoulder, ‘You like me being gentle with you for once?’.

You tried to control your breathing, to stop any sound that wanted to escape from your lips, but it had been so long since you’ve felt a touch as gentle as his.

‘I know he takes you for granted’, Feitan continued, his fingers now softly tracing over your back, ‘Know he doesn’t take care of you’.

Your mind started to race. What if this was some sick test of Chrollo? To see if you were loyal to him? You could only imagine what he would do to you when you failed.

‘C-chrollo’s the only one I want’, you lied, eyes still closed, ‘He takes care of me’.

You could feel Feitan pulling away from your skin, hand grabbing your jaw, forcing you to look into his cold eyes.

‘Is that why I can hear you cry, begging him to stop every time?’. Feitan smiled when he could see the confused look on your face, ‘There are always people guarding his bedroom door Y/N, thought you knew that by now. He wants us to hear you, so that everyone knows you’re his. Even the boss can see how those sick fucks look at you, how I look at you’. ‘I-isn’t this a test?’, you whimpered, looking into his grey eyes. ‘A test?’, Feitan sighed at your stupid remark, ‘No, he really told me I could do with you what I want, so that’s what I’m going to do’.

His hand grabbed the arm that was covering your breasts, breaking it free from its place.

‘Please stop’, you quickly placed your other arm in the same spot, ‘Please, I don’t want this. I’m sorry I tried to-‘.

Your words were cut short when Feitan placed his hand on your mouth, softly squishing your cheeks together.

‘We had a deal’, he roughly removed your arm again, ‘I know I’ve hurt you before, but I want you to enjoy this as much as I’m going to’.

His free hand gently cupped your breast, low grunts escaping from his mouth. You couldn’t help but feel tense, hands tugging at the sheets underneath you.

‘I’m going to remove my hand, okay?’, Feitan coldly looked into your eyes. He loved the feeling of your tears on his hand, but he wanted to hear your sweet voice when he touched you.

‘Just relax’, he let his lips brush over yours before he crashed them against your cherry red ones. ‘God, I’m addicted to you already. You taste so sweet, and the salt of your tears is just the cherry on top’.

You wished you didn’t melt into his touch, that you didn’t let soft moans escape from your mouth when his fingers played with your hard nipples. He was definitely different from Chrollo. Chrollo only used you, but Feitain seemed to be interested in your pleasure too.

‘See?’, he broke the kiss, ‘I told you that you were going to enjoy this, no need to hide it. Let me hear your sweet voice’. You jolted when he pushed you down, back pressed against the sheets. ‘Happy Chrollo’s away so much’, he mumbled against your breast, softly biting the soft skin, ‘I’m going to take you whenever I feel like it’.

‘A-ah’.

You quickly placed both of your hands on your mouth when you realized a loud moan escaped from your mouth. ‘I’m a sick person’, your mind started racing, ‘How can I enjoy this. He’s forcing himself on me, a murderer, a person who loves to torture people’.

‘Hm?’, Feitan smirked at your reaction, his eyes looking up into yours, ‘You like when I claim you for myself? When I tell you that I’m going to use you whenever the boss’s gone?’. ‘N-no!’, you pushed against his shoulders, trying to get away from him. ‘Don’t’, his cold voice washed over you like a cold shower, ‘Do something like that again, and our deal’s off’.

For a couple of minutes, you could feel his hands groping your body, unfamiliar lips kissing you in places even Chrollo never had.

‘N-no!’, you couldn’t help but close your legs when you could feel his digits running across the fabric of your slip. ‘No? Are you sure?’, he forced your legs back open with his knee, his nose now brushing against your ear, ‘Because it feels like you’ve already made quite the mess’.

‘Shit’, you pressed your lips together, hands nervously tucking at the sheets. You could feel how wet you were when the night's cold air brushed over your panties. You felt disgusted with yourself that you enjoyed his touch.

‘Tell me’, his voice sounded steady, ‘Are you always this wet for my boss? Because I can understand that he doesn’t listen to your cries when your body gives you away like this’.

He swiftly pulled the fabric aside, letting one finger slip inside your entrance.

‘Hmpf’, you arched your back when you could feel his finger slowly pumping in and out of you. ‘Answer me’, he stopped his movement before he grabbed your jaw with his free hand, ‘Are you this wet for my boss?’. ‘N-no’, another tear streamed down your cheek, ‘N-never made a mess like this’. ‘Thought so’, he whispered before kissing you again.

You could feel a metallic taste in your mouth after he pulled away again. You knew he bit so hard on your bottom lip on purpose, but you didn’t mind, this was him being as gentle as he could be.

‘Can’t wait anymore’. His voice sounded lower, more rough than usual, ‘Turn over’.

He placed his hands underneath your back, effortlessly flipping you over.

Feitan swiftly got rid of your soaked panties before you could hear him undo his buckle. ‘Relax, okay?’, he hovered over you, placing soft kisses on the scars on your back, the scars he caused.

He could look at them for hours. It felt to him as if you were a canvas and he the artist. Every scar was carefully placed there on purpose as he took the revealing nightgown you wore every night into consideration. He wanted to make sure he could see them as often as possible.

‘N-no’, you pressed your eyelids together, ‘Not like this’. ‘Darling I think you’re getting the wrong idea he-‘, ‘I don’t care!’, you interrupted him, ‘You’re just like Chrollo. I’m tired of being treated like a puppet’, you cried out, body shaking uncontrollably with every sob. ‘I’ve been kidnapped, tortured, and abused. Is it really too much to ask to look at the person who’s using my body for their own pleasure? Or are you another coward, like Chrollo? Afraid you’ll feel sick when you can see the fear and pain in my eyes when you're using me?’.

For the first time in his life, Feitan felt a certain degree of sadness when he heard your broken voice.

‘Chrollo never looks at me, always turning me around, pushing my face into the mattress. W

Always whispering in my ear how this is my fault, that he wouldn’t have to turn me around if I’d give into him’, you placed both of your hands against your eyelids in embarrassment.

Feitan didn’t respond. He couldn’t. Instead, he slowly moved away from your naked body.

‘You want to know what he tells me when he’s done?’, you pushed yourself away from the sheets, looking over your shoulders.

You noticed how Feitan couldn’t look into your eyes.

‘Sorry for hurting you Y/N. I’m so sorry for doing this to you, please forgive me’, tears kept rolling down your cheeks as you repeated the words Chrollo said to you. ‘So, forgive me if I, for once, want to look at the person who's using my body’.

Feitan didn’t respond. He tried to get used to the new feeling you’d introduced him to, the feeling of guilt.

He got out of bed, putting his clothes back on. You were right, how could he ever do this to you, how could he place his own desires above yours? This wasn’t the same as torture, he didn’t enjoy this.

‘Don’t leave’, you whimpered when you could see he made way to the door, ‘I’m sorry’. ‘Sorry?’, Feitan frowned, confused by your actions. ‘I forgot my place. I shouldn’t have said those things’.

You slowly started to realize what the alternative could be. What if Feitan decided to drag you into the basement with him again? You couldn’t handle the pain, not now. You’d rather give your body to him.

‘Okay’, he replied coldly before placing his hand on the doorknob, trying to ignore the ache in his chest. ‘W-wait!’, you quickly stood up from your bed, sheets wrapped around your naked body. ‘What?’, his voice sounded as disinterested as ever.

You tried to understand what was wrong with you. For some reason, you really didn’t want him to leave, already missing his gentle touch.

‘Don’t waste my time’, he sighed when you didn’t respond, turning his back towards you.

‘Wait, please’, you said softly, hand gently grabbing his.

Feitan froze at your unexpected touch. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone grabbed his hand like that, the last time he felt the warm touch only a woman can give.

‘Don’t go’, you let your forehead rest against his shoulder, ‘Close the door and pretend I’m yours for one night. That’s what you wanted, right?’.

You’d stopped fighting your desires. Just for one night, you could be selfish, you could allow yourself to feel good. After all the torture, the abuse, … You’d earned the right to feel good, even if it was at the hands of a criminal.

‘You made it clear you didn’t want me to Y/N’. Feitan wanted to remove his hand from yours, to break free from the spell you’d put him under, but your touch felt so good, so kind. Even after everything he’d put you through, there was not a hint of hate in your energy towards him right now. ‘Didn’t want you to use me’, you pulled away from his shoulders, begging eyes meeting his cold ones, ‘Don’t want you to use me like Chrollo does’.

Feitan frowned at your words. He tried to make sense of everything that was happening, but it felt impossible to figure out what you wanted. Were you just offering yourself to him because you were afraid of what the consequences might be, or did you truly want this as much as he did?

‘C-can I touch you?’, you asked timidly, eyes fixed on the ground. ‘Yes’, Feitan responded almost immediately, desperate for your touch.

‘H-huh’, Feitan widened his eyes when he could feel your soft hand cupping his cheek, thumb gently stroking over his ivory white skin. ‘Y-you don’t like this? I can do whatever you like, just tell me and-‘, ‘Feels nice’.

Feitan didn’t want to sound desperate, but if you’d stopped now, he would feel lost, lonely even.

An insecure smile appeared on your face. Feitan was normally never so cooperative, let alone so vulnerable. Because this was him being vulnerable, he submitted himself to your touch, even telling you it made him feel good.

You slowly took your hand from his cheek while taking a step back, letting the sheets you’d wrapped around your body drop onto the ground, ‘P-please make me feel good’.

Feitan widened his eyes, breath shaking with desire when you displayed your naked body like that. The thought of you asking him to make you feel good, knowing you’d never asked Chrollo anything like that made his brain clouded with pleasure.

‘I was planning to before you decided to open that mouth of yours’, he walked towards you, not realizing how harsh he sounded. ‘S-sorry, don’t hurt me’, you whimpered in fear, eyes closed while you flinched. ‘Sorry’, a warm hand grabbed yours, ‘I know I’m … me’, he rolled his eyes at how soft he was, ‘But I can be gently and sweet if I want to be’.

Your eyes flew open in shock when you could feel his soft lips against your cheek while he intertwined both of his hands in yours.

‘Can you sit down on your bed for me?’. For the first time, he asked you something instead of ordering you around. You slowly nodded your head while doing so.

‘Are you cold?’, he asked while taking off his shirt, ‘N-no’, you shook your head, legs rubbing against each other, looking at Feitan who was standing before you. ‘Did you ever have someone before Chrollo?’, Feitan placed a hand in his pocket, trying to look uninterested. ‘No’, you lowered your eyes at the memory of your first time. You always thought it would be something you wanted to remember, but you would give everything to forget Chrollo’s touch.

For some reason, Feitan felt sorry for you. If you were his, if he took you with him that day, he would’ve asked you and made sure you would’ve felt good. You probably wouldn’t want him to, but at least he would’ve been gentle.

Feitan softly placed his hand around your neck, letting his nose brush against yours before kissing you, gentle this time. ‘Let me make up for it’, he whispered in between kisses, letting his hand rest on your knees before softly pushing your legs open. You tried to close them; it was a reflex you couldn’t control. ‘I won’t hurt you’, Feitan got down on his knees, wanting nothing more than to see your most private part.

Soft moans escaped from your mouth while you were biting down on the tip of your thumb. Feitan was kissing softly on the bundle of nerves between your legs. You’ve never felt anything like it, the hot sensation in between your thighs, the vibrations of his moans against your most sensitive spot…

‘You can let go’, he whispered while letting his finger slide in your entrance, ‘I know you want to; I can feel you clenching around my finger’. ‘Hm’, you pressed your eyelids together, feeling the heat rise to your stomach.

He couldn’t keep his eyes away from your pretty face. You looked so cute with your cheeks red, a drop of sweat softly sliding down your temple, the shy moans escaping from your lips. Feitan loved every second of it.

‘I know you can do it’, he whispered against your slit, ‘You’ve been such a good girl already’.

His praises were all you needed to find your relief. Legs trying to press against each other, your whole body shaking, … It was something you’d never experienced before, but it only made you want more. You wanted Feitan. Even though it was sick to want someone like him, someone who enjoys torturing people.

‘First time?’, he smirked before softly pushing you against the mattress. He was quick to crawl on top of you, afraid your high was over. ‘Hm’, you blushed, avoiding eye contact. ‘You okay?’, his voice sounded concerned, making you wonder if he really was Feitain. The Feitan you knew would never be concerned about someone. ‘Y-yes’, you smiled, softly placing your hands on the back of his neck, ‘Can I kiss you again?’. ‘Stupid question’, he murmured before letting his hand rest on your collarbone, ‘You can do whatever you want’.

You’d spent some time letting your hands explore Feitan’s toned body while you melted under his soft lips. He tasted so sweet, as if he’d eaten a dozen strawberries.

‘You’re really pretty’, his voice crashed into your thoughts, bringing you back into reality. ‘I always thought so, especially when you cry’. You widened your eyes at him, trying to grasp what he’d just told you. It was sick that he liked it when you cried, but you never thought he would say something so intimately. ‘Sorry’, the dark-haired man chuckled above you, ‘I know it’s twisted to find you pretty when you’re sad’. ‘Y-you’re pretty too’, you pulled him closer, letting your body grind against his leg that he’d placed between yours.

‘You want this?’, his breathing sounded heavy, impatient. ‘More than anything’, your hand found its way to his pants, motioning for him to take them off.

That was all he needed to hear. Feitan didn’t have the patience to take them completely off, so he just pulled it a bit lower, his underwear along with it.

‘Hmpf’, you jolted when you could feel his member against your entrance, his tip softly pushing against it.

Feitan gently placed his hand underneath your chin, forcing you to look into his eyes.

‘Feitan’, your eyes sparkled when you could see a smile on his face. His eyes never looked so kind before. ‘Don’t want to hurt you, but you’re going to feel me stretching you out a bit. Tell me if it’s too much, okay?’.

Your eyes slammed shut when you could feel him pressing into you, body tensing up. He was big, bigger than Chrollo, but it didn’t hurt as much. Feitan made sure you were ready for him.

‘Fuck, you’re tight’, a low grunt escaped from his lips while he tried to see if you were doing okay, ‘You can take me, right? You can be a good girl for me, huh?’. He placed a swift kiss on the soft skin of your neck, trying his best to hold back.

‘Y-you can move’, a whisper was all you could manage, overwhelmed by the pleasure he gave you once you got used to his size.

After that, Feitan lost it. He was love drunk, no one ever made him feel like you.

‘F-feitan’, you moaned out his name, nails digging into his shoulders, ‘F-faster please’. ‘Who feels better?’, his lips brushed against your earlobe, ‘You’re going to think of me when he takes you again? Wishing it was me who was inside you?’. ‘Hm’, a short answer was all you could pull off. There was no way you could form a whole sentence anymore. ‘Want me to claim you every time he’s gone? Want to make this our little secret?’. ‘Please, can’t live without this anymore’.

You could feel his thrusts getting sloppier, while the knot inside your stomach started to come undone again.

‘Going to fill you up, okay? Want to- fuck’, he grunted out, trying to catch his breath, ‘Want to be sure the boss fucks you with my come inside you. Want me to take you before he comes home? Maybe he’ll notice my come dripping out of you, you’d like that?’.

His dirty words send you over the edge. Legs shaking underneath him, your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him as close as possible against your body.

‘G-good girl’, he placed a sloppy kiss on your lips, ‘Now be good one last time and make sure you take everything, okay?’, ‘Promise’, you kissed him while you could feel him painting your velvety walls white.

Feitan quickly stood up, pulling his pants back up.

‘W-wait’, your voice was shaking, quickly covering your naked body underneath the sheets, ‘Can you stay a bit longer, please’. ‘Wasn’t going anywhere’, he brushed through his hair. ‘Just wanted to get a towel to clean you up’.

Feitan headed to the bathroom, bringing back a hot towel to wipe you clean.

‘Boss won’t be back for a couple of days’, he sat next to you on your bed, voice sounding insecure, ‘Want me to-‘.

Feitan paused. He could feel his heart melting when he looked at you. He didn’t want this, the warm feeling you gave him, but it felt like he couldn’t live without it anymore. He’d gone soft for you.

‘You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to’, you turned your back towards him, crawling into a little ball. ‘I would hold you like this every night if I could, Y/N’.

His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to him.

‘Don’t know how I’m going to control myself when he’s back, can’t stand to hear you scream like that anymore’.

He knew it was wrong for him to be so honest, knowing you could take advantage of him. Because if you’d ask, he’d run away with you, not caring that he would live his entire life in hiding. If he had you, as long as he could smell your scent, it would be more than enough for him.

‘Can you hold me more often when he’s away’, you whispered, a lump formed in your throat when thinking about Chrollo. ‘I’ll be here every night when he’s gone, I promise Y/N’.

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