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A candle

and again i find myself

smiling at my phone.

love is softer than i remember it being.

it's also much calmer.

A wildfire i thought myself to be

turned into a candle

lit in Your room the first night i spent there.

Instead of uncontrollable bursts

i want to light up the room softly,

make it cozy, fill it with a sweet, faint smell of love.

i no longer seem scary or hurtful to myself.

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ostatnia lekcja

tak niedawno

jeździłem do szkoły samemu.

szara codzienność pchała mnie

ku temu dziwnemu budynkowi

który tak bardzo na mnie wpłynął.

potem

jeździłaś ze mną.

kompanka w codziennej drodze

zawsze z ciekawą historią

czasem z zeszytem w ręku

dzień po dniu.

pod koniec

zabierałem Cię tam samochodem.

przy dźwiękach muzyki z kaset

naszych rodziców.

Nawet nie myślałem o końcu.

teraz

jedziesz do szkoły sama.

szare chmury wiodą Cię

ku temu dziwnemu budynkowi

który tak bardzo na Ciebie wpłynął.

Ostatnia lekcja już za chwilę.

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Escape

run. run. run.

stuck in my bed.

stuck in my life.

just like a hare

hearing twigs snap,

i will run away

and never turn back.

i'll leave it behind,

my safe and old home,

to find someplace where

i'll never be known.

run. run. run.

stuck in my bed.

stuck in my life.

i fret to be loved.

can i even be?

i tried it and got

pain, nausea and fear.

maybe if i run

long and far enough

i'll outrun those thoughts

that i wish to snuff.

run. run. run.

stuck in my bed.

stuck in my life.

this dream of my burns,

but where do i race?

what makes of my mind

do i even chase?

for now i just wish

that there will be one

day in this life when

i'll finally run.

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Hi! yesterday was horrible, so I wrote a poem about how I feel!

On thin ice

i am a lake frozen over. 

You might see the surface and think:

"it's solid. unchanging. 

stable, just how I like it" 

but deep down there's a never ending flux

of currents, flows, emotions, expressions. 

You might step on the surface, 

equate yourself to the being 

that You claim to worship,

and think yourself safe. 

but when You try to abuse the ice,

that's thinner than you think,

You will fall in and understand. 

You will understand how a fluid

that brings me life

can drown You.

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Oh please, please, never let me forget how wonderful it is to be alive.

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a hole in my soul

even though You aren't here with me anymore

i know where you fit within my soul.

there's a gaping hole in the shape of the gem that You are

and that You took when you left.

it hurts the worst when i'm not looking,

when i am too busy or tired to care.

but when i catch a glimpse of the dark void that i am without You

i pity myself.

forgive me.

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Amber

Your brown eyes keep me

like a breathtaking prison,

like an amber enveloping an ancient mosquito.

in my stomach still a drop of love for You i'll never get rid of.

and just as it must have realized it would never break free,

i do too.

and i'm fine with it.

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i feel the most angelic when the sun starts to rise

as the stars begin to fall from our sky

endless black is replaced with an ocean of blue 

 limitless compared to what my form can comprehend now.

------

The golden light that spills onto the wet dewed grass in the early mornings is the closest thing I'll find that perfectly describes what my soul used to feel like.

----

((a few scribbles of poetry that I thought about while working. you'll have to excuse this being on anon, I'm nervous about my writing and not many ppl on my main blog know I'm angelkin🩷 I hope you feel powerful today)) 🪽

wonderful pieces, into my poetry box they go! thank you for sharing. I hope you find more things that reflect the warmth of your soul, it sounds divine, as it should

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I hope the warmest sunlight shines upon your face.

I hope your biggest smiles never seem to fade.

I hope it's as warm inside as the grin you choose to show.

And I hope your wildest dreams won't let you give up hope.

You're a poet, my favorite mysterious anon. I wish I was half as happy as You hope I am. I'd love to chat with you some day, if that's ok. I'd like to know to whom I owe so much gratitude for keeping my spirits high even when the days are rough.

And of course

i hope You get what you deserve.

Clear skies and a slight breeze to guide you to your destination.

A warm cup of Your favorite tea in Your favorite mug by the window overlooking a scenery as lush with the most beautiful flowers as your heart is with the purest of love.

i hope the world is as kind to you as you are to me

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what

it wouldn't work in a million years

so why do i feel

it could be so

perfect

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jak każdy

ponownie upadam. pamięć, przywodząca poprzednie przestrogi, zamiast pomagać przeszkadza.

jak pojąć przeszłość przy grzmiacym brzmieniu teraźniejszości, burzącym drżące jak w gorączce miraże rzeczywistości?

proszę Pana o przebaczenie za grzechy, płacząc potulnie przy płaszczu Poteżnego. patrzy. podnosi prawicę i poblażliwie odpuszcza pędrakowi.

mi.

ale odpust oznacza ogrom roboty. poprzeczka powieszona o poziom za wysoko spogląda z pogardą.

rozbieg. odbicie. porażka.

—ponownie!

rozbieg, odbicie, porażka.

—ponownie!

pobladłem. ponownie? ponownie upokorzyć się przed sobą? po raz wtóry runąć prawie pewien porażki?

strzepuję kurz. krztyna wewnętrznego przeświadczenia o czekającej przyszłości jednak przeważa szale szału powtórzeń.

ponownie powstaję. rozbieg. odbicie.

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Hey everyone, I wrote a poem!

hunger

i yearn.

the insufferable sensation of starvation follows me. step by step.

some sustenance comes from sparce bites, but just as a snippet scarcely constitutes a text, a bite barely be enough to bring me back from the brink of oblivion.

i yearn.

not for food, for the fleeting feeling of full gullet fails to satisfy what lay deeper.

neither for a flame of fury, finally cleansing my feeble flesh of innocence inherent to the inexperienced. an inconsolable inferno.

both of them vain.

i yearn.

crying tears of ricin, restlessly pouring from my face, rushing through the cracks of my epidermis right past my ribs into the bloodstream, i reach for an answer to my prayers.

i crave closeness. a kind of kinship uncommon in the contemporary. i care not for the carnage comming to consume me while carving a rough path through the hell of solitude.

i hunger for a hand to hold. a hearty heart to heart.

i yearn.

for You.