heavenlyhopeful0

[heavenlyhopeful0]

Well hello everyone! Long time no see.

I decided to write because apparently today’s the second birthday of my blog.

Honestly life happened and I left this blog in the dust. I think it’s time dust it off and get back to it.

I finally found my purpose meant for this life; to write, and to write anything I can get my hands on.

It’s a plug, but someone has to do it. I’ve got a wip, Buck Wilde Love that I just finished writing chapter 4 for, I’ve got this lovely blog, as well as something else that’s coming May of 2025 that I will share as it gets closer.

As of now I’m working on simple things to make them into habits so I can live my best life, things like walking every 30 minutes, lifting my legs when I walk, spending 20 minutes cleaning my room.

Regarding my HSP, I had stopped taking my baclofen because it just wasn’t doing anything. I seemed to have gotten worse so I tried it again after mom got me another prescription recently but it’s still doing absolutely nothing.

Todd, my PT, finally gave me some more exercises to do. They’re definitely a challenge but I’m determined to make my life the best it can be, but it’s about taking small steps every day, not arriving and saying “Ok, I don’t have to do that ever again.”

Life is all about the habits you create.

[heavenlyhopeful0]

February 29, 2024

It’s great to be 8!

Haha I’m really 32.

What’s a bit ironic is today isn’t just my birthday but also Rare Disease Awareness Day. And my little dumpling Tubayon’s 4th birthday.

Today will be fun. Mom’s taking me for a pedicure at two.

We’re having Juicy’s burgers and French fries for dinner and I get apple pie on Saturday when my family comes to celebrate my birthday.

Also I’ve been meaning to update, I finally get to see Todd on the 11th for PT!

See ya soon!!

[heavenlyhopeful0]

Good morning y’all.

I just realized I needed to post an update.

I finally found out that Todd, my pt, had an open heart surgery. That’s why I haven’t been to pt in about a month.

I talked to his step daughter and she told me he’s doing well and would be doing a dry run to see what all he can do as he continues to heal from the surgery. I should be getting a call with more of an update any day now.

Another exciting thing I realized I never shared is Todd told me I didn’t have to use my afos (ankle foot orthotics) anymore if I didn’t want to.

Yeah I ditched those in a blink of an eye.

I have been exercising as I have not had a physical therapy session in a while.

Most days I find myself on the struggle bus before completing my workout but I always feel better once it’s done.

I’ve gotten back into writing, even if it’s only fan fiction. One of these days a storyline and plot will come to me. 

See ya next time!

[heavenlyhopeful0]

Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Summary: Dean takes you to get your Devil's trap tattoo.

TW: Fluff, fear of needles, comforting, handholding, tattoos, flirting.

Dean and Y/N sat in the two flimsy wooden chairs out in the waiting room of the tattoo parlor.

Dean was leaned back in his chair, scrolling on his phone quietly while they waited for the tattoo artist to be ready.

Y/N was understandably anxious, she had always had a horrible fear of needles. The thought of laying still for hours while needles stabbed into her skin made her heart pound in her chest.

She rested her fist against the center of her chest as she attempted to calm her racing heart with a few deep breaths.

Dean looked up from his cellphone as Y/N sighed for probably the tenth time since they had sat down.

His eyes flickered down to her knee as it bounced quickly, channelling her nervous energy into the repeated movement.

Dean tucked his phone into his pocket before he reached over and rested his hand on her knee.

He brushed his thumb back and forth soothingly, "Calm down, baby," Dean said.

Y/N huffed, "Sorry," She muttered, "Don't be," Dean smiled.

Y/N rested her hand over his and interlocked their fingers. Dean brushed his thumb over the side of her hand gently.

"It's gonna be fine, okay? I'll be right there with you the whole time" He assured.

...

Y/N was laid on her stomach as the artist moved the tattoo gun over the skin of her shoulder blade.

She grimaced, her breathing starting to pick up as the pain became too much for her to handle.

"Hey, just hold onto me, alright?" Dean said, pulling her attention to him.

"Squeeze my hand," Dean offered, taking her hand in his.

Dean smiled slightly as her grip tightened on his hand, her nails biting into his skin. She could hold onto him for hours if she needed to.

"There you go, sweetheart, just keep squeezing," Dean instructed, holding her hand in both of his.

Dean held onto her hand the entire time, thumb brushing across the back of her palm reassuringly. He was actually impressed by the sheer strength of her grip.

Dean was sure that his hand was bleeding from how deep her fingernails were dug into his flesh, but he wouldn't dare say a word.

The tattoo artist sat back, wiping the tattoo down with a nod, "All finished," He said.

Y/N let go of Dean's hand with a deep exhale. Dean stood up from his seat, looking down at her shoulder blade with a whistle.

"Looks good, sweetheart," Dean said.

"Wanna take a look?" The artist asked.

Y/N nodded, standing up from the bench and turning her back to the mirror. Dean pulled her hair out of the way gently, allowing her to see the tattoo.

"It looks great. Thank you," She said.

"No problem," The artist smiled, carefully laying a bandage over it before giving her directions for how to care for the tattoo.

Dean paid at the front desk and they made their way out of the shop, walking down the sidewalk towards the Impala.

"Wanna get some ice cream on the way home? Since you were so brave?" He asked with a smirk.

Y/N shoved him with a smile, "Shut up, you ass," She said.

Dean smiled, catching her wrist and pulling her body into his side. His arm wrapped around her waist as they walked.

"You look really hot with that tattoo, baby," He said.

"Good, because I won't be getting any more," She smiled.

"Not even if I hold your hand?" Dean questioned.

"I'd think about it," Y/N stated.

[heavenlyhopeful0]

Happy 2024 y’all!

I promise I am very much alive and well, despite yet again falling off the edge of the Tumblr world.

As far as health updates, something strange happened with my physical therapy. My therapist is out for the month of January.

So I’m managing.

Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

With that said, I decided to do something different.

I don’t wanna spoil it or jinx myself so I’ll leave you by saying I’m laying low for six months to focus on becoming the best version of myself.

It’s about damn time.

Stay tuned 😉

Love, Chelsey

[heavenlyhopeful0]

Hello again friends.

It has been quite a while since I filled y’all in on what is happening in my life.

Unfortunately my PT, Nancy has moved back to California leaving me and her other clients without a therapist.

Despite thinking I was SOL, my aunt told me about one of the PT’s she has seen.

Mom and I figured I may as well and I am so glad I did.

This physical therapist, Todd, is a damn miracle worker.

He has a completely different approach to my therapy.

“Therapy for her is 30% science and 70% art.” Todd said last Monday.

He does what is called myofascial release; “is a therapy technique often used in massage. This therapy is focused on pain that comes from myofascial tissues — the tough coverings that wrap, connect and support muscles.”

He also told me to lay down and practice diaphragm breathing because when someone breaths this way they are able to breathe deeper, better, and they get far more oxygen.

I’ve only seen Todd twice but I’m already seeing and feeling positive effects.

As a whole I’m so much calmer, it’s helping my anxiety, I’m a lot happier, I sleep better, I’m noticing my adductors are much more relaxed ( I’m able to sit and not have my thighs glued together) and the biggest change, I have so much less spasticity!

To realize God had this change of loosing my pt, only to find another pt who would give me hope that my goals (hopefully ditching the walker, and maybe even my meds) was actually a real possibility.

All in all, it makes me frustrated that something so simple could have been the key. It makes me wonder how true the HSP diagnosis is.

[heavenlyhopeful0]

Hello again.

Well today was the end of a long journey.

I finally have a firm diagnosis and name to the physical issues that plague my body.

Hereditary Spastic Paraplegia of SPG 11.

Mom, my brother, and I drove to the state line and had a zoom meeting with Dr. Rajkovic from UCSF’s genetic team.

I have a Bialleic mutation of the SPG 11 gene.

It’s an autosomal recessive HSP.

So both my parents happen to be carriers of the gene in question, so there’s 1 in 4 chance of a child (me) having the issue.

BUT! BUT! BUT!

I CAN HAVE BABIES!

The doc said its a 1 in 1,000 chance for my babies to have this mutation to the SPG 11 gene because finding another man with the same gene issue is basically close to impossible.

Hallelujah!!!

Now…

I have the diagnosis.

I refuse to let this rule my life.

This is my vow to everyone who reads this blog post,

I will put the effort in.

I will keep moving, strengthening my body, and stretching.

I will keep my mind sharp by playing brain games and reading.

I recently realized I want to pursue a career in writing, becoming an author.

I will continue to work on my mindset.

I have an opportunity to just maybe stop myself from getting worse.

I will take these steps one day at time. Eat the elephant one small bite at a time.

[heavenlyhopeful0]

A quick update.

I promise I didn’t fall off the face of the earth.

A lot has happened since I last posted.

I went back down to San Francisco and met with Dr. Abrams, a rehab neurologist. He put me on Baclofen to help my spasticity. I’ve had no side effects and am able to walk easier and flex my feet on my own again.

I finally feel like things are starting to fall into place.

[heavenlyhopeful0]

Things got away from me last week, but I’ve got some fun things to update y’all on.

Last Friday I got my new AFOs. I’m still breaking them in and getting used to them. I like them a lot. Aaron, the guy who got me my AFO’s also got me some nifty shoes to wear with them.

After much consideration and asking around, I made the decision to sponsor a child through Compassion International.

A couple weeks ago I was scrolling through Facebook and an ad popped up to sponsor a child with your same birthday.

Being the curious cat I was I put my birthday (February 29) in Compassion’s search bar.

The minute I saw him. I just knew. It was love at first sight.

His name is Tubayon. Today he is 3 years old and lives in Khagrachhari, Bangledesh with his parents and older brother.

I know I’m just his sponsor, but part of me feels like I adopted the little guy.

God knows my desire for a family, especially having a little boy of my own and I have a feeling this is only the start of God’s promises, In whatever package they come, being fulfilled in my life.

I can’t explain how excited I am to be a part of his life now and be able to watch him grow up and help him get the schooling he needs and help give him a chance to have a personal relationship with Jesus.

Taking on this responsibility also gives me a stronger and deeper desire to be better in every aspect of my life.

As today being little Tuby’s (I gave him that nickname) birthday it is also mine! Happy birthday to us.

I’m hoping for Starbucks and Chick Fil A. I’m still wishing for my future husband… but that’s a story for another time.

[heavenlyhopeful0]

Sorry for the late update. Life has once again gotten away from me. Clearly, I need to work on my routines. 😅

As far as updates go, I’m still undiagnosed, still waiting on a miracle.

I will be getting new AFOs (ankle foot orthotics) on Friday.

I’m looking forward to those.

They are the ones that another one of Nancy’s patients has that I tried at the clinic about a month ago.

Aaron, the AFO guy, said he could make me AFOs made specifically for me, but they would be made out of plastic, not as bulky as my first ones but I’m still hesitant.

I’ve come to really like the carbon fiber ones I’ve tried.

In other news, I’ve started a 6 month challenge, if you will, to focus. Focus on myself and the aspects of my life that need a little tweaking.

It’s a lot but its also over 6 months.

In no particular order,

1) I’m taking a hiatus from men and dating.

That’s a whole other story, nobody got time for that 😅

I still strongly desire a husband but I’ve come to realize maybe these next six months are just what I neeed to prepare myself for my future for what and who I want to enter my life.

2) I’m going to spend this time growing in my relationship with God.

I desire to become the woman that the Bible talks about. Ruth and Esther are good examples. I also want to become a godly wife for my future husband.

3) I’m going to be fighting like hell to get my body back, as much as will be possible with my condition.

I know I need to work a whole lot harder on keeping active and doing more to get more out of the physical aspects.

4) I’m going to continue working on my mental health in every way that I can.

I’m becoming more into self help books and podcasts. I’m currently listening to Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression on audio book. I recently bought a couple books off Amazon; You are a Badass and UnF*ck Your Brain. I’m shooting to read a book every month for this challenge.

5) I’m going to hone in on my routines and habits.

Lord knows I can always work on my morning and night routines. Water consumption could also be better. And getting on a better laundry schedule is needed

6) I’m going to get organized and get my environments in ship shape.

My room definitely needs a lot of attention. I desire to live in a state of peace not the unorganized chaos.

I have a lot to look forward to these next 6 months, all that I can say is God, lead me where you want me to go!

[heavenlyhopeful0]

Well damn, hey y’all.

I am breathing and my heart is pumping.

I did not fall off the face of the earth.

Yet.

Sorry for the hiatus, I’ve had a lot going on to the point I let my updates slip through my fingers.

Majority of it was was a bad bout of depression, which hasn’t gone away but I’m getting better at pushing through.

A lot has happened in the 3 week hiatus; pulling teeth to get my appointment to see my neurologist and get an appointment to get new AFOs. Pulling teeth to get my genetics appointment with UCSF and the Neurologist/ Rehab doctor at UCSF.

Thankfully, I saw my neurologist earlier today. He got the letter to write the referral for my new AFOs, and he gave me a new prescription for baclofen to try again for my spasticity. Also I applied for some parking placards.

My genetic appointment is in June, via Zoom. Apparently I have to be in California for that which makes 0 sense.

And I see the Rehab doc, Dr. Abrams, March 7 at one o’clock.

I’m going to try some other non med options that are said to help spasticity. If I can manage my spasticity more naturally, I’d definitely want to go that route instead of the meds.

These include:

1. Workouts

2. Stretching

3. A vibration platform

These things I’ve already been doing regularly.

The other options include:

4. Cherry juice

5. Chamomile tea

6. Chamomile essential oil to rub into the spastic area

7. Blueberry smoothies

8. Bananas

9. Almonds

10. Yoga/ Pilates

11. Magnesium

Honestly, I’m 1000% overwhelmed.

So, my spasticity is the next goal on my list that I am working to take care of. Hopefully, once I can get a better handle on it, I’ll be able to start driving again and ditch my walker officially.

Until next time,

[heavenlyhopeful0]

Hey y’all!

I do have a couple updates.

I’ve been keeping a workout and stretching routine in the morning.

I do notice myself slowly getting better.

Not gonna lie though, I board the struggle bus the minute I wake up.

The other update is Nancy bought me some inexpensive AFO’s (leg and foot brace) to replace the foot drop ankle straps I had before.

They are a thin hard plastic the supports my ankles.

They definitely do help me walk easier.

Now I just need to put my focus on my balance and practice walking without my walker.

I have walked a few steps without my walker, so it’s progress not perfection.

Nancy is going to talk to Aaron, the guy who made my last AFO’s and write a justification for my insurance to pay for them.

This has proven to be a lot more difficult in getting a new pair that are more fitted to me.

Nancy just texted me and told me she will try to contact the prosthetist tomorrow between her meetings.

Then I need to be seen by my neurologist to write the referral for the AFO’s. I have an appointment to see Aaron next Friday, so then mom and I will get the notes to take to my neurologist so I can get a referral for new AFO’s.

It’s kind of ridiculous to be having to go through all these extra steps because my neurologist… I have choice words for him… he’s never been of any help to me with what I’ve gone through unfortunately.

But it is what it is, gotta do what I need to to get what I need.

[heavenlyhopeful0]

Love and Pies

So I was thinking last week after I posted my last update.

I realized my life was oddly similar to the popular app game, Love and Pies.

It’s an addicting merge game I have on my phone.

It’s about this single mom , Amelia, who moves to her hometown to help her mom run the family’s cafe.

When Amelia and her daughter Kate arrive, they find the cafe burned to the ground and Amelia’s mom no where to be found.

Anyways, as you play you merge ingredients and sell them to customers as Amelia, Kate, and the rest of the characters rebuild the cafe.

The game may seem extremely repetitive, but that’s the point.

Repeatedly merging ingredients gets you to the desired outcome which helps you move along in the game.

Which reminds me of my life with HSP, I have to merge the repeated actions of keeping a schedule, workouts, and stretches in order to achieve the desired result.

As of today, January 11, 2023, I see and feel the benefits of merging my habits and moving, although quite steadily, from A to B.

Just thought y’all might enjoy a different take on my blog this week!

Things are good, and I’m 43 minutes passed my bedtime, so goodnight y’all.

[heavenlyhopeful0]

Well y’all we are in the first week of 2023.

Clinic was closed on Monday but I went to PT yesterday.

It’s like my shoulder knew that I’d be seeing Nancy.

It has started hurting like nobody’s business but she worked on both shoulders.

My room is starting to get messy again so I will tackle that the rest of this week… plus I need to clean the house too.

I started a new schedule on Monday; I’m working on making sure I can get 9 hours of sleep so I can get up at a decent time.

Then I read my Bible for a while (I wanna shoot for an hour so I’m working on that.)

Then by 8 I shoot for being upstairs to get a workout in consisting of 30 minutes on the elliptical, 5 minutes balancing on the exercise ball, 5 minutes balancing on the Bosu ball (which I’m getting really good at), the 2 10 minute sets on the vibration platform that dad bought me.

After I come down and make breakfast, usually a bagel and an egg frittata. Then I enjoy a cup of coffee.

At 9:30 mom helps me stretch. That seems to really help my spasticity.

Also, I’m walking and doing some exercises every hour… I WILL ditch my walker if it’s the last thing I do.

I’m also working on my adulting, I think I’m starting to get the hang of it.

Thanks for reading my update. I’ll see y’all next Wednesday!

After my bedtime prayer on New Year’s Eve, the Holy Spirit gave me my word for 2023, Patience. Lord knows I need all the help with that one because I have so much I want to accomplish and obtain this year. So here’s to patience and trusting God’s timing!!

[heavenlyhopeful0]

Not much to write home about,

I have the week off from work and physical therapy.

Although, I’m writing to y’all from my new desk and chair my parents got me for Christmas!

As 2022 is coming to a close, I’m feeling ever hopeful for the things God will do in 2023.

This is the new year that I will work towards the things I wanted in 2022.

For the most part, I have tackled the disaster that was my room, just a few other organizational things I need to do.

2023 is the year I will become uncluttered and stay organized.

I’ve got intentions to work on my relationship with Jesus, build better health and self care habits, ditch my walker and walking aids, visit my friends out of state, and just be a better adult, a better daughter, sister, and friend.

I’ll catch y’all in 2023!

[heavenlyhopeful0]

I can't believe Christmas is four days away!

2022 went by so quickly.

A lot has happened this year.

January through May my family had been in quarantine since March 2020.

May 2022 dad brought Covid home.

We ended up out of commission for a couple weeks.

After mom and I got over Covid, we went and got our hair done from my cousin. I got my hair chopped, 10 inches.

My family now started to see my other family members.

I got my second MRI in June and went to UCSF in August. Later being told doctors thought I had HSP.

A few weeks later physical therapy started.

In September I joined a singles Christian group on Facebook and have made a lot of good friends through that group. All of them being on the other side of the country. In addition, one of my best friends and I have made it a priority to FaceTime on Fridays ever since Covid.

This was the first time since 2020 my family got to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, my aunt's and grandma's birthday, and soon Christmas together. Grandma’s staying for Christmas this year again since Covid so I’m really excited for that.

With all the craziness of 2022, God truly has come through in more ways than you can imagine.

[heavenlyhopeful0]

Another Wednesday has come and gone.

Just filled out the genetics questionnaire to get that ball rolling on seeing the genetics team at UCSF.

Bought a thigh wrap for my left leg. That’s helped my hip from giving out

I need to call Dr. Abrams tomorrow to schedule an appointment there too.

Dr. Abrams is a rehabilitation doctor down at UCSF that Nancy is friends with.

Mom is helping me with getting things together for my new health insurance for next year.

Speaking of mom, her and I have been doing stretches and a little of my cousin, Jake’s, yoga programs.

Christmas is in 12 days. HOLY COW.

All my Christmas shopping was finished earlier this week.

This year sure went by quickly.

It’s definitely shaping up to be an unexpected year.