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Darcy: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth

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Charlie: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Nick: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Charlie: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Nick: Is it working?

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Charlie: Hello, I'm Charlie. I work at a shop now. Here to help. Look, they gave me a badge with my name on it in case I forget it. Very helpful, as that does happen.

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Nick: I'm yet to properly begin my history notes BUT!!!! I got 100% on a quiz about european countries so who's the REAL winner here.

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Charlie: You’re charged with…..breaking into a pet store?

Nick: I thought the animals might be lonely.

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Darcy: Can you cut me some slack, Tara? I’m sort of in love.

Tara: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem.

Darcy: I’m in love with you.

Tara: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

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Tara: Pick a card, any card.

Darcy: Fine.

Tara: Wait, that's my credit card!

Darcy: You said any card.

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Elle: You are an absolute fucking dork.

Tao, singing: Yeah, but I'm your dork!

Elle: *sighs* Yeah, you're my dork.

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Tori: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

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Tori: My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.

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Charlie: *eating a cinnamon roll*

Nick: Cannibalism.

Charlie: *confused chewing noises*

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Charlie: Did Nick just tell me he loved me for the first time?

Aled: Yeah, he did.

Charlie: And did I just do finger guns back?

Aled: Yeah, you did.

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Nick: *yawns*

Charlie: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Nick: Then you must be exhuasted.

Tao: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

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Tao: Uptown Funk would've made it into the Shrek Soundtrack.

Elle: That's the truest statement I've ever heard.

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Nick: Do you want to know your gay name?

Charlie: My... my gay name?

Nick: Yeah, it's your first name-

Charlie: Haha. Very funny Nick-

Nick: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.

Charlie: Oh- oh my god.

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Charlie: My heart is guarded but like… very poorly. The kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R rated movie.

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Charlie: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany!

Charlie, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.