heartspiderweb777

[heartspiderweb777]

I feel that my life has changed. And as vague as that may sound, I am not repeating an unheard of idea but teen angst is very real. I thought maybe I was going through that which I was. But it then turned into depression which I successfully grew from. But then he came along. I poured out time and energy into him and so did he, he was obviously not the one or I would not be here, then the other came along. I have found myself running in the same circle trapping myself in this everlasting paradise turned to hell. I have convinced myself that I must depend on a significant other and am so mortified of anyone knowing I would rather be anonymously confessing my insecurities than speak to a friend about it. Society now has taught us to have a ruthless comeback from something that can truly hurt a persons soul. I have never felt so mentally drained and worn out yet I put my foot in first to please the others. I find myself distracting my own mind from my endless success and possibilities to find temporary happiness. Lastly, it is so tough to be climbing a mountain of confidence and self love to then be torn down by others because of your trail to get there. Some people have really not grasped the idea of letting people be their own person and grow.

[heartspiderweb777]

“If I”

If I could remember how I could make you happy in a second

If I knew how to make you laugh like they do

If I could hold in my tears instead of creating an unsteady dam between my eyelids

If I could just start all over I would

[heartspiderweb777]

2:44 AM

I have work in the morning

you don't 

I stay up to talk

you won’t

my heart takes on this toll 

but you don't change 

I wish we could be different

I’d take all the blame