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What do you do when you feel so hopeless because you are surrounded by people who refuse to listen to how you feel? Who never admit that they’re wrong? Who always let you know that what you say does not matter because they are the parent and you are the child? 

It’s only been about 2 months since moving back here and almost every day I’m reminded of why I so desperately wanted to NOT be here. My mom usually avoids her own father whenever he tries to stop by. Maybe she was treated the same way while growing up. Maybe that’s why she avoids him. Because this is why I avoid my own parents. It sucks...

Whenever I try to talk about feelings with my parents...especially my mom...they just shut that shit down. I feel like my mind is all over the place. I can’t sort my thoughts out like I used to. It’s been so long since I’ve written like this. 

I feel like I’m slowly losing myself. Whenever I pick up my guitar or try to sing it’s as if all those years of practiced have disappeared and I have to start over again. And I get so frustrated with myself. Because “what?! I should know this already!” 

Covid has me all kinds of fucked up in the head right now. And I know ...I hope to get through this and find myself again. Maybe that’s the whole point, though. 

Maybe I must rebuild rather than trying to recreate something that is no longer there. 

Sigh...maybe this goes for ALL the different aspects of my life. 

FUUUUUCK. 

I’m already having a hard time just getting up some days. I’m so exhausted. And I feel so...unwanted. Like a burden. Like maybe the lives of certain people would be easier if I just didn’t exist in the first place...especially because their actions show me this time and time again. 

I just want to be able to talk about my feelings without being met with anger or being dismissed. And that’s what I’ve been feeling lately especially being back here. 

Sigh...

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Reason to Live #5047

To receive the same level of love I give from someone that many others have dropped when I gave it to them ❤️– Guest Submission

(Please don’t add negative comments to these posts.)

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Sometimes, you just need to remind yourself:

It’ll be okay.

It’ll be okay.

It’ll be okay.

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(Credit: unknown)

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(Credit: unknown)

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It’s okay if you can’t cross something off your to-do list today. It’s okay to leave it for later. It’s not your fault if you run out of energy before you get to do it, even if it was something you really wanted to finish. It’ll still be there for you if you decide to do it another day.

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if you’re struggling again, i’m still proud of you.

if you’re lost right now, i’m still proud of you.

if you feel like you’re at a low point, i’m still proud of you.

i’m proud of you for getting through these tough days and on your way to the better ones.

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It was life-changing for me when someone said that all coping mechanisms were necessary at some point and came from a place of survival. Behaviours that hurt you now at some point probably saved your life, because they helped you get through unimaginable trauma or symptoms, or because they helped you survive in an environment that wasn’t safe, or they helped you protect yourself against someone. Self-harm, disordered eating, and other trauma responses aren’t stupid or selfish, they’re your body trying to protect you with love, the best way it knows how. 

That’s why it’s so tough to break those habits and patterns, you can’t hate your way out of them. It’s been really helpful for me to reframe triggers and urges that way, instead of saying “you’re an adult you shouldn’t still be feeling like this, you’re stupid and immature for still wanting to self-harm” 

I’m trying to say things like 

“I appreciate the strength it took to learn this tool, I know it helped for a long time and it came from a place of love, but now it’s not helpful and we’re going to do something else because now I’m in a new situation and I have new and better tools.” (like journaling, playing music, talking to friends, going for a walk, listening to loud music)

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Forgot to post but this is my piece for the @suforeverzine! I got the song Stronger Than You which is a dream come true tbh lol if you were unable to preorder, I do believe we are having a leftover sale! please go to the blog to check it ou!

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First comic of 2021 legally had to be the OG babies

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i hear the episode that got me to watch steven universe aired 6 years (+2 days) ago. alone together is still one of the best episodes i’ve ever seen.

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💖 Let go of the concept of perfection and embrace the feeling of doing it. 💖

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You do not need to prove anything. You don't need to prove anything to anyone. You don't need to justify everything that you do. You don't need to justify who you are. You are allowed to be yourself, and do what you think is right...for you. Your true worth will never come from anybody else, it has to come from your heart.