healing-medic-lizard

[healing-medic-lizard]

uninvited

[healing-medic-lizard]

Pssst... can i request scions reacting to their romantic partner wol turning into a sin eater.

two asks, one stone!

this particular AU isn't my favorite, i must confess. i like seeing other players' WoL-turned-sineater concept art, but the implications are just so sad (and world-breaking) that it feels hard for me to do the AU its proper justice.

but i respect angst enjoyers! so here is a little drabble for you both to enjoy :)

tags: angst, violence, implied death, body horror, dark themes in general tbh, Shadowbringers spoilers, gn!WoL word count: 325

Something must have gone wrong. The delicate, ever-shifting balance of aether, of light and dark, the tenuous thread upon which the worlds teeter... Something must have broken it. No one could know where it happened, or how, or by whose hand. At this point, it was too late to wonder. Too late to reverse the tides. The sky was already bright and stagnant, the lands still bleached and barren -- and the Warrior transformed.

Maybe 'transformed' was too sweet a word. Too gentle, too clinical. It didn't capture the bones cracking or the skin ripping. Or the screaming. Gods, the screaming. How it hung in the air like fog as every scrap of light within the Warrior painstakingly tore its way out. And how it suddenly stopped, replaced with naught but sterile silence as something new arose in their place.

A thing with too many eyes, too many limbs, flesh pallid, body edged with glittering gold. It towered over the other sin eaters, dwarfing even the most formidable of the Lightwardens, in stature and power alike. Power leaked like blood from its ragged seams. Puddles of liquid light splattered the ground as it took its first stuttering steps in its new frame. All who looked upon it knew it was not a mere sin eater, but a newborn god. A harbinger of a hideous doom, terrible and beautiful in the same vacant moment.

And as the creature brayed, announcing its supremacy to the flocks of its newfound kin, the others fled. Some ran; others were dragged, or carried. But all fled. What else could they do? The world was unraveling around them, crumbling piecemeal into the sickly stillness of the light. They had to reach the Crystarium, had to regroup, had to make sure the denizens of the shard were safe. There were thousands of lives at stake -- and yet, as the Scions raced to safety, all they could think of was the life they were leaving behind.

[healing-medic-lizard]

by the throat

[healing-medic-lizard]

The calm before the storm, before the facade finally failed me.

CONTENT WARNING: WANTING FOR DEATH. THOUGHTS OF SELF HATRED. AND GENERAL DEPRESSION.

"I knew what had to be done. I knew accepting the Scions' offer would lead me down this path one way or another. I know I'll need to come clean at some point. There's no way the don't notice, right? I can feel myself cracking after each imperial killed, feel my probably poorly kept secret becoming all the more obvious after each mission against them. Maybe if I express less and keep quieter it'll help me keep this secret just a little longer. I have to- I can't let them know, what will they think when they learn that? That I've killed innocents in the name of the empire? Will they just slaughter me like the traitorous swine I am? Will any trust in me be gone? Will they just throw me out in the street to rot? I've seen how they look at the soldiers, I've heard all the remarks, I can feel the hatred in the way they act when the topic of the empire comes up. I only hope they don't already know, and don't plan to just abandon me when my usefulness has finally run dry, once the empire is gone and the primals are slain. Or worse, kill me. But... would that be worse? Would it be better off to be left alive to suffer for my remaining days or would it be better to have them cut short and be prevented this misery? No matter, I can't hesitate, I can't deviate, I can't let the mask slip. I must obey them without question or else I'm punished... just... just like it was in the empire..." I let out a defeated sigh, these same thoughts and anxieties have been plauging me from the moment I foolishly accepted the offer to join the scions. Who the bloody hells cares about how gifted someone is when they've spilled the blood of others and their own in the name of the empire? It doesn't matter a whit if you've done right and left, if you've turned tail and fled. The people who know will still hate you. The people who don't will find out, or you'll have to live with the guilt of keeping secrets from them, no matter how close they may seem or how good of a person they may look. Nobody can be trusted once you've fled the empire, nobody who opposes it, and sure as hells nobody who supports it. "Is this life truly better? I'm just living with a different edge over my head, different ties around my wrists, different people's floor to look down at while I await the inevitable execution at the slightest slip up. I can't flee either, now that so many people look to me as a hero. I'll be known, I'll be hunted to be brought back, and if my past is found out I'll be hunted for my scales. I can only pray to whatever false gods these people believe in that my death is swift and painless."

I can feel eyes watching me after the briefing of our mission, only one set, I know not who's, but I don't care. Who brings down the blade- who lets out my secret doesn't matter, the end will always be the same. I don't stop walking, I simply keep my pace and return to my quarters as if I'm none the wiser. Even that small lie pains me, makes this room feel like a poorly disguised cell. All I need to do is fight Rhitahtyn and kill him. Gods, even such a thought fills me with guilt, with shame, I had become a small degree close with him after how many times he had protected me and allowed me to heal those on the field who needed it. He never let me heal him though, always said my skills would be put to better use helping the needier. I have a high respect for him, I care for him and now these bastard 'heros' are making me kill him. If these gods they believe in are merciful, I will be defeated handily, and maybe they'll never have to find out about me. I can't begin to imagine what would happen if I survive. He'll recognize me... he knows why I left... he's the only one who knew. I hope he can forgive this bastard soul who selfishless seeks it's own survival and make my death painless. I know he does... but I still hope he doesn't remember me so he can be spared this pain.

I feel a lump well up in my throat, my eyes beginning to flood. I look down at my hand as I grab a necklace from my pocket, it bears the crest of the empire, gifted to me by none other than Rhitahtyn himself. The chain design is to resemble the pricelessness of unity, and red link in the middle the blood of those who died for the empire's cause. The tears begin to uncontrollably flow down my face, I can't stop them yet the piercing eyes behind me remain. The lump grows heavier but I dare not speak until the eyes give me mercy, and the clearly attempting to be silent steps fade until I cannot hear them any longer. Are they still here and trying to have me let my guard down? I don't care, I can't bear to live with myself any longer. I hold the crest to my heart and speak under my breath, my voice that of a broken woman, a defeated soldier. "I'm sorry Rhitahtyn, I'm so damned sorry. I only pray you can forgive me." I lay down and return the necklace to my pocket before crying myself to sleep in preperation for the fight, the one that I pray will be my last.

[healing-medic-lizard]

Obligatory first post so I can make sure I'll remember to tag things properly, have a post of me.

[healing-medic-lizard]

🏳️‍🌈 IT WOULD BE IN YOUR BEST INTEREST TO READ THIS POST, THANK YOU. 🏳️‍🌈

Hello, I am Sanatio jen Lacerta, but most just refer to me as Sanatio. My pronouns are unimportant as it is impossible to misgender us. This blog will be specifically for me to use to tell my stories of my experinces, be them of my time in the empire, or my time after. However it may also be used for general purposes, though all will be related to myself in some way or another. (Or in other words, everything here will be FFXIV related.)

Given my experinces aswell as some few other things, I am going to put content/trigger warnings here. In other words, there will be possibly triggering topics:

Possible topics of PTSD, I cannot say for certain wether or not they will be mild.

Injury, death, maybe gore, and most things relating to them can also be assumed.

While no specific details will be given outside of my own perspective as a sage, war and/or combat will be brought up.

Abuse of varying kinds, it would be best to assume most common ones will be mentioned.

Unreality. I am not sure how common of a trigger this is but given I have seen some blogs tag it as a trigger I assume it is atleast somewhat common. This will not be tagged as my entire blog can be considered this, if unreality triggers you or simply is not your thing, turn back now.

These things will be tagged with "TW (content that the post contains)" or "CW (content that the post contains)". There is no guarantee I don't forget to tag some posts, and if you think some should be tagged then do tell me. Homophobia and transphobia will be tagged under abuse as to keep the amount of tags I need to remember lower and therefore lower the chance of forgetting.

This is your only warning: THERE WILL BE SPOILERS FOR FFXIV.

However, I will do my best to make sure any spoilers for content past A Realm Reborn have warnings, this will include various tags that you could block. I will also say, sometimes even gods make mistakes, and given various permenant debuffs I have I am bound to make them aswell.

Here's a list of tags I will use to warn for spoilers (if I remember to):

Heavensward spoilers (or HW spoilers)

Stormblood spoilers (or SB spoilers)

Shadowbringers spoilers (or ShB spoilers)

Endwalker spoilers (or EW spoilers)

Dawntrail spoilers (or DT spoilers)

Any further expansions will be listed here, if they are not you may assume they will follow the same pattern.

I will try to remember to tag my posts with what they could be considered. If a post does not fall under any of these tags it likely is simply a post where none could be accurately applied. The tags will be as follows:

Writing

Art

Gpose

For the best experince possible, please treat this blog like it is run by someone living in the universe of FFXIV.