hatsalad

[hatsalad]

can someone invent a type of letting go that actually feels good instead of feeling like your soul is getting ripped out via large intestine

[hatsalad]

Squidward clocking out of the Krusty Krab and heading to the nearest gay after hours event 

[hatsalad]

Peekaboo!

[hatsalad]

Random linguistic worldbuilding: A language with six sets of pronouns, which are set by one's current state of existence. There's a separate pronoun for people who are alive, people who are dead, and potential future people who are yet to be born, and the ambiguous ones of "may or may not be alive or aleady dead", "may or may not have even been born yet", and the ultimate general/ambiguous all-covering one that covers all ambiguous states.

The culture has a specific defined term for that tragic span of time when a widow keeps accidentally referring to their spouse with living pronouns. New parents-to-be dropping the happy surprise news of a pregnancy by referring to their future child with the "is yet to be born" pronoun instead of a more ambiguous one and waiting for the "wait what did you just say?" reactions.

Someone jokingly referring to themselves with the dead person pronouns just to highlight how horrible their current hangover is. A notorious aspiring ladies' man who keeps trying to pursue women in their 20s despite of approaching middle age fails to notice the insult when someone asks him when he's planning to get married, and uses the pronoun that implies that his ideal future bride may not even be born yet.

A mother whose young adult child just moved away from home for the first time, who continues to dramatically refer to their child with "may or may not be already dead" until the aforementioned child replies to her on facebook like "ma stop telling people I'm dead" and having her respond with "well how could I possibly know that when you don't even write to us? >:,C"

[hatsalad]

[hatsalad]

Dragon be upon ye

[hatsalad]

"in the future, boys and girls will be next to impossible to tell apart. even in bed."

-- david byrne

[hatsalad]

"Why did I do that?"

close up

[hatsalad]

Reblog if you want your followers to ask you anything they're curious about.

[hatsalad]

Some people say that there are no stupid questions, which is blatantly false. Of course there are stupid questions, and if you have one, you had better ask it, before you go and do make a stupider mistake. Stupid questions are more important than intelligent ones. I’m willing to bet more people die because of stupid mistakes than because of intelligent ones.

[hatsalad]

jokes that will literally never not be funny to me:

saying “speedrun strats” every time you fuck up

saying “first try” when you’ve tried the thing like 15 times, minimum

[hatsalad]

me when i wanna talk about my special interests but i got the vampire autism where you gotta invite me to talk about smth first, otherwise i wont say shit or dont know what to say because i feel like im annoying

[hatsalad]

i love the never kill your self meme like yeah joy can be found in humble places peace and love on planet earth

[hatsalad]

[hatsalad]

Reverse Air Bud movie about a human basketball player who, on a technicality, enters and wins the westminster dog show

[hatsalad]

why did he do that to me? part 2 of this :3

[hatsalad]

Our new Discord server is live!

If you like ocean liners, cargo ships, warships, or any other type of ship (floating or not), feel free to check it out. Anyone is welcome, and we’d love to have you.

Cheers!