haptism

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every shitty book now is called something like a court of shit and fuck or something equally stupid. books used to be called frindle and we liked it. we liked it

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I love how Nintendo killed all the excitement for the Switch 2 by raising the prices of games by 30 bucks

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Me: yeah in the future we make fun of hipsters again. But we don't call them that, we call them "guys into stomp clap hey" and joke about how they like mediocre overpriced burgers and make podcasts

The 2010s fandom blogger I time traveled to, visibly shaking: can we please go back to that thing you said about destiel

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“Why should rich people pay more” because fuck ‘em

“So you are okay for paying more when you have money” I am not excluded from ‘fuck ‘em’ when relevant

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"if tumblr dies you can find me on bluesky" "if tumblr dies you can find me on Instagram" if tumblr dies you cannot find me. It's over. I'm free.

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I love how here on tumblr dot website we regularly cast the greatest curse we can muster on each other by pointing our long creepy fingers and intoning "10,000 notes" in a voice that carries the winds of the mountain with it.

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posting this for no particular reason

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there are teenagers today using smartphones who don’t even remember the real gun emoji. they have never experienced it.

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i choose to believe that this movie was originally going to feature a kiss between Doctor Strange and Black Panther's Everett Ross (portrayed by Martin Freeman) basically just so i can start a new tumblr legend i like to call "The Johnlock Conspiracy 2: Marvel Edition". i want all the closet superwholocks who follow me to make a big fuss about how evil homophobic disney axed johnlock2. because it would be funny.

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my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

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you could never make me spend 80 dollars on a video game honestly

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okay it’s come to my attention that absolutely NONE OF YOU know ANYTHING about how cutie marks work. let me say this simply. a cutie mark isn’t a job being assigned, it’s a special TALENT OR SKILL that the pony enjoys. Most of the time it has a directly transferable job for that skill, like if you enjoy baking and are super good at it WOW! baker. If you are really good at writing and telling stories, author. However, there are some cutie marks that could go multiple ways.

twilight sparkle has exceptional magic ability, so she became a scholar, but she could really do anything that required a good magic skill. same with rainbow dash, her weather controlling job isn’t directly linked to her cutie mark, but it does fit the bill for the job.

i was posed the question of what would a murderer pony’s cutie mark be and wouldn’t everyone know. NO. if somehow murder were to be a special skill, the cutie mark might be something like a knife or a shovel. other ponies might just assume you’re good a cooking or gardening. now with cutie marks like apple jacks, their family has a ‘green thumb’ kind of deal so obviously the cutie mark would be hereditary.

so, the reason i made this post. walter white pony’s cutie mark would NOT be blue crystals. it would be a CHEMISTRY FLASK.

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Finally some good fucking news

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it's called the Switch 2 because you Switch 2 a cheaper hobby

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For 500 usd, you can buy 5 nsfw commissions from me of your favourite character in bondage or something instead of a switch