happypartypeople

[happypartypeople]

a compulsive obsession with cleanliness is beaten into us from birth, don’t curse, don’t scream, that’s dirty, don’t wear that, don’t touch that, that’s dirty, have sex, don’t have sex, that’s dirty, you made a mess, clean it up, your brother made a mess, your father made a mess, clean it up, pills instead of a gun, blood’s dirty, don’t play in a dress, you’ll get it dirty, open the windows and boil water with cinnamon and vanilla when da smokes, it’s dirty, older brother not learning he smokes til five years later, he can’t know, that’s dirty, don’t want things, don’t need things, desire can’t be pure, not yours, are you a virgin? have someone else’s hands taken that cleanliness? would that be so bad? of course it would, doesn’t he know there’s no cleanliness left in me to take? he doesn’t care, he’ll take my filth if it’s all i have, as long as he’s taking, as long as it’s all i have left, don’t love her, don’t touch her, that’s dirty, ive cleaned this kitchen ten times, it’s still dirty, da spilled his drink clean it up, he can’t know how bad he’s getting, this house must be clean, clean of him, clean of sin, clean of evidence at least, i’m not clean anymore but i try to be, i have to try, i can’t be dirty, and now it’s not about staying clean but only appearing to be, plato said there’s a class of woman who are receptacles for filth, a sewage system of women at the bottom, and i’m part of that, it feels like it, and now i’m a hopeless cause, i’m tainted, i’m dirty, and i can’t let it spread, what’s around me must stay clean, i can’t infect the world around me, i have to hold the filth inside and keep the world safe, but every woman is this way so what world is there to care for, because no one cares, no one sees, but they don’t want it dirty either, do they.

[happypartypeople]

more in colour

[happypartypeople]

there's not only black&white photos

[happypartypeople]

a lot of bored ideas during lockdown

[happypartypeople]

Something weird was happened here. I have to fix my camera which overexpose my films. Lockdown's effects.

[happypartypeople]

Thx @eviilspirit 😘

[happypartypeople]

During the covid-19 make stuck us at home I decided to share with another my modest work. Really frankly I had a lot of lucky, cause I can spend this hard period on the countryside. There is a lot of catchy views whitch I can grab. It’s also adventage that my adventure with analog photography is coincided in time with pandemy so I have a lot of time to enjoy it and improve my skills. Maybe I haven’t more enviromental possibilities, but as I said I have still a lot of lucky. Due I have to spend an extraordinary long time in one place is something weird with me. I just started to consider my last year, when everything was “normal” and I realize that lonelines has a lot of advantages.  I just really need it and this is something I couldn’t do in the normal circumstances. Cause I used to do several things I coudn’t saw how tired and weak I was. I’m a cultural studies student, dancer and amateur actor. In one word I can say I’m an artist, so I have to work more and more and unfortunetly I’m not somebody appreciate. (hih) It’s really hard time for all artist. We just had to interrupt our all projekts, we can’t leave our home, we have to work remotely. It’s something totally new for most of us. But I think that isn’t hard time for art. We have a possibility to watch for free a lot of films, plays, expositions or concerts. Now, people from middle class have a possibility to watch a lot of art for free. I’m really hapy about that. I really hope when everything will be over, intrested in art will be increase. It’s so important, cause of artist and their work people can be more self-consciously, sensibility, and also important - they can be more awere of their laws. Art for people!