hanraemusic

[hanraemusic]

2019 - The year of Checking In.

Hi Friends! Happy New Year (Two months in ;) )

One of my resolutions this year is to check in more. Firstly, to be better at checking in on myself and my needs (living that enneagram two life leaves me with a low battery more often than I’d like to admit.) Secondly, to more frequently check in with others and to share pieces of my journey, in hopes of finding community in the joys and struggles that we all share. I hope this is a year filled with rich adventure and growth, and definitely more trips to Steeplechase dressed as a unicorn (no one was staring at all guys don’t worry.)  

To my fellow twos who are two-ning in, *ba-dum-ch* - there are two major ways that I’ve been checking in with myself this year that have made a world of difference.

1. If you haven’t heard of Headspace - run, don’t walk, your finger over to your device and use that touch ID (that still freaks me out because how can our phone know our fingerprint) and download it IMMEDIATELY. This is not a drill. Meditation has helped me is so many ways. It’s helped me to reframe the way that I interact with anxiety, to recognize it and to acknowledge it and to be able to keep it at a distance before it becomes all consuming like the taco bell I shouldn’t have eaten at 10pm but who can resist those nacho fries.

2. Guys. Take. A. Bath. Use those bath bomb things and light a Joanna Gaines candle. JUST DO IT. Listen to the Avett Brothers and feel the feelings that you don’t feel entitled to. I can’t even begin to explain the calm and joy that’s returned to my life by doing this regularly. I can’t believe I never knew how important it was to sit still in some hot water every now and then. 

Now that you’ve read about my self-care, I want to tell you about what’s going on with music (!!)

It’s been almost a year since I released Without Letting Go, and I’m still overwhelmed by all of the love the record continues to receive. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for continuing to listen, and for accepting me as I continue to post weird videos on Instagram. 

This year, I’ll be putting out more music of my own, but I’m also really excited to share that I’ll be putting out collaborative music with my husband, Jameson (who is also weird but not quite as weird as me, he says.) Here are a couple photos to show that we are professionals and that we mean business:

^Casual niece photo bomb. 

This year is going to be a good one, friends. Thanks for reading and continuing to follow along as I figure out this music/life balance. It’s always an interesting ride, and never without a lot of laughter. 

Till next time (which will be very soon and I mean it y'all),

Hanna Rae

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What to Do with a New Brain

I’ve been reading a lot of self help books lately.

I know what you’re thinking and no, these are not the “x,y and z for dummies” books, although I do love how plainly those tell me that I should really know how to do what they are telling me to do without reading a book. 

The ones that have actually had me doing something other than binge watching the new Gilmore Girls every night are the ones who tie God into the process of getting your life back on the straight away.  

I love pictures painted of a grandiose life. 

Ones that explicitly show how differently your life will take shape once you dive off of a coast you’ve never seen.  After you’ve biked across the country with only a backpack and a broken arm. When you truly trust that God will provide for you and who the heck even cares about health insurance anyway.

I was diagnosed with PTSD last year. I never really understood the disorder, and was in pretty severe disbelief about having it for a solid year. The truth is, I didn’t want to burden anyone with my struggles, so I tried mightily to dampen the flashbacks, the anxiety and the need to talk about it.  Funny thing about PTSD, shame tells you that you’re making it up. Lucky for an overly analytical and skeptical person such as myself, brain scans tell differently. 

I lost a lot of my friends over the past year, which fed into me losing my grip on myself. Turns out a house robbed of it’s foundation doesn’t stand very sturdy. I grew accustomed to the grief process because it was cyclical, and I think I numbed myself so incredibly much to living in that space that I began to think it was the new normal.

Residing in a colorless, adventure-less picture of life is not living. 

This is a lesson I’ve been relearning and reteaching myself over the past two months. Ironically enough, because of a picture. Remember that brain scan I was talking about? It came up on my twitter feed alongside a lot of cat videos and facts about how eating a lot of cheese makes you live longer.  The scan showed two pictures of the same brain, side by side. The brain on the left was solidly colored, but looked bleak and boring. Deprived of vibrance and beauty. The brain on the right however, was lit like the night sky. Blues and greens swirling, leaving no tiny piece of the brain uncovered. 

Which one do you think was the brain of a person with PTSD?  It was the one on the right. 

The picture, at first, devastated me. I couldn’t see past anything other than the fact that my brain would be forever changed. The more I kept glancing though, the more I felt connected to this straight-out-of-oz looking brain.  I wanted to know this persons story! I wanted to sit with them and drink coffee in my tiny kitchen and learn about how their brain took on a different iteration of itself. 

For the first time, I felt like maybe my story was like a necessary magic marker in a destined to remain untouched coloring book. 

My journey in healing is far from over, but having a new perspective on the ways in which permanent scars can bring about depth, newness and breath has me eager to continue the walk. 

For now, I’ll delight in waking up to the beauty of a brain that is illustrated like Van Gogh’s finest masterpiece. 

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The most beautiful sight I've ever seen. My niece, Eloise Rae ❤️

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#tbt to Natalia and her tooth. (at High Meadow Alpacas)

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Pretty sure this guy loves GG even more than I do! What an amazing day! (at Friends Life Community)

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I'm just really lucky to be friends with such incredible ladiez and dog #greendoorgourmetfallfest

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I can't believe KNOE Your Name has over 62k streams! Let's get to 100 y'all!

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Happy One Month of marriage to the greatest gift that God has ever given me. Here's to many, many more :)

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- we out here - #cprtraining (at Atmalogy)

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COME SEE US TODAY!!! @friendslife fall festival! 4:30-6:30 :) (at Friends Life Community)

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Missing my BFF today and also an accurate portrayal of how my Monday is going so far

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This is a coconut stout. So. (at Southern Grist Brewing Co)

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A post shared by Hanna Rae (@hannaraemusic)

Well this was a nice Monday night surprise! Thanks so much WQSV! Valley friends, be sure to tune in ☺️

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Our little house is coming along nicely ☺️ (at Nashville, Tennessee)

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Got to celebrate our wedding today with our second family ☺️ (at Friends Life Community)

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Lovely friends, I am so excited to play this event. Come see what @friendslife is all about this month! Also, if you listen to @lightning100 , you might hear a familiar tune accompanying this ad ;) Mark your calendars! (at Friends Life Community)

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Can't believe it's already been over a week since I married this guy ☺️ thanks for this photo, @beehotle