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[hannahandherhealthjourney]

Turning My Life Around

All righty! Where to begin! Ever since college (2014-2015), my weight has been up and down. I've tried many strategies and tools - Weight Watchers, keto briefly, and "no carb" diets to name a couple. Nothing seemed to work. I would get the motivation, lose quite a bit of what I gained, then suddenly boom! No more motivation, throw my hands in the air giving up at the first sign of a plateau, and then reach a new high in my weight. 

Back in April 2021, I reached the newest high of over 230 pounds. I was so unhappy even though I masked it with happiness. Looking back on it, I realize that now. I didn't like getting out. I had no motivation to move. I was achy all the time. I felt like I didn't deserve to get better. It was a weird mentality. Even now describing it, I still don’t fully get it. However, what I do know is that even though I knew that my biological family had a history of diabetes and heart problems, I didn’t feel like I was worth getting better.

So that summer of 2021, my dad and I began reading this incredible book Christian Self-Mastery by Basil Maturin, and it opened my eyes. Every single day we make decisions every moment of every day. Yes, people tell you this as you grow up; however, you have to almost go through this “light bulb” moment on your own. When you wake up every morning, you have a battle in your mind each moment to choose the right thing to do. It’s hard as you have to do this all your life! Each time you make a decision and the longer you do so, it soon becomes a habit. It became a habit for me to do… nothing. That’s a decision too, doing nothing. Not only that, the book connected the choices you made with your spiritual life. That is what changed my outlook on everything - health, finances, spiritual life, my career, and relationships. That’s just a brief summary of the book. It’s a challenging read, but so worth it.

After that, I signed up for Noom, which was another tool that helped me tremendously for my health. It focuses on your brain and thinking or CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. They focus on your habits and get you to really dive down deep into your tendencies to ask why you have those tendencies. Not only that, they get you to change your mindset on foods. Noom calls it "thought distortions" in which you have negative thoughts such as "I had a slice of cake today, so my diet is completely and totally ruined" or "My weight has stayed the exact same for the past 5 days in a row, so I am a failure." These are real negative thoughts I have had. I felt like Noom was speaking directly to me. Instead, they get me to think positive. Turn those thoughts around. "Yes, my weight has stayed the same for several days, but your weight hasn't gone up!" "So you had a slice of cake today, enjoy it. It's okay to treat yourself every so often. Otherwise, the diet isn't sustainable."

I've learned from both the book and Noom that I have a massive perfectionist and stubborn personality. I have the tendency to give up and say "I messed up and I have always messed up, so therefore what is the point!? I'll just keep making the same mistakes." (Another thought distortion, per Noom) Now, everyday I fight this mentality.

Is it easy? Nope! Each day is a challenge. However, I am the happiest I have ever been! It's worth it! As of this past week, I have officially lost 64 pounds - 169 pounds. Officially out of the "obese" zone and now in the "overweight" zone for my age, sex, and height. I'm only 14 pounds away from getting to my final goal!

Care about yourself. You are worth being taking cared of. You are worth being healthy and happy. Don't make the same mistake I did and let yourself dig into a hole that is so hard to climb out of. Work hard. Challenge yourself. You're worth it! God made it so.