haileesparkles-blog

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[haileesparkles-blog]

petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’

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Me: is the bees knees You: cockroaches ankles

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Boy I just wanna ride ya dick and help you be a better you

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this changes everything oh my god

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The difference between cat people and dog people, as explained by Tumblr.

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Making videos into gifs? Sorry the only videos I have are my friends jumping up and down at parties singing all night longer

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Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.

Robert Brault (via bl-ossomed)

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It’s not “bacon,” it’s a pig.

It’s not “veal,” it’s a calf.

It’s not “steak,” it’s a cow.

It’s not “meat,” it’s an animal…

[haileesparkles-blog]

a darkened auditorium with 264 silent people in the seats. on the stage, me, sitting on a stool, lit by a spotlight, the only light in the theatre. i hold up a photo of my cat, 10 people applaud, two or three hold up photocopies of the same photo, the rest do nothing, watching, waiting. 

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What a piece of shit...

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I remember it being cold, and we had to do it way too many times. I don’t think we were in the mood or could even look like were having fun anymore, but then Matthew Perry said, ‘I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t in the fountain,’ and we all laughed so hard. I think that’s what’s on TV.

Lisa Kudrow on filming the F.R.I.E.N.D.S opening credits scene in the fountain (via allyouneedispaulie)

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tbh the most exciting part of my day is when i finally go to bed at night and start creating imaginary scenarios in my head

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getting into a relationship may seem like a good idea but so was getting on the titanic and look what happened there 

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I’m going to bed