gyldenglor

[gyldenglor]

Humans are Space Orcs - Touch

"So, yeah - that's why I never touch hanging plants. Anyway, I-"

Peter suddenly stops talking, and an expression of great concern overcomes his face.

Vy'Tule immediately begins to panic.

"Oh no, what's the matter? Have you detected an odor? Or heard something?"

"No - no, I think…" he shakes his head, and Vy'Tule noticed that he is running his hand along one spot on the quantum drive's containment chamber, over and over again. "Shit, I'm going to have to check this out."

"What? What is the matter?"

"Uhh...I think… Wait, I just need… Ah, there it is!" Vy'Tule remains confused and panicked as Peter retrieves a magnifying tool from his pocket. Using a magnetic clip, he attaches it to the metal cylinder he had been touching, and sets the magnification to a moderate value.

Within moments, Vy'Tule sees the cause for concern.

"Oh, no."

Peter immediately pulls out his mobile terminal pad, and after tapping on a few things, he's established a direct line of communication with Vy'Keen via the ships "secure" phone system, reserved only for commanding officers.

"Hey captain, it's Peter, from engineering. We've got a bit of an issue, there's-"

"How are you accessing this!?" Vy'Keen's voice overrides Peter's on the pads meager speakers. "How do you constantly worm your way into the functions of this ship!?"

"I can explain later - but I found a hairline fracture in the quantum drive containment chamber. We're going to have to power down while I fix it."

Vy'Keen replies after an irritated pause. "Fine. We still must discuss your disregard for security protocols."

Peter can't help but snort in derisive laughter at the term "security". "Yes, Captain. Anyway, please notify me when I can start making repairs, and I'll notify you as soon as we're done."

The captain says she would, and sets about giving the orders and notifying the rest of the crew of the impending loss of primary power.

"How did you know it was there?" Vy'Tule watches in wonder as Peter starts to draw on the fracture point, finding it using his fingers and the magnification tool.

"What? Oh, I felt it."

"You…'felt', it?"

"Uh… Yeah. With my fingers? Humans can feel something as thin as a human hair, you know. Thinner, even."

Vy'Tule is speechless. There was never any indication in the human guide of such sensitivity!

He pulls out his own data pad and started to pen a document. "Do you mind if I ask you some questions while we wait for the all clear? This needs to be put in the human guide."

"Sure - you just need to know that I'm not totally sure of the actual science of it, so I may not be able to accurately answer your questions."

Vy'Tule feels a surge of pride - this would be his first entry to the guide!

----

Entry #2,658,572

Author - Vy'Tule

Race - Kral

Engineer serving under Captain Vy'Keen aboard the S.S. Anne

Subject: Human Touch

BEGIN REPORT

The human engineer I work with was able to detect a micro fracture in the containment chamber of the quantum drive with nothing but his fingers.

This indicates a previously unknown sensitivity to small objects in the human sense of touch. Apparently, humans can detect the difference between incredibly small objects - they can feel a discrepancy in a surface down to the width of a human hair, and even smaller.

Further data will be available for purchase as it is accrued, per my Captain's directive.

END REPORT

---

"I prefer your reports," Peter announces as he finished reading the document over. "To the point, no conjecture or hysterical theatrics - sometimes, I feel like the Captain is close to having a panic attack when she writes her reports." Peter sighs as he hands the pad back to Vy'Tule. "Makes it a bit hard sometimes to just talk to people, you know? Like, just because human teeth are stronger than porcelain doesn't mean I'm going to bite you."

"Wait - human teeth are how strong?"

"Uhh… Forget I said that. It's not important."

Vy'Tule is quick to oblige.

[gyldenglor]

Humans are Space Orcs - Focus

"Have you seen Peter recently?"

Vy'Keen was nervous. She hadn't seen Peter since the morning meeting. By now he was usually causing some kind of issue - either he had said something that confused and scared one of her crew, or he had behaved in some way that offended someone.

Sophie looked up from her spreadsheets with a frown. "No, captain - why? Is something the matter?" She rolled her eyes. "What, did Peter get a little nick on his finger, and Vy'Tule overreacted again?"

Vy'Keen was stunned. "Overreacted? His external membrane had been pierced, he could have spilled out of it!"

Sophie grimaced. "While that is terrible imagery, I can assure you that nothing like that would happen."

Vy'Keen let it go, for now - clearly, humans had no sense of urgency. "Well, if you haven't seen him recently, I'll keep looking for him."

"Wait, I'll just ping him." Swiping her finger across her terminal, Sophie shifted from the fiscal reports over to the inter messaging system. "Why are you so freaked out about not having seen him all day?"

"Usually, by now, he's caused some kind of issue," Vy'Keen explained. "The fact that the ship has been quiet today is...unusual."

"Oh, come on, he isn't that bad," Sophie insisted. "Yeah, he tends to not think before he speaks, but he's a good guy. And besides, most of the 'issues' are just people overreacting."

There that word was again - overreacting. Did humans think of everything severe as minor inconveniences?

A light ding indicated Sophie had received a message. "He replied - see? Everything's fine." She paused while reading it. "No, no - that's just an update on our order for extra fuel… Oh, hey, we're getting a discount! That's good news."

"Indeed, but it is worrying that Peter did not reply." Vy'Keen was loathe to violate the privacy of her crew in such a way, but she had no choice.

With a wave of her hand, the ship's web of medical scanners came to life, and a screen came up showing the location of all life forms on the ship.

As was expected, herself and Sophie were in the logistics bay, right near the cargo bay.

Vy'Keen peered over Sophie's desk, and, just as the map indicated, Annie the juvenile canine was sleeping on the humans' lap. Vy'Keen couldn't help but feel fondness for the puppy - puppy love truly was a most poliferace contagion.

"Wow, you're using the bio-map? You're really freaked out about this, aren't you?"

Vy'Keen simply nodded in response. She tapped on Peter's name in the crew manifest to isolate his signal.

Surprisingly, he was exactly where he should be - in the engineering bay. However, he seemed… Fatigued.

"See? Nothing to worry about - he's just working."

"Yes, but you humans have notoriously short attention spans. He's probably made a toy out of the engine."

Sophie waited for a moment before rolling her eyes. "Oh, yeah, no offense taken."

"What?" Vy'Keen sighed - another foreign sensation she had adopted. "No matter. I'll go there immediately."

"Alright - have a good one, captain."

The captain nodded and walked away. She didn't have time to ask what the 'one' was referring to, and how it could be good.

When she arrived at the engineering bay, she was stunned by what she saw.

Peter was sitting at his terminal, eyes fixed with the focus of a true predator.

He was typing incredibly fast - faster than should have been possible, given the nature of the human finger.

"He's been like that for hours." Vy'Keen jumped a little as Vy'Tule approached, unannounced. The Kral engineer was a full head shorter than the captain, and with green scales that complimented the Captain's light blue.

"I've never seen so much focus in my life. And he's only missed a handful of keystrokes. Quite frankly, it's amazing."

With one final, exaggerated key press, Peter leaned back when a sigh. He looked up and gave a weak smile.

"Hey captain," he mumbled. "Just working on the course plotting - hopefully this will make it go a bit-" a yawn interrupted him. "A bit… Faster."

"It's quite impressive," Vy'Tule chimed in. "It is a derivative of what the humans refer to as A Star. Except it takes fluctuations of space and time into account."

Vy'Keen was taken aback. "But that has to be done manually, by reading from a network of sensors."

"Yeah, but I patched into said sensors, and automated the process of calculating the fuel usage discrepancies," the human chimed in.

Peter sat upright with a small grin as text flew across the screen. "And done! It worked perfectly - finally." He smiled sheepishly at the captain. "This is my fifth reiteration of the code - and I was really hoping to avoid having to get as complex as I did, but hey - it had to happen."

"Will you finally take a break now?" Vy'Tule pleaded.

"Wait, you haven't taken a break all day?" Vy'Keen frowned. "Even the Kral take breaks, and I know for a fact that humans are supposed to eat food halfway through the day. It's a requirement for your species. At least tell me you ate."

Peter shrugged. "Nah. I forgot to."

Vy'Keen glanced at Vy'Tule, who simply shook his head. Vy'Keen released a sigh of irritation - of course Vy'Tule wouldn't be able to force the human to take a break, or eat food. It would seem that nobody could force a human to do anything - with the exception of herself. And Annie.

"Whoa, you sigh now?"

"Because of you, yes." Vy'Keen stomped over to Peter, and with her imposingly large arms, picked him up and slung him over her shoulder.

"Whoa - hey, what the hell are you doing??"

"I'm going to force feed you like the hapless child you are." Peter had to close his eyes as he adjusted to his new position - the Kral were, on average, around seven feet tall, with most of that height being in the legs.

When he finally opened his eyes, he couldn't help but stare in fascination - he had never seen a Kral's tail from this angle before, and he could really see how it adjusted for her balance, repeatedly flicking and swaying as she walked.

"This is why I can never leave you alone. You always do something incredibly dangerous to your health, or you damage something, or you scare someone."

"Captain, I'm fine! Please put me down - you're starting to worry me."

"*Me?* Worry *you?* You're malnourished, you stupid human - you're going to get sick!"

Peter tried to argue further, but his protests fell on deaf ears.

At this point, the commotion had drawn some attention. A few crew members watched for a moment as the captain passed by, but didn't pursue. They had learned by now to steer clear of human shenanigans, especially when Peter was involved.

Meanwhile, the other nine humans on the ship were on their way to get Peter from the engineering bay for dinner. A lot of them had worked with him before, so they knew about his tendencies to work himself too hard - and sometimes even skip lunch!

Suddenly, their captain came from around the corner, bickering with Peter, who was at an odd angle on the Kral's shoulder. She walked right past them and towards the mess hall, preoccupied as she was with the squirming human.

The humans all exchanged glances, and a few traded bets on what had lead to this occurring.

They then calmly continued on their way to the mess hall, and what promised to be an eventful dinner.

When Vy'Keen made it into the mess hall, she barked some quick orders, flexing her authority as captain as she had the chef bring Peter's meal to him - she didn't want to risk him collapsing.

She plopped him down in a seat, and sat down right next to him, trapping him. She curled her legs underneath her seat, her three knees collapsing into one another to shorten her legs. He rolled his eyes, and finally stopped protesting.

Within a few moments, the humans strolled in, still debating what had happened. Peter's face reddened when he heard the word "date" thrown around.

Humans and aliens alike gave them a wide berth - aliens because they wanted no part in whatever this was, and humans because they wanted to observe from afar.

Dinner passed by mostly uneventfully - Vy'Keen and Peter ate in silence, although Vy'Keen watched Peter like a hawk, constantly reminding him to finish all his food.

After Vy'Keen was satisfied with the amount he had eaten, she stood with a hand on Peter's shoulder.

"Come - it's time for you to go to bed."

Peter stared at the captain, completely dumbfounded. Some of the humans within earshot snickered about Peter having a "bedtime".

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You need to rest - you worked too hard today. You skipped lunch, and I don't even want to know if you drank any water."

"Nailed it!" Heads swiveled towards Sophie, who was standing with her arms outstretched in a victorious pose. "Pay up, shit stains."

The humans grumbled, begrudgingly passing her some wage notes. Vy'Keen made a mental note to discuss this behavior with Sophie later. For now, however, she had more important things to worry about.

After being forced to issue Peter a direct command, the human sighed and exited the mess hall to go to his quarters. Vy'Keen followed him, as she did not trust him to stay on course.

"Where do you think I would go, captain?" Peter was growing irritated by this treatment.

"Back to the engineering bay. You would aim to fully deploy the algorithm you developed to the ship, which could very well take a few hours."

Peter was stunned. "Uh, okay, yeah - how'd you know?"

"I saw you message Sophie about how you were going to do just that. I watched you type it."

"I thought I was being sneaky…"

"You are wholly incapable of being anything but obnoxious."

Peter let out a bark of laughter, and Vy'Keen had to admit - she felt a surge of pride. She had, in fact, been attempting humor.

"I am glad you were able to see the humor in my words."

"That was good, captain! You're getting better at it."

Vy'Keen was very proud. The Kral valued humor - it was the ultimate form of the deliberate subversion of logic, and having a firm grasp of it showed how firm of a grasp one had upon adhering to logic.

However, since humor was a rare skill, it tended to go underused in Kral culture, and was exchanged exclusively between the intellectually elite. A cultural practice that tended to be misleading with regards to the intelligence of other species - ESPECIALLY humans.

When they finally arrived at Peter's quarters, the human was yawning every few minutes. "Wow… All that work is really starting to catch up with me. I'm exhausted."

"You humans never cease to amaze me - you have no attention span, but you can focus on a single task until it becomes a detriment to your own health."

Peter grinned. "We sure do." He scratched at his chin, and the light dusting of hair that covered it. "It means a lot to me that you were so concerned, captain."

Vy'Keen didn't know how to reply, so she went with a default for when a human professed such a thing - she hugged him. Something that the captain really only saw as a human-specific procedure - but that humans apparently saw as important to pack bonding.

"Hey, you don't need to do that!" Peter laughed in protest, despite reciprocating the hug. Another yawn wracked his body as they separated.

"Well, goodnight captain."

Vy'Keen nodded, and left him after making sure that the door had closed.

She went back to her own quarters, similarly exhausted from the excitement of the day. She sat at her desk, preparing to make an entry to the human guide regarding this behavior.

Before she did, she decided to check the map of vital signs aboard the ship one last time.

She immediately regretted it.

"Son of a bitch!" Vy'Keen found herself copying a human phrase of exasperation, before she raced off to intercept Peter, who was currently on his way back to engineering.

------

Entry #2,658,564

Author - Vy'Keen

Race - Kral

Captain aboard the S.S. Anne

Subject: Human Obsession

BEGIN REPORT

Yet another dichotomy in the nature of humans has been revealed - their attention spans.

While it has been well documented that humans have relatively short attention spans, which can last anywhere from less than a minute to two hours, it turns out that, like all things human, this is very much situational.

Today, a human aboard my ship skipped a mid-day break, did not eat his second meal, and did not ingest any water, as he was focused entirely on his work.

This same human had recently become bored during an autonomous maintenance period, and had partially disassembled his own terminal. The maintenance period had lasted for approximately thirty minutes.

And yet, he was able to stay focused on one task for well over eight hours, without pause. This surpasses even the most single-minded races in the galaxy.

This is apparently a phenomenon referred to as "obsession". It is apparently not uncommon, but the degree of obsession that my human engineer displayed today is. Apparently it is common with humans that have a condition referred to as "ADHD", or "ADD". Presently, I am not sure of the difference between the two - besides the obvious lack of a letter.

More research is needed, but after my brief observations and discussion with humans familiar with him, I would like to provide some friendly advice.

Firstly, please ensure that any humans you work with take regular breaks. Obviously, this goes for all races, even the Erqal - but for humans, if they become obsessed with something, they would gladly skip any kind of break.

Second, if you find that one of your humans has a tendency to behave in this manner, make sure that water is readily available near their workstation. When a human is so obsessed, they will neglect their own bodily functions and requirements - even the most basic need for sustenance will be ignored.

Finally, take strides to avoid being the object of a humans obsession. While the obsession displayed by my crew member was ultimately positive in nature, the predatory stance and glare clearly indicated that it could also be very, VERY negative. I dread what a human would do to something it was negatively obsessed with.

I hope I never have to learn.

END REPORT

[gyldenglor]

Humans are Space Orcs - Puppy Love

Entry #2,658,357

Author - Vy'Keen

Race - Kral

Captain

Subject: Puppy Behavior

FOREWORD

Please note that this is purely anecdotal - no scientific data will be divulged in this entry. Any and all data generated aboard my ship will be sold for a premium, with the exception of data considered pertinent to the continued coexistence of our races.

BEGIN REPORT

Over the past few months, the puppy Annie has, thankfully, ceased increasing in size. However, it is still very clearly maturing.

It has finally begun to void its waste exclusively in the designated litter. It has also started to abide by the ships schedule, rather than its own.

It has also ceased the destruction of property that had been plaguing the ship - it will only chew on the things provided to it.

But one habit that it does not seem able, or willing, to outgrow, is the constant need for affection.

There are times when it will lay, quietly, on its own. Or play with one of its myriad of toys (many of my crew have tripped over them recently, it has become such a hazard that the humans have taken to training the canine how to put away its toys.)

Nevertheless, it always seems to revert to a state in which it NEEDS attention and affection. It will jump, paw at the air, or scratch at a leg until it receives it.

It then reciprocates - nuzzling and licking and mimicking petting motions, as if attempting to pet the object of its affections. The canine will behave this way with both humans and non-humans alike, and even with inanimate objects. Thankfully, canine saliva is far less harmful than human saliva - however, as a precaution, the humans have taken steps to ensure that Annie will only lick humans.

(Annie is the moniker assigned to the canine by the humans.)

As such, it would appear as if both humans and canines exhibit pack bonding tendencies. However, in juvenile canines, this tendency is apparently referred to as "puppy love".

Lastly, a caution - it would seem as if "puppy love" is far more contagious in nature than human pack bonding. Many of my crew have taken to actively seeking out the animal to pet it at the end of their shifts.

Even the Kral among them, and even (to a lesser extent) myself, forego the logic of avoiding a predator with such large teeth, in favor of experiencing this "puppy love".

While it is shocking to experience lapses in logical judgement, and it can definitely be dangerous at times due to the nature of the canines "play" behaviors - which include nibbling, scratching, and sometimes even full-on biting - I would conclude that the presence of a canine aboard my ship is, in whole, beneficial for the mental states of all my crew.

Even Xlaxis, my medical officer, has enjoyed their time with Annie - especially when observing training exercises. They have compiled a significant amount of data, which will be consolidated, sold, and hopefully published within a year.

As a final note, I would recommend that if a human on your ship requests the presence of a puppy aboard, that you acquire one for them. Just make sure that when full grown, its size will be manageable. Also, ensure that the supplies and practices outlined in my medical officers' report are purchased and followed - so far, it has resulted in the puppy being mostly docile.

ADDENDUM

On a somewhat related note, the humans have begun to pack bond with the ship itself. They now refer to it as "her", and will affectionately pat on the older components and claim that it "gives her character".

In fact, when we used the income from our jobs and the data generated from the humans to upgrade the terminals in the crews quarters, some of the humans refused the upgrades. They claimed that the glass terminals had more of that supposed "character".

Also, Peter, a human engineer aboard my ship, has claimed that he has "modifications" on his terminal that he does not want to lose. I have yet to ascertain the nature of these modifications, but it greatly worries me.

Lastly, a new development in the human pack bonding behavior is that they have named the ship. They now refer to it as the "S.S. Anne". While this is apparently derivative of the name they gave the puppy, it is also some sort of "reference" - a topic for another time.

END REPORT

Across the galaxy, Vy'Keen had become near legendary for her reports, and for the quality of data generated from her researchers.

In fact, many humans hailed her as one of the most accurate in describing human behavior.

As such, ships of all kinds, from merchants to mercenaries, started to allow puppies on board - given that they followed the rules provisioned by Xlaxis.

It was soon discovered that puppies tended to be just as varied as humans in size and temperament, and so a new guide was started - the Puppy Guide. Given the fact that humans had already reliably domesticated the animals, they were, in fact, allowed to contribute.

Many of the contributions from humans ended up being images of a ships puppy, accompanied by blurbs of adoration. Contributions such as this had to be partitioned into its own section, to allow for easier access to important knowledge.

However, as with all things human, it became a lucrative obsession. Interstellar puppy mills were rampant.

Humans and aliens alike banded together to eliminate the practice. It turns out most of the mills operated in such a manner due to ignorance, so education was enough to stop most of the practices.

And, of course, animal abuse occurred on some ships. Thankfully, the humans had already established a robust protection agency for the animals throughout the galaxy, most of which were extensions of existing organizations - so most cases of animal abuse were quickly remediated.

And, at long last, after identifying ships by complex strings of letters and numbers jumbled in a frequency, many members of the Galactic Alliance finally started to name their ships - and almost all of them named them after their first puppy.

[gyldenglor]

The pronunciation of Gengar drives me up a wall

OMG THIS IS THE MOST WHOLESOME THING I’VE SEEN!! I STAN SO MUCHHH!!! 🎃

[gyldenglor]

The Unicorn Invasion of Dundee by Gloryhammer

Read this

I want to get better at drawing backgrounds and there’s no better way than practice. So reblog this with your favorite song or a song you like and I’ll do my best to draw something based on it.

[gyldenglor]

Humans are Space Orcs - "Fuck"

First off, I'm not really thrilled with how this came out, but honestly, I really can't think of a better way to write this. Sorry if it's not as good as some others.

----

Captain Vy'Keen calmly ate her dinner, occasionally stealing nervous glances over at the humans.

The humans were acting rowdy, and were getting even louder than usual. She knew that it was because of the "alcohol" they were drinking - essentially, pure poison - but she did not know why they were drinking.

As far as she was aware, humans only imbibe the mood altering liquid when celebrating, and she did not know of anything that gave the humans reason to celebrate tonight.

More importantly, she wasn't completely sure of where they had procured the drinks from. She had a feeling it was Peter, however - it was always Peter.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Xlaxis frantically balancing displays of each of the humans' vitals. They were documenting the effect of alcohol on the human body, and the ensuing behavior. Such data would be able to cover the costs for the repair to cargo bay door.

It could also probably pay for a more comfortable Captain's chair…

Hiding her activities, Vy'Keen began to browse the Galactic Net for Kral Captain's chairs. She was about to start the process of inquiring for measurements on one particular chair, when all the humans immediately went silent.

Alarmed, Vy'Keen looked up, shocked by the sudden change in atmosphere. Had someone been injured? Had the legendary Sixth Sense of the humans detected an impending attack?

From what she could see, neither had occurred. Instead, all the humans were staring at one human.

If Vy'Keen could roll her eyes, she would. Exasperation was something new to the Kral, but it was quickly becoming familiar to Vy'Keen.

"What?" Peter asked, a lopsided smirk plastered across his face. "I just said-"

"Yeah, we know what you said," another human interrupted him. Vy'Keen immediately recognized them as Lawrence - somewhat of a voice of reason among the humans.

"Y'know, buddy, I think it's time you cut back on the alcohol." Lawrence took the bottle from Peter.

Vy'Keen was shocked. She'd never observed such behavior before. A glance at Xlaxis revealed that he hadn't, either. There was a point at which humans made other humans stop drinking?

Vy'Keen was terrified. If this was that point, what would the humans do if they passed it?

"Alright, fine - but look, all I'm saying is-" the humans tried to shush him, but instead of quieting down, he raised his voice. "All I'm saying is, I'd fuck an alien!"

The humans all showed signs of exasperation, which pleased Vy'Keen. Clearly, it wasn't only her that found Peter to be… Tiring.

Although, she wasn't sure why. What was this "fuck"?

"Come on, man - you can't just say that in front of aliens, now they probably think you'll pounce on them the second you get a chance."

Vy'Keen tensed. Pounce? Did fuck mean to kill? She reached for the tranquilizer gun she had purchased when the humans joined the crew - and which she had made damn sure the humans didn't know about.

Thankfully, the crew had since retired for the night - Vy'Keen and Xlaxis had remained behind to keep an eye on the humans and their alcohol-altered behavior. So, there was no chance for panic.

"No, you fucking idiot, not like that," Peter protested. "I meant, like, if we were close, like emotionally close, and things started getting physical." He shrugged. "If I liked them enough, and it wouldn't hurt either of us, and it felt right, I'd do it. Also, I wouldn't fuck a colleague - can you imagine how weird that would be?"

Now Vy'Keen was even more confused. So to "fuck" didn't indicate any bodily harm, as he would only do it if it wouldn't hurt himself or the other?

"Dude." Lawrence shook his head. Vy'Keen was hoping that it would all stop here. "THAT would be the weird part?" A few of the humans chuckled, and Peter shrugged.

"Maybe it's just the alcohol," Peter mumbled. "Or maybe I'm just lonely."

"Or," piped up another male human, "you're just a horny bastard."

"Oh, fuck off, Brodie - you'd fuck a cantaloupe."

The humans burst into boisterous laughter, Brodie included.

Vy'Keen was familiar with the concept of a cantaloupe. However, its use in this context only served to further confuse her understanding of "fuck".

She decided it was about time for this to come to an end, she needed to know the definition of this term.

"Peter, what does this 'fuck' mean?"

One of the humans immediately spit out their drink, making that odd laughing noise. Another started to choke a little.

Peter started to blush. The captain understood what this meant, but was unsure why the human was embarrassed.

"Uh…" Peter turned to face the captain, but wouldn't make eye contact.

"From the context, I understand that we are not in any danger from this 'fuck'. However, this term seems to be important, and so it would be prudent for us to document its meaning."

And lucrative.

Peter froze. He looked to Lawrence for help, as he was completely out of his depth.

"Man, you dug this hole yourself," Lawrence remarked, casually sipping from his drink. "Don't get me mixed up in this shit."

Peter swallowed heavily, and the humans around him watched on, each more eager than the last. Even Sophie, who Vy'Keen had come to learn was a litter mate of Peter's, seemed to be enjoying his discomfort.

Although, perhaps litter mate was a misnomer - after all, they shared little to no genetic information, besides links to ancient ancestors.

"Uh… Well, to fuck means to, uh…" He rubbed the back of his neck. He really wanted to lie about it, but at the same time, he knew this would end up in the human guide - and he didn't want to facilitate the entry of false information into the guide.

"Well, in this context, when you say that you would 'fuck' someone, it means that… You would be intimate with them." Peter's blush intensified.

"Intimate?"

"Oh my God - he means mating," another human shouted, having grown sick of Peter's pussy footing around.

"Thanks, Jane," Peter muttered. "Real tactful."

"Anytime, babes."

If Vy'Keen could blush, she would. For the Kral, despite all the logic and calculations, mating was still a very intimate process - in fact, some believed that their minds practically merged during mating. Of course, science had proven this to be false.

"So… You want to… Mate with… With us?"

"Not with you specifically," Peter immediately protested. "A-and not with anyone on this ship! I wouldn't mate with someone I work with - only with someone that I got really close to. I would have to be in a relationship with them."

"But that wouldn't produce any offspring!" Peter turned at Xlaxis' sudden outburst. "There would be no point to it! Why would a human want to mate with anything other than a human!?" Xlaxis turned to Brodie. "AND WHY WOULD A HUMAN MATE WITH FRUIT!?"

"For humans, mating tends to be emotional," Peter explained, carefully. He seriously had to start diffusing this mess. "Which is what I meant when I said I would, you know…" He gulped, hoping to avoid reiterating himself.

"I wouldn't be particularly against being in a relationship with an alien, and if things got intimate, I don't think I'd have an issue with it."

"But what about the cantaloupe!? Food does not have emotions!"

Vy'Keen noted that she needed to start watching Xlaxis carefully - as her chief medical officer, and primary researcher into the humans, they had spent more time around the humans than any of her other crew, and they had become increasingly erratic and emotional.

"That's just because it would feel good - it's a kind of masturbation," Peter explained, forcing himself to somewhat dissociate as he explained it.

"What do you mean, 'feels good'? And what is 'masturbation'?"

Peter blushed even harder, and now the enthusiasm on the faces of his colleagues was starting to fade.

This was going to be a loooong night…

------------

Entry #2,532,129

Author - Vy'Keen

Race - Kral

Captain

Subject: "Fuck"

If a human says they want to fuck something, ignore it.

It's not important.

Truly.

Leave.

It.

Alone.

END REPORT

[gyldenglor]

Lava Cakes

i love animals that look like theyre full of lava

[gyldenglor]

This feels like an ASMR video. I would almost expect Ephemeral Rift to actually make a video like this.

This campaign defies censorship in social media to raise awareness for early detection of breast cancer

[gyldenglor]

Humans are Space Orcs - The Soul

Across the galaxy, inhuman life was glued to data pads and monitors.

A new entry had been made in the Human Guide - and it was particularly interesting.

Not only was it on the most elusive and mysterious subject of humanity, but it was written by a human! Who better to shed light onto the matter of the "soul"?

------------

Entry #2,532,129

Author - Name Withheld

Race - Human

Employment Information Withheld

Subject: The Soul

BEGIN REPORT

I've seen discussion of the human soul crop up all over the place, and I feel like I need to put a lot of these conjectures to rest.

First and foremost, the "soul" is not a physical thing - and if it is, then nobody has yet to find it.

It is also not a unique concept.

All throughout the galaxy, every individual, sentient life form has some concept similar to the soul. They all have a sense of self - a sense of who they are, what they like, and a set of memories that are entirely their own - with the noted exception of the hive mind of the Zol.

Not to say that I think that the hive mind is a bad thing - it's just so different for me, personally, that I find it very hard to understand.

However, what truly sets the soul apart, is how broad of a concept it is - and how ubiquitous it is throughout our culture, and our history.

To really explain the soul, I have to take a detour to a time long before modern medical science.

A long, long time ago, all fluids in the body were classified under one moniker - "humors". They were assumed to be interchangeable, to an extent, and the cause of sickness was believed to be "dirty", or "impure" humors.

Obviously, this is not the case - we have plasma in our blood, water in our lymph nodes, mucus in our membranes, and cerebrospinal fluid in our spine, to name a few. But before we understood this, we had something step in to fill the gaps.

It is very much the same for the soul.

The core concept of the soul has remained the same, but as a whole, it's been tweaked, and even pulled back a bit.

In short, the soul is what makes us who we are - without the soul, we would just be another animal. And while we know now that there is quite a lot of physical things that go into our personality, for a long time all of that fell under the umbrella of the soul.

As we discovered more and more of human biology, and determined where and how memories are stored and emotions are experienced, we were able to pull back the curtain and expose the soul for that it really was - a placeholder for a lack of knowledge.

But with all our knowledge, there's still a few things we can't quite figure out. We don't understand, for example, why we are all so different - there's no evolutionary advantage to it, beyond having specialized roles in a community.

And even then, two completely different individuals could perform the same role, in much the same capacity.

We also don't understand why we love. Love is something else that has come up here, and everything said about it so far has been accurate. It's beautiful and terrifying - peaceful, and violent.

So, to explain it away, we claim that it's because of the soul - that the soul drives us, and is why we feel that things we can't understand.

So, at the heart of all of this lies a single, unchanging answer to what the soul is.

The soul is, in short, us.

In a more literal sense, it's really just a placeholder - it represents that which we either do not, or simply can not, understand about ourselves.

But its true definition, when someone discusses the human soul, is that it's us.

My soul is me - it's the unphysical manifestation of who I am, it's what my brain has created and continues to create. It's the part of me that is illogical, irrational, and emotional - it's just me.

And I'm sure that all humans would agree on that - the soul is not some separate entity from oneself, but it is them. It's what we use to explain away the fact that we exist, and perceive the world in our unique ways.

What humans won't agree on, however, is whether the soul truly exists.

The religious among us claim that the soul is of divine origin - that it is a piece of a God, bestowed upon us in that God's eternal love.

There are variations upon this throughout religions - some believe it is a product of multiple gods, and some believe that it is the beginning of a god, and that by leading a virtuous life, we can be resurrected a little closer to godhood in the next.

The scientifically minded of us, myself included, believe that the soul is simply created by the brain, and preserved alongside the mind as two halves to create one whole person - the intellectual and the emotional.

So, for me, the soul is my emotional self - and a convenient way to explain that which we do not yet understand about human nature.

END REPORT

------------

The outrage was immediate.

Millions of life forms demanded a further explanation, and many stated they were even more confused.

One reader of the guide left a comment on the entry, claiming that the statement that it's "what we don't understand" isn't good enough.

The sentiment was echoed across the universe, with complaints becoming more and more aggressive, with comments such as "the fuck IS this bullshit?"

There was a brief manhunt for this so-called "Name Withheld" - a concept that many aliens weren't familiar with. Anonymity had not been considered important on the Galactic Network, after all.

The author was quite relieved that they had had the foresight to keep their name off of the entry.

Within a matter of hours, the entry was removed from the Human Guide, replaced with a missive on how only fact and hypothesis was allowed on the guide - not opinion, or flights of fancy.

Furthermore, humans were forbidden from writing in the human guide - many life forms turned to it as a lifeline, and sometimes even in life or death scenarios. There needed to be truly helpful entries, or entries that touched upon particular behaviors and attributes - not half-baked, philosophical ramblings.

Aboard Captain Vy'Keen's ship, the humans all laughed about it. They seemed to focus on the engineer Peter especially when making jokes - almost as if he had something to do with it.

[gyldenglor]

Humans are Space Orcs - Puppy

A soft rap on the door dreamed Vy'Keens' attention away from her paperwork. She looked up with the indomitable patience of a Kral.

That patience immediately began to wane as she saw a human standing at the entrance to her quarters.

"Peter - how can I help you?"

Peter smiled, being careful not to show his teeth - while many aliens have learned that it's not intended to be aggressive, Peter still felt that it was best to err on the side of caution.

"Hey captain - do you mind if I ask you for a favor?"

Vy'Keen leaned forward, interested in what the human has to say, yet still cautious of what the outcome could be. "Go on."

"So, you know how Sophie's dog died, about three months ago?"

"Yes."

"Well, I've done some research, and I found a rescue puppy ready for adoption on a nearby planet - it wouldn't be far out of the way, we could be there within less than a day."

Vy'Keen hesitates. She's aware of the nature of a juvenile dog being referred to as a puppy, but she doesn't understand the logic.

"Why would she want to have a new dog?" Vy'Keen inquires. "Wasn't this one painful enough?"

Peter smiled sadly, an oxymoron that Vy'Keen herself had only recently started to understand.

"Humans are stupid that way," he explains. "We love to love so much that we barely consider the end result. Dogs live such short lives, in comparison to us, that the result is almost always that we're left mourning them, heartbroken and devastated.

"And you know what? It's worth it every time."

"So… It's worth it to have your heart cease functioning?"

"No, no - to be heartbroken means to be really sad," he hurriedly explained before the captain could call for a medical exam on Sophie for a broken heart. "And Sophie needs to be able to move on - and there's no better way for her to do that than to adopt a new dog. I know it seems counterintuitive, but it really is the best option for her."

Vy'Keen took a moment to think. "And this new dog - it would be similar to this one, correct? And it would not present an issue to the crew?"

Peter sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "So… It may need to be potty trained. And trained in general."

"Potty...Trained?"

"Yeah - Spot knew how to use a litter box designed for dogs, so his waste could be easily disposed of. The new puppy, though, will have to learn how to do that - and while learning it would be confined to Sophie's room, so if it has any… Accidents, it won't be anywhere except for where we can clean it, and it won't be a hazard."

Vy'Keen hesitated, but she trusts Peter's judgement - as much as she could trust the judgement of such an illogical race, that is.

"And what of the other training?"

"Just to make sure it behaves well, and respects personal space," Peter clarified. "Also, it may be...loud."

"Like this dog was?" Vy'Keen thought back to the errant 'barking', which while loud, was rare enough to not be an annoyance.

"Yeah, but, constantly." Peter had a feeling he wasn't doing himself any favors - but he didn't want to deceive the captain. After all, he had the utmost respect for her. "We could soundproof Sophie's room while we train it to be quiet."

Vy'Keen's tail twitched, betraying her underlying anxiety regarding the situation. "While I do prioritize Sophie's mental wellbeing, I would very much appreciate keeping the rest of my crew comfortable. Is there any other way to ensure this animal would not be disruptive? I fear that soundproofing her quarters could result in safety concerns."

"Well, they do make collars that alter its bark to be audible only to humans, but they're not exactly cheap."

"Then the cost for that would come from your wages."

Peter nodded. "Yeah, makes sense."

"Is there anything else that I should know about?"

Peter hesitated before continuing. "It's going to have to chew a lot, but chew toys shouldn't be an issue."

"I'm familiar with the concept of teething," Vy'Keen explained. "My kind undergoes teething when our ability to chew tree bark develops."

"Perfect! So, can we actually do this?"

Vy'Keen paused. There were many, MANY reasons not to, but for some reason, she felt that the potential benefit to the human crew may be worth it.

Furthermore, to be able to document the growth patterns and behavior of a death world predator, as well as how humans train them, could generate a significant amount of revenue, and the ship DID need some expensive maintenance...

"So long as we can collect data on its growth and the training process."

"Absolutely!" Peter enthusiastically agreed.

"Send me the coordinates and we can arrange for a stop to pick up this animal," Vy'Keen commanded. A part of her couldn't believe she was saying yes.

She knew that if it weren't up to her alone, yes may not have been the answer the human received - luckily for him, however, Xlaxis and the security officers had already cleared canines for extended stay on the ship, meaning that Vy'Keen could make these decisions on her own.

She hoped she wouldn't come to regret it.

"And I will notify Sophie-"

"No!" Vy'Keen nearly jumped out of her chair at the sudden exclamation. Instinct kicked in as she cautiously watched the human, ready to run. "We actually have a way that we wanted to tell her - if that's okay. Maybe at dinner?"

Vy'Keen's patience dwindled further. At this point, she just wanted the exchange to be over. Why must humans insist to deliver information in convoluted ways?

"If you must."

Peter thanked her, and she dismissed him. He hummed a strange tune as he left, one that Vy'Keen couldn't quite understand - after all, the Kral had no concept of music.

Later that evening, when the crew gathered for dinner, Vy'Keen made sure all human crew members were present.

She made sure to informed Xlaxis that they should record the occasion, explaining the circumstances and the opportunity to observe humans partaking in 'surprise'. Xlaxis readily agreed - they knew very well just how much could be made from such an observation.

About halfway through the meal, at which point the humans had already made a mess, as usual, (thankfully they always cleaned up after themselves,) Peter called for everyone's attention. Xlaxis immediately started documenting the occasion, recording visuals and audio, as well as the biometric data of each of the human crew members.

"So, Sophie, all of us decided to get a surprise for you," Peter announced. "And don't worry, the captain already said yes."

Sophie seemed very confused, and her biometrics indicated an elevated heart rate.

Peter pressed a button on a remote, and the hologram protector for the mess hall came to life.

Vy'Keen had no idea how he had gotten his hands on it, but she would have to make sure that Peter explained himself later.

If he had somehow managed to, once again, replicate the functionality of a remote on the ship, she would need to reprimand him.

A hologram of a juvenile canine shimmered into view - it seemed to be very small, and was completely brown. Vy'Keen was taken aback by how different it looked in comparison to Sophie's deceased dog - Spot had been white with somewhat small eyes, and small ear flaps.

This one seemed to have eyes too big for its own head, and ear flaps that hung down past its jaw.

Sophie let out a massive gasp, and her biometrics indicated that her heart rate had skyrocketed. Xlaxis became concerned for a moment, on standby in case she had a 'heart attack' - such an occurrence had only been observed once before, and the texts humans had presented to explain human biology were still being studied.

So, the only widely-known symptom of a heart attack was an erratic heartbeat - and when the heartbeat changes depending upon how the individual is breathing, it can make catching the attacks very, very difficult.

"She's a Beagle Chihuahua mix, and when we pick her up, she'll be ten weeks old. Her name is currently Phoebe, but we can change it -"

"Annie," Sophie immediately blurted out. "Her name is Annie!"

Peter grinned, and some of the crew shrunk back at the aggressive display of teeth.

"Annie it is then."

Sophie let out a squeal, and jumped up to wrap her arms around Peter. "Oh my God, thank you so much! I'm so happy!" The other humans laughed and slapped their hands together.

Vy'Keen couldn't help but feel happy with regards to how this had played out. She didn't understand why she felt happy - perhaps she had begun the process of pack bonding, as well?

------------

Entry #2,532,176

Author - Vy'Keen

Race - Kral

Captain

Subject: Warning

BEGIN REPORT

I've made a terrible mistake.

I let the humans bring a juvenile canine aboard my ship.

Yes, the humans have higher morale than previously thought possible. Yes, Sophie, whose pet canine had passed away recently, has recovered significantly in her mental health.

However, after three months, I must warn anyone reading this report: DO NOT LET A PUPPY ABOARD YOUR SHIP.

They are a constant source of chaos.

Thankfully the humans invested in a collar that renders its ceaseless exclamations inaudible to anyone but themselves. However, we can still see and feel the effect it has on the ship.

Every morning, it wakes at the same time Sophie does. And it goes absolutely wild.

Occasionally it escapes from her quarters, and will proceed to sprint throughout the entirety of the ship. We thought the humans were fast. We were fools.

The humans can barely keep up in their attempts to catch it. They must appease to its hunting instincts with small biscuits in order to get it to approach, and even then it will sometimes outmaneuver them and continue its rampage.

It will pick up anything left unattended, and shake it around and chew on it. It has ruined many, MANY pairs of my crews footwear and various other protective coverings of the same functionality.

Luckily, it no longer urinates or defecates wherever it deems appropriate, and will actually go to its designated waste area. For the first month, the biohazard team was on high alert. I had to give them bonuses.

And as quickly as its rampage begins, it ends. It seemingly randomly collapses and falls asleep.

The humans then pick it up and dote on it, speaking in bizarre ways to it, kissing it over and over again.

Sophie and Peter, especially, obsess over it. There are times that I've walked into the meeting room in the morning, and found Peter, Sophie, or both of them barely conscious on a seat, with the puppy curled into a ball on their laps.

I must admit that I've experienced flaws in my logic.

I can, and will not, force the humans to remove the puppy from the ship, as it appears as if pack bonding is… Contagious. I have grown to like the puppy, despite its terrifying predator instincts.

Furthermore, I fear the humans would mutiny if I forced them to reject their predator companion.

Finally, the amount of data we have generated from this one specimen alone is amazing. It turns out, humans can actually pack bond on sight - even when it's only a picture, or in this case, a hologram.

The puppy has entered my quarters - apparently it has escaped Sophie's quarters, yet again. I can hear the humans attempting to call it towards them.

I'm going to attempt to hold the animal in my lap, to observe why humans enjoy doing so. I will return to this report once I've completed my attempt and will fill in my experience.

END REPORT

ADDENDUM

I now have the puppy in my lap.

It was terrifying to approach it. It watched me with the cold, calculating stare of a predator.

When I finally bent to pick it up, it raised onto its hind legs and stretched its front legs towards me. I do not know if this was a display of aggression, or wanting to be picked up.

I picked it up in the same way the humans do, with one hand on each side. I was careful not to injure it with my claws, to ensure that it would not become enraged and attack me.

I carefully carried it to my seat, sat down, and placed it on my lap. I made sure to stay completely still so it would not perceive aggression, or an attempt to flee, on my part.

It curled into a ball and is now asleep.

I feel an inexplicable fondness for the predator.

From this, I can draw only one conclusion.

Pack bonding is contagious, and I have caught it.

[gyldenglor]

Humans are Space Orcs - Sadness

They thought they had heard a human scream.

They thought they had seen a human express sadness.

They thought they had seen humans come together to support one of their pack.

They had experienced nothing.

The light in the ship was dim, indicating that many of the 50 crew were close to ending their sleep cycles.

It was silent in the usually busy halls of the relatively small ship. The ship was big enough to comfortably house the crew and equipment, but small enough to ensure that, outside of each crew members' individual quarters (a luxury that set this ship apart from most), privacy was quite a commodity.

Only a few crew members wandered throughout the ship, either performing the odd maintenance, stopping by the restroom, or perhaps simply taking an early morning stroll - a calm morning, for which many of the life forms were relieved.

With ten humans aboard that can alter their sleep cycles at will - and apparently, not at will - a calm morning was something to treasure indeed.

Any pretenses of calm were shattered, however, by something the likes of which the 40 non-human crew members had never heard - a wail of unwavering strength, one that threatened to deafen the more sensitive inhuman life forms.

Within moments, every single one of the crew were awake, puzzled and afraid.

The wail split through the air again - all life forms rushed from wherever they were to the small meeting room, fear evident on their varied features.

Even the stoic captain, a logical and precise specimen of the Kral, seemed nervous.

They all exchanged clueless stares, wondering who on their ship could possibly make such a noise.

The wail came again, and all the crew flinched - all except the humans.

The humans exchanged glances, and immediately took off, practically sprinting to the source of the cry. Immediately the non human crew began to panic.

"Was it a war cry!?" One demanded. "It sounded so…aggressive." Many of the others follow suit with their own worries as the captain struggled to maintain control.

One human, hearing the dissent, turned back to explain the scream.

"I think that was Sophie - she's REALLY upset," the anxious human explained. "It sounds like she might be hurt - Xraxis, come on, we may need you!"

Startled by the demand, but relieved that it's not a sign of aggression, the Erqal medical officer spread their insectoid wings, the rapid beats lifting their diminutive form up and propelling them forwards much faster than they could run, and at a speed that could match that of the humans' sprinting.

A handful of crew, including the captain, rushed to follow, concerned both that a fellow crew member may be injured, and that the ship may be damaged in some way.

When they finally arrived, what they saw was not at all what they expected. The human Sophie was on her knees, her eyes leaking excess water, her body shaking with heaving breaths and wails, but she seemed unharmed.

Oddly, she was holding something in her arms, but it was obscured from view by the other humans that had crowded around her, each of them seemingly mimicking her behavior, but to lesser degrees.

"Sophie - are you hurt?" Xlaxis immediately inquired, bringing up a holographic diagnostic display, tapping into the ships' myriad of medical scanners to quickly check the status of the heaving human.

"N-No," Sophie managed to choke out, burying her face into the thing she was holding, sobbing harder and harder with each passing second.

Xlaxis, the crew that had come to investigate, and the captain all hesitated to ask what, exactly, was wrong - they had never seen a human act this way, let alone humans surround another human and mimic them.

Suddenly, one of the humans stood, and sprinted right at the crew watching!

"Move - fucking move!" The human shouted. The crew assembled in the doorway were quick to comply, watching in abject horror as the human barely made it to the bathroom before violently regurgitating.

Klaxons sounded immediately, and some of the crew rushed to get full biohazard containment suits on - when humans did this, the horrifically acidic contents of their stomach could eat right through some of the less armored crew, and possibly even the ship itself!

Xlaxis moved to check on the human that had regurgitated, considering enforcing a quarantine, in case it was contagious. However, he was distracted by a glimpse of what Sophie was holding.

Now that the human had left the huddle, Xlaxis could clearly see that Sophie was holding the body of a deceased predator - something the humans called a "dog". The medical officer was familiar with this specimen - Sophie cohabitated with it in a terrifying display of human dominance.

Xlaxis rushed over. "Human, you can't be near a corpse! It could carry infection!" They reached out to take the beast away from her, but recoiled when the human absolutely SCREAMED at them.

Xlaxis stepped back, barely able to understand what the human was saying beyond the sheer volume of the exclamation. She hugged it closer, and stood, turning away from the huddle and seemingly… Talking to it?

One of the humans gave Xlaxis a terrible glare, one that led them to believe they would die within a moment.

One of the humans shoved the one glaring at Xlaxis - Xlaxis knew this one, his name was Peter - he was part of the engineering crew, and frequently came in with various inexplicable injuries. "Don't give him that look - he doesn't know what's going on." Peter stood and began gently talking to Sophie. The other human quickly apologized to Xlaxis.

After accepting the apology per human customs, Xlaxis walked over to hear what was being said. They needed to know what was going on - how else could they do their job as medical officer?

"Sophie, he's gone. And look, Xlaxis is right, you can't hold onto him like this - look, just, give him to me, okay?" Sophie violently wretched herself away from the other human. "It's okay, it's okay - I'm just gonna him on his bed, make him comfortable, put a blanket over him - see?"

All that could be seen of the dog now was the lump under the blanket, and a little bit of tail.

Weary of angering Sophie again, Xlaxis tugged on Peter's sleeve, and informed him that they should bring Sophie to the medical ward immediately, to check for infection from the body.

"Yeah - we need to get her out of here, and it'd be good for her to be alone for a bit." Peter wrapped an arm around Sophie. "Come on, let's get you to the medical bay, okay? You can lay down there and be alone for a bit - let's just let Spot be alone for a bit, okay?"

Peter silently excused himself past the aliens in the doorway. Xlaxis spread his wings again, quickly following after the humans, his tail lightly dragging on the floor.

The other humans slowly filed out, closing the door behind them to ensure the body remained undisturbed. A member of the biohazard team that had just finished cleaning the stomach acid protested when he heard what was in there.

"Look, I know, it's a biohazard - we can put him in the morgue, okay? But we can't just dispose of him."

Confused, but relieved that they could remove the hazard from the area, they quickly assisted the human with moving the corpse to the morgue of the ship - a small room, betraying the hope of the designers that it would remain a safe ship.

When Sophie, Peter, and Xlaxis arrived in the medical ward, Peter gave Sophie some water and a blanket, then calmly explained everything to Xlaxis.

"That thing was a...pet?" Xlaxis asked in hushed tones, attempting to avoid offending Sophie.

"Yeah, and she loved him - a whole lot." Tears glistened in Peter's eyes, and his lips began to quiver. "I loved him, too - he was a good boy."

With that, Peter, who had tried so hard to keep it together for the sake of his friends and the crew, started to break down, immediately hugging Sophie as they cried together. Xlaxis sat there, dumbfounded by the turn of events.

After a moment, Xlaxis felt that they had nothing to offer, so they left - and immediately went to their quarters to update the Human Guide.

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Entry #2,532,127

Author - Xlaxis

Race - Erqal

Chief Medical Officer serving under Captain Ky'Veen

Subject: Pack Bonding and Sadness

BEGIN REPORT

Firstly, it turns out humans cohabitate with "dogs" out of desire to do so for happiness, not to display dominance due to being able to contain a vicious predator. Clearly, it is another instance if their bizarre "pack bonding".

Furthermore, when humans pack bond with something, this emotional and illogical bond does not stop at death. In fact, one can truly observe its strength in death.

A human crew member aboard my ship had one of these dogs as a companion. It died today, and the human was screaming as if she, herself, had been killed.

All the other humans gathered immediately, and even though some of them did not have much of a connection to the animal, they all shared in the sadness.

I don't believe sadness is accurate. This was something… More. Something… Horrible. I wish to never experience the profound depths of misery my crew mate experienced today.

Despite the animal being deceased, the human treated it with such reverence and care, so much so that one would think it could die again if she weren't careful.

Truly, pack bonding is an amazing phenomena - and if a human pack bonds with you, you can be rest assured that they will, in fact, remain loyal to you beyond your death - and at this rate, possibly even their own.

END REPORT

Thank you so much for reading! This is loosely based upon my own experience, in which I found my own dog of seventeen years passed away while home on my own.

It really is an absolutely horrible experience, and I realized after reading a lot of the humans are space orcs stories that aliens would be very, very confused by the behavior - after all, everything stops with death, so surely pack bonding must as well?