guestservicechronicles-blog

[guestservicechronicles-blog]

Guest: Can I get a lemon square?

Me: Sure! Just know it needs to be refrigerated if not eaten soon.

Guest: It needs to be refrigerated?

Me: Yes, if you're not going to eat it soon.

Guest: So, if I refrigerate it, it doesn't need to be eaten soon?

Me: y...yes...?

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We're about 20 minutes until close, sold out of most items.

Customer: So I'm going to get a dozen items.

Coworker: Sure, what flavors would you like?

Customer: *starts listing flavors without really looking what we actually have* Chocolate, lemon, red velvet...

Coworker: I'm sorry ma'am, we've sold out of red velvet for the night.

Customer: What..?! You don't have ANY? None?

Coworker: Well we do have red velvet in the smaller size, but not the bigger one.

Customer: But, you have NO big ones?? AT all?

Coworker: I'm afraid not, they were quite popular today, but I can give you a 2 for 1 on the mini's for the inconvenience!

Customer: NO that's not going to work! Ugh this is horrible! Red velvet is my F A V O R I T E!

Coworker: I'm sorry, ma'am--

Customer: I even had a COUPON i wanted to use for getting 10$ off 30$! NOW I CAN'T!

Coworker: I'll include the mini's as a substitute--

Customer: No i'm not going to get a DOZEN items if I can't have my FAVORITE! Ugh this is HORRIBLE!

I want to know what it's like to have a life so grand that my biggest issue ever is a store not having a flavor I want. This woman was about 45 years old.

[guestservicechronicles-blog]

Seriously?

30 minutes past close, all of the chairs put up, lights off, nothing in the case to sell (literally completely bare).

Person walks up to door, pulls on it, and is baffled it’s locked.

Proceeds to bang on window to get my attention.

Mouths “you’re closed?!”

Nah bitch we still open come right in.

[guestservicechronicles-blog]

Patience is a virtue

Me: *in the middle of a phone order with a guest previously on hold*

Coworker: *helping a previous guest*

Woman walks in: "Hi welcome, we'll be with you in just a moment!

Woman: Can you help me?

Coworker: Yeah! We'll be with you in just a bit, sorry!

Me to phone guest: "Alright let me just put you on a brief hold and get you a total for your order."

Woman when I approach register: Can you assist me?

Me: Yeah sure! It'll just (still) be a moment while I finish up with a previous guest.

Me: *approves order with guest, hangs up*

Woman: Can you help me now?????!>

Like we're both obviously in the middle of talking to other guests that have arrived before you ARE YOU BLIND WE WILL BE A MOMENT. I'm sure you're super busy but WE ARE ALSO VERY BUSY.

[guestservicechronicles-blog]

To my dearest customers,

You, dearest customer, see me using my finger to poke your order into the tablet register.

Why, dearest customer, must you pull out ALL OF THE WIRES EVERY TIME I ask for a signature? DID YOU SEE ME USING A STYLUS? No. DID I HAND YOU A STYLUS? No. I used my finger, USE YOUR FINGER.

Extra points to the morons who get frustrated when trying to use the BACK of their nail bed to sign!  “UGH, IT JUST... IT WON’T GO!” HMMM I WONDER WHY, YOU NEANDERTHAL.

Like I totally get the “new generation of technology” shit, but come on, YOU HAVE A SMART PHONE??? WHY.

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Free stuff?? You mean, FREE??? HOW DARE YOU."

I had just gotten off lunch and mentioned to a coworker that the city i work in generally gives us a lot of entitled mean people. It just does. I, however, thought to myself, “you know what? no. not everyone is the same!” So the next guest that came in, who happened to be a dad and his 20 something year old son, were choosing items as a snack. The dad chose a cake slice, and the son just wanted one cupcake. I, and as my JOB. FECKING. REQUIRES. was like, you know what? I”m gonna give them a full box on the house (aka 3 extra on the house) because it’s easter and we have SO many extra cupcakes. I just wanna give some out, make people happy, make my trash load lighter, etc.

30 minutes later, a woman comes in. long story short, this woman is the wife of the man i just helped and she is literally LIVID that i gave her husband 3 cupcakes on the house.

The husband was so nice and thankful! “omg really?? thank you so much! I love you guys!”

The wife?? “I WAS JUST IN HERE 30 MINUTES AGO AND BOUGHT EASTER STUFF. I JUST... CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED??? HE GOT 3 CUPCAKES? IF I KNEW THERE WAS A BUY 1 GET 3 FREE SALE BECAUSE YOU’RE CLOSING!!!!! I WANT A MANAGER!!!”

...it was 5pm we were not closing.

it is my literal job to “make days better” so adding on a couple cupcakes on the house is my job???

buy one get one?? what? no

lady???

what

? are you sane? no. you’re not. sane people don’t get livid and ask for managers when they’re sane.

manager then asks, “well if you don’t want the free cupcakes we’ll take them back??”

LADY WALKS OUT WITH FREE ITEMS???

WHAT

ARE

YOU

WAHT???

WHAT

WHAT.

I LITERALLY GOT YELLED AT FOR BEING NICE AND GIVING YOU FREE SHIT??

[guestservicechronicles-blog]

Special little cookie, aren't ya.

Me: Hello! How can I help you?

Customer: I'd like to get one of these cookies, the one on the bottom of the stack (cookies piled like a pyramid) in the middle of it.

Me: *sigh*

[guestservicechronicles-blog]

You mean I don't just get free things when I want them??

Customer: Do you have any birthday item options with like decorations and stuff?

Me: Yes, we could do decorations. What day would you like the items for?

Customer: No, like for birthdays during the month.

Me: *are there birthdays not during months??* What do you mean?

Customer: Like if it's my birthday month, do I get a free item?

Me: Oh! Yes, if you have our app, you get a free slice of cake on your birthday!

Customer: Your app? You have an app?

Me: Yes we do, when you sign up you get 2 free individual items, and for birthdays you get a slice of cake anytime during your birthday month.

Customer: How do I get my slice? I need the app?!

Me: Yes, Just wait for the notification to appear during your birthday month and it's valid all month until use.

Customer: I need to have an app to get my free slice?!

Me: ...Well yes, that's how we verify your birthday.

Customer: But I don't have your app!!!

Me: *not my problem* You can download it from the AppStore, then just input your information.

Customer (now angry): No you don't understand, I can't get your app!! I don't have any storage on my phone!

sTiLL nOt mY PrObLeM???? Delete some pictures??

[guestservicechronicles-blog]

You’re not even MY customer and I STILL have to put up with you

Today a guest called and was upset that the delivery of items they had received as a gift had no name attached to the card. They then proceeded to yell at me for ‘not doing my job’ because I had no way to pull up their order from a DIFFERENT STORE, and thus, “I’m going to leave you a bad review on YELP because you’re making my life difficult!”

Like, sorry you called the wrong store bro, but I can only do my job if you ACTUALLY HAD AN ORDER FROM MY STORE.

And what’s that review going to say? “I got a gift from someone and I’m mad at the store because the person who sent it to me didn’t give their name and I’m mad that a different store in a different city couldn’t help me!”

Yeah, that’ll work.

Tough guy threatening a basic employee with limited permissions and abilities with a bad yelp review. Classic. I’m shook.

[guestservicechronicles-blog]

But I don't WANNA!

Customer (known to be a pain in the ass to anyone): How do I get my points on the app?

Me: just use the same card that you have attached to the app and it will automatically add in your points.

Customer: But this card *hands me card* is not the one linked to my account.

Me: Do you have the one linked to your account on you?

Customer: it's in my car and i'm NOT going back out to get it.

Me: I see... well, if you have cash then you can upload the picture of the receipt and it will add the points that way, too.

Customer: but I don't have cash.

Me: Okay... well, the last thing you can do is link this card to the account before you pay with it?

Customer: But i don't want to do that.

Me: you just have to take a picture of the card, it's super easy--

Customer: I just want my points!

Me: well, those are the only ways--

Customer: but I'm PAYING FOR THIS I should get my POINTS!

Me: and you can if you just--

Customer: what if I tell you the number on the linked card??! WILL THAT WORK?!

Me: yes (and it would have avoided this whole tantrum you obviously just wanted to throw for attention.)

h8 u

[guestservicechronicles-blog]

Think before you speak.

Me to a mob of customers: Is anyone here NOT picking up a pre-order??

Random customer: I'm picking up a pre-order???

Me: literally not what I was asking.

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I don't want to make a big deal of it.

Every customer who is currently making a big deal of it.

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Don’t be that asshole

who dehumanizes an employee due to the price outcome of your order. Don’t tell us we should “be ashamed” when it’s more expensive than you thought. Don’t make us feel bad for simply working. Maybe you should ask how much something costs before saying you’ll get it and then being baffled at the register, making a scene. If you have a problem with prices or a product, then you go to a higher branch of the company. You do not insult or belittle the guest service employee who is just doing their job. If you have a problem with how much an item costs, simply say you’ve changed your mind and fucking leave. Otherwise you are being a pompous asshole taking your anger out on someone who has no control over prices or policies. We have done nothing wrong except relay information to you.

Fucking cunts.

[guestservicechronicles-blog]

No Comprende

Customer known to be very difficult: Can I get 20 mini cupcakes?

Me: of course, what flavors would you like?

Customer: half and half

Me: *confused because we have 4 flavors* so 5 of each flavor?

Customer: No, half and half!

Me: Of what flavors, ma'am?

Customer: VAH-NILLA, AND CHOCOLATE.

Me: ah, alright! *boxes mini's how we always do, this order takes up 2 small boxes, customer watching me the whole time instead of stopping me before I taped up everything*

Customer: Why are there two boxes???

Me: The largest box we have fits a dozen mini's, so there's 12 in this box, and the rest in the other box.

Customer: But I only want one box.

Me: Well, the largest box we have only fits a dozen.

Customer: But I bought 20!

Me: Yes, so there's 12 in this box, and 8 in the other.

Customer: But I only want ONE BOX!

Me: But we do not have a box that will adequately fit all 20 without a chance of them getting smashed.

Customer: I don't want two boxes.

Needless to say, I got my manager, who was just as frustrated, and told her if we put it in a larger box that she could not guarantee the mini's will stay put since the base of the box is too thin to hold all of them. But just to be spiteful, the customer took it.

I hope your mini's came out smashed af.

[guestservicechronicles-blog]

Well, when you work a *real* job...

cunt

I may work 38 hours a week, via 8 hour shifts, 5 days a week y’all, but I ain’t got no real jab!

[guestservicechronicles-blog]

The type of customer

that will ask a question, and before you can get a full answer out of your mouth, starts asking more questions.

Repeatedly.

[guestservicechronicles-blog]

Bitch don't want any basic vanilla, she want Gucci vanilla.

Customer: do you have just a plain vanilla cake?

Me: yes we do! It's this one *points*

Customer: but, is it just plain vanilla?

Me: yep, we just call it 'birthday cake,' but it's vanilla.

Customer: yeah but I just wanted a regular vanilla cake, not that one.

Me: it.. it is vanilla. The cake and frosting are both vanilla.

Customer: But it's not plain vanilla.

Me: it... yes..? it is? It's blue colored but ALL vanilla.

Customer: okay, I guess I'll get that one. I just really wanted regular vanilla cake.

Me: .__.