grazlands

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Crazy

I get that a certain genius had to utter my name as part of the game where you have to guess who’s  baby picture is being shown. But why me always? It’s probably thrice-- all the time he got the chance and was called to answer. I was entertaining the thought on whether he likes me or something. It’s probably something because he’s a family man, right? I’m thinking way too much about this. 

In these situations, I just keep my mouth shut. Yeah. 

And apparently, rant about it on internet in some platform that well, keep me sane at times like this.

Ok. I’m good. Perfect.

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Sick Again

I have been getting sick more often these days.

I hate it.

I may be getting old. Really :(

I need to be healthier 

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This is something that resonates to my being.

I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.

Sylvia Plath

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BACK!

Re-reading posts here takes me back in time. This served as a sort of journal full of emotional feels down the road around the time of posting.

I was so in love. I was confused. I was hurt. I got the rants here. HAHAHA

Now that I’m over that.. not that anything happened because I think most of them are feelings/love related posts, they were all the conversations, fantasies in my head, I wonder what I should talk about.

I’m not sure if I have matured enough through time but I guess I have adult problems now-- single adult problems like considering change of career, questions like “When will I meet the “one”?”, thoughts on success and my purpose in life and so on.

I don’t usually let these problems get to me but I guess nearing 3rd decade mark in this world makes you really wanna sit down and consider these things. What are your goals in the coming years? How do you plan to achieve them? And when I do that, it becomes so much harder.

You can’t simply go with the flow now. Or you can, depending on your financial capabilities. And there’s the pandemic. Ugh. 

So many things I want to do, so little time.. and money for that matter.

I guess I’ll end it here now. Until the next one :)

[grazlands]

I wanted to say I miss you.

I do.

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IKR.

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12 30 15 thoughts

Lagi na lang. Ang emosyonal ko na naman. Hindi talaga ata ako marunong mkipag usap sa mga tao. Haha. O hindi ko talaga forte yung makijoin sa baliktaktakan kahit na tatlo lang kaming magkakasama at "magkaka-usap". Minsan salamat na lang talaga at may smartphone akong kunyari nagpapabusy sakin. Bakit ba kasi hindi ako magaling humirit o bumanat. Minsan o kadalasan ang seryoso ko magcomment minsan naman wala sa lugar yung banat. Someone help me!

Gusto ko lang magsalita kapag feeling ko may nakikinig talaga. Sa nagsasabing may kadaldalan ako. Sana alam niyo kung gano ako kakumportable kasama kayo. At sa feeling naman naiignore ko pasensya na po minsan naiaip ko lang kung gano ka lame kung anuman yung sasabihin ko kumpara sa sinabi nyo na.

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😊😢

You have the power to make me super happy then super sad after a second. Extremes.

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This is something I have not done for so long and something that I have done because of a personal time challenge. 😆

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Trust Issues

I'm feeling betrayed. I have told you everything. You even throw in some things to add fuel to the fire. I end up looking like a person who does all the hating. I didn't told anyone your own issues. Oh, well. I guess it can't be helped. Let me be the bad guy. I wanted to play the part anyway.

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one of things im trying to learn. But i think mas kelangan ko ngayon ng tutorial kung pano maalis yung attachment na nabuo mo na before 😰😓😨 me ganun? 😄

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Hello There!

It’s been a while :)

I think Tumblr really is sort of a psuedo journal for me. Hahahaha.

If there’s something I would want to share but not really with the ones who really know me, this is the perfect outlet as I am currently totally anonymous to you guys right now except to my small number of friends who has tumblr account and at some point in time, actually cared to follow me :)) *winks for you*

It seems that I bother to post here when I’m feeling emotional for whatever reason— well.. mostly love issues I suppose.

I lack knowledge on handling these emotional surges so help me out here y’all.

Anyways, I’m happy to have find time to reset my password and reunite with my Tumblr account for the longest time.

I’ll keep in touch ;) *fingers crossed*

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Minsan kailangan mo din siguraduhin kung ano ka ba sa kanya.

Hindi lahat ng oras kailangan mong ibigay sa kanya.

[grazlands]

Psst

Confused na ko. Hahaha.

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Thoughts

I dont want you feeling sad. I want you happy. But it makes me feel sad that it's not me who brings that much wanted happiness to you. Knowing this, I almost always wanted to just forget all this feeelings I have for you but I can't because it would also mean forgetting the kind of happiness that only you can bring.

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Iniminiminimo

FactsGuide You got a point there. But it kinda makes me sad not knowing what to do next. It makes so afraid because I just realized that this is what I'm keeping myself from realizing and materializing all this time. Kasi mahirap... Kasi ang duwag ko.. Kasi ayokong masaktan.. Kasi im not sure if it's worth it..