gowthii-blog

[gowthii-blog]

Humans got no purpose!!

Just like those dinosaurs before us.

We assume importance and invent our own purpose.

Maybe all we can do is help each other while we still can. It's often difficult to get out of our heads and out of the importance that we attribute to ourselves and look out for someone else.

Maybe we should do that more often!

[gowthii-blog]

only time will tell..

You met by chance.

An utter chance of fate.

You are a moth to his flame.

As Berlin said, the most beautiful things in life happen unexpectedly..

What happens next is not known until it happens. What you know for sure is that you want him!! And that he is your safe heaven. And that you could peacefully sleep in his arms!

[gowthii-blog]

A lot of people believe we only find one true love in our lives. What they don't realize is that we can have several lives!!!

[gowthii-blog]

Don't be so sad. Something ends today, but now is the first day of your next life.

[gowthii-blog]

“It’s always very easy to declare that other people are idiots, but only if you forget how idiotically difficult being human is.” ― Fredrik Backman, Anxious People

[gowthii-blog]

Just Chill!

Once we have achieved what we craved for long, we heave a sigh of relief. We are proud in that instant. But moments later, it's all done and dusted.

We are headed onto our next quest..our hidden treasure of happiness!

Sometimes we find it, sometimes we are still lost after we lay hands on the thing we wanted until then.

Albert Camus rightly said - Life is meaningless, but worth living, provided we understand that it's meaningless!

[gowthii-blog]

19.05.2021 - Morning muse

I think we try to hold on to stuff that doesn't serve us anymore because we believe that something great won't happen twice. We may not get the same feeling from anyone else. We may not like anyone else. We know that once we let go, it's all over. It's the E.N.D.

But they say, "Every ending is a new beginning"! And yet, you are skeptical. You knew exactly how long it took you to like someone!! Just "like" someone, and not even "love".

Maturity has its own downsides.

[gowthii-blog]

I want you to get everything you want!!

When you love, you let them go!

The more you hold onto them, the more it stings. And it stings both ends in different ways. And I wonder, why people stay married?

And I wonder, why do two amazing people compromise to stay together unhappily?

We are humans. Novelty and adventure are in our blood.

How can a mundane marriage sustain for a lifetime? It has become even more evident with the pandemic era. As written in a book that I loved, "the longer they’ve been together, the fewer words they need to start a fight".

And why do they stay together? K.I.D.S

Are you kidding me? We don't like to see you arguing about trivial stuff all the time. We have a life to live, not a marriage to save.

Old happily ever after - Fall in love, Get married, have kids, and raise them up - Depletion of love!

My happily ever after - Don't let the love die. Love is the hope you can hold onto in desperate times. You need not stay together all the time. You can be away pursuing your dreams and goals and living the life you want to!!

Tell your penguin - "I want you to get everything you want". And just like that, let them go..!

On another note, penguins mate for life!

Note - This post is primarily written in the context of Indian family culture.

[gowthii-blog]

Don't get stuck..

Sometimes our emotions get the better of us and we tend to make some decisions in a flurry. It makes hell lot of a difference when those decisions are intended to change lives.

We aren't gonna last long on this planet..

And hence, maybe we shouldn't long for lasting relationships,

Maybe what we were all conditioned to have - a family, kids and security by the age of say 30 was indeed a mechanism that only worked in the previous era. We, humans underwent numerous transformations to get here.

Someone aptly said - "What got you here will not get you there"

So, isn't it best to crave small moments of joy rather than getting caught up in a web of activity that makes us lose ourselves?

To save ourselves from the questions that arise in those tiny secluded moments, "what if I could have done it all differently?"

Maybe we gotta decide early in our lives, how we would want our journey to be and evolve as we go by our lives.

From one soul to another - I wish you the power of resilience and a clear mind to help you choose "YOURSELF"!!

--Always and Forever!!!

[gowthii-blog]

I don't want to be lost living the normal! Mundane chores Making money Chasing stuff.. None of these! I want to be lost, in anything and everything but mostly sentences that invigorate me

Gowthami Bhogireddy

[gowthii-blog]

A philosopher once asked, "Are we human because we gaze at the stars, or do we gaze at them because we are human?" Pointless, really..."Do the stars gaze back?" Now that's a question.

Neil Gaiman

[gowthii-blog]

We are constantly rigged..

So my eyes opened when the Reddit guys were able to incur losses to the wall street biggie hedge funds. At the same time, I came across incidents how the super-big companies manipulated the commodities supply and rigged the share prices. So, basically what can anyone infer from this? 

The ones with the money can fuck us anytime in anyway they want to. 

Imagine you have shorted the shares of ABC company and in the next couple of minutes, the big companies start selling shares(just to create a phenomenon) and tank the share price, what just happened? The rest of the herd in the market would sell their shares, assuming something major happened at ABC. 

Do people like you and me even have a fair chance ?

They manipulate us to buy their products, they sell information at our expense, to imagine the length and breadth of it is so disheartening. 

Sometimes humans forget that they are indeed mere humans. We have evolved from stone age until today. We have created everything that we need to comfortably survive. But we need a check, we need a balance, we need to look around us and stop. To remember that we are part of an ecosystem, that we can only survive collectively as a group, and not when some people divide us and rule and not when the rich become richer and the poor become poorer. The clock is definitely ticking and the signs are everywhere. I don’t have a hope for humans, yes I don’t. It’s a cycle and it needs to end for something new to emerge. I believe we are moving briskly towards the closing end. But there are people with hope, and I want to believe their hope gives us wings to initiate change in a positive direction!!

“Nature always has a way of re-balancing itself, we only need to see what part we are going to play”

“The arrogance of man is thinking nature is in his control, and not the other way around.”

“A society grows great when old men plant trees in whose shade they know they shall never sit.” 

We need these people and their wisdom who can tear some things down and make us realize to go after things “that actually matter” and even then, “the clock won’t stop ticking, but it might slow down”. 

“We are stardust, we are golden and we've got to get ourselves back to the garden.”  - Joni Mitchell

[gowthii-blog]

The ones who birth us and fuck us too..

I came to this realization after having a conversation with a friend and after I  coincidentally watched a movie(TRIBHANGA) with a similar topic of discussion on the same day.

PARENTS, the ones who birth us and fuck us too in some ways!!

I judge them for who they are(only parents) and who they couldn’t ever be(never friends)..

Am I judging them based on the past societal culture in comparison with the present they couldn’t have ever known??Umm, maybe, but they are parents and they should have got it right.

I have these bursts of anger bubbling inside me when they don’t understand me and when they don’t even try to..

Did I ever ask myself “WHY”? No. Because I think I never wanted to stop. I wanted to take it out on them for everything they did and are doing. 

Letting out anger is a way of protecting my restless soul, just like crying is!! Just like how the dust settles after a downpour.

However, I never cared to ask myself, “the why”? 

Why do I think they did what they have done?

If only I would have stopped for a moment, I could have got my answer..

”We are fucking humans”

Life is hard and we fuck up, every single time. When we are single, our choices only impact ourselves. Once we are bound by familial relationships and when we finally take the time to ponder after the damage has been done, we can realize how those choices would have affected the ones who we say are everything to us.

Yes, I love my parents unconditionally. And yes, they fucked up!! And yes, I might fuck up too(if I ever have kids). 

Also yes, they are the only ones who love me unconditionally. Also yes, I forgave them long ago. But I am still living you know, and anyone who is still living will understand that it’s hard. It’s PRETTY DAMN HARD. 

“It’s always very easy to declare that other people are idiots, but only if you forget how idiotically difficult being human is.” ― Fredrik Backman, Anxious People

So, I shall remind myself that the choices they made (however fucked up those were) while they were living their HARD lives had caused some damage and I have to let it go.

From one human to another....whose time is rather very limited!!

[gowthii-blog]

More is always relative..

It took him many of his years hustling to realize that being rich and famous is not the answer to anyone’s happiness or the way of achieving meaning in their lives!!

Should we stop the race for a moment and think?

At least save some precious years in our life to find meaning and content instead of wasting away those same years working our asses to become rich (or more likely making more money than we do now)!!

Problem with making more is that - No one can define more!! 

More is always relative..

[gowthii-blog]

One day at a time

Gazing at the skies of blue..

Feeling the breeze on my face..

Peeping at my neighbor's window(I know, creepy)

While pondering..

I can end a placid evening only to find another the next day. When you think about life for long enough, it is bound to leave you poignant and grim. A future that would unfold without you realizing it.

Time always flies past, leaving us behind. And no matter how hard you try, you shall miss something. 

Making most of this momentary life and taking it one day at a time seems like the only viable option.

[gowthii-blog]

Listen! The Hate U Give Little Infants Fucks Everybody. T-H-U-G L-I-F-E. Meaning what society give us as youth, it bites them in the ass when we wild out. Get it?” Damn.

Angie Thomas, The Hate U Give

[gowthii-blog]

If one's different, one's bound to be lonely

“If one's different, one's bound to be lonely” -- Brave new world!!

I haven’t read the book yet. This thought clung to my mind while I was watching a young adult series on Netflix (Dash & Lily). I always tend to find comfort in fictional young adult stories when my real life gets troubling. Actually, I gotta say it’s not the life itself, but the mind that runs this life that causes all the disorder. Nothing new until here!!

And then the mind never forgets to cue us with some motivational ideas such as  -“GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND GET INTO THE GAME” . Uh!!! B.O.R.I.N.G. A game can only get fascinating while we can still get the hold of it and in this case, we are not the ones playing after all. The MASTERMIND is the M.I.N.D. And yes, I really don’t want to acknowledge the fact that “me” and “my mind” are the same. I am accused of 100′s of shortcomings every now and then, at least "blame” gotta be something I can aim at the MIND.

Now I gotta find the controller of the mind who’s in charge of starting multiple threads to process hell lots of information in parallel. Because, I definitely lost the thread that started this post. Muhahaha!! (It’s my mind, not me, phew!!)

Being in your late twenties is harder..(On that note, being in any “ties” is harder). I lately realized living itself is harder and that my previous notion of endless possibility that this life gifts us could be more of a curse than a boon. Maybe, a shorter lifespan would be more pleasant. BRAIN FREEZE.. THIS THREAD IS UNDER MAINTENANCE.

I am not really happy. I am not sad either. I think, it’s just L.I.F.E. We have been instilled with ideas and notions that enticed us into believing that if you hold onto hope a little longer, things would become better. We fantasize stuff to make us happy inside (all good until here) as long as we don’t expect them to translate into reality. If you are starting to believe that this is the story of a stupid, single late twenties lady about her “loneliness”, you are INCORRECT. 

She is single, but she is happy and sorted. Sleeping with another human under the stars would bring about a blissful night, but how do you silence all other nights that question you?? If you think that you can sleep with humans on all the other nights too, your MIND would get you. It would exactly say, “humans are emotional and dumb”. They are good at delaying real stuff for short-term chemical infused feelings that create happiness.

I don’t have a solution to this MIND problem, not yet!!

I think I can conquer the world by silencing all the noises in the MIND and find my lifeline.

But how do you find answers to any of these questions ?????

1. If I want to pursue what I actually love to do, how do I make money?

2. If I cannot make money, how would I carry on with my life, support my parents (a constant worry for people in late twenties), etc?

3. How the hell am I going to figure out what I love to do and when will I actually pursue it?

4. If many other COVID like diseases find their way into our lives hereafter, how will thinking about 1,2,3 even help? Just when I finish this thought and complete a new series/ a book, my MIND would rewind 1,2 & 3. 

And the answers elude us, as always!!

Note - What I started with doesn’t really correlate to how I ended this, just like L.I.F.E I suppose, so get on with your lives, fellas!!