goodnightmina

[goodnightmina]

fuck it, i'm thinking about playing mass effect again.

does this mean I will no longer be fixated on resident evil, and thus, never finishing my ongoing fics (besides requests) ?

unfortunately very possible

[goodnightmina]

a fic idea that i will never write

for a long time I've wanted to write an unreliable narrator retelling of RE4 incorporating elements from the hallucination/fog/Hook Man re4 cut content demos.

this isn't that. AT FIRST!

i don't know why but I got it into my head to write like...Suspiria inspired alternate re4 where Leon arrives in Valdelobos and they don't try and kill him. it's a behind the scenes cult at first.

but....hallucinating Leon thinking it's just something wrong with him when he's been stealthily injected with the plaga somehow....Strange Occurrences? Ominous but Ostensibly Friendly Villagers? Leon's Descent Into Madness?? then bring in the other concept as it starts becoming more of the RE4 plot.

i guess what i'm pitching here is re4 if it was a silent hill game. and influenced by Suspiria.

(I will never write this, I don't think psychological horror is in my wheelhouse. relies too much on pacing, which i'm notably bad at.)

[goodnightmina]

regret to inform the public that i am once again crying tearing up a little thinking about Tali’s "i have a home" line at the end of Mass Effect 3

[goodnightmina]

oh my god.

this is actually crazy to me

i've loved everything about you that hurts has ten-fucking-thousand views. that's-- 🥺 you guys???!?

i know that's not a real metric to how many people actually read it but. it is still a wild number for me to wrap my head around and i'm very grateful that even a fraction of that number enjoyed it

🥲

[goodnightmina]

my wife and i doing parallel play on this Halloween (I'm playing RE:0 and she's playing Veilguard next to me)

[goodnightmina]

oh dear .....

He's a girl dad fr🌸

[goodnightmina]

an author's note on the Big Remake Fic

the rework of i've loved everything about you that hurts is actually going to be the death of me.

(this is probably a little too far a look into my disorganized process but) never have i ever had a whole ass external plotting doc for something before.

this is not like, a confession of inexperience. i've written novel length shit besides this. like with original characters that had to be introduced and developed. (one might argue I used to be a more talented writer, whereas now a lot of my work relies on existing characterization and playing in a much more limited sandbox)

I think the final count was 157k words. and even that was planned and written out in the doc. plot arc, character notes, it was all barebones enough to fit in the same doc as the draft. i'm improvisational, perhaps to a fault, because of the way ADHD works. i don't plan-- funnily enough, this is something I get worse at as I age, which seems like it should be the other way around, but I digress-- I write what my brain's fixated on in the moment.

is that a bad sign for the completion of this work? planning is the opposite of spontaneous dopamine chasing. which i'd argue is one of the things that really holds me back in creative works, tbqh. idk, maybe. or maybe just a bad sign for my timeliness in getting it done.

but also like. coherence is good. I am so rarely coordinated and well thought out. even the other longfic I have brewing at the moment (agent Ashley one) started with a rough sketch of the general beginning and end and then backed into the character arcs from there. it's a lot more structured than my other multi-chapter work, but it's still not fleshed out.

maybe it's good that the remake only has four scenes written but a doc for character arcs, conflict planning, plot broken down not just into beats, but organizing those beats into arcs with a defined through line.... there's a lot of foundational planning that is antithetical to how I write at my most productive, but there's also the argument to be made that unorganized enthusiasm < less passionate, but well planned, methodical work.

idk. maybe it'll take eighteen years, just like OG4 and RE4R

[goodnightmina]

RE3R 3rd stage Nemesis fight on Nightmare difficulty, i hate you the most

[goodnightmina]

how does my Valenfield master document have thirty seven thousand fucking words and yet none of the vignettes and mini-arcs contained within are close enough to being done that I can post them?????

[goodnightmina]

i know re1 is low on the remake priority list cause they did one in 02 but .......................... can we get a re1 remake like they did for re2?? no fixed cam no tank controls. like yes I would prefer the rumored CV and RE0 ones, or a plot-corrected re6, but.... the way that re3r created so much more valeveira content........... we need a RE1 remake....so more people will write Valenfield....

i need to start writing Valenfield again

[goodnightmina]

i need to start writing Valenfield again

[goodnightmina]

i do feel like Chris and Jill fist bump after sex. unfortunate but true

JILL VALENTINE & CHRIS REDFIELD Resident Evil 5 / Resident Evil: Death Island

[goodnightmina]

Unfortunately i have given into the impulse to comment again, and i must repeal the earlier statement. I will try my best not to be fucking annoying about it, but I fear I'm back on my shit

people who comment on fanfiction are getting into heaven

(unless it's me. i understand it's annoying when i do it. i'm trying to stop <3)

[goodnightmina]

the most self indulgent fic idea of the day

Deus Ex: Human Revolution recast with RE4R characters

sigh

here's the thing. I love a man who feels dehumanized. the classic fucking cliche of ohh he has to be a hero but he has so many tortured, angsty feelings! we know. I'm exhausted by how boring I am as well. but, I am who I am.

long ass ramble below, there are a ton of parallels that make this surprisingly writable imo:

Leon -- especially "I was 'asked' to join a top-secret government program. Not that I had a choice"-ass RE4R Leon-- really leans into that. when the devs needs to write someone who's conflicted about the whole thing, they love to call that floppy haired emo bitch to the stand.

Why not go all the way with it? Leon's conscripted in canon. He slots right in for the Adam "I never asked for this" Jensen role. Take the metaphor to the fullest extent by literally making him a weapon-- yoink those arms right off and replace em with cybernetic blade arms that are too strong for gentle, intimate physical touch.

I think the plot would have to be blended-- for it to be properly self-indulgent, you know I need that eagleone in there. Ashley doesn't fit a super great role of any existing DXHR characters. Maybe Megan, as Adam's literal (ex) girlfriend but then I don't get my romantic fluff. Even though that is probably a more nuanced, less cliched romance than Leon and Ashley's knight and princess trope. (I love a cliched loyal, stoic bodyguard and charge who loves their big scary dog moment though. So.....call me cliched.)

I like Ashley Sarif (she'd go by her mother's maiden name, Graham, in the fic. Most likely, anyway.) as the President (of the Company)'s daughter-- still get that conflicted I want to...but I shouldn't...unless? angst between them that way. (but then that begs the question of how she gets involved in the plot. all the kidnapping in DXHR happens off screen, and then there's no eagleone developing)

Alternatively, Ashley is Malik, but then she gets less screen time and adventuring together for the relationship, and it's really more of a coworkers who spend so much time traveling together that something blossoms.

Luis I want to fill the Pritchard role. Less catty, but the homoerotic subtext remains alive. (As would he, if he stayed on the phone!) I think really, Hunnigan should fill this role as the mission coordinator/voice in ear. She really fits better. But then instead of sardonic banter, we mostly get Ingrid being professional, and that's less fun.

If Luis doesn't get a call back from the Pritchard audition, the natural role for him is Malik, in terms of plot position I'd like (bantering with Leon-Adam, kinda teasing him, but they're friends. who also have some sexual tension according to me and three other fanfic writers) or in terms of who he actually is as a character, Luis as Megan makes a lot of sense. Guilty scientist with questionable past...

Ada is also a great fit for Megan-- she has some affection for Leon-Adam, but was also more than willing to exploit him, morally gray, ex GF. working for the bad guys, or is she? Alternatively, Ada as Eliza makes sense- she works for the bad guys, but she wants to help Leon despite it. doesn't give Ada enough intrigue or agency to really stretch her legs as a character though.

krauser: namir. meant as a dark foil to the lead. "Men like us, we never get back the things we love." - there's an acknowledgement of kinship, that, while very different from Krauser's, is a parallel between the two. I think it fits.

mendez - Barrett. brute force miniboss. character doesn't really fit iirc, but ,,, so it goes.

which makes Salazar fedorova: honestly, I didn't think it'd fit at first, given her propensity for illusion and stealth, but she does also jump around like a bug. they fit in terms of gameplay mechanic and hardly at all as characters. she never talks, he won't shut the fuck up

saddler is probably Zhao (the fucking byzantine nature of deus ex lore means there's probably at least three other roles he could fill in this game). the whole biochip control thing is a good parallel for the plaga. he's more of a true believer and victim to the forces he's trying to control, but if we're dumbing down the DXHR plot and it's intricacies to make it fit the RE4R mashup better, maybe there's less machiavellian scheming

the plot would probably be somewhere in between the sweeping conspiracy that DX lends itself to and RE4's more classic knight saves princess tale, were I to write it out. Not that Resident Evil as a lore base doesn't lend itself to labyrinthine conspiracy (Umbrella - Gov't ties, Tricell/Wilson from ID, whatever was happening in Degeneration, whatever Ada's always up to, and so on) but I as a person and writer don't have the patience to plot and scheme it all out myself. so it'd probably be a simplified version of the DXHR plot with more focus on self indulgent eagleone

shit. am I going to write this though?

sigh

that's eighty one drafts in progress...but yes. i will probably write this to about 20k words and give up.

[goodnightmina]

capcom giving Ashley glasses in the 8m units sold celebration.... Yes.... YES!!!

i often write her as a contacts girl but i know she's a nearsighted queen. I just know it (mainly because it's cute if she has glasses)

[goodnightmina]

thinking about resurrecting one of my old orphaned fics

and making it gayer. Claire Redfield the woman that you are..................................................................................................

[goodnightmina]

feels so canon that vendetta!Leon wants to be mommy dommed because then he doesn't have to deal with how hard life is

i want someone to be mean to him

and I might write it