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[gonabs]

She’s crying outside my bedroom door right now because I just got home from work and I have to sleep.

She doesn’t know I have five more days of work after this.

She doesn’t know we’re moving right after; that she’s going to climb into her knockoff sherpa pack and never see this apartment again.

I wonder if this will feel better or worse than when I took her from the cat sanctuary. She lived her first seven months of life in a soundproofed room with dozens of other cats and synthetic bird noises; 7 months in this apartment. Just taking her to be babysat at my boyfriend’s place seemed to deeply unsettle her. She gets so scared when things change.

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Went to the store to buy crackers and a 2lb bag of rice since I can’t seem to digest anything else at the moment. Added some tampons and garbage bags since I was out of those as well. The total was a very reasonable $50.

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I feel fake and silly asking an author to sign a book for me. "Hello, can you write me a little personal note, falsely implying that we have some kind of familiarity with each other to anyone who opens this? Yeah, let tell you my name for the first and last time ever."

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Dang I wish Mejico was real

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skimmed through annihilation again and was reminded of when the biologist stumbled around pissed off and drunk through the tide pools when she was feeling lonely during her research project. shes so funny

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ibuprofen is not enough

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[gonabs]

I feel sad thinking about what the internet used to be and what it is now. We lost something valuable that I can’t begin to properly convey to older or younger generations. It used to be a place for curious minds to explore, to share information and to socialize. You learned how to seek information on your own, and it was information that you genuinely wanted; things that were inspired by your immediate life— not content that the device coerced or forced you into viewing. You were allowed the basic human right of being able to slow down and to focus and to exist in yourself.

Then companies figured out how to generate human attention and personal information into money. Social standards were intentionally shifted so that it became a requirement to be online in order to function in every facet of life, all the way down to using the appliances in your own home.

It’s so common to generalize and say the internet is brainwashing people but it’s not the fault of the internet. It’s capitalism. The digital environment was corrupted.

It used to be a fantastic tool with no strings attached. Our autonomy on it was taken away by insidious forces that profit from making you anxious and ignorant. They are the ones to blame.

We needed laws to prevent this from happening, but the boomers in power had no understanding of it.

This force-feeding format that the internet exists as isn’t normal. It didn’t used to be this way.

[gonabs]

this yaoi is getting too real😭

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Doing a full pivot in 2025 into dedicating this blog to Between the Lions fanart

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"i just feel like boys are easier" -- parent who is going to emotionally neglect their amab kids

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Had this conversation with my conservative coworker who works the exact same job that I do. He owns 3 houses that he bought in his twenties (late 1980s) told me “your generation is fucked” laughed after saying this, and then added “Sorry, it’s because of assholes like me who buy stocks in companies that are driving up the rent that you guys are so fucked.”

But, you know, he’s not sorry.

[gonabs]

Insane that Leonard Cohen released this less than a month before he died.

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Paw Play!

Love me some B E A N S

[gonabs]

you sad little pervert

im happy big & sexually normal

[gonabs]

i'm sorry you have to be dumb as hell to think porn invented misogyny. misogynistic tropes in porn are just reflective of a misogynistic society. a man doesn't watch porn and turn into a misogynist. you could go your whole life not watching porn and still develop an opinion like "women are sex objects" or feel that you're entitled to sex without consent just from what you see and hear from others. this seems like a simple concept to grasp if you describe yourself as a leftist?

[gonabs]

That HBO docuseries on chimp ownership is reviving my childhood fear of chimps. Ive been watching it all day and it has been making me anxious all day.

My impulse control is terrible with this sort of thing, and because of it YouTube is on a kick with suggesting gory police cam videos to me.

What is behind the urge to consume content that upsets me?