goldenonlinetherapyuw

[goldenonlinetherapyuw]

Reunions

Welcome back! Once again my friend darkness comes to stay. I must admit I've had too many visits from you Friend. I'm starting to lose my mind. I feel like everyday I lose myself more and more. Darkness sticks with me, day and night. I feel I am more you than I am me. It's almost like the only thing for sure in my life is You Friend. Every day I feel more like you, like we are one. You have become a description of who I am.

[goldenonlinetherapyuw]

The Aftermath of Harsh Words

This journal is coming out More often than not. And as much as I love The freedom of my writing here These words should not be in my head As often as they are. I've learned the importance of words Through constant heartbreaks and tears. They have reached my heart. The depths of it. To a point of no fixing. I know I can be stronger than this But the tiredness of constant trying Has finally taken over me. All of me.

[goldenonlinetherapyuw]

Nothing Gold Can Stay

I love you. And it scares me to love you this much. Because even in the most beautiful cities, it storms. And I'm afraid you will flood me. But you just feel so right. It's impossible not to fall for you. With your perfection and smoothness. You are like a piece of art, In the middle of a blank room. And I'm so afraid of running it all. Because everything I've loved like this Has died. And maybe if I wasn't so broken It would work out. But for now I just hope you find my flaws as lovely as my laughs. And I just hope you wish to stay As much as I wish for us to shine forever.

[goldenonlinetherapyuw]

Love is the antidote to fear.

[goldenonlinetherapyuw]

The Only Words You Left Behind

She loves you

That's all that matters

Let your muscles relax

Let your breathing calm

Let her love in

It won't do you wrong

It can't do you harm

Feel her touch

Catch her whisper

Rebound her laugh

Let her happiness,

Her unconditional love

Envelope your mind

And ship away all those

Stupid overthought thoughts

Feel it

I can feel it in my core

I don't want it to fade

It won't burn away

I want this love to

make us both sore

But that good kind of sore

The one that allows us to soar

Higher than the gloomy clouds

This love,

It pours out of every pore

It makes the rich man poor

It can end the world's wars

Without even breaking a sweat

Her love is never a chore

She loves you and you know

You could never ever ask for more

[goldenonlinetherapyuw]

Change

Moving has been the hardest thing I've done. Not because of the distance, But the loneliness and the struggles. I worked so hard towards change And it all came crumbling down When I stepped foot in my new home. I tried to see this as a positive challenge. But it's really hard to see the light in a black hole. I feel an impenetrable weight on my chest 24/7. I don't know how much longer I will be able to carry it. I don't know how much longer you will stay. I am losing sight of the reasons why this was a good idea. I want to give up.

[goldenonlinetherapyuw]

Ocean Vuong, from Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong

[goldenonlinetherapyuw]

via weheartit

[goldenonlinetherapyuw]

“My body takes on sadness the way lily pollen stains everything. / Accidentally, gently, permanently.”

— — Cynthia Miller, from Honorifics

[goldenonlinetherapyuw]

“I think of you so often, you have no idea.”

—

[goldenonlinetherapyuw]

New Galaxies

A love poem could not bring justice, It cannot describe The fire that he starts inside of me. Sometimes all it takes is one day. One breath or one look To make everything light up again. His hands paint my skin with love. His touch electrifies every inch of my body. His eyes show the galaxies I once thought were forever gone. Sometimes when I look at him I cannot believe he is human. He is like a love song, A melody that never fails To take the sadness away. He is an angel My angel- That came to save me from my own darkness.

[goldenonlinetherapyuw]

The Nights We Don't Talk About

Do you ever spend your nights In the darkness of your head. Dwelling on the many things That once kept you up at night, Filling your pillows with tears And make-up stains. Hoping that you can believe in love again. Wishing to not only forget them But who you have become.

[goldenonlinetherapyuw]

Hope is Paralyzing

I hope she loves you right. I hope she's everything I could never be. I hope she makes the world go around And her eyes show galaxies. I hope she does for you All I was never able to. I hope she gets you, The way I always tried. I hope she looks at you the way I did, Like you are the last drop of water in the desert. I hope she kisses you softly. I hope she reads you to sleep. I hope she finds the peace it brings to look at you sleep. I hope she admires your resting face And the way you twitch. I am so fucking jealous Because - She's everything I wished you could oversee in me.

[goldenonlinetherapyuw]

Boomerang

And once again You come to haunt me at nigh And leave me with nothing But an empty heart And a bothered mind. I stay here waiting For you to leave my dreams To finally be at ease And just when everything seems at peace You come back To haunt me in my dreams.

[goldenonlinetherapyuw]

Lights Out

It is the night time That kills us all. When it's dark and quiet And you're all alone with your thoughts. It is when the wine kicks in And I no longer think of anything But you- When I replay all of our memories And miss you the most. I miss you everyday. But there is something about darkness That makes me vulnerable And reminds me of how strong I was when I laid with you.

[goldenonlinetherapyuw]

Why Did You Have to Leave?

The voices in my head Are playing games again. Taunting me about you. What happened to all the promises you ever made. To all the I love you's and never forgets. There's nothing left of the kind loving girl. She left- With you. Why do you deny yourself heaven. Why are you so afraid of love.

[goldenonlinetherapyuw]

Changes

It hasn't been that long I am still trying to grow. I used to say I couldn't live without you But I am better than before. I found myself in better arms. I don't look at him the way I looked at you. He is the angel I thought you were. Don't take me wrong I still think of you. But when I look at him I'm glad you left. He is everything I wished you were. I'm looking forward to the day I no longer think of you. I know it's coming Sometime soon. You'll be nothing But a blurry night.