girlofgray

[girlofgray]

Lets be together

but what if we didn't and we just left it at that

would life just end

would it be new

would everything just fizzle out and fade to black

who do we think we are

being happy

finding each other

when fate put us across an ocean

and told us to figure it out

and somehow it knew

that we would be broken and battered and jaded

and ready

for us

April 23, 2024 9:31pm CST

[girlofgray]

Hi hi, been a while.

Yesterday threw me for a loop so I decided that I’m writing it out and letting it go. I was supposed to be doing this daily anyway and I never did that so fuck it, here it is. We’re starting today because I’m super annoyed that all I do is get worried about dudes and I’m a grown ass bitch and have no business with that shit at this point in my ditzy little life.

I woke up already pissed and I’ve been on a a kind of aggression kick from D&D because omg why is it always DURING my sessions that suddenly I’m the most important person and need to be bothered. But whatever the day yesterday was pretty normal, nothing of note.

Eight period just really ticked me off because like I KNOW it’s almost the end of school, I KNOW that this is the last class keeping you from freedom, but for the love of all that is sacred can you get your nose out of your phone and quit thinking that I can’t tell what you’re doing when you have your giant backpack on the tiny desk to try to block my view or look at your glowing crotch all class as if its a normal occurrence for humans to just stare at their own genitals for an hour. I asked a kid to put their phone up and they didn’t want to. Which, ugh here we go, so I insisted because I have a designated spot, its part of the very few set rules in my class and still nothing, so OBVIOUSLY I got up to just go get the phone that was still super visible and not being ignored. NOW its a confrontation for her, so again “no” and “you can’t tell me what to do” “I don’t wanna get up” “you can’t have my things” so WITHOUT touching this child I just simply dragged the desk closer to the phone pouches and said “there you don’t have to walk now” and they and their teenage audacity had the nerve to STILL ask someone else across the room to do it for them. She eventually did put it back but THEN the little shit said “oh now take me back” like nope, not a taxi. And then fine done, see so simple, but no as they’re completing a task I have a look around the room and god forbid she was in my eye line that she immediately went into the “WHAT?!” Like chill tf out child. I already got what I wanted.

Anyway, it was annoying and uncalled for after all that shit just because she didn’t wanna get up and do the bare minimum for class, so yeah I wrote here up and then called her for the chat outside the class. She made the biggest sigh when she heard me call her like, legit tf you think was gonna happen? And I was at this point getting SO FUCKING PISSED because I can’t tell the kid straight up wtf. So I’m there starting to shake because I have a propensity for violence but I don’t engage because yeah I like my job and having money. So yeah it was sooooo fucking annoying.

Then I get home and immediately my mom lets me know that my grandma almost coded Sunday night (the night before for me when she told me ) and that she’s in the hospital, I was supposed to take my mom to the hospital but it was bad time because I had the biggest migraine ever and Jacob was going through it as well because his mom was dealing with possible appendicitis and the AMBULANCE was saying it was gonna arrive in FOUR HOURS, imagine. The ER actually ended up sending them a taxi and the ER itself said oh it’ll be SEVEN FUCKING HOURS before you get seen. Jacob said “yeah you better not get sick in the UK” and legit fuck that. Here it’ll cost you a mortgage, but at least you’ll get seen.

[girlofgray]