girlgenius12

[girlgenius12]

since i was a child i was always scared to kill a bug or step on one because my first thought was “omg what if they were on their way to a family reunion” or if a bug was on me and i moved too far away i was scared they were never going to be able to find their way back to their family. genuinely have thought this was about every bug i’ve encountered ever. try being an empath for a day.

[girlgenius12]

talked about weird shot-on-video movies in my horror movies class today and the weird nostalgia factor… wanted to be like “hey have you guys seen i saw the tv glow because this is so pink opaque”

[girlgenius12]

the tail end of october-beginning of november is my peak depression period. it’s so bad

[girlgenius12]

i obsessively update my medical id on the health app on my phone.

[girlgenius12]

well yes

I don't mind being a girl but sometimes I look at other girls and I think about how we are not the same gender

[girlgenius12]

how it feels to check my grades after midterms

[girlgenius12]

if you find what you’re looking for

be sure to send a new address

[girlgenius12]

yes nick nelson googling “am i gay” is objectively hilarious but that scene is also a little too real. i’ve been there so many times before just desperate for someone to tell me the answer so i wouldn’t have to keep figuring it out myself. i will always defend heartstopper idc.

i’ve spent so much of my life questioning my sexuality and i still feel like i’ve gotten nowhere in terms of ‘answers’

[girlgenius12]

i knew i was “getting better” when after seeing my super busy school/ work schedule the first thing i thought was “i have no time for therapy!”

i haven’t gone to therapy in a bit but it was nice to have a moment where i actually wanted to go. it’s nice to find someone who actually helps and understands.

anyways maybe i should schedule therapy soon

[girlgenius12]

like yeah duh

feeling existential and crazy

[girlgenius12]

wait i just realized me having horrible time management skills is a symptom of my adhd

[girlgenius12]

mentally i’m a whore, physically i’m repulsed by the touch of another

[girlgenius12]

do i… start an adhd medication before school so i can be used to it when school starts and can actually do well

or do i wait until i start slipping and adjust to the meds while actively falling behind

[girlgenius12]

i wish i looked as good in anything as zoë kravitz looks in everything

[girlgenius12]

i was always in the gifted programs growing up and i read a lot and knew a lot for my age and was always told i was smart and my grades and my performance reflected that. i liked being smart

i still test well but i’m not really smart anymore and that’s hard for me. i’m so attached to being a “smart” person but also i’m self reflective enough to realize that i’m not really that smart anymore.

yeah basically i’m ranting about my ego death and i want to be smart again but also i don’t know how.

[girlgenius12]

i’m like if girl was mad