giovannafox

[giovannafox]

vampire! ghost x reader

cw: blood & violence & sexual undertones

The first OP with you goes smooth. Smooth enough for Simon to question why Price didn’t bring someone like you on board to begin with. You fit right in; a medic with speed that's almost as deadly as your tongue, with the way you return Soap’s banter like you were made to do so.

I'll take her, L.t., if ye won't bite, Johnny had teased with a wink. Ghost can’t quite determine why it irritates him, but it does.

The second mission goes even smoother.

He keeps his distance. Keeps communication to a minimum outside of professionality even when he feels your eyes linger like you want to say something, but never do.

It's your third OP with the team that something finally goes awry.

A third consecutive firefight breaks out as everyone is trying to make it back to the safehouse—mission botched and aborted. Price got separated, relaying the situation to Laswell through the comms. Exhausted men lead to sloppy work and therefore, Gaz takes a fall. A bad one. Price gets a rock through the palm by the time he finally makes it to the safehouse and Soap, soaked from the rain with a twisted ankle.

By the time Ghost leaves the room he and Price had been debriefing in for the last hour, the sun has set and the smell of blood fills the air. Soap’s is Earthy. The same bloodtype as Simon before he turned, and tastes like licking a rock. Price’s is deep, rich. A rarity splattered against the rotted wood of the barn they’ve taken shelter in. Gaz’s is metallic like stream water. Distinctively B-negative.

And then there’s yours. Saccharine. Sweet. Thick on the air. Wafting in waves tangling with the smell of distress that’s every bit as tempting as it is concerning, and he suddenly understands why that bloodthirsty bastard marked up your wrists and neck like he had. Territorial prick.

You’re bleeding, perched on a bench in the corner with a lantern where you treated Soap just a moment ago. Fist clenched, shaking; coated in thick, congealed blood that drips to the floor. A deep bullet graze gone hidden and unnoticed, now about to get stitched up by your other unsteady hand.

Simon swallows back any impulsive thoughts. Bites his fangs into his tongue to reel himself back in.

“Red,” he says, voice just a little rough, and it makes you jump. Eyes wide when you whip around, face a few shades paler than the norm—like he was the last person you expected to hear your bitten curses and pained grunts. It's the first time he's seen you anything but put-together.

That something he thought was long dead and gone warms over in his chest. Worry, he thinks. Care.

He gestures to your wound, “shouldn’t be doin’ that yourself.”

You sigh tiredly. Wipe sweat and tears from your eyes. Voice clipped when it comes out, strained. ”Didn't-....didn't mean to bother you."

Wordlessly, he steps forwards. Careful, like he’s wary he might scare you away again. The sweet smell gets stronger as he approaches. Sits in front of you, takes your arm gently in his hands.

“You don’t have—”

“It’s still our job to look after each other, yeah?” he murmurs, looking up to meet your gaze. “Don't need your blood. Still need my medic."

You soften, then. Relax in his hold. Let out a shaky breath as you study him, gaze deep into his dark eyes. There’s something new, there—something he can’t quite read. Something sadder, softer, as you nod in agreement.

“May I?” He asks, lifting your arm up a little. One of the rare blessings of his ability; that he can choose whether or not it heals or hurts. Teeth or tongue. Life and death.

You hesitate for a moment before nodding, permission.

Simon lifts his mask just a little. Brings your arm up, opens his mouth, and runs his tongue along the length of your cut. Your breath hitches at the pain of healing as the wound scabs under his tongue, feeling teeth scraping lightly against your skin.

Simon’s brow furrows, something hollow and twisted in his gut stirring to life at the taste. Lip twitching with restraint until his tongue leaves your skin and he quickly pulls his mask back down.

“There,” he says, pretending not to be effected. Pretending that your blood isn’t the best thing he ever tasted as he tugs your ripped sleeve over the newfound scar on your soft skin. “Good as new.”

Simon thinks it might be the last time anything ever goes smoothly, in your presence.

masterlist

[giovannafox]

haha that's not very "ily i'll always be here" of you :/

[giovannafox]

Depression is a highly stigmatized mental illness. According to WHO, around 280 million people suffer from depression or depressive disorder. It's completely treatable with therapy and medicines (in severe cases) and lifestyle changes (such as giving up alcohol and drugs). Break the stigma 🌷🌷

[giovannafox]

"I keep moving ahead, as always, knowing deep down inside that I am a good person and that I am worthy of a good life."

--Jonathan Harnisch

[giovannafox]

"When we are sad about our fate, we begin to seek even the smallest positive details, in order to keep our spirits up. Otherwise, one can go insane, worrying about it all day long, when one can’t change a thing."

--Tamuna Tsertsvadze, The Prison of Deviants

[giovannafox]

guys guys guys please follow this account. This is for a project and I need the followers. 😭😭

[giovannafox]

newsflash fleabag is a loki variant she is more loki than loki is 😌😌

[giovannafox]

There are few color palettes my eyes love more than the original Gilbert Baker pride flag

Like dang, nailed it the first time, A+++ 0 notes

[giovannafox]

happy pride!!

[giovannafox]

HAPPY PRIDE!!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[giovannafox]

Kaz and Wylan’s potential to become each other

Wow, you guys were a lot more excited about this than I was expecting! I made a post briefly mentioning this idea and it got way more attention that I was expecting, so as promised here is my explanation and I’ve tagged people who asked for it at the end :)

*WARNING: CONSTANT SPOILERS AHEAD*

Ok so the driving forcing of this comparison is rooted in the similarities of their characters and their backstories. Both of them lost a close family member, were abused by men with power over them, and experienced a form of ‘rebirth’ by nearly drowning in the Ketterdam canals. They also both experience disability; Kaz using a cane for a broken leg that didn’t heal correctly, and Wylan having severe dyslexia that prevented him from learning to read. A key difference that separates them, and arguably is a representation of the difference in the way their experiences have shaped their personalities as well, is that Kaz’s disability is a direct result of his chasing after vengeance, whereas Wylan’s disability was used as an excuse for his father to abuse him for what we as the reader see to be a minimum of eight years. (I’m assuming this because he is 16 in the book and was 8 when his mother ‘died’, which is the point that he describes he father to have “given up on him”)

I’m gonna quickly hop to parallels between Kaz and Pekka Rollins, bare with me I promise it’s relevant, which are quickly established as a key part of the novels. When Inej compares them, Kaz’s reply is “I don’t sell girls, I don’t con helpless kids out of their money” to which she gently responds “look at the floor of the Crow Club, Kaz”. Aside from this being the heartbreaking line that it is, it also does a very good job of highlighting their similarities and a similarity that they share with Jan Van Eck. When they meet the merch at the end of the first book they meet on an island called Vellgeluk, which is described as being popular with smugglers and slavers like those who kidnapped Inej. The other Crows are surprised Van Eck knows about Vellgeluk, but Kaz simply says “maybe he isn’t the upstanding merch he appears to be”. Great subtle foreshadowing for his double cross, and great establishment of the link between these three characters. In fact, Van Eck and Kaz echo each other more than you might think. Just as Kaz states “Greed bows to me, it is my servant and my lever”, Van Eck says “Yes, Chaos will come. And I will be it’s master”. In their first meeting, Van Eck accuses Kaz of murder and gambling with people’s lives, and in return Kaz points out that 1 in 5 of Van Eck’s ships will never return because they will sink or “fall prey to pirates”, so they are both doing the same thing, and that they both have the same motivations for this bloodshed: “profit”.

Now consider how often Wylan echoes Kaz, and therefore whether he echoes his father as well. They both have exceptional memories, Kaz’s being photographic/eidetic and Wylan being able to put words to music in his head to remember pages worth of infomation - this is even emphasised by Kaz being able to count cards when he gambles, saying “he could keep track of the game for up to three decks” and Jesper asking Wylan if he’d be able to apply “that trick to counting cards” to which he replies “probably. But I won’t”. They also both have impressive intellects, which could have placed them far higher up in the world than they’ve found themselves if it weren’t for cruel circumstances - Van Eck even comments on this, saying it angers him that Kaz has so much potential but does nothing with it. Then there’s their tendency to avoid being vulnerable. I think we too often overlook the fact that no-one knows Jan Van Eck hired two men to kill his son, not even Jesper, and that not even Inej knows what happened to Kaz on the Reaper’s Barge. Jesper believes that Wylan left his house as a result of his father’s abuse but that it was still his choice, and Inej has no information beyond “Pekka Rollins killed my brother” and the explanation of the con when Kaz faces off with Rollins in Crooked Kingdom. I genuinely believe that the biggest thing separating them is where they place blame for their situations. Kaz blames Pekka Rollins. Wylan actually blames himself.

Arguably, although he catalysed the events, if Rollins hadn’t conned Kaz and Jordie they still would have suffered in an almost identical way: they would both contract the Queen’s Lady Plague, they wouldn’t have enough money for both medicine and boarding, and Jordie would die. In that scenario Kaz would have still been left penniless and alone with nowhere to go, but he wouldn’t have had anyone to blame. In fact, he may have died as well because it’s really his drive for vengeance that makes him strive for survival. When he’s on the Reaper’s Barge he wonders if it’s worth trying to survive because there’s nothing waiting for him in the city, but then he realises that the chance of revenge is waiting for him, and that thought drives him to stay alive every day that follows. Without Rollins, Kaz probably would have blamed himself for Jordie’s death, and I’m backing that up with the singular moment when he’s first attacked by parem-high tide makers and has a brief “boy’s fear” that they are ghosts. He thinks, for a split second, that a ghost has come to kill him and what does he say? He says “Jordie had come for vengeance at last”. This is chapter three. We have no idea who Jordie is. With the limited information we had at the time and what we’d just seen happen to Big Bolliger, I assumed it was someone in Kaz’s gang that he had backstabbed and who has died because of what he did. But no. This single line leads me to wholeheartedly believe that Kaz blames Rollins, who realistically was only a small part of his suffering, quite so vividly to emotionally avoid blaming himself.

Wylan blames himself until around chapters 14 to 16 of Crooked Kingdom. His experiences with mental, emotional, and physical abuse have actively convinced him that his so-called ‘inadequacies’ caused a change in his father’s behaviour. But Wylan not being able to read didn’t magically turn Van Eck from a lucky family man into someone willing to try “specialists, tonics, beatings, [and] hypnotism” against his child. The fact is that Van Eck, like many abusers, is masterfully manipulative in everything he does. Wylan describes seeing his parents’ marriage as a happy one, but he also says “the argued all the time, sometimes about me. But I remember them laughing a lot too”. He’s quick to defend their relationship as if it isn’t supposed to be marred by argument and he lays blame on himself by suggesting that he was the root of their unhappiness. He also says that around Alys, Jan Van Eck becomes who he once was around Marya; a kinder, gentler man. I don’t think we’re meant to assume that he’s acting any differently with Alys in private right now, but I do think we’re meant to assume that he would have done down the line if he hadn’t been arrested (and presumably she filed for divorce). In chapter 14 of Crooked Kingdom, Wylan learns that his mother is still alive but that his father had her committed and declared insane so he could use it as grounds for divorce and marry Alys instead. And you know what happens? Wylan blames himself. He says, verbatim, to Jesper: “You don’t understand. It’s my fault”. He explains that Van Eck did this so he could have a “real heir”; because Marya produced a “faulty” child he needed a new woman to give him the child he wanted. That’s a messed up thing to think on so many levels, but Wylan doesn’t blame Van Eck because he is still being conditioned by his abuse. He and Kaz experienced different kinds of abuse, and Kaz wasn’t conditioned to blame anyone but his abuser, so that’s what he does. When Wylan does begin to blame Van Eck, he is immediately taken in by this same idea of revenge. Kaz says “you were angry. I needed you righteous” when explaining why he sent Wylan to St Hilde blind in chapter 16. Wylan was angry with his father before, but he wasn’t actively seeking vengeance. Now that he has a cause, someone other than himself to fight for? He tells Kaz “well, now you have me”.

Both of them have this potential to be fuelled by revenge or self-hatred, and although they go about it in different ways and lean towards different sides of the scale they are both balancing between those two extremes for the entire duology. Their past experiences have, and their future experiences could, tip them further either way but right now they are almost playing with the line.

Thank you so much if you’ve bothered to read this far, sorry for the long post but you did ask for an essay, so there you go. Tagging the people who asked - @kazooyay @mikasimaginairyworld @sunseeking-cyptid @moonlit-aura @alexplutoplanet @gandalfsmallnaturals @livsarthaven @goodomenstrack23 @origami-butterfly @flower-biatch @bookworm010307 @thesunniest @wherela @space-ace-thoughts @sixofbabycrows @antisocial-burrito

Sorry if I missed anyone!!!

[giovannafox]

[giovannafox]

I hope everyone heals soon 🌱

Here are your pretty flowers

🌹🌸🌻🌷🌼💐🪷🌺

For trying each day.

[giovannafox]

the darkling is the andrew tate of the grishaverse

[giovannafox]

[giovannafox]

[giovannafox]

the darkling is the andrew tate of the grishaverse