gigglesall-blog

[gigglesall-blog]

On days when it is *extra hard* being a career women, I think of how hard it was for the women before us & it gives me the strength & inspiration to keep going. Keep doing what you're doing & we will all be an inspiration to someone one day :)

[gigglesall-blog]

Yesterday, I posted a video on this thread discussing the misogynistic abuse I have received day in and day out for the past 18 months of development. The reception was lovely overall. There were a few criticisms, like accusing me of posting an ad, but that is to be expected in an open forum. My number one goal is to HEAR female voices - to hear your experiences - because it helps me not feel crazy. Which is the number one feeling waiting to take over when you're hearing misogynistic gaslighting for the majority of a workday. "Am I going insane? Is this normal?" But I thought I would expand a little bit. In part because, before becoming a tech startup CEO, I was a screenwriter in Hollywood. So the written word is actually where I feel most comfortable. Also, you can say a lot more than you can in a 3 minute video, especially when being on camera is a medium I don't enjoy. The reason I am no longer a screenwriter is for every reason the Me Too movement exists. I was there in a pre-MeToo world & had actually left by the time the Weinstein scandal broke because I couldn't cope with it a second longer. I remember, one morning, staring at the ceiling in my bedroom & realizing that I could not get myself out of the deep hole of depression I was in if I stayed in my career and city I had come to know as home. So I moved from LA to New York. As a screenwriter, I had two male agents & two male managers. I am Australian so my work visa was connected to the agency/management companies and I was trapped with them. I couldn't earn money any way other than through selling screenplays via my agents & managers. So, more than the average writer, they controlled my life. But I wrote movies for women. I wrote romcoms. Usually movies about a flawed yet strong women who goes on a journey to realize her strength and own it. That was basically my brand. Once - ONCE - I wrote a script about sex. I was told that sex was my brand and no matter how many times I said, "Nope. Strong yet flawed women are my brand", I was sold as the sex writer. I needed to pay rent, so if "sex writer" was going to do it... In meetings with executives and producers, I was groped or verbally harassed. Repeatedly. At the beginning, I would tell the people (men) I needed to tell about what had happened. I was told "It's just how it is" and "just 'wow' them with a great script!" But after having a hand put down my pants (a literal "grab them by the P***y moment), I didn't want to be in a room with Him again. So I didn't write the script. This happened a few more times and my professional reputation started to fall. I was the girl who didn't deliver. The reality was that I could no longer write. I would sit at my computer all day, every day, trying to write. But I couldn't form coherent sentences in my head. Because my sole livelihood rested on my ability to write, I became more and more anxious. The anxiety did not help. I have since learned, after a lot of therapy, that I was trapped in a flight-or-fight survival mode and my subconscious was stopping me from writing because writing meant I would be in rooms with Men who would abuse me verbally or physically. New York helped for a moment, but the issues were just too deep. I needed a professional. The depression too strong. I was petrified of my own voice. My self esteem was so low. Eventually, I returned to Australia because I needed a hug from my Mum. While talking with my mum about what had happened - and relying what I was learning in therapy - we started to talk about how broken the system is. My therapist repeatedly told me I had to relearn how to "connect with people". It was the knew mantra replaying in my mind. It resonated with me because I had actually never lost the desire to connect with people, but I had become so afraid of leaving a safe environment - like my bed - that I wasn't connecting with anyone. The loneliness was palpable. When the Weinstein scandal broke, a lot of the girl-friends in LA and I re-connected and swapped stories. We realized we had all been going through the same thing, but we were too scared to talk about it. Being ignored by the people who *could* do something had squashed any desire to tell anyone else. In hindsight, we all wished we had told one another. This resonated with my mum. My mum decided we needed to find a way to give that gift of sisterhood to every girl who needed it. We decided - while drinking whiskey - that we would create an app. We knew nothing about apps. We had no idea what it would take to "create an app". But we weren't scared. We were just motivated by an idea. For the first time in years, my voice returned. I had a purpose again. For 18 months, we developed giggle. "Giggle" is actually the collective noun for a group of girls. When I discovered this, while searching for a name, I did a bit of an eye-roll. "UGH. Of course that's what they call us." Until I realized that it was an amazing opportunity to claim a word that has been hijacked to be belittling. The reality is that groups of girls do amazing things. The girls of 2020 are where we are being of the "giggles" before us. I decided to take the idea of "stupid, giggling girls" and prove it to be a completely incorrect stereotype. Because I know it is. We all know it is. Women can vote because of giggles. Mum and I spent months designing the app, with the help of my Dad who taught himself how to use Xd via YouTube videos. I would draw absolutely horrendous pictures of what I wanted the screens to look like (I am no artist) and he would turn them into something that other people could potentially take seriously. I learned how to create business plans, marketing plans, finance plans. We spent hundreds of hours researching, taking to people, discussing every possible avenue. Finally, we took the demo app of giggle to investors and.... for the first time in my adult life, something happened very easily: we got development funding & suddenly I had a company. It was 6 months from concept to funding. Then the real hard work began. Award-winning app developers, award winning designers, marketers & business partners came on board. It was my job to articulate my vision. But, suddenly, there were more men than women in the room. It was Mum and Me against a lot of men. They started telling us what girls were like. What girls wanted. We would have long meetings about the misogyny girls face on a day to day basis, but mum and I would not be allowed to speak. We would just look at each other, stunned at the irony. The yelling at us began quite quickly. We would be polite and tolerant. For months, any time we had an objection to the direction of our vision, we were told we were "closed minded". But we would be told "no" immediately if they didn't like what we said (keeping in mind, we're the majority share holders & directors. We are *supposed* to have the final word). I had already had one career destroyed by men abusing their power. There was no way I was going to let it happen again. So I started to fight back, loudly. I have done so every day for the past year. I have won every single battle to ensure that my vision is realized (while obviously collaborating and being a team player at the same time). I have put my foot down when it has desperately been needed. The fact that we have had to have these battles has been mind blowing - we don't want them, but the alternative is to not speak. It is not like we have told experts how to do their job. We want them around *because* they are experts. But it was very much expected that we would sit in the corner and shut up while the boys were in control. HA! I have been shushed in meetings by men. I have been told I shouldn't be CEO "in case" I can't answer a question with no proof or cause for concern. I have been told I need to be "managed". They don't sound like major things when you write them down like this, but fighting against them every day for a year does wear your down. Because it just shouldn't happen. Starting a new business is difficult. But before we get to the normal difficulties, we have to fight through the misogyny. By the time we are doing budgets, we are exhausted. Everyone who works for "Giggle" knew they were working on a girl-run company *for* girls. I have come to realize that they just didn't understand what that *means*. I have frequently said, "If you want to profit off empowering women, you better get used to having empowered women around." I have been told that this is an "ugly look". I'm tired of it. I'm tired of this being acceptable behavior. All I want to do is use my position of privilege (white, middle-class family) to do something to change the status-quo. Because this arrogant misogyny is not sustainable in society any longer. I want girls to be able to find a room to rent without sexual harassment (which happens ALL the time). To do freelance work without an abuse of power (which happens ALL the time). To connect with each other in a private way to express opinions, share experiences and get advice, without the fear of a rape threat or worse. Before anyone asks - yes, "giggle" is 10000000% LGBTQ friendly. I have worked with some absolutely amazing trans girls to ensure that they onboarding and platform is welcoming and that they feel comfortable. It has been one of the greatest joys in the whole giggle process - completely absent of hostility, arrogance & misogyny. Inclusive feminism is the only find of feminism I am interested in - all girls, of all cultures. Despite only recently having gone live on the App Store & Google Play - our launch & campaigns have not yet begun - we have a few thousands girls on "giggle" and I am having the most lovely conversations with girls from all around the world. My favorite at the moment is a conversation with a girl in India. Her instinctual responses are so different from mine, I'm constantly learning a new way to view the world, yet our experiences in the professional world are so similar. It's an utterly rewarding conversation. The reason I made the video & posted it everywhere yesterday is because a man has been questioning my ability to do my job, despite refusing to speak to me directly, and, after failing to having private conversations with him that would go anywhere, I felt like the only thing left was to talk to other girls and say "this is what it's like. This is the reality" and hear their stories. Because I have suffered in silence once before. I'm not going to any more and I don't think any of us should. Of course, I also want girls to know about giggle - if "Giggle" helps one girl realize her true self, feel safe & own her power, I will be happy for the rest of my life. Thank you for reading xx (PS - the company is what it is. I'm actually not requesting feedback on it at this moment in time, in this forum. You're all completely welcome to your opinions but I don't need them right now and, to be honest, I've probably already heard them. PPS - the collective noun for a group of boys is called a "plush" and, yes, I think it would be wonderful if men had a place on the Internet where they could connect with each other, be vulnerable and have safe & honest conversations, and help each other. I'm just not the face or the voice of such a company.)

gigglesall

[gigglesall-blog]

[gigglesall-blog]

Imagine someone telling you that you can’t be the CEO of your own company... because you might not be able to answer *a question* 

www.joinagiggle.com to see what I’m fighting for EVERY DAY :) 

[gigglesall-blog]

from one man, to other men, about me. The boss. 

to find out more: www.joinagiggle.com

@thegws642posts @kaceycielecki @blogmethree @metoomovement-irevl@makerswomen @jameelajamil @resist-much @jackisreallycool @support-women-and-girls @liberaljane @empower-females @positivefeministt@notyourunclesam @sheisapoem @feministfront @iwriteaboutfeminism@puredykerage @feminismwecandoit @lo-lynx @feminism135 @nansheonearth@hexthepatriarchy 

[gigglesall-blog]

I am a girl tech CEO/Director/Founder who experiences misogyny on a DAILY basis and I have reached my limit - I want to talk about it. 

To find out more, go to www.joinagiggle.com :) 

@thegws642posts @kaceycielecki @blogmethree @metoomovement-irevl @makerswomen @jameelajamil @resist-much @jackisreallycool @support-women-and-girls @liberaljane @empower-females @positivefeministt @notyourunclesam @sheisapoem @feministfront @iwriteaboutfeminism @puredykerage @feminismwecandoit @lo-lynx @feminism135 @nansheonearth @hexthepatriarchy