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ghouloutboy · 26 days ago

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The Frerard Theories: FTWillz.

Disclaimer: I’m not saying that this is the truth as for only Gerard and Frank know what the truth was. This is just a 20 year old girl who gets bored enough sometimes to analyze lyrics, and let me tell you, as an English Literature student I’m pretty damn good at it. If you don’t like frerard, don’t continue reading. I don’t want to change your mind, I don’t want for you to try and change mine. If you want to discuss something in a civilized way, feel free to contact me but otherwise I’m not interested. Also, note that I won’t ever, ever in my whole life go harassing these two men with frerard stuff because they have expressed they don’t like it and it’s disrespectful to not comply with what they want.

who is FTWillz and why are they hiding? i don’t know if you know about this story; or if you’ve even heard the name ‘FTWillz’ before. if not, i’ll tell you real quick: FTWillz was a poet. is a poet. he used to write on his own MySpace page, where he appeared to be affiliated to Skeleton Crew. Frank’s brand. the little information we have about him is that he is a scorpio, doesn’t like technology and is (or rather, was) a swinger. he stated that he was going to release his own poetry book, but no one has heard about him in years. why is this significant to Frerard, you may ask? because i’m pretty sure FTWillz was none other than Frank. Frank is a scorpio. Frank doesn’t like technology. Frank writes poetry. in fact, Frank has written the exact same poems FTWillz wrote. he posted them on his website. don’t bother trying to look for the MySpace page, it’s gone forever. some other things to prove that Frank is FTWillz is the fact that he used to carry a guitar with the letters FTW on it. i’m sure y’all remember that guitar. he also has a tattoo that reads FTW on his arm.

(fucking sinful, by the way)

weird, huh? isn’t it even weirder that MCR has a song named F.T.W.W.W? what’s the fucking deal with FTWillz and why everything he did (does?) gravitates towards Frank and; consequently, Gerard?

The beginning of FTWillz was, as i’ve said on MySpace. exact date being February, 18th, 2008.

what was going on in 2008? that’s right, Gerard just got married, Frank was about to do it too. not later after that; if i’m not mistaken, Frank had to abandon MCR’s tour because his grandma died, and then he was a part of the Farewell Tour (Reggie and the full effect). he played with LeATHERMOUTH. that’s right. everything was happening when Frank and Gerard weren’t talking; Frank was depressed and his stomachaches were really bad. what a fucking coincidence.

let’s talk about the poems, though. there’s one in particular i love and, shamelessly, know by heart, named “from my head to my middle finger, i really think i like you” it’s one of my favorites. amazing. Frank and his poems have influenced mine a great deal, but not only my poetry. i write like he does; because my goal in life is to make people feel through my writing as much as Frank makes me feel with a single verse. anyways, this poem wasn’t written on 2013, as Frank claims on his site. FTWillz posted the exact same poem on february, 18th, 2008. weird, huh? Frank is not the kind of guy who’d take credit of other person’s work, right? he wouldn’t do that. either he asked FTWillz for permission, in which case he’d have credit them or he is FTWillz therefore he wouldn’t have to ask for permission. The poem can be found here on Frank’s site (x) i’m going to post a photo of FTWillz MySpace anyways, as proof that what i’m saying is the truth:

Frank has changed a couple of things in the poem, in my opinion not to make it any more obvious than needed; instead of the original “what a dark mess of chemicals we have become” he writes “what a dark mess of additives we have become.” what the original line means for me is linked to MCR; My Chemical Romance. they did become a dark mess of chemicals, didn’t they? since the very beginning the aesthetics and concepts for the band were really dark; and TBP had a really dark concept, Gerard being The Patient and all. when he first wrote the poem, he wanted to “fly 2 blunts deep” but now he wants to “float 5 lines deep.” what’s the difference? the difference is that “blunt” means weed and “line” (for me, at least) means poetry (in this context), signifying that he used to deal with his feelings doing drugs, which could’ve been referring to actual drugs like weed or to other kinds of drugs like Gerard and their relationship. also, that “fly” meant that he had hope, that he wanted to work for it, while now he wants to “float.” because he’s fucking static, as he reminds us in .tragician. he also adds the line “one time i felt like i belonged, but that’s neither here nor there” which gives the poem a much hopeless and sad vibe, rather than the angst-y one the first one had. he used to “drive and sleep for miles” while now he’s “riding for miles and sleeping for only minutes” but the person this poem is addressed to is still a riot. Gerard is definitely a riot, he has that weird gift. he’s someone who can and will change your live, and he most definitely changed Frank’s life; even if they would have been only friends. he was the one who wanted Frank in MCR after all. Gerard is a riot because Frank has no control over him or his decisions, nor can he predict Gerard’s behavior. he also changes “i’ve found healing powers beyond my wildest dreams behind your lips” to “healing powers beyond my wildest dreams, come from behind your lips” which is a rearrange of the sentence, really, but he erases the “i’ve found” which means that he no longer has found them, he knows those healing powers are there but he can’t have them. the next lines are the exact same except for when he deletes the “weep, sweetheart” and adds the “we all go fish for compliments.” there’s a couple things i’d like to mention about those lines. first; ‘love note’ which makes me think of the song ‘my lovenote has gone flat’ by LeATHERMOUTH, which is Frerard as fuck too. a couple of lines from that song are: i hate my life now, and all of this is because of you. i wanna die, wanna die, wanna die, all right. i hate myself. is anyone listening? No. i wanna lay low, but you want a funeral. you are the lie, but i am the liar. now, i guess everyone has listened to “stay” by MCR, so you understand why the LeATHERMOUTH song seems to be directly linked to stay: if you stay right here, did I tell you that someone out there loves you after all?…

next thing i’d like to talk about is the line “i bleed spades, you draw horses…” do y’all know what company publishes Gerard’s comics? Dark Horse. Horse. fucking horse. also, who wears the Dead Pegasus logo during Danger Days? Gerard Way. what was Pegasus? a fucking horse. way to be explicit there, Frank. last thing is “we all go fish for compliments” i said it the first time i wrote a Frerard shade. Gerard seems to be so glad that everyone is adoring him at the moment, and Frank must have noticed too. i think Frank was way too pissed with Gerard when he wrote this. next three lines are exactly the same in both, the original and the 2013 one. the first two lines are actually so fucking sad and hopeless; and the third one means that everything would be different. and at that time, everything was different. Gerard was married, after all. the ending of the poem is the same. i don’t know what is it with Frank and the number 7, but he uses it a lot in his lyrics. it’s my lucky number, so i know a great deal about it. 7 is a mystical number, and i explained more about it on the shade i wrote for .stitches. (x) the only thing Frank wants is to have time with this person, with Gerard. even if it’s shitty. even if they can’t do much. he just wants to be with Gerard. now, the thing that strikes me: ulcers. Frank’s stomachaches seem to get real bad whenever he’s away from Gerard, don’t they? first, when he was away with LeATHERMOUTH and now when the band has broken up. what a coincidence, huh? i think, that in the context of their relationship, this is a lot like when Gerard got married. a turning point. Frank refused to talk with Gerard he “planned on being out of step for a while” and it wasn’t until Gerard talked to him (Gerard called Frank to tell him he missed him and after that Frank got the ‘i miss you terribly’ tattoo) that they started talking again. this time the same is happening. Frank refuses to talk to Gerard that we know of, and it won’t be until Gerard decides to talk to Frank that they will hit it off again, believe me.

now, another poem that features on both, FTWillz MySpace and Frank’s site is ‘shit’s bananas when you’re disinterested’ and you can find it on Frank’s site here (x) and here’s the photo that proves that it appeared first on FTWillz’s MySpace:

note that in “current mood” he writes “smitten” which could be super positive, but in the context of the song, i think he was thinking about Gerard and their relationship and realized that he had fallen for Gee pretty hard. smitten doesn’t have a happy connotation here. as the previous poem i’ve talked about, this one is utterly amazing. i’m in love with Frank’s poetry, because it’s written in this kind of stream-of-consciousness that makes everything much more real, and every emotion the poem is showing much rawer. and as the previous poem; Frank changed some stuff, he obviously did. why does he change that stuff, why doesn’t he post the same thing and to hell with it? first; because it would be way too easy to link those poems directly to FTWillz if you searched the exact same lines on google. then, because the first drafts were published 5 years before he posted them on his website, and as an artist/writer/bullshitter i know that if you go back to revisit your old work, you are gonna change stuff. always. because we are never happy with ourselves, as simple as that. anyways, this poem, as the other ones, is full of sadness, despair, angst. too many synonyms, right? yea well, i’m the fucking thesaurus. there are two things that strike me about this poem, first the ‘friends’ bit. Gerard and Frank met through a “mutual friend” that mutual friend being Mikey Way himself. Frank literally said once “i knew Gerard as the comic-book artist, as Mikey’s creepy older brother, and i remember meeting him at a party and thinking “wow, this kid’s fucking rad” and we just got along straight off the bat.” pretty damn clear what he’s talking about in those lines, right? he’s saying that they meet alone, behind the mutual friend’s back, because they have things in common and such, not because they are whores (sense the sarcasm). i’ve said it a ton of times, i think Gerard and Frank at first were just fooling around, it wasn’t until late Bullets era/early Revenge that they had fallen for the other. the other thing i find interesting about this is that “we’ll laugh until our noses bleed, the windows shatter [and our hearts fall out onto the floor]” reminds me so much of that photoshoot they did for Revenge Era where they are dressed as high-schoolers, and have their faces covered in blood and are laughing, and Gerard’s nose seems to be bleeding and they have baseball bats (for shattering windows, maybe?) and basically, it’s the same fucking image Frank is describing:

also, for me, the first important frerard moment happens in the I’m not Okay video, when Frank kisses Gerard on the cheek, and this photoshoot seems to be related to the I’m Not Okay video. the ending of the poem is “you are mine my darling… and the world… yes, the world shall be ours.” not gonna say anything about this, fuck it. i’m done.

anyways, talking about FTWillz, there’s a line in other of his poems where he says “do you wanna get matching tattoos, have the same haircut, go steady and just be friends so we can fuck everyone who looks just like us, thinks like us and feels like us too?” which reminds me of Honey, this mirror isn’t big enough for the two of us when Gee sings “and you can’t keep my brother, and you won’t fuck my friends” or -uh, Gee again in Millions when he sings “you can keep my friends, but that depends on what they’re for.” coincidentally, Honey, this mirror isn’t big enough for the two of us was one of the two songs that featured Frank’s guitar in Bullets (the other being Early Sunsets over Monroeville). coincidentally, Millions is the song where Gerard uses the “and William, it was really me, it was really you!” which is resembling the Smiths’ song named “William, it was really nothing” which talked about a love triangle between two men who were friends, but one is in denial about his liking for other men and marries another woman. cool, huh? (you can find more about Millions here: x).

last, but not least, the song F.T.W.W.W by MCR. here you can find the lyrics: x. read them first, listen to the song, etc. when you’re done, you can continue reading, and if you aren’t going to read the lyrics and listen to the song first then cool, i don’t control your fucking life, you go for being a fucking rebel, i respect you. anyways, the song uses, indeed, the pronoun “she.” do i fucking care? no i fucking don’t, because if there’s one person on this earth that would refer to Frank Iero as she, that’s fucking Gerard Way because he’s a shady motherfucker. now, maybe some of you didn’t hear about this song until now, which is completely fine. they didn’t release it under the name “My Chemical Romance” but as “The Mad Gear and Missile Kid” (wikipedia entry for this here: x). this song, again, is about sinning and hiding. i can write a full on shade about it if y’all want me to. things to highlight about this song:

they wanna grip the cross - aka other way of referring to religious people. android girl - reminds me of Radiohead (if you don’t know why, dishonor on your cow). ya know who loves Radiohead? that’s right, Frank. (proof: x). fuck this whole wide world - basically, who cares about the world, Gerard? just fucking kiss me already. that doesn’t sound like Frank at all. nope. at all. you take my only guise - guise meaning: to appear or go in disguise. Frank is the only one who knows the ‘real’ Gerard, the only one who knows Gerard behind his mask. because Frank is the only one who has that power over Gerard. he’s the only one that really knows what Gerard feels towards him. and the song is called FTWWW. and apparently, Frank’s alter ego is FTWillz. nice. not obvious. at all. cool. good shit.

last but not least; when people started linking Frank to FTWillz, the latter’s MySpace was suddenly (and mysteriously) made private, posts deleted, etc. a tumblr blog suddenly appeared posting the same poems, and even new ones (if i’m not mistaken) but it was proven to be someone who didn’t know Frank nor did they know FTWillz and was just using the latter’s name and poems. FTWillz was dead and gone until 2013, when Frank made his website (claiming that he hated technology [x], just as FTWillz did back in 2008) and started posting the same poems.

this has been one of my favorite shades to write; really. Frank/FTWillz’s poetry has truly inspired me, and i am completely in love with each and every poem. i wrote my favorites down and i have them on my walls, right in front of my eyes whenever i lift my head in the portion of my room i like to call “art studio.” what i mean with this is that y’all should go fucking read Frank’s poems and fall in love with him, with FTWillz, with poetry again. that’s all for tonight. next week i’ll probably post Don’t Try and No Shows. maybe even something from .stomachaches. and/or MCR. for requests, my ask box is open. for complains, fuck right off. xoP.

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