ghostburgers

[ghostburgers]

As an adult you must cultivate the skill of “Gross! Oh, well. Not my business.”

[ghostburgers]

[ghostburgers]

me every day without fail: I'll do [chore] when I get home

me when I get home:

[ghostburgers]

capybara

[ghostburgers]

growing up as an imaginative single child, I loved to play with Barbies. I loved creating elaborate drama-filled storylines for them and I could keep at it for hours. there was one problem. I had like 15 thrift store Barbies and no Kens. I only had one Barbie-sized male doll and it was a collectible Elvis Presley doll and he was my favorite doll. I always did the Elvis voice when I was playing him but he had no relation to Elvis Presley otherwise. anyway, he had some crazy days. trapped on a scary planet where he is the only man in the world and half of the women there hate him. in a massive car accident and stranded in the woods with a girlfriend who had broken her foot and a crazy ex girlfriend who had stalked them there. kidnapped by Athena (one of my Barbie sized dolls was Athena, like, the goddess) and held captive by her while trying to go home to his 7 situationships. all of this happening to a guy who looks and sounds exactly like Elvis but is otherwise the quintessential everyman.

[ghostburgers]

Otra víctima el Chupacabra

[ghostburgers]

[ghostburgers]

hank green's 2025 bingo card is gonna make me pass out

[ghostburgers]

the line “your worst sin is that you’ve betrayed and destroyed yourself for nothing” is so raw you’d think it’s from a destiel fanfic or even hetalia but it’s actually from dostoyevskys crime and punishment

[ghostburgers]

[ghostburgers]

Guy wearing a distressed jean jacket with a Kermit the frog patch walks up to the library’s facade, he turns around with a smile and says “the punkest thing you can do is return your library books on time” with a wink, tosses his copy of The Peanut Allergy Epidemic into the return box, a gnarled hand shoots out of the book slot and grabs his wrist, he screams, the twisted, knobby fingers tighten their grip and begin to pull, pull, pull, the guy’s body is contorted as he is forced into the tiny gap through sheer force, blood shoots out, so much blood, hitting terrified passersby as they leave and enter the front doors, a woman tucks away her checkouts into her cardigan to keep them from getting ruined, blood keeps spraying, finally his last foot goes through, his doc marten popping off and falling onto the concrete, bouncing slightly .

[ghostburgers]

[ghostburgers]

[ghostburgers]

starting a foundation that gives disadvantaged children one wild ass night at the club

[ghostburgers]

girl you've been running through my mind all day

[ghostburgers]