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I’m that person who always worry about money and I can’t blame my self because I grew up without privilege unlike other kids. Although I’m thankful that even when there are times that we struggle how to make ends meet, my parents are able to support my education. And my relatives are kind enough to help us with all the expenses. With that I was able to graduate.

So yeah, I can’t blame my self for wanting to grow more. For wanting to achieve more. Because growing up, I saw how hard life is for my parents and them wanting to hide their tired demeanor .

I want myself to achieve more because I know she deserves it. She may wonder sometimes if all of this is worth it. She may be tired herself but she always persevered. She may be vulnerable sometimes but she was always stronger than she thinks. She has her own struggles that others may not know and scars that are hidden, so that her loved ones wouldn’t be hurt. It was not easy and life itself will never be easy but I think she’s doing great living for her once a dream becoming her reality.

I know that the young dreamer she once was is so proud of the version of her right now. You don’t have to be scared. He always makes way for you. You just have to take a step. Take courage, you will never be lost in Him. You can do it! CPA, yes? You can do it!

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I remember HAHAHA review season last sem, alam mong gahol ka na sa oras kapag maski minuto inaallocate mo na kung ilang mins per question ng test bank mapasadahan or ilang minutes per page. Sheesh. RFBT and Aud Theo things

[gelley-thoughts]

After ng heart to heart talk. Di na ako makatulog AHAHAHAHA. Ang gaan lang sa feeling na makausap sila tita, tito mga pinsan at mama ng ganun. We get to commemorate mommy Hermie’s memories. She will never be gone because her beautiful memories na iniwan samin will forever be with us. You and daddy raised your children well mommy. Look at how they grew up. They love their family so much. You can be rest assured in heaven na yung love na binuo niyo ni Daddy will continue to live on. Thank you Mommy. And thank You, Lord. You truly are amazing. Your love is amazing.

How could I now love less when all along, I was surrounded by people who love me selflessly. Thank you Lord for the assurance and security. Life will never be easy. Life will continue to flow even when things are not easy but life is not forever not easy. You can be sad, angry, tired, but life will always have place for happiness. You can always have bad days but bad days are just part of good days. And you can only focus on one. And I hope despite everything that has happened, you’ll be proud to say that it made you happy. And it was worth every feeling you’ve felt.

[gelley-thoughts]

Let me just write here my worries. I really want to talk about this to my family but I don’t know how. It just never comes off my mind no matter how hard I shrug it off. My goal is to pass the Oct 2025 CPALE. And at the same time I want to work but still undecided if saan at kailan? I can’t really be drastic at applying jobs because my top priority is still the review. I also can’t just apply here in Pangasinan because I will be reviewing in Baguio. And at the same time I don’t want to waste time doing nothing. I feel unproductive and unfulfilled. Like there’s something missing being confined here at home doing nothing. It’s just not me. I know I’ve talked about this with Yuan already. His advice to do what I want resonated with me. I also took into consideration the advice of Charlotte to be a full time reviewee. I know not everyone has the privilege to be supported by their family during these review.

I want to work in an audit firm. Be it at big 4 or not. But the workload is what’s keeping me from applying. I know how hectic the audit season right now. And during those experience I’m not that confident to say that I could do well at balancing work while reviewing. I am also thinking of applying as accounting staff in Baguio. A hotel is good too or BPO. But I don’t have any idea how’s the work environment in BPO industry (both accounting and call center) I am also thinking of working in Manila where my tita is. It’s a law firm. I’m not also sure if it’s accounting related work. But a part time would do. Buuuut. The but here is that I will be living with tita. I know we’re close, we really are. But the thing is I know there’s a huge difference when I am going to live with here than the usual family visit every December. I don’t know but the idea is just not comfortable to me.

I worry a lot of things. I feel like I could do more but couldn’t at the moment. I shouldn’t have gave up the apartment in Baguio because the rent was shouldered by my tita but what can I do? I was still undecided of my plans for review at that time. I could still come back at June but I cannot wait that long. I feel like it’s too long. Lord, I’m so torn. Please help me decide. Guide me what should I do? 🥺

[gelley-thoughts]

It’s always nice to share these dreams with mama. It’s not possible ma don’t worry. As long as we aspire, it’s always possible. Makakapagtravel rin tayo abroad. Makakapag grocery rin tayo sa SnR and Landers. Makakapag cruise ship rin tayo while having dinner. Makakapag shopping rin tayo for nice clothes ;))

I’ll always trust Him and pray for guidance. Walang imposible. Step by step lang eh. Yung sumakses ka ba AHAHAHA. Kaya yan!

[gelley-thoughts]

It would be nice to see you

[gelley-thoughts]

Naalala ko lang kanina. Bakit ka nag audit firm? I know medyo may similar boundaries between sa career path natin. I just wonder why? Mahirap pa naman mag assume but I really wonder. Was I part of the thought kung bakit ka ng audit firm? It’s one of the big 4 so obviously the it will open big door of opportunities someday.

[gelley-thoughts]

Hi! Just wanna say that I graduated! After all my rants, worries, sadness, disappointments that I vented out here, I thank the Lord because I made it. I graduated BSAc!! OMGGG!!

[gelley-thoughts]

Nalungkot naman ako bigla HAHAHAHA 4 days na rin kasi na si U1 kasama ko. Literal na kasama gumala, kumain, matulog. Tapos ngayon mag-isa ko sa apartment. WTH. Ano naman tong nafifeel ko. Di ko manlang makwento sa iba.

[gelley-thoughts]

I just think that it’s insensitive on my part. Na ayain ako to party. Right now, really? I don’t quite feel okay especially today because of the result of mockboards. The heaviness I am now feeling because of the pressure. I need to take the removals exam for 2 subjects. I can’t even fathom how many lessons I have to review in just 5 days. And I don’t even know how to enjoy the remaining holiday vacation because of this.

I am feeling sad, indeed. I can now feel the pressure. I don’t even want to cry because I don’t want to ruin the holiday. After all, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. It’s my favorite month of the year.

Lord, I need Your divine intervention. Help me pass this removals exam on January 7 and 8.

-12/27/24

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Ito nanaman yung lungkot na nafifeel ko every after New Year’s Eve. Balik na sa reality. Yung emptiness ng tahimik na ulit. Miss ko na agad ang December moments🥺

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You guys makes me want to cry🥺

[gelley-thoughts]

Bakit naman ganito. Di ko pa alam paano ko rereviewhin lahat ng ganun ganun lang. From prelims to finals

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Maremovals ko na lahat. Wag lang AFAR. Para akong masusuka

[gelley-thoughts]

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding, In all your ways commit to Him, And He will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3 : 5-6

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Narealize ko lang na sobrang laki ng pangarap ko HAHAHAHA. Kasi imbes na nagrereview ako, ang ginagawa ko nagwiwindow shop ng house and lot😭😭

[gelley-thoughts]

First time ko na to checkout order that's worth 1k of makeup products. I'm so happy because I always wanted to buy makeup. I'm always the kikay girlie but remained lowkey and simple with my style.

Well first is because I'd rather spend my allowance on something else as it was not my priority. I was about to feel guilty but then realized that if I can spend my allowance and savings going to parties, all the more reason why can't I check out the makeups that I always wanted.

Ever since my brother said "bakit ka nagigiguilty sa binili mo? Para sa sarili mo naman 'yan". His words na 'don't be like that to yourself' really ingrained upon me. Kasi looking back, I don't carelessly spend money. I know how hard my father works for every penny. And I know the sacrifices my mother had to make for us. That's why, growing up, I already know the importance of saving and buying what I need.

His words were really something that touched me. I can't always be selfish about some things that I want. It's not also bad to spoil yourself one in a while. Don't be too hard on yourself, you also know that many of your days, you endured and always been patient.