gayomensenergy

[gayomensenergy]

Ding!

Archangels Gabriel and Michael sat glowering at the nearby hovering screen. It was emitting chimes practically nonstop.

13:24:45: [Aziraphale] Moved one (1) plastic cup to trash bin. 13:24:47: [Aziraphale] Moved one (1) cigarette butt to trash bin. 13:24:48: [Aziraphale] Moved one (1) plastic straw to trash bin. 13:24:49: [Aziraphale] Moved one (1) styrofoam container to trash bin. 13:24:52: [Aziraphale] Moved one (1) left sock to trash bin.

“Why doesn’t he just miracle all of them in at once?” Michael asked in frustration.

“You damn well know why,” Gabriel muttered. Ever since that horrifying day that Aziraphale stood in a column of demonfire and then belched out a gout of it at them, it seemed that he was going out of his way to just piss off the management with incessant spam.

Gabriel sighed in relief when he saw that the onslaught of messages stopped for a bit. “Anyway. I was thinking that if we do want to arrange for the Big One™, we might want to–”

Ding!

13:25:49: [Aziraphale] Removed one (1) Swastika graffiti.

Michael glanced at the screen. Then she shrugged and shared a nod with Gabriel. “Fair.”

“… we might want to have you get a few more ‘contacts’ in low places, if you know what I mean,” Gabriel continued.

Michael took a breath to respond.

Ding!

13:25:58: [Aziraphale] Applied one (1) graffiti reading ‘Gabriel <3 Beelzebub.’

Michael stared at Gabriel, her eyebrows twitching up questioningly.

Gabriel shifted uncomfortably in his chair, “… well, now he’s just being petty. Come on, Aziraphale.”

Michael decided to ignore it and move on, “I may be able to make some arrangements. Even if the holy water didn’t work out as planned, the exchange was still marked as satisfactory…”

Ding!

13:26:15: [Aziraphale] Applied one (1) graffiti reading ‘Gabriel = Gross Matter.’

The two archangels scowled at the readout. “Something needs to be done about him,” Michael said.

Gabriel raised his eyebrows in a doubtful look. “Soooo… you saying you wanna be the one to confront him about it?”

Michael sat quietly for a moment, glancing aside nervously as she recalled the image of Aziraphale’s gleeful, hellfire-engulfed features.

“… on second thought, we have better things to do,” she murmured.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! …

13:26:49: [Aziraphale] Created one (1) grain of rice. 13:26:50: [Aziraphale] Created one (1) grain of rice. 13:26:51: [Aziraphale] Created one (1) grain of rice. 13:26:52: [Aziraphale] Created one (1) grain of rice. 13:26:53: [Aziraphale] Created one (1) grain of rice. 13:26:54: [Aziraphale] Created one (1) grain of rice. …

[gayomensenergy]

wdym is this not how it went

[gayomensenergy]

anthony "acts of service" crowley forced to do words of affirmation and he looks like he's about to have a heart attack the whole time

[gayomensenergy]

we go just right.

[gayomensenergy]

[gayomensenergy]

beelzebub: so now that you’ve fallen, you’re supposed to do bad things. Like tempt people into stuff. murder, lying, stuff like that. just you know, your regular temptations

crowley: i can tempt…anybody?

beelzebub: well…yeah

crowley, busting open the gates to eden, sweating profusely and holding a rose in his mouth: HEY AZIRAPHALE

[gayomensenergy]

good omens but every time aziraphale fucks up mamma mia starts playing

[gayomensenergy]

some of y’all don’t realize that michael sheen is only 2 years older than david tennant and it shows

[gayomensenergy]

harry houdini once pulled a coin from behind aziraphale’s ear, effectively hooking him on “magic”. crowley, forced to suffer thru aziraphale’s obsession and shitty tricks, got revenge on houdini (who spent years debunking spiritualists) by holding a seance and communicating with him after his death��

[gayomensenergy]

Someone invites Crowley over for shabbos after seeing him alone in the back row during service and he spends the next few decades making sure they get new shoes and gift baskets on the appropriate holidays. 

“Yeah, that’s uncle Crowley. His granddad had dinner with our family once and now his family’s just like weird cousins. Always wears black; he’s either orthodox or his whole family’s been very goth for, like, ever” –one of the family’s kids at torah study

[gayomensenergy]

I can’t stop thinking about this tiktok i saw of a girl who was an extra in the good omens s2 bar scene and at one point david tennant just SMASHED into a wall and she was like omg are you alright and he said yeah he could just barely see with the snake eye contact lenses and the sunglasses and now i think about it every time i rewatch the confession scene like man walked off turned back around and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkeyed michael sheen’s pursed lips

[gayomensenergy]

[gayomensenergy]

While you were being heterosexual, I lost my blade.

[gayomensenergy]

"what are you a cop" is bookaziraphale's entire mindset btw. "is it very angelic to hoard books and be mean to customers" what are you a cop? "should you really be married to your adversary" what are you a cop? "should your husband be parking his car there" ah you ARE a cop. explodes your ticket notebook with his mind. like in his mind if the lord herself doesn't come down to tell him off he's doing just fine. because he's doing it. and if she DOES come down (where is the flaming sword I gave to thee) well then. what is she a cop

[gayomensenergy]

oh my god. it just hit me. the time they met in eden, the first time in crowley's mind, he asked aziraphale a question and instead of smiting him or ignoring him, he answered. for the first time in his demonic existence, someone answered a question for him without any thought, like he deserved to hear the answer. no wonder he immediately fell in love huh

[gayomensenergy]

you doubt metatron's taste in coffee? you doubt metatron's taste in coffee like he's some low level nobody? oh! oh! superheaven for aziraphale!! superheaven for aziraphale for ETERNITY!!

[gayomensenergy]

aziraphale with the funniest career trajectory in history: cherub -> FUCKS UP FIRST ASSIGNMENT SO SO BAD -> DEMOTED TO PRINCIPALITY -> dishonorable discharge -> FAILED EXECUTION -> retirement -> PROMOTED TO SUPREME ARCHANGEL