garyking-and-the-enablers

[garyking-and-the-enablers]

Les Amours Imaginaires (2010) dir. Xavier Dolan 

[garyking-and-the-enablers]

[garyking-and-the-enablers]

Going to use my Tumblr to complain about my life because I'm pretty sure it's been so long since I've been on here that everyone's forgotten me. It's always embarrassing as hell when I see what old friends are up to or run into anyone I haven't seen in a while if I end up telling them the truth about what I've been up to the past few years. Most of the time I just end up lying so I don't have to explain the endless cycle of getting my shit together for a brief period of time until I end up fucking up and relapsing, destroying relationships, and constantly lying until my life is in total ruins, enough so that I clean up again just cause life had ended up being too hectic to handle. And of course with each time I fuck up and start getting high again, I gradually lose support from what's left of my family during the periods where I desperately try to stay clean as long as possible, any friends I've had who aren't drug users have already ended up long gone and I don't blame them. It must be horribly frustrating to try and be friends with a person who chronically makes the same horrible decision over and over and over despite being totally familiar with the consequences of making said horrible decision. This last run I went on was the worst and longest, involved the most legal issues I've ever dealt with, and did a lot of damage to my remaining relationships with my parents and brother. One consolation prize is the fact Im not currently incarcerated and the legal system decided to give me a chance instead of throwing me right in jail but it has left me with a bit of a record which is not an issue I ever thought I would have to deal with in life. I've hurt my family so much that despite giving sobriety a chance for probably around the forth or fifth time, I still have to go about it while living homeless in the streets since I can't be trusted to not relapse. Jail would actually probably offer more stability in my life than my current situation lmao. My brother is still offering me somewhere to stay up in Canada with him but I have to finish dealing with my legal problems and replace my naturalization certificate before being able to legally cross the border back into Canada so in the meantime, I'm still struggling on the streets, never knowing when I'll eat next, and sleeping outside. Maybe I needed to reach this rock bottom in order to finally obtain longevity in my sobriety, this is the hardest period of my life I've ever gone through with literally zero support from anywhere. I'm never able to find consistent work since my ID is expired so it's always just any temporary gigs I can find which sometimes will have weeks in between them. This situation is temporary until I get everything set to move out of the country and up with my brother and I just have to survive the duration of it. Surviving has never been as difficult as it is right now though cause on top of trying to figure out how to eat day to day, I have to be strong enough to not get high again while I have nothing to my name and no roof over my head. I've managed thus far though so hopefully I continue successfully maintaining sobriety and somehow surviving until a better situation is obtainable. I can deal with sleeping outside, hopefully I just find steady work to consistently be able to eat while I'm still in Vegas because it sucks to be constantly hungry. Sorry if anyone actually took the time to read this post, just needed to rant and don't actually have anyone to rant to anymore but there's no one to blame but myself for that.

[garyking-and-the-enablers]

im gay

[garyking-and-the-enablers]

The Master(2012); directed by Paul Thomas Anderson 

You can’t take this life straight, can you?

[garyking-and-the-enablers]

A mother doesn’t wake up one morning not loving her son. Do you get that? The only thing that’s going to happen is I’ll love you more and more, and you’ll be the one loving me less and less.

Mommy (2014) dir. Xavier Dolan

[garyking-and-the-enablers]

[garyking-and-the-enablers]

[garyking-and-the-enablers]

On the set of Paul Thomas Anderson’s Inherent Vice.

Watch a behind-the-scenes documentary on the film.

[garyking-and-the-enablers]

To me, the idea of success is to be able to work with people you admire.

[garyking-and-the-enablers]

“Do you know what “nemesis” means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an ‘orrible cunt… me.“

Snatch (2000) dir. Guy Ritchie

[garyking-and-the-enablers]

Edward Norton on the set of “Birdman”, photographed by Emmanuel Lubezki

[garyking-and-the-enablers]

I didn’t say I was different or better. I’m not. Hell, I sympathize. I sympathize completely. Apathy is the solution. I mean, it’s easier to lose yourself in drugs than it is to cope with life. It’s easier to steal what you want than it is to earn it. It’s easier to beat a child than it is to raise it. Hell, love costs: it takes effort and work.

[garyking-and-the-enablers]

Hitchcock/Truffaut (2015)

[garyking-and-the-enablers]

ive finally like to announce that i am gay!!!! If any guys are interested in me message me and ill give you my number. Also plz no black, jews, hispanics, or asians! WHITES ONLY!!! WE ARE THE SUPERIOR RACE!!! SPICKS GTFO

[garyking-and-the-enablers]

You know, this open marriage is ridiculous. Somebody’s gonna get hurt.

[garyking-and-the-enablers]