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$80 games.

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motel vending machine ate his change

(I got lazy on the background)

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Let me just fuck things up real quick

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My favorite relationship dynamic in fiction is a worshipper and their God. Not a literal God, but their God. The only thing in the whole world that matters to them. I will live for you, I would die for you, I would kill for you. My only moral compass is You. You can do no wrong in my eyes and I will never stray from your side. I was born to meet you and to love you. You are the only being I pray to. Your life isn’t just my passion, it’s my religion. You don’t think you’re anything special but you don’t see what I see. You don’t see that you’re the only person who’s ever made me feel this way. You don’t understand how beautiful you are to me and I will devote my entire life to making you understand and accept it.

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How did you get so good at writing??? Did you take classes? I feel like you should get paid all the money for this! (I subscribe to your website!)

after i dropped out of high school i found a torrent of like 5GB of OCRd romance novels and i read like 3 romance novels a day for a while

read enough romance novels and you will realize that they live or die entirely on technical skill. if you are new to romance novels then even bad ones can dazzle you with novelty but by the time you are on your 30th historical fake engagement between a bluestocking and a rakish duke you can grade them and you know when they've failed. when two books have what should be the same main characters hitting the same plot beats, but one of those books is delightful and the other fucking sucks, you learn some things. some books are bad and still delightful. other books are good but they just don't hit. you start to see the seams in the bad ones. 'oh, this is a weird out of character moment because she wanted to have the kabedon moment and didn't know how to get there'. 'she didn't want the ust to end but couldn't think of a better reason than this deus ex cockblock.' that kind of thing.

you could probably do this with other genres but i like romance because the plot is two people fall in love. that's it. everything else is set dressing. if you can figure out how to make that work you can carry it over into whatever other genre you feel like. mysteries would give you a different skillset around plotting that i don't have.

anyway after that i wrote a lot.

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The second she’s in, Matt starts the car. “Cooler is an understatement. You have any idea how unreliable the buses were? Stood at the side of the road in the rain for like an hour. Shit sucked.” He throws a lopsided grin at her while reversing. “Caught a cold but also managed to pilfer some cheap cider durin’ the trip so arguably it was worth it.”

While he gets them out of the carpark and into the road, it’s obvious how much more comfortable he is sitting behind the driver's seat than he was at the reunion. Matt’s whole body is visibly slackened compared to earlier, and his words come out more freely. If it wasn’t for the strange weight on his stomach that Matt assumes is transferred  from Jinx to him through the bond he might have even claimed it’s the best he’s felt for a good long while.

Having your brain chemistry involuntarily fucked like this sure is a trip.

Matt glances at her just before she opens her mouth, almost knowing she is about to say something. He doesn’t answer immediately, tries to read the emotions that the bond is sending him. Fear, maybe uncertainty? Matt bites his cheek.

“Depends on context I guess,” he finally responds with a hum, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel while waiting for some stupid lights to change. “Generally I’d say not very,” he continues with a shrug. “But I don’t think this is typical shit. So can’t really tell.”

“Ask anyway. I can’t see it making anything worse.

There's a small eyebrow raise from Matt once he notices the change in her attitude but he doesn't say anything. Mentally he clocks the group as People That May Mean Trouble and grins weakly at Jinx.

"What I've been thinkin' for the most of the evening," he responds back and, after pushing himself off the wall, starts walking towards the car park. He's had a drink or two but nothing that will stop him from being able to drive - which Matt thanks his lucky (ha!) stars for.

"Might not come as a surprise," he starts while scratching the back of his neck, "but the car ain't the tidiest." Taking the last drags of his cigarette, he flicks it onto the ground and finally stops in front of an old but surprisingly well-kept red car. He unlocks the doors and gets in, throwing couple of empty takeaway bags and cans from the passengers seat to the back seat before waving her in.

"Last time I sneaked outta here I had to go by bus," he hums while adjusting the mirror, keeping his hands busy while waiting for her. "Gotta say this is much less a pain in the ass."

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a friendly face that cheers you up

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and just when you think you’re at your absolute lowest a blonde motherfucker comes along and makes everything so much worse

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just out here

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This person needs to be arrested im going to cry

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Happy birthday Mello! 🎂🎈🎉

I'm way too busy with work to make a proper illustration so here's some old sketches I've never shared to make up for the lack of art 💖

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Mattmelloweek Day 2 - Online friend/one sided romance/devotion

I started writing something for this prompt and it got away from me to the point that it had become only tangentially related, so here's a funny lil picture instead.

He's on MSN Messenger and he's waiting for Mello to log on. He's trying to play it cool though, and when Mello comes online Matt's going to wait minimum 10 minutes before he sends Mello a "hey." As if he's too busy messaging other people.

Mello's username has a bunch of ~xXx~xXx~ going on. Which if you weren't aware, is hot girl shit.

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Does Matt ever have bad days? If so how would Mello try to help him feel better?

matt doesn't let mello in when he's having bad days. matt doesn't want to be a burden. so mello would do nothing, as he wouldn't even know. gets better post canon but it takes time.

what do you think mello would do if he knew? any ideas?

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i uh. finally have a working laptop again after a mishap (partners foot vs my screen? partner won). and while most of my free time hours are currently going towards finishing my first run thru of the g a t e s of 3rd blahdur. i would like to actually try to write again. so like.

everyone i've badly talked to in the last coupla months i may try to message you in the next some weeks but also. if you'd like me to try to do a contact pls let me know by a like or smth idek. this is my annual message to remind everyone i do exist and sometimes i write words. or something.

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Mellodramattic acrylic painting I did today for a study

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Unethical polyamory not in the sense that the partners aren't consenting to multiple relationships but in the sense that they kill people as a group