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galaxy-blues-11 · 2 months ago

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"Moving Forward, Spiraling Downward Chapter 8- Reset, Restart, Recover"

Sorry for making you guys wait so long for this! It's been a wild time between my jobs and life in general. This is a more mild chapter compared to the last two we've gotten, but I think we needed something small and nice to establish a new setting and characters! As always, thank you guys so much for your support :)

CWs include brief talks of death

Summary: The first day back in Pelican Town is eventful for sure. All Shane wants to do is curl up in bed and rot, but there's so much to do, people to meet, connections to make. After setting up a surprise for Jas, getting a new job, and meeting a future friend, Shane finds he has his own surprise waiting, one that cements the fact that he's truly home.

AO3 Version Here

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If Shane had expected any rest or relaxation the next day, he would’ve been sorely mistaken. All he wanted to do was sleep, rid himself of his exhaustion and recoup from the second worst day of his life, but that wouldn’t come to be. There was so much to do, so much to get in order now that he was back in town. No matter how terribly he was doing, the world kept turning, and he needed to move with it.

The morning had gone by as such a blur, so much happening all at once that he could hardly even remember the details. It was only vague flashes now. Waking up, taking care of the animals, seeing Jas get so excited to be back, eating breakfast, and sending her off for her first day of classes with Penny. He felt so disconnected from reality, like he was having some sort of out-of-body experience the entire morning. He needed a moment, at least a moment, to sit and process it all. So there he sat atop a bale in Marnie’s coop, curled against the corner of the building with a chick in his palms, staring blankly at his hands.

Being in the coop always helped him feel better as a kid. One could often find him holed away in its walls on a bad day, much preferring the company of chickens to people. But it did little to ease him now. Everything was just so heavy on his shoulders, feeling like they would shatter from the pressure. Wasn’t everything supposed to be okay now? Wasn’t he supposed to be happy, thriving even? Why couldn’t he do it? Life would be better now, his future would be better now. So why couldn’t he be happy? Everyone else made it look so easy to get back up on their feet after hitting rock bottom. It made him feel like there was something wrong with him, like he was born with a missing piece he so desperately needed.

“Figured I’d find you in here.”

He could hear Marnie's soft footsteps entering the coop, the touch of her hand on his shoulder, “How are you holding up? You didn’t look so good at breakfast.”

Shane just shook his head, closing his eyes tight, “Miserable. I should be happy now, right? Everythin’ is okay now, it’s safe. But I’m just-” he cut himself off, exhaling in a frustrated, grumbly tone.

“These things take time, you know that,” Marnie assured, taking a seat next to him on the bale, “You can’t expect yourself to recover overnight, especially with all you told me…”

“But I need to.” he sighed, exasperated and weary, “For Jas especially… I don’t know what’s wrong with me… Everythin's okay now but I still feel awful,”

“I wish you listened to me from the beginning,” Marnie sighed, “You should’ve come home years ago, Shane…”

Shane didn’t respond, averting his eyes from her. He was just so tired, he didn’t have the energy to continue rehashing this debate that always went nowhere. He wished he could forget it all, or that he’d wake up any minute and the past few years would’ve been some fucked up nightmare. But this was reality, as depressing as it was. All he wanted to do was curl up under the covers and rot away. But Marnie wasn’t going to let him. She knew from experience that all it did was make things worse. She needed to break him out of this, one way or another.

“You know… why don’t we set up a room for Jas? It can be a little surprise when she gets back!” she mused, “I think she’d like that,”

“She’d love it.” Shane whispered.

“Besides, it’ll get your mind off things for a bit, right?” Marnie asked, “I think you could use a distraction,”

“... I guess. Sure.”

Marnie had to all but drag him up off the bale, giving him a moment to set down the chick before they got going. She took a careful look at him, frowning at the sight. He looked so sullen, a husk of himself, even in one of his favorite places on the ranch. She hated seeing him like this, and wished it could be all better now, just as he did. But healing took time, and she knew that well. Today wouldn’t fix anything, but it could be that first step forward. She was going to make sure of it. She patted him on the shoulder, speaking softly, “Come on, now,”

As the two began to walk to the main house, Marnie caught a glimpse of the chick trying to follow them out, staying close next to Shane’s feet the entire time they walked. It refused to leave his side, looking up at him almost in a state of wonder. A little laugh escaped Marnie, “I think you made a good impression on little Charlie already!”

“Charlie?”

“Cute, isn’t it?” Marnie smiled.

“A little silly for a chicken, but yeah…” he smiled a bit, “That’s cute,”

Shane looked down, watching as Charlie circled around him, little excited peeps ringing out through the coop. He couldn’t help but smile as he watched the little chick run around, so happy and carefree. What a wonderful thing it must be to be one, to have no worries, no fears.

Marnie was already well into the house, the door shut behind her to avoid risking any of the chickens running inside. They could be such little escape artists, the troublemakers they were. It seemed Charlie was just the same, intent on following her newfound friend inside. Shane stooped down for just a minute, whispering softly, “I’ll come back later, okay? I’ll bring sweet corn too. Promise,” That seemed to get the little one to calm down, finally sitting still in one spot and watching patiently as he walked through the door, finding his way over to Marnie.

“I couldn’t have both of you just staying in the guest room, it wouldn’t be right,” Marnie stated, opening the door to the space connected to the living room, “What kind of aunt would I be if I treated you just as a guest?”

Shane peeked his head in, immediately inhaling a cloud of dust that swirled inside and hacking up a lung. The room had once been a beautiful bedroom, bright paint on the walls and fancy decorations filling its space. But over the decades it had slowly been transformed to be used as storage, full of hay bales, barrels, lumber, and all sorts of tools. The walls were dull and dust-coated now, rendering it unrecognizable from its original state.

Marnie stepped in, putting her hands on her hips as she looked around the room, making mental notes of everything they could do to spruce it up, “It’ll take some work, but we can get it done before she’s back!”

“Where are we gonna put all this though?” Shane questioned, motioning to the piles and piles of stock. Marnie shrugged, “Living room, I suppose… Not many other spots, are there?”

“You’re gonna put hay by the fireplace? Is that safe?” Shane questioned, looking just a bit uneasy, “And what about the furniture?”

“Oh, we’ll figure it out later,” Marnie stooped down to grab a bale, hoisting it high as she could with a grunt, “Now are you going to help, or just stand there and ask questions?”

Shane rushed over, grabbing the heavy bale from her arms and pulling it through the door himself, feeling his arms strain at the weight, “You’re going to hurt yourself, aendi, let me do it,” he scolded. Marnie just rolled her eyes, giving him a wry smile as she snatched up another bale, “Oh please, I can handle myself. I’m old, not helpless.”

The two spent hours lugging everything out, dragging furniture into Jas’ new room, and cleaning the place thoroughly. It seemed like everytime they thought they were done, a new layer of dust would come to coat the walls again, erasing their progress. It was a struggle, but eventually the two of them had every surface bright and shining, the pink paint on the walls finally visible once more. The room was barebones now to be sure, filled with merely the most basic furniture, but it was a perfect template to build a space Jas would lose her mind over.

But with all that heavy lifting, Shane was already feeling incredibly spent. He was sitting on the floor, leaning his back against a barrel as he caught his breath. Oh, he hated this. He remembered back to his varsity days, how he could go through hours of grueling training and still have the energy for a fun night out on the town. What happened to him? He felt like such a weak old man now, something he shouldn’t be feeling at merely 30, especially when his aunt was still flitting about with a spring in her step. She noticed him sprawled out, a concerned look growing on her face as she stooped to his level, “Are you okay, schatz? You don’t look so good…”

He nodded quickly, waving it off, “Just tired… dunno what my problem is..”

“You’ve had a difficult few days, it’s understandable,” Marnie assured, “But once you’re ready, I could use your help in the attic. I have something up there that I think Jas would love.”

Shane furrowed his brow, forcing himself up, “Like what?”

He followed Marnie upstairs, finding the attic to somehow be impossibly dustier than the storage room, a thick cloud of it billowing in the air as Marnie opened the trap door. She waved it away from her face, stepping cautiously over the floorboards to a large tarped item in the corner. Removing it in one quick flick, she revealed a fancy old dollhouse sporting a bright purple roof. Tiny porcelain dolls sat atop the wooden furniture, posed as if they were stuck in time since they’d last been played with.

“I’ve kept just about everything of our family’s.” Marnie mused, “This was me and your mother’s, from when we were Jas’ age! It’s old, I know, but she’d like it right?”

“Yeah!.. But.. ” Shane took a moment to look around the room, seeing bins and boxes stacked all the way to the roof, “Why’s there so much up here? It’s… a lot.” Marnie was right, just about every item this family had owned had to be up here in the attic. It was a miracle the ceiling hadn’t caved through already, honestly.

Marnie just shrugged, “You know I’m sentimental… It’s hard to get rid of memories when it’s all you have left,”

Shane nodded in response, knowing all too well what that felt like. There was a silence between them for a moment, solemn and tense, before Marnie clasped her hands together, “Well… no use in dwelling on it right now. Let’s get this to her room,”

The two of them hauled the antique down the stairs and began filing in Jas’ belongings, watching as the barebones room slowly transformed into one any child would be jealous of. A closet full of adorable clothes, a canopy over the bed, shelves full of toys and dolls, and the grand dollhouse sitting against the back wall.

It was time for just the finishing touches now, Shane carefully arranging Jas’ plushes at the foot of the bed, trying to remember the way she liked to keep them organized. She was insistent that certain ones needed to be sat together or else they’d get sad, and he could only hope he remembered the right arrangements.

Eventually it was ready, set up perfectly, and just in time! Shane felt a faint smile creep up on his face, one sourced from a sense of pride and accomplishment. After so long, Jas finally had a space just for her. Hell, the room was almost as big as the old apartment on its own. She deserved it though, truly. After all she’d gone through, all she put up with, she deserved to have something nice like this.

“Do you think she’ll like how it looks?” Marnie questioned, looking nervously around the room, “I haven’t seen her in so long, I’m not sure what she’d like…”

“If it’s got anythin’ cute and fluffy, Jas loves it,” Shane assured, giving her a smile, “She’ll be so happy when she sees this… Thank you, for everything.”

Marnie wrapped an arm around his shoulder, holding him close, “Oh don’t you mention it… I’m just glad I could finally do this! You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this.”

“Yeah…” Shane trailed off. He looked up to the clock, seeing just how much time had passed since they started. It was well into the afternoon, just about the time he’d normally be picking up Jas from her old school, “You think I should go get Jas yet?”

“You still have some time,” Marnie thought for a moment, “Oh, maybe you can stop at Joja first, speak to the manager about the stockboy job! You remember what I told you to say, right?”

“I’ve been working with you for a few years now and they can call to verify,” he repeated, “I remember,”

“Good! Best of luck to you, schatz,” Marnie quickly fixed his hair, looking him up and down to make sure he was presentable, and walked him to the door. She felt just a bit anxious doing so, watching him intently as he walked into town. Part of her wasn’t certain that he wouldn’t just run off again, that he wouldn’t grab Jas and leave to Yoba knows where, cutting off contact yet again. Deep down she knew it was a silly fear, that he was here to stay and that was final. They just spent the entire day setting up a living space for Jas, after all.

But she couldn’t shake the feeling even still. None of this felt real, or permanent. All night she had been checking the guest room, almost obsessively so, to make sure he wouldn’t run off again. Everytime she twisted open that door knob she was afraid she’d walk into an empty room yet again, and part of her feared she wouldn’t watch him and Jas walk back through that door today. She refused to leave the doorway until she was certain he was well into town, her fears just mildly calmed.

Shane wished he had better clothes to wear for this. Marnie had always harped on the importance of dressing well for an interview, or for anything to do with a job. A first impression was everything, after all! But the nicest thing he had now was an ill-fitting sweater and some black jeans, a pair of scuffed sneakers as his only footwear. He looked a mess, he knew that, but it was the best he could do for now, at least until he had a little cash to his name. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he kept his head down as he walked through town. He desperately hoped no one would pay him much attention, that he would be able to reach the store with little interruption. He was already feeling irritable, he didn’t need anything else to make it worse.

As he trudged on, he passed the little blue house by the river, the one belonging to that sweet old couple in town who’d been living there as far back as he could remember. There was some tall young man he didn’t recognize standing outside, fumbling around with a gridball as he leaned against the wall, trying his best to look cool. He donned a bright green and yellow varsity jacket, one he recognized well as the one belonging to the local highschool’s team. After all, he had one just like it tucked away somewhere in storage.

It was a good thing Shane didn’t recognize him. If they didn’t know each other, the less likely it was for him to be stopped, to be bothered. Unluckily, the man did recognize him. He couldn’t exactly place it just yet, but he just felt it, he knew Shane from somewhere. He racked his brain, watching as Shane lumbered further and further away, until it finally clicked.

“Are you Shane Yoder?!”

Dammit.

Shane stopped in his tracks, looking back towards the young man with utter confusion, “Do I know you?”

“No, but I know you!” the young man was beaming, looking absolutely starstruck, “Man, I heard all about how you were on the field in highschool! The first guy from the valley to get a full-ride gridball scholarship for ZCU too, you were awesome!”

“I… I have to-”

“I just wanted to say I’m a big fan, huge fan actually! I really looked up to you!” he held out his hand expecting a handshake, a huge grin on his face, “I’m Alex, by the way! Alex Mullner. I’m gonna go pro too!”

Shane pursed his lips, looking very disconcerted. On one hand, he didn’t want to be an asshole to this kid, especially after all the praise that had been showered on him. On the other, he really didn’t want to be thinking about his gridball era right now. He tried his best to be kind, awkwardly shaking his hand and turning back towards the river. Jojamart was just over the bridge, he was so close.

“Man, I watched all of the ZCU Hawks games in middle school, you guys were amazing,” Alex mused, “You and that team captain, just…. Wow… I can’t believe you’re back here, thought you both would go pro! Do you still talk to him?”

“… No.”

“How come?”

“I don’t think that’s your business, is it?” Shane snapped, shooting him a glare. Alex looked shocked, hurt even, stepping back cautiously, “Oh… sorry, I- sorry,” he sheepishly walked backwards, holding up his hands defensively and entering his house without another word. Shane was left on his lonesome in the yard, instantly feeling sorry for himself.

“Yoba, I’m a fucking asshole,” he thought to himself, once again lumbering towards Jojamart. He had to break that habit, getting defensive over the littlest things, especially when someone didn’t even intend to upset him. He could be so quick to anger, another vice of his that he was well aware of. It wasn’t that kid’s fault, Shane knew. How the hell was Alex supposed to know Jay was dead? He just asked a simple question, a question aimed towards someone he looked up to.

Huh. The thought was funny to him, honestly. The thought that someone might’ve looked up to him or want to be like him was… unbelievable to say the least. He didn’t think he was anyone special, anyone worth idolizing. Not anymore, at least. That version of himself died years ago, leaving whatever sorry excuse for a man he was now to pick up the pieces.

He finally made it into the store, hearing the little droning chime as soon as the sliding doors opened. Jojamart looked so… bleak inside. It was colored in that sterile off white and blue, smelling strongly of chemical cleaner, bright industrial lights on the ceiling. It looked almost otherworldly, in the worst way possible. The store was seemingly empty, only some exhausted red-headed girl at the registers and some overly chipper older man at the customer service counter. He was dressed in a full suit, round glasses perched on his nose, a large nametag reading “Morris” on his jacket. His eyes lit up the moment he saw Shane, waving him over wildly.

“Good evening! Did you come in to get a Jojamart membership? Only 5,000g, no trouble at all!”

“I… no, sorry,” Shane apologized. Morris frowned, looking particularly frustrated, “I see… You know, Mayor Lewis offered to hand over that old community building to us if we got another sign-up, so if you ever change your mind…” he trailed off.

“Nevermind, what can I help you with, if you’re not here for a membership?” Morris asked, raising a brow, “We have anything you could need!”

“I was actually wonderin’ if that stocking position is still open?” Shane asked. He couldn’t see it, but the girl at the counter made a face of such relief, looking like she was praying a thank you to Yoba. Morris grinned wide, “Well yes, of course!”

“I have a reference if you nee-”

“You’re hired!”

Shane blinked, completely not expecting that response. This felt too easy, like it was a trap. He didn’t even get to finish his sentence, he didn’t even get to tell Morris his name. Morris could sense his unease and distrust, immediately waving it off.

“No one in this bumpkin town likes to work, it seems,” he sneered, his face bitter and resentful, “A lazy lot, they all are. I’ve only been able to get Claire over there and that boy Samson…Trust me when I say you’ve made me very relieved.”

Morris took one good look at Shane, peering up and down before ducking under the counter, “I’ll put in an express order for your uniform, have it ready by Monday. You can have this for now.”

He slid over a folded blue hoodie, giving Shane a well-practiced customer service smile, “Welcome to the Joja family!”

Eugh, that made Shane wince inside. He knew well that any company that referred to themself as a “family” was instantly a red flag, and Joja wouldn’t be any different. He tried to be grateful even still. He had a job, one that would likely be yet another shitty dead end, but it was something. It wasn’t like he was in any spot to be picky now, anyways. He attempted to give Morris an appreciative smile, as fake as it was, trying to make a good first impression on his new boss.

“I’ll be in Monday, thank you, really,”

“First thing in the morning, bright and early!” Morris chimed, “We’re happy to have you!”

Walking out of the store, Shane stared down at the jacket in his hands. The material was awfully cheap and rough, an itchy feeling beneath his fingertips. Oh well, it wasn't like he could complain about a free hoodie, especially when it was getting cold like this. He just shrugged and slipped it on, silently cursing as the sleeve ripped at the shoulder the moment he slipped his arm inside. Of course. Just his luck.

He didn’t expect that to be so… easy, though. In the city getting a job was one of the biggest challenges he’d ever gone through. Employers loved to make people jump through hurdles and hoops for the simplest positions. He felt like he was getting pranked now, not believing his luck. Having something good come to him so easily was rare, after all.

He made his way down to the museum where Penny taught, happy to find it was mere yards away from work, a perfect walkable distance. Penny stood outside chatting with some man he didn’t recognize, Jas running around and playing with a red haired little boy, their laughs echoing through the air.

“Good,” he thought,”She’s already making friends,”

He shoved his hands in his pockets and lumbered his way over, leaves crunching beneath his feet. Jas immediately saw him, pulling away from her new friend to run towards him, “Uncle Shane, Uncle Shane!”

She ran into his arms, laughing wildly as he lifted her up, tossing her just a bit in the air, “It was the best day ever!” she grinned, kicking her legs in the air, “Ms. Penny ‘n Sam are so cool, and I got a new friend!”

“Sounds like you’re all settled in then,” Shane smiled, “Is Sam your friend?”

“No, Vinny is!” Jas pointed back towards the small group, directly towards the man Penny had just been chatting with, “That’s Sam!”

He looked to where she had pointed, seeing the man she called Sam begin to approach. He had to be in his early 20’s, bright eyes, a smile on his face that could make anyone’s day. His hair was styled into a mullet, spiked and wild, piercings dotting his ears and face. He could appreciate the style, recognizing it as something he’d wear when he was that age.

Sam held out his hand, somehow managing to smile even wider than before, “Hey, nice to see a new guy in town! I’m Sam, and this lil guy-” he reached down to ruffle the boy's hair, getting a laugh out of him, “- is Vincent! Glad he’s finally got someone his age to be his friend here!”

Shane reluctantly held out his hand in return, briefly shaking Sam’s before he resigned back into himself. He didn’t understand how someone could be so… cheerful like that. Not even Emily had that air about her. Sam tilted his head just a bit to the side, catching a glimpse of the embroidered “J” on Shane’s hoodie.

Sam motioned to the same “J” on his own hoodie, “Oh no way, you’re working at Joja now?! Me too! I’ll see you there Monday probably! We’re gonna be great pals, right?” Sam spoke a mile a minute, nearly tripping over his words, “We’ve been hopin’ that stock job would be taken soon, me and Claire hate doing it. Not that you will! It’s just a lot, y’know?”

Shane blinked, nodding slowly as his mind finally caught up to the barrage of words, “Yeah… yeah sure, buddy.”

“Sweet!” Sam replied. He looked down to Vincent, “We should get back home though, huh Vince? Almost dinner time.”

“Aww…” Vincent winced, “But mom’s makin’ lentil soup again!”

“C’mon, you gotta learn to like it sometime. Let’s go!” Sam turned back to smile at Shane and Jas, “It was really nice meeting you two, though! See you at work… uh…. Huh, I never asked your name,”

“It’s-”

“Wait, lemme guess…!” Sam held up a finger, making a face as if he was deep in thought for just a moment. He smiled again, a look of pure triumphant confidence on his face, “... Gary!”

“... What.”

“... Was I close?”

“Not even a bit.” Shane sighed, “It’s Shane… just- you can call me Shane.”

“Huh..” Sam shrugged, “Dunno, you looked like one to me… Shane’s cool though, I like it! See you at work this week, man!”

He motioned for Vincent to follow, the pair walking off towards their home with a spring in their step. Shane could only shake his head. What an… odd guy. Maybe he was just jaded, maybe Sam was normal and he was just some miserable asshole, but damn Shane hadn’t been used to that kind of genuine positivity and joy from anyone other than Jas. Maybe working with him in the future could allow for that positivity to rub off on him, make him feel a little less hopeless than normal.

He looked down to Jas, motioning himself towards the ranch, “We should get back too, huh? Aendi and I have a big surprise for you!”

“Really?!” Jas’ eyes lit up, “What is it?!”

“If I tell you it won’t be a surprise anymore! Now why don’t we head back?”

“Okay…” Jas agreed, feeling just a bit disappointed she didn’t know the surprise just yet, “Can I tell you about today?”

“Don’t see why not!” a small smirk found its way onto Shane’s face as Jas immediately burst into a grand story about her day.

Penny had spent most of the day finding what curriculum would be best for her, and Jas found herself very proud and boastful of the fact that Penny thought she was advanced for her age, bumping her up to a second grade course level already. Shane couldn’t help but feel that same pride. Jas continued to ramble about the day, about how fun Vincent was to play with. The kids at her last school were nice too, but he just seemed to understand her more, and she liked that! She could tell they were going to be good friends.

Seeing Jas look so vibrant and joyful as she rambled made Shane feel so happy… but also so guilty. She had what she needed here, but she was only getting that just now. His own selfishness had deprived her of the experience she could’ve had in Pelican Town, and he was worried it hindered her in some way. She was already so advanced, so smart emotionally and intellectually, but could she have been better? Penny had recognized how smart she was so fast, and was already giving her a near one on one teaching experience that was sure to help her excel. Could she have been some genius if he had just admitted he needed help all that time ago? He tried so hard to not focus on the past, as hard as that was. There was nothing he could do about it now, after all. All he could change was the course of his and Jas’ future, and hopefully change it for the best.

“Are you and Sam friends yet?” Jas asked, tilting her head just a bit. Shane laughed shortly and shook his head, “Not yet, no. I just met him, Jassy,”

“Why? Me ‘n Vincent are friends already!” she exclaimed, “And we just met too!”

“It’s different when you’re older, it takes more work,” Shane explained, shrugging his shoulders, “You’ll get it when you’re a grown up,”

Jas folded her arms and huffed, “Well I’m never gonna be a grown up! Then I can have aaaall the friends I want!”

“You do that!” Shane laughed.

The pair made it back to the ranch, Shane fumbling with the door’s handle as he stepped inside. Marnie awaited the two of them in the foyer, the warmest smile on her face as soon as she saw them. She looked beyond excited, surely for the surprise they had set out for Jas.

“What’s the surprise?!” she asked, scrambling over to meet Marnie, the biggest smile on her face. She was doing all she could to not bounce off the walls, especially with all the suspense that had built on the way over!

“Say hi first, Jas. Don’t be rude,” Shane scolded. Jas nodded in understanding, her expression slumping just a bit, “Sorry..”

“Oh it’s alright, sweetheart,” Marnie mused, stooping to her level to look her in the eye, “Do you want to go see now?”

“Yeah!” Jas all but screeched, following Marnie over to the door. She could only imagine what was on the other side. Maybe new dolls, bunny jewel slippers, all the craft supplies she could ever need. The suspense was practically killing her. Turning the handle and looking inside, she couldn’t believe the sight before her.

“This is mine…?” she asked in a whisper, looking around the room in awe. It was perfect, beyond her wildest imagination. There was a cautious excitement about her, waiting for confirmation before she got her hopes too far up. Shane gave her a nod, and that’s all she needed to lose it. She burst out into excited laughter, running around the room to look at everything. It was more than she could have ever hoped for, her own space, just for her!

Shane and Marnie looked on in glee as she ran around the room, pointing out every little detail and decoration that she could see. Everything excited Jas, the entire idea of just having her own room made her happy beyond belief. She felt like she was dreaming, looking at all the new outfits, toys, and the beautiful decorations that had been set up just for her.

She ran back to Shane and Marnie, hugging them both and squealing out plenty of “thank you’s” to the two of them before running back to play with the dollhouse that stood in the back. Shane gave Marnie a smile, looking very proud of himself, “Told you she’d like anything if it was cute,”

Marnie nodded in agreement, letting an amused sound escape her, “I have something for you too, you know,” she nudged Shane’s arm, motioning for him to follow her, “Why don’t we go look?”

“You didn’t have to do something for me too, aendi,” Shane mused, following her to the kitchen. Marnie turned to give him a less than impressed look, placing her hands on her hips with an exaggerated motion, “Do you ever know how to accept a gift? I know I taught you better than this,”

“I-”

“The proper response would be ‘thank you aendi, this is very thoughtful and you’re my favorite aunt in the world!’... Do you want to try again?” her tone verged on joking, but had a tint of seriousness behind it.

“You’re my only aunt,” Shane reminded her, a sheepish smile on his face.

Marnie rolled her eyes, “Oh don’t you get smart with me now…” she pointed to the door, her expression melting into one of joy, “Just through here, come on,”

Opening the door to the guest room, Shane was taken aback by the scene inside. What was once just furnished with only 2 beds and a nightstand had transformed into a full room, one built especially for him. A tv set up with his old gaming console sat in one corner, his bed in the other. A vintage lamp sat next to a plush red couch by the door, a yellow glow basking the room. Decorations were sparse, only a collectors gridball near the tv, some memorabilia and photos on the wall, and the box of memories he cherished so much. It was simple, but it made him feel so emotional, his chest tightening from just looking at the sight. He hadn’t had his own space in almost five years now, there wasn’t anything that was just his. And though it wasn’t much, especially compared to Jas’ room, it meant everything to him. There was something that was his, and his alone, and he couldn’t ask for more.

“I worked on this as soon as you left,” Marnie chimed in, voice filled with pride, “I know it’s not much, but I tried to make it as nice as I could for you,”

She pulled a box from behind her back, an even wider smile on her face, “Then there’s this, of course!”

Shane nervously took it in his hands, opening the lid to find that special jersey sitting inside, still neatly folded just as he left it a year ago. He placed a hand atop it, resting along the varsity number on its front. The note he’d left on top of it was long gone, but Shane still believed the message he wrote. He shook his head, feeling his eyes grow glossy.

“I still don’t deserve this… any of this.”

“Of course you do…” Marnie sighed, “You have to forgive yourself already. I did so a long while ago... Let yourself have som-”

Her words were cut-off mid sentence as Shane pulled her into a tight hug. He couldn’t make out any words, far too choked up to even try. Marnie knew that well, and knew exactly what he wanted to say if he could speak. She returned the hug, holding him tight as she smiled, “You’re welcome,”

It would take Shane quite some time to forgive himself, to learn how to care about himself again. But it felt possible now, as awful as things were. This room, this gesture of kindness, it was proof that things would be okay. Not today, but someday. It would be a long time until things were, but this was just the start he needed.

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