galactic-chaos9

[galactic-chaos9]

Throckmorton

[galactic-chaos9]

"I don't need a shopping list; with effort, I will remember that I need this item"

Okay but will you be able to remember that you already bought it? Because apparently I can't.

[galactic-chaos9]

u gotta be careful reblogging posts cuz what if you see it drowned in water later

[galactic-chaos9]

“Hey, I like this color and it looks great on me!” you say one day.

Six years later you open your closet and nearly every shirt you own is the same shade of rusty red-orange. Help.

[galactic-chaos9]

eat an entire can of sweetened condensed milk. you deserve it.

[galactic-chaos9]

we're having sex and you pull out at the end to discover your cock is entirely gone, dissolved (ive digested it like a pitcher plant). bye!

[galactic-chaos9]

How well do you see color?

I’m cry I scored 60, I feel blind

[galactic-chaos9]

I cannot relate to people who dislike female characters for “being manipulative.” She’s literally creative problem solving before your eyes. She’s literally just using her words. Maybe the other blorbos should be less pawn-like for her beautiful hands hmm

[galactic-chaos9]

“I don’t know what my goals are, no. Thanks for asking.”

[galactic-chaos9]

let me tell you driving from Ohio to Washington in a SmartCar with everything I owned was funny enough on its own but once I got west of the Rockies, every. single. time. I stopped ar a gas station, random dads would just spawn beside my car. like there was some sort of dad portal following me. and they’d see my ohio plates and go, “did you DRIVE through the mountains in that?” and every. single. time. I’d go, “well, they didn’t airlift me!”

it killed. it absolutely cleared ever time. never failed to make the dads laugh. they were obsessed. i said it the same every time. it was like I was in a groundhog day timeloop on interstate 70 westbound gas stations. and you know what? I was happy.

[galactic-chaos9]

any advice for college? im 3 days in & already want to mysteriously disappear during my next bathroom break

start a psychosexual relationship with one specific and convenient vending machine

[galactic-chaos9]

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

[galactic-chaos9]

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

[galactic-chaos9]

slowly approaching bear

[galactic-chaos9]

do you ever start writing a comment on the internet and then think “oh what the fuck am i going on about” and delete it

[galactic-chaos9]

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...